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Originally Posted by inertia

Everyone is listing good stuff. I'll probably end up repeating or borrowing a little.

1). Lack of respect on either side. Top choice for me, without respect almost all of the other issues (lying, neediness, controlling, cheating and lack of communication) have room to flourish. Also, if someone has no self-respect it is impossible to respect anyone else.

2). They resent or hate their family. We all come from dysfunctional families, but if you haven't resolved your family issues, how can you resolve issues with me? A history of abuse, serious neglect or criminal activities are a different story, but quite possibly still a deal breaker out of self-preservation.

3). Too much flirtation. Call me insecure or anything else, but there are just too many negatives that come from dating an extremely flirtatious person.

4). The kind of friends they have. I'd like to elaborate on this one. You are the company you keep people. Birds of a feather. Now, this issue gets me into trouble, but hear me out.

I have all kinds of friends. However, when I'm in a serious relationship. I drift away from certain friends because they would seriously hurt my relationship. The player friend is the first to get sidelined. We all have this friend right? Would you expose your SO to this person too much? I love him when I'm single, but his philosophy is toxic to relationships and I don't want to be under scrutiny for his transgressions. I don't cut him off, I just limit hanging out from every weekend to once a month and always with the GF around us both.

The party friends go very quickly. They are a fickle bunch anyway, they don't even miss me when I'm gone.

If the person I'm dating continues to hang with these folks after we have been together for a year or more, I start thinking about ending the relationship.

When in a relationship, I like hanging out with other couples. I start nixing the bars and wild parties. I play golf with co-workers more, go to bed earlier. I become a more responsible adult when I'm serious with someone. I think it's important to let loose every once in a while, but I'm not going to marry a party girl or a girl with 100 guy friends.

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For me,nothing can be more hurtful than giving up working on a relationship.The absolute,most despicable deal-breaker is the complete withdrawal from wanting to work on a relationship by cutting down on communication,pushing one's partner away,not sharing what the real issues are and deciding on one's own that "its over",not even giving a chance to the other person to speak their mind.

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2). They resent or hate their family. We all come from dysfunctional families, but if you haven't resolved your family issues, how can you resolve issues with me? A history of abuse, serious neglect or criminal activities are a different story, but possibly still a deal breaker out of self-preservation.

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This is one of the things that went wrong in my relationship, he had many unresolved issues and had nothing nice to say about his family at all. I found it draining and felt he was dwelling on the past and although he didn't have the best childhoods, nothing that serious (compared to other people) had happened to him.

LYING and CHEATING are the biggest ones!

I like to hear the truth in my relationship no matter how much you think it will hurt me. The consequences can be dire because I warned you not to lie to me and that I absolutely cannot stand a liar.
Obviously if your lying to cover up cheating then that is a deal breaker for me. I don't tolerate cheaters which linked to liars.

My prime deal breaker is lack of communication - if I can't talk to my husband any more (for whatever reason) and we can't discuss what's happening between us then that, to my mind, would long term create an irreparable rift.

Lack of communication would signify for me a breakdown of the friendship and trust between us and an unwillingness to talk through the issues that are an every day part of all relationships.