If you confront her she will only tell you what she wants you to know and may spin it to make you the bad guy. If you leave her alone you will probably get tired of the games and work toward getting your life together. If she plays these games with you now just imagine how you'll get played if you marry her and have kids,trust me she will not change over night just because you want her to. Leave her and her games alone for now and concentrate on Your education and building your life on a solid foundation!:cool: :)

Bro, nice to hear uve been reading my posts to help you out. However, as you can see the BS I've been through, seriously there is no understanding them. Just let her be, there isn't anything you can do. Live your life. You cared for her and loved her so I believe its OK to still hold a part of her in your heart, that's how I feel even after what my ex did to me. There isn't anything you can do. If she wants you then she will have u, look at it that way.

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Originally Posted by mattvit

bro, nice to hear uve been reading my posts to help u out. however, as u can see the BS ive been thru, seriously there is no understanding them. just let her be, there isnt anything u can do. live ur life. u cared for her and loved her so i beleive its ok to still hold a part of her in ur heart, thats how i feel even after what my ex did to me. there isnt anything u can do. if she wants u then she will have u, look at it that way.

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*sigh* I know. Its just that.. . It used to be so perfect for so long. I just don't know EXACTLY how it ended this way. I wish everything would just be straightfoward. I used to be good a playing this game, but not anymore.

Same here man. But it seems these days girls change like the wind and we r left in their dust. I honestly never believed my ex would have done what she did, but she did. Love is blind.

OK I'm a 17/f and I can tell you that if she really wants to be with you then she will come to you if not then she was trying to tel you that it is oveer the easy way si set her down and ask her if she wants to be with you good luck

Your statement of 'used to be able to play these games' but not any more, just proves that you are both growing and even though you don't feel the need for games anymore, she is not finished.

It's your choice, to either give her time or write her off - depending on your emotional make-up.

Again, good luck dear - things will eventually fall into place as they should.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

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Originally Posted by anotherdudeneedsadvice

Yes. After five years i feel that we have come toghether. And talks about the future (marriage, kids, a house) have always been a part of our conversation and we were both all for it (after our schooling). We have never done each other wrong. And, HONESTLY, I want a future with her. That is what i really want. I am only abiding to the rules of break up because i dont know what else to do. I mean, she is a great woman. I just dont understand this game. I don't want to play anymore. I just want to be straight foward. And she has told me, right before the break up, that she hopes it's me that she spends the rest of her life with.

So, what is going on? My feeling is that she really does need the break for time. But lately i've been suspecting other.

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Then you need to tell her all of this. Ask her upfront and honestly what, if anything, is going on. Tell her you want the break to end. It sounds like you're serious about her so she needs to get serious about you as well. Otherwise you end it right now before it goes any further ; otherwise the longer you play it out the more painful it'll be in the end.

UPDATE:

You guys, I screwed things up.
I made contact with her and I was a fool for accusing her of everything. All my accusations and suspicions were wrong. And the worst part is that I knew better than to accuse her. Its just that some of these forums plus recent viewing of movies ("unfaithful") caused me to go insane. So I came on to her full blown. Nothing makes me feel more of a jerk than making her cry (which I did). Anyway, she cleared things up and we said bye. Wildcat said that 90% of the time women ask for a break, its because of another guy. Well, I guess I was the other 10%. Damn. I also forgot to mention that I gave her a ring about 4 years ago. She still wears it and never takes it off. She pointed this out to me when we were speaking. So, I am still abiding by the NO CONTACT rule. Its just that I think I made things way worse. Should I do anything to make it better? Or leave it as is?








P.S. Today was supposed to be our 5 year anniversary.

Okay now if your really "giving her a break" then why are you showing up on her doorstep with a valentines present. I thought this was a REAL break. And I'm sorry but if that had been me (your girl) I would have def. gotten mixed signals from you. YOur showing up with a present on one of the most romantic days of the year and YOUR denying her a hug because your on a break? Well what do you expect her to think.

If you want a true to god honest break... YOU Don't CALL, Don't SHOW UP AT THE DOOR.. and defenitly no presents.
If this break is too much to handle and you don't want to go through it anymore then talk to her and maybe you guys should get together again.
BTU you both hve to stop with the mixed signals.. that gets confusing and then someone always ends up getting hurt in the long run.
You want a break? Fine, then NO CONTACT with each other. YOu don't want one then... get on with the relationship, stop playing games.

Well since my last post got posted after your update and not before your original one Ill respond to this.

I think you should just leave it the way it is and see what happens. THings got screwed up.. there isn't a whole lot you can do about it. YOu can try talking to her and apologize. But I wouldn't put expectations on it at this point the ball is in her court, so to speak. And the decision to carry on this relationship is really going to be pretty much up to her. Hope everything works out for you.

Hi,
I also hope the relationship will eventually work out for you.
Give it some time, and let her decide what the next move will be, if any.
Meantime, I would talk with other girls, listening to them talk about themselves. It really helps while things are being sorted out.

I'm not Wildcat, but I've been there and done that too many times not to see what your problem is. Young guys always fail to understand that people change. They fail to accept that their girlfriend has other things on her mind and is looking for a solid future to build a life on. They also fail to deal with the feelings of rejection that often come with these break-ups. So what do you do? You try to hold on to the past and waste a whole lot of time trying to get that girl you've become attached to back. Bad move! Now you've made her a bigger part of your life than she really is. I know its so hard to get over someone who you gave your heart to but for your own sake grow-up and move to other things that benefit you and your future more than whining over a female who has decided that your not the one, if you where you'd still be there,trust me. Back in the day I went through many rejections but there were so many bad ladies everywhere I went that I never had time to cry in my soup very long and to this day I look back at all the fun I had. Now those are only memories as I've been with the same woman 32 years have 2 grown kids and 5 grandchildren who love jumping on my belly-welly! So just so you know get a life and deal with it like a man and quite the kid games. Stop crying about yesterday and get into what today brings!:cool: :)

I been in this relationship for about 1 yr and 6 month now. I still don't have deep feelings for him. It won't even hurt if he were to leave I don't even miss him when Im away for along time.

Please elaborate on your disagreement