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1) Could your boyfriend understand love, life, and you under the condition that he was raised by an ignorant and narrow-minded mother?
2) Do you really confirm your love to him?
Talk to his mother privately that "I love your son." And let her know she is a racist in your eyes. If the answers to my question are no, he doesn't deserve you for a future with your sacrifice.
At work i got out early, and i called my boyfriend so he wouldnt visit me [i work at a diner] and when i called he didnt pick up, so i called his house..and his dad picked up and when i asked where he was he said, "he said he would be with you all night." and i panicked. what if he gotten into a car accident this and that, bla bla. He finally called me and i asked him where he was, he said, " i was with my dad the whole time." that worry quickly turned into anger and i called him out , " i called the house. dad said you were supposed to be with me." he laughed as if he got caught and said that he went to see a movie with his best friend, who happens to be a girl. i was so mad at him because he always gives me white lies, and whos going to stop him from giving me a white lie- to a huge one. Which he's also done. So i admit, i did this out of anger i broke up with him. i tried to cal him back when i calmed down and offered to see him but he simply said, "you were the one to break up with me and i dont want to see you." he hung up on me and i started to cry, and i texted a friend and asked if i could chill at his house. he said yeah i was fine. well we were just watching movies and he held my hand and my heart was beating like crazy...and i knew something was gonna happen. because he asked me,"if i kiss you will you hold it against me?" and i just said no. and we started making out and eventually we had sex.twice. and when i woke up, i was in his bed and i was kinda shocked. i wasnt drunk or anything, but i never thought i would do that. ...but i did..and i dont really feel bad for doing it. my ex confirmed the breaking up, and said he doesnt want to get back with me for a while, but what i feel bad about is that now i may have two guys hearts. i know its horrible and im a bad person. ...but i just dont feel horrible, when i usually would. theres something wrong with me! im having random sex, i broke up with my boyfriend of 2 1/2 years, and i dont feel bad at all! whats going on in my head?!:( :confused:
Maybe breaking up with your boyfriend is more freeing than you thought and that confuses you. It is easy to stay in a relationship because it is what we know, it is comfortable. But consider whether you want to be in a relationship with someone you can not trust to be honest with you. He obviously not only has lied to you, but to his father as well. Perhaps a part of you is relieved to be out of the relationship, so that could be one reason why you don't feel as badly about the breakup as you think that you should. This is only amplified by the fact that you now know someone else is interested in you... so you really don't "need" your boyfriend.
Just be careful not to jump right into another relationship because it makes you feel better. If you are interested in the new guy, take things slowly, see whether something more is there that you want to invest your time and heart in. Might be wise to just take some time for yourself until you feel that you have your thoughts and feelings sorted out. Too easy to get things all muddled up if you add the excitement of a new relationship right away.
The truth shall set you free... you know the truth about your ex and his lack of ability to be honest, and now you have been set free.
Don't worry, you don't really have either guy's heart. Your ex is a liar, and your new fu<k buddy is an opportunist. You aren't a bad person, you're just fickle and immature and drunk on hormones. It's normal, and you'll grow out of it eventually. In the meantime, use protection, or better yet, abstain until you're mature enough for a real adult relationship.Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInHisEyez
Sex it doesn't prove anything don't ruin your life now when you have sex it is a waste of like its not the awnser I really have to love a guy to have sex if you do it, it won't help you it dosnet make you happy at all forget the first guy... hes a loser I had guys like that you don't know how complicated my life is if you have sex with a guy he justs leves you right after to go do it with someone else!! Then your left with to jobs and a baby... its not worth it he's a loser don't go for him your really not a bad person you just don't know wats happing right now then by you know it you will start to find watz going on I know your going to turn out to be a strong person---tay :)
After two years(on and off) of being with my boyfriend, I decided I couldn't do it anymore.
In the past... 6 months, he dated two girls while we took a break. The first girl was barely two weeks, we got back together, the next girl was about two months, and we got back together. This time, we broke up over a lie about where he was and who he was with. (he said he was with his dad, his dad told me he was with me- he ended up watching a movie with his friend) so I called it quits. All I wanted was for him to just tell the truth, and to be committed. He said that's what he wants, but not right now.(he just wants to have fun. That's all he wants.) so again, he found another girl. He told me she meant nothing to him, but he just couldn't be with me. I told him that I couldn't be in his life. You know this is the guy I was with, my first everything, and I just needed time to get over that. But he just calls me immature and says it's a stupid idea. I think its because he needs my thoughts and advice, I was like a little thereapist. Just the other night he said that he was with a girl that meant absolutley nothing to him, and I was who he wanted to be with. And just yesterday he denied it, and was going to be with her. I told him that being with her meant losing me. And he seemed okay with it. I was/am heartbroken by it. I'm leaving for college in August and I just thought that I would have something or someone to come back to.. but at the same time if history repeats itself- this relationship will end and he'll find me again. But I'm tired of going through all this pain, but at the same time when we are together, he makes everything go away. I know that I just have to let him go for now, but at the same time, would it even matter if I just let him go forever? I'm at the point where if I move on, I'll miss him, or that if I stay here and watch him be happy with another girl, that my heart breaks. I don't have a great relationship with my mom (dad out of picture) and my friends don't give me great advice. I'd just like something that can just make me open my eyes and realize either "he was a jerk." or "he just needs some time" thanks.
You take him back, no matter what he has done, because you think you need him to be happy. Nothing could be further from the truth, as you must learn to do the things to make yourself happy, without him in your life. Once you realize this for yourself, you can move on beyond the dependence of being with him, to find happiness for yourself.
My advice is to go to college and forget this creep every existed. You will find new friends and great guys in college. And this is a great time to not be involved, there are plenty of new opportunities in college. He's not worth your time, end it for good, and don't look back.
He's a weight that you don't need.
You are welcome.
Looking for something to open your eyes and realize he's a jerk? Read your post. I'm not seeing anything there that suggest he might be good for you.
Go on to college, that first year will be difficult enough without having to deal with him. He is not making you happy or secure, he is just familiar and constant, but a constant pain.
Move forward and be happy.
Absolutely true.Quote:
Originally Posted by Homegirl 50
I'm not defending him, but he has a lot of mental problems.. and I guess I was mainly there to play therapist for him. I want nothing but to be his friend now, if we ever could, but I'm not sure. Thanks though.
Then he really needs to go to a professional. But don't feel sorry for him. You could possibly be friends after a break up, but give that some time.
Yeah, I talked to him and I told him that I care for him but I can't be friends with him until I can finally put him as a friend level. He said he understood, and that he hopes that someday we could get back together in the future.
The more we hold on to something, the less it stays. More importanly, the more we try to gain the less we have. In other words, if you stay you will more then likely be unhappy, but there will be those moments when life seems perfect, in his arms. But be mindful that that is a lie for there is only the moment, and if the time before is good but the moment is bad, then you will feel bad. If the time before is bad, and the monet is good, the you will be happy. (or will you wonder and worry that the future is going to be bad?? ) The past is history, the future is a mystory, but the now is a gift - that is why it is called the present. YOu know what you must do, have faith in yourself, and take responsibility for your individualism, and freedom to act, think, and feel.Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInHisEyez
No one knows what the future has in store, for it is clouded by many unforseen things, but the now, is now, and is all that matters. Be mindful of the future, but not at the expence of the moment. You don't know that you won't meet a super guy at school, you've never bin there, in that momnet, for every momnet is fresh new, and full of possibility. Embrace it and enjoy the ride.
Peace be with you.
Me and my ex went through a really bad breakup, and he just recently got a new girlfriend. I was wondering if I should message her about my side of the breakup, because from what I hear he's talking a lot of crap, and she seems like an understanding girl so if I tell her my side she probably won't break up with him, but not let him talk so badly about me. I'm scared though, because I still have a lot of feelings, and she just might date him out of spite and not notice my feelings. What should I do? Defend my name and get my feelings hurt, or, keep quiet and have him run his mouth?
EDIT- thank you guys for the advice, I guess its more of the thought of making them happy, and them talking about me, makes everyone think I'm some depressed stalker when I'm not. He's the one to always text me, or tell me he still loves me. (We were together for 2 years). I know that if his new girl would find out she would leave him and he would get what he deserves. But I know that for now he's happy, and that's all that matters (besides my happiness which I will most definitely get. No matter what.) the only reason the people talk, is because they want to see us together rather them, but he won't listen, and the new girl has no clue at all about it. But again, thank you guys for your advice. I'm still really sad about losing him but.. it happens I guess?. I really am heartbroken by it all. He told me last Saturday that he loved me. And then maybe two days ago he wrote me that he still cared. He won't leave this other girl for anything and they've been dating only two or three weeks. He's told all my friends what happened, only his side. I'm just incredibly tired of the petty drama, and if I could I would want to get my boyfriend back, chances are its not going to happen, so I just got to move on. Right?
Reasons it is pointless
*Love is blind she will think you are making things up and exaggerating for spite
*He will continue talking his crap, she can't control his mouth
*He/They will probably harass you in other ways than spreading stories.
So telling her will not do any good
To defend your name when you hear the stories tell the ones you hear it from your side.
Hey,Quote:
Originally Posted by LostInHisEyez
I see your point here but feel its best you don't say anything. I know this will hurt but in time you will feel better. If you speak to her she may feel you are making it up and make situations worse for you and as for him if he is bad mouthing you he probably will say worse if you talk out. In time I believe the saying what goes around comes around with have an effect. Hope this is some help. Best wishes x
Just let it go, it will make you seem like a pyscho stalker. Stop checking up on him, just forget he exists! He has a new life, new girlfriend just let him be. If you go around trying to set every rumor straight you encounter in your life you will spend all your time defending your life rather than living it. Rumors die down, they get old and new things come about to talk about. Just let it all die down
Tell his new girlfriend that he's a double-face jerk who talks trash about everyone behind their back.
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