He told you to tell us about the paternal thing?? Sounds like he and you are justifying your actions to avoid confronting the fact that the behaviour you both diplay is that of gay men.
I can't help but point out the irony at the fact you say you hate gay people, your attracted to this MAN and you dream about this MAN and you smell this MAN while he is sleeping. Perhaps you should re-visit your stance and attitude towards the gay community, remove your double standard perspective and see reality first though.
Lastly, removing yourself from this situation would be very wise, with all that is going on I suspect you have a lot of thinking and analyzing to do about yourself, not to mention learning. Your comments about not wanting to be gay are also of some concern, NOT being yourself is a terrible way to live, I believe you have no idea who you are, better to spend time learning about yourself and less time pursuing this crazy affair. I think you would benefit from some counselling to perhaps uncover why these feelings have surfaced, and why you are so against them, it would do you good my friend.
Your comment aboutitbeing aproblem within you and not him is not quite accurate. This advice applies to him as much as it does to you. His actions,in some ways, are more bizarre than your own.