I can look sexy and modest at the same time. It's all how you perceive what is modest and what isn't. Who said that long hair and dangly earrings wasn't modest?

I totally respect you opinion Synnen, I really do.

I just choose to do better for myself. I make $500/week doing one of those jobs I mentioned. It might not be the whooping $1000 per night kind of deal at a strip club, but it feeds me, clothes me, bathes me, transports me, entertains me, pays the bills and I earn the respect I need as a woman in today's society. I could have turned to stripping but decided to take a different path. Women have choices.

I believe it is weak to say that long hair, dangly earrings, short skirts etc is fitted into the 'sex object' type. Who's to say what is sexy and what isn't? It's all in a matter of opinion. And partially it has to do with the media. I don't wear short skirts and barely low cut shirts but I do have the long hair and dangly earrings. I want to look nice, as I see it. That doesn't mean I'm trying to fit into that 'sex object' look. I think every woman (if not most) wants to look nice/sexy, does that mean that they are trying to be that sex object? I find that hard to believe.

I have seen the default picture on your myspace Beautiful, and I will say you're attractice but you didn't come off as a sex object. You seemed quite reserved with the clothing you chose. Granted this is loosely based on one picture and I could be off base. I don't see skirts, long hair or dangly ear rings as sex objects but more wanting to give off that impression of a classy female. Now granted the skirts that you know, barely cover your assets, now that is coming off as trashy. A friend and I had this discussion a few weeks ago about what is trashy and what is classy.

Thank you Romey! You're truly a blessing.

But what is trashy and what is modest? I love to wear big hoops. Does that make me not so modest? Often I am told that I was a very classy and modest girl. Even when I wore the 10 inch hoops (joking! Maybe 8 inches!). No I am not the type to wear a 2 inch mini- skirt with my butt showing, tight, low cut shirt and fish net stockings. I am the type to wear jeans, a cute tank top or shirt and high heels (I love my high heels), hair down, and big earrings. I don't consider myself as trashy or a sex object. I like to look good for me. It boosts my confidence by 100.

EXACTLY! See, that I like in girls. Where they know what is good looking as compared to what is trashy. I don't consider any type of ear rings trashy, I mean unless someone has a ear fetish lol. The only thing I see as trashy is what you describe with the skirt and fish net stockings.. I won't even approach girls who dress like that, I'm not the type to want my girlfriend to wear trashy clothing as it gives off a false impression. At the same time, I won't tell her what to wear or what not to wear, but let her know if she dresses that way I would not wish to pursue a relationship with her.

... But then again, I know someone who dresses fairly modestly but is a trashy person (sleeps around, lies, cheats, drugs). So maybe it isn't how we dress all the time but how we act as well.

This is true, it's all in how someone presents themselves. I mean I was out with a friend of mine buying clothes for her daughters, and they are all high skirts and low cut tops and I was like, wow, we are teaching children at a young age that dressing like this is OK?

Well with the media of course it's okay! NOT!

I know it's not the same thing--being sexy, and being a sex object--but really, there's kind of this fine line.

A short skirt with a modest jacket and conservative heels and tights = classy.

Exchange with ONE of the following: low cut shirt, spike heels, fishnets, and you have trashy.

The things you do and wear to attract the opposite sex are generally so that they will see you as SEXY.

I chose differently too, BB--but it was a very close call for me. If I had had a kid to support, I would have been stripping. I couldn't afford rent AND food, so I was counting on my one meal a day working at McDonald's and my friends to keep me from starving.

As far as the long hair and earrings--I was going with Biblical standards of modesty--a modest woman doesn't flash her hair around for any ol' guy to see... it's covered, or put up, or whatever. Either way, men think long hair is sexy. (Most men I've run across, anyway).

What it comes down to is that we could choose ANY job that an uneducated person can get to be degrading to women, really.
A cook--that's all women are good for! Standing in the kitchen feeding the kids!
a waitress--all women should know how to SERVE their man. (actually, this works for any customer service position)
working for a cleaning service - well, it's practice for what she should do at home!
Daycare- well, that's all that women are good for, is taking care of kids!

Isn't it really all in how you look at it?

Yea, celebrities have made such a mess of young people's minds these days. I hate to sound like an adult. But it really is a shame to see everything going down the tubes with the media in the past few years

Wow, this is an interesting issue.

I have to agree with Synnen on this one.

Any job can be demeaning, it all depends on how you look at it. Strippers make allot of money for very little actual work. If you are going to school, supporting yourself, then that money can mean the difference between graduating from college, and having a roof over your head, to dropping out and living with friends. I wouldn't consider Stripping as a "career choice" but stripping to get by while you are working towards a higher goal is okay in my opinion. It's not how others view you that matters, it's how you view yourself.

There are two points to this, one is your own choice and another is the girl's choice.
You both have own way of thinking and dealing with situations and now that you have taken a stand, it is Good For You.
Move on.
But yes, a woman/girl can do much-much better than just showing off and sell her body. Come on lady, show yourself some respect and love and just give up this idea.
Somebody listening... :-)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Synnen

I know it's not the same thing--being sexy, and being a sex object--but really, there's kind of this fine line.

A short skirt with a modest jacket and conservative heels and tights = classy.

Exchange with ONE of the following: low cut shirt, spike heels, fishnets, and you have trashy.

The things you do and wear to attract the opposite sex are generally so that they will see you as SEXY.

I chose differently too, BB--but it was a very close call for me. If I had had a kid to support, I would have been stripping. I couldn't afford rent AND food, so I was counting on my one meal a day working at McDonald's and my friends to keep me from starving.

As far as the long hair and earrings--I was going with Biblical standards of modesty--a modest woman doesn't flash her hair around for any ol' guy to see...it's covered, or put up, or whatever. Either way, men think long hair is sexy. (Most men I've run across, anyway).

What it comes down to is that we could choose ANY job that an uneducated person can get to be degrading to women, really.
A cook--that's all women are good for! Standing in the kitchen feeding the kids!
a waitress--all women should know how to SERVE their man. (actually, this works for any customer service position)
working for a cleaning service - well, it's practice for what she should do at home!
Daycare- well, that's all that women are good for, is taking care of kids!

Isn't it really all in how you look at it?

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Yes, I believe it is how you look at it.

In biblical times women were more modest. Sometimes I wish it were like that today. I choose to have long hair because after having it short for so long I decided that it didn't suite me, so I went to long. I did it for me, not for men. But hey, some men would think that short hair is sexy. It's all how one perceives it.

You forgot one job/duty of a woman: the child brearer... JK JK JK..! If only...