Ask Me Help Desk - Is this worth chasing

Back to the Xbox...

I think if I were in your place, I'd buy another game. Unless you were tired of it anyway.

She got you to give up that game, as part of the games she has been playing with you.

Speaking from personal experience, when someone wants you to give up something you enjoy... for their benefit and not because it is detrimental to you... then they are controlling for their own gain. They can make you think that you'd be a good person, or that they'd like you better, if you do it their way, but that doesn't show much consideration for you.

Oh how I hate to play devil's advocate (alllll week)

First of all, YOU got rid of your Xbox after 5 months?? She must be a very special girl, even then I'm not so sure I'd sell mine.

Kidding aside, I do believe you overreacted to the guy overseas. Your standing with her was shaky at best before you found this out (the whole Valentines day thing). By the way, her excuse that she needed time because she was upset she does not treat you well is just that, an excuse. Nevertheless, you totally blew up when you did not have all the information available to justify such a blow up. Granted you probably weren't in your right head at the time but still. Let's face it, she could have given you a very,very plausible explanation as to the messages and in your frame of mind you would have reacted the same.

Also, talking or keeping memento's of an ex is not exactly what our minds tell us it is, it is not Capone's vault filled with every secret/lie girls/guys have hidden from you. (Actually they opened up Capone's vault and found nothing, how apt is that comparison hmmmmmm?) All me:)

I have realized that most of the time, MOST of the time it is innocent. You keep things of ex's like you keep things you like to remember (ticket stubs, etc) I have a box full of ex's letters hidden away, if any girl found that it would be quite the blow up, innocent as anything, but still. Same applies for communication, we automatically assume they are saying things behind our backs and aan affair is brewing, probably not, especially inthis situation.

To me, the dog tags, the e-mails, yeah it's a bit much. However, she is/was with you, not him. Perhaps you could have spoken to her about it instead of reacting in anger. Unfortunetly, I think she is pinning this whole thing onyour reaction while the real reasons need not be mentioned, you gave her that. Now she can always remind you and hold it over you.

I hope things work out, you seem like a very caring and devout person ( I base that on the Xbox, you SOLD IT!! ) although if they don't you may just very well learn a great deal about yourself and be more prepared when you meet your next hot girlfriend.

Man that last comment has got me thinking that I screwed up and now I feel like relapsing on the whole NC thing. Am I letting someone that I love go by being stubborn? I know that she did some bad things but I still care about her and I know that you can't possibly know the whole situation and the feelings each person has for each other from some text on a computer.. I am so confused now and I don't know what the hell to do. I haven't talked to her and she hasn't talked to me for a week. I read everyone's feedback and it makes me feel like I was a push over and that this girl is a total disaster but I still feel like she cared.. I don't know what to do.. I want to text her so bad too just say that I am still thinking about her

The thing is, what's done is done. Did you overreact? A... little bit. I agree with BMI that you should have spoken to her, but I think in anyone's case, it's normal to get a little angry due to one dubious event after another.

Regardless, what's done is done. Move on. NC it up the wazoo.

The act of you selling the xbox because she didn't like it speaks volumes of how deep you were in with her, which also tells me that you have much to learn from this.

Good luck. Keep you head up.

Whoa Caveman,

I'm glad to see my post gave you a different perspective on things, although lets not get carried away. DO NOT disregard the part I said about the day/week before Valentines day and that she is using your blow-up as a justification for her real reasons. REMEMBER, she was wondering about your relationship BEFORE you blew up. It sounds as if you think that if you hadn't reacted that way things would be perfect, very, very misleading.

I think she cares for you, of course she does, does that mean things will work out, of course not. You seem to be in an emotional wonderland right now. Calm down, DOn't contact her as of right now. Your not in your right head for that.

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cptcaveman420, Man that last comment has got me thinking that I screwed up and now I feel like relapsing on the whole NC thing.

Please don't do that, as it would only add to a very confused mind.

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Am I letting someone that I love go by being stubborn?

No your letting them go, because that's what they want.

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I know that she did some bad things but I still care about her and I know that you can't possibly know the whole situation and the feelings each person has for each other from some text on a computer..

That's where your wrong, as we have been in your shoes, some more than others, and recognise your feelings, very well.

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I am so confused now and I don't know what the hell to do. I haven't talked to her and she hasn't talked to me for a week.

We all have been through that confusion, and keeping No Contact will eventually let the mind be less confused.

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I read everyone's feedback and it makes me feel like I was a push over and that this girl is a total disaster but I still feel like she cared..

She cared but her feelings changed, and she wants to go in a different direction. She isn't a total disaster, and breaking up was not as easy for her, as you think, but she has had time to get over her shock, you have not.

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I don't know what to do.. I want to text her so bad too just say that I am still thinking about her

Again, we all have felt that way, in the beginning of a break up. Don't do it. Heal first, however long it takes, and leave her alone until you do. Those confused feelings will pass slowly, with time, and work on your part. READ-"What to expect when you get dumped"