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-   -   My story, well tomorrow anyway. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=211632)

  • May 18, 2008, 12:25 PM
    bigbird213
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bigbird213
    You are setting yourself up for a failure by holding onto hope though. You shouldn't be checking her myspace, you shouldn't be putting up away messages to try to make her upset and you shouldn't be checking her away message to see if shes upset.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bigbird213
    You are setting yourself up for a failure by holding onto hope though. You shouldn't be checking her myspace, you shouldn't be putting up away messages to try to make her upset and you shouldn't be checking her away message to see if shes upset.

    Quote:

    Originally Posted by bigbird213
    You are setting yourself up for a failure by holding onto hope though. You shouldn't be checking her myspace, you shouldn't be putting up away messages to try to make her upset and you shouldn't be checking her away message to see if shes upset.

    For your own sake, just stop...
  • May 18, 2008, 12:25 PM
    talaniman
    Which one is harder?
    A. Your head?
    B. A brick wall?
    Answer-They both are pretty hard but your head will bust before that wall will.

    Whose fault is it when you run your head into a brick wall?
    A. The wall
    B. Yours
    Answer-Its got to be the walls fault because who is dumb enough to run head first into a brick wall?

    Stop running into that brick wall, or at least get a helmet.
  • May 18, 2008, 06:10 PM
    mattyamaha_27
    Thanks, I know what to do. I am creating the pain for myself, but I am hanging on to nothing. That is a great way to put it looking at the picture but not seeing it. I know there is someone better but I have this huge hurry to find them. I just want to be comfortable being single again. I have been going out a lot more with my friends just hanging out having a good time, they have all been though it and know just how it feels.

    They are always offering me advice and telling me basically what I know, I just don't want to listen. Thanks for the E kick in the lol. I am off to a friends house to play some super nintendo, haven't done that in a long time, its old school fun.
  • May 18, 2008, 06:49 PM
    bigbird213
    Good for you Matt... Thats what you need to do now, and keep doing for the next few weeks. I have been going out every night if possible, tonight is actually the first day I've stayed home in probably two weeks, but I kept myself busy by playing my guitar all night.

    Now I just hope that you stay on this path and keep yourself moving in the right direction. Trust me, your on the path toward a lot of self discovery and learning which will apply to almost every aspect of your life, not just in relationships.
  • May 19, 2008, 12:51 PM
    mattyamaha_27
    Today she deleted me from her Facebook and myspace. I should have done it sooner. I blocked her from aim, deleted her number from my phone, and all the pictures on my computer are in one folder. The pictures of us are in a box under the bed.
  • May 19, 2008, 02:03 PM
    bigbird213
    That's a good start... Keep it up.
  • Aug 7, 2008, 11:02 PM
    mattyamaha_27
    A little bit of a follow up to my story. I still kept in touch with the ex. Tried to do fun things together, in groups of friends of course. I then decided it was best so I could let go completely to just not talk to her. She didn't mind, didn't call me and I had known she was starting to date someone else, who was a casual friend of mine from high school. I also started dating a girl that I had met a while ago but we ran into each other from there. All of the sudden the ex sees us out together one day. Sends me a message online saying we have to talk sometime, my cell is broke but I will call you when its fixed. Another week goes by and I never heard from her, she saw us again, I saw her too just driving. She then calls saying that she has something's of mine to give back.

    I said okay, I can pick them up, (maybe a mistake but I was nearby at the time). She then had to confess how much she loved me and missed me but totatly understands that I was already dating someone else and just didn't expect me to come back to her, and I wasn't officially dating this girl but she didn't know. Then she started to tell me that she had lied about being a virgin, she had sex in her previous relationship that only ended because he had to move a few states away (keep in mind this was a year long relationship that was during 8th grade), she also admitted to just having lunch with him twice while he was in town to visit. So for three years she kept this all inside, and said it hurt her so bad but did not want to go on with out me knowing. I basically was shocked, but prepared for the worst when I went over there. The girl I was dating, moved to school and she is unsure if she wants to be in a long distance relationship, a few of the programs she is involved with means she has no free weekends for a while. I know sometimes getting back with an ex is the wrong thing to do, and I know sometimes it maybe the right thing to do. I just would have to be sure in my heart that I wouldn't the right thing, and right now... idk.

    Opinions, suggestions?
  • Aug 8, 2008, 05:05 AM
    Romefalls19
    You have healed from one break up, you know how to survive another one.
  • Aug 8, 2008, 08:40 AM
    talaniman
    I would keep no contact!
    Quote:

    All of the sudden the ex sees us out together one day. Sends me a message online saying we have to talk sometime
    Quote:

    she saw us again, I saw her too just driving. She then calls saying that she has something's of mine to give back.
    Seeing you with someone else has triggered her contact, and that's a red flag, because when you were available she had nothing to say. Heal and keep NC, so at least the emotional dust can settle, and you can make a better decision for yourself, based on facts and not just emotions.

    Quote:

    I had known she was starting to date someone else
    She may have been counting on you to be available if this didn't work out. That's not love for you. Stay busy and unavailable until you have healed enough to see things for what they are and know how you feel about it based on the facts.
  • Aug 8, 2008, 10:41 AM
    bigbird213
    I agree with Tal 100%...

    She started talking to you when she got worried. What is going ot happen when she isn't worried about you anymore? Stop and think about the cause of this contact, and the desire to get back together... How long will it last?

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