Ask Me Help Desk - Confused

Actually I'm still very much in love with her and would get back together with her no questions asked. Its not that she dated someone else since we were doing the break thing and it seems everyone takes that moment to stray a tad before they make up their mind on what will happen next, but the disappointment that she didn't keep her word about telling me. I can even understand her reaction about her telling me we would never be friends again and never to contact her again. Heck she got caught in a lie in front of her date and she reacted in a way to put her back in charge and try and put herself in the best light. Just because I understand her thought process doesn't mean I totally agree with it or have to put up with it. Hence that's why I gave her what she asked for. I just find it interesting now after two months she is making her presence now again, and still trying to see if I'll be there for her.

About 97% of the time... when women say the say they: need a break, space, time, it's me... IT'S ALWAYS ANOTHER GUT - ALWAYS!! ALWAYS!! TAKE NOTE GUYS.

Dude - she sounds like a liar and a cheater... AND you weren't allowed to date!!

It's always another guy with women.

Move on. You DO NOT WANT THIS WOMAN. Period, end of story. And I rarely say that.

You should have zero contact with this women going forward. She's a complete mess.

It's the old "people want wha tthey can't have" deal in your head. You are in love with a DREAM that might be what the relationship could be... but it's NOT reality... in relaity she's a complete mess, lied, cheated on you.

Yup. No good. And possessive. And controlling. What the heck are surprising visits are for?

Guys, I now you are exactly right about being in love with the DREAM of what could've been. Even though I am still in love with her I know we can never be together again as much as I would like to. I just can't put myself through that again knowing exactly what the outcome would be. Trust me I'm not blind to any of what you're saying. I was just running at the mouth in my last posts, but then reality set in and I once again came back to reality. Its good to be back. I guess just hearing from her and seeing her again out of the blue caught me off guard.

Wildcat21- should I expect to see more contacts in the near future until she figures out its not going to happen and then will I see an increase in effort on her part before she gives up?

Quote:

Originally Posted by 03fridge

Actually I'm still very much in love with her and would get back together with her no questions asked. Its not that she dated someone else since we were doing the break thing and it seems everyone takes that moment to stray a tad before they make up their mind on what will happen next, but the disappointment that she didn't keep her word about telling me. I can even understand her reaction about her telling me we would never be friends again and never to contact her again. Heck she got caught in a lie in front of her date and she reacted in a way to put her back in charge and try and put herself in the best light. Just because I understand her thought process doesn't mean I totally agree with it or have to put up with it. Hence that's why I gave her what she asked for. I just find it interesting now after two months she is making her presence now again, and still trying to see if I'll be there for her.

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Dear, you figured most if this out and yes, it still hurts and you still have feelings for her - otherwise you would not be human. But the other side of the coin in humans is that some, when rejected - seek payback - and that's what she's doing to your mind right now.

Please stick to your initial plans in staying away from her, and getting over the pain - look forward and let her steam. She will get over it too - the first guy she meets and gets her nails into will probably pay for what you did not - so let this woman continue with her games - she will eventually grow up - but not to benefit you.

Good luck in finding the one who will love you for who you are and appreciates what she has. You no longer trust this lady, and once that's gone, it's irretrievable.

Im just going to put this bluntly go on with your life. From what you posted she seems as though she is very confused about what she wants. I don't understant the whole business of returning the check to you two months later. It sounds like a pathetic attempt to contact you, but it's a really strange way of going about it. What's so wrpong with picking up the phone and saying "hey how are you, whats up,,blah.blah" I can't understand people who act like this. These games people play are ridiculous.

If I were you I'd just continue on with my life as though you never heard from her or that you didn't run into her sister in law (or your sister in law, forgot which). Until she physically contacts you herself I would ignore it completely. You don't need those games no one does. Besides your doing just what she wanted you to do in the first place, give her the space she wanted.