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Originally Posted by SJB1701E

I keep thinking about the possibility she has another guy in mind and it makes me want to throw up every time I think about her kissing someone else or making love to someone else or even just doing any of the same things we did. I was never the jealous guy while we were together but now I can't help but be posessive. I can't stop thinking about her and about whether or not there is someone else.

I know you've heard this a thousand times but its driving me crazy.

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I know buddy I've thought those thoughts thousands of times... when I do I just think to myself why am I obsessing over my girl if she's doing all that, I wouldn't take her back if she did those things... I say to myself "fuk you if you wanna sleep around have your fun and come crawling back" some how it makes me not care anymore IF she did all that... and if she truly loves you she wouldn't do those things

I don't know why I checked out her Facebook this morning... actually I do know why cause I'm obsessing and need to get over it. Anyway, she changed her status back to "In a relationship" after I set it to single but of course couldn't link it back to me. She got mad and texted me a bunch from listing me and her as single. I don't know maybe it's a sign she's actually doing some thinking. Not going to speculate about anything else except maybe she's actually thinking. Trying not to let it get my hopes up, but you all have been there and know what its like. At any rate I've ignored her text messages since yesterday so I guess that's something. A good solid looong 24 hours.

My ex gave me the "we should be friends" line a week in the break and I told her no I don't want to be your friend, I want to be more than a friend... I guess it got her very pissed... the next morning she changed her status removed me from her top friends list... I guess thinking it would make me mad... wat do I care its just fukin Facebook!

Don't get your hopes up, and good for you, the first 2 weeks will be hard with the NC then it gets easy for a week or so, then back to hard because you feel "If I say something sweet she will realize she misses me" and then you end up texting her and she doesn't respond or says something like "let's be friends" and you're right back here banging your head against the keyboard saying you were stupid for texting her and blah blah blah... Trust me it happens to everyone. Stay strong, she is weak and you're strong. SHE ALONE CHOSE THE EASY WAY OUT. Giving up is the easiest thing to do, to stay and work things out is the hard part, that's why love is so hard to find. Because you know you can't just walk away from it, you want to work on it no matter what.(good and bad thing)

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Don't get your hopes up, and good for you, the first 2 weeks will be hard with the NC then it gets easy for a week or so, then back to hard because you feel "If I say something sweet she will realize she misses me" and then you end up texting her and she doesn't respond or says something like "let's be friends" and you're right back here banging your head against the keyboard saying you were stupid for texting her and blah blah blah...Trust me it happens to everyone. Stay strong, she is weak and you're strong. SHE ALONE CHOSE THE EASY WAY OUT. Giving up is the easiest thing to do, to stay and work things out is the hard part, that's why love is so hard to find. Because you know you can't just walk away from it, you want to work on it no matter what.(good and bad thing)

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Your right it does get better, I'm on week 3 and I can honestly say that the pain doesn't go away but its not as constant as the first 2 weeks. The worst part of the day for me is waking up because you realize she's not beside you and all you have is an empty bed with an empty heart. But I keep telling myself I have to stay strong and be a man and somehow I try to forget and make myself forget the love I lost just to make it tru the day... its one day at a time for a while!

Sorry guys I just woke up!

I hate to break it to you, but you never forget. I've been doing NC for over a month and I still feel the same about the waking up part. Only now it's I wonder if she is waking up beside him. While I know he is a rebound, it kills me to know that what we had meant nothing. A colleague at work text me last night and just said "she already said she thinks she loves him" and all I responded was "Good, I'm happy for her. But please do not bring me into her life as I do not wish to be apart of it" Once you get a month in you will have GREAT days where you barely think of her, but then you will have those horrible days where everything just reminds you of that person. But NC is the best way to heal and everyone on here is really supportive and always give sound advice and it may not be what you want to hear, but it's what you need to hear.

I'm on day 7 of no contact from her, and about 4 weeks of no contact from me. Though when I get the contact from her it sets me back a bit. All I can say is keep battling on as best you can. Rome is right that you have a great support network on this site, and the advice is good advice. Keep hangin in there. Remember you are a catch, you just got caught in the wrong net. You might get fished again by that net, but going NC will hopefully get you stronger and better as a person in time.

I keep telling myself this, so we are in it together!

You guys all seem to be doing great. I can tell you first hand there is no worse feeling then breaking NC for any reason (its amazing how one can justify it at the time) and having to start at day 0 again.

As for the evil of Facebook and breakups, I highly recommend going into the privacy settings and adding your ex to the block list (if only temporarily). You will not see her/his name anywhere, no pictures etc and they also can't even search/see your profile. It really helps those situations where you feel the need to check a profile and see what's on it, as NOTHING good can come from it.

Also the fact that she got mad that you set your status to single makes me think she is really messing with you. Sounds like she was planning on doing everything at her pace and you went and took control and severed it. I wouldn't use this as hope, more so as motivation to realize that your feelings probably don't matter to her.

I just deleted her numbers from my phone. Even though I know them by heart at least I won't be tempted every time I'm scrolling through my contacts list. I Blocked her on Facebook. Out of site out of mind again. And I packed up all the stuff she gave me in a box and shoved it in a closet for me to worry about later. I trierd to get rid of everything that reminds me of her. Its impossible to get everything but at least getting the majority should help. I'm telling my RL friends that its just over because I myself should just start thinking about it like that. Our friends wernt really intermingled. Her friends liked me but were loyal to her and vice versa so no awkward mutual friends.

She texted me again tonight saying, "do you still hate me 4 asking 4 a little break?" I didn't respond. I never said I hated her but I think she thinks that cause I have ignored 4 texts so far. To be honest, I'm so mixed up right now I don't know what I think of her

If you're mixed up then really don't contact her! (I know you wont) but yeah, give yourself more time, who knows, maybe you needed this break too. Try not to think about what she's thinking, you'll drive yourself nuts!

Psh, women...

I've decided to give up drinking for the time being cause I just did what I wasn't supposed to do. I got drunk and called her. Actually I did worse. I went and unblocked her Facebook looked at her profile saw a bunch of flirtatious things with her and this one very desperately single guy she works with. Using superpoke she was saying things like she was making out with him and cuddling him and carressing him. Now I know it was just Facebook, stupid effing Facebook, but he was the only person on there she was doing this with and it had been doing on 3 weeks or so. I know its just Facebook, but still, I think almost for sure she cheated on me in real life with this guy. Maybe it's the alcohol. I made a big effing mistake. I shouldn't have done this. That's why I'm stopping the drinking. Now she probably thinks I'm an insecure jealous guy. She'd be right, but but I didn't have to confirm it for her. I'm an idiot. She said she wasn't cheating and once again insisted this was just a "little" break when I referred to myself as her exboyfriend. I'm a fuking idiot. I know it. You know it. Now she knows it. I couldn't even do a few days of no contact before getting drunk and doing something stupid. Day 0 I'll try again.

... it wasn't the alcohol. You knew what you were doing... and you just used alcohol as an excuse.

Regardless, we all fall short sometimes.

You tripped. Get up and try it again.

Don't beat yourself up... everyone makes mistakes. But yeah, booze doesn't make anything better, this you know, so good for you for coming to the conclusion to stop for awhile.

I got no one and no thing to blame but myself.

It's all right. Everyone trips. Everyone falls. It's how you finish the race that counts.

Do I smell self pity?? Disgusting, can't you see the positive? No more drinking, and doing stupid stuff. That's a very positive lesson, if you do it. I been sober for years, and I still do stupid stuff sometimes, just ask my wife. Back to NC, sober this time.

Your little trip up really wasn't that bad. IF you can truly learn from it, it will help you to NOT do this again. You will be tempted to do something stupid again but remember how you felt right now, and that should be able to stop you.

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Originally Posted by SJB1701E

I've decided to give up drinking for the time being cause I just did what I wasn't supposed to do. I got drunk and called her. Actually I did worse. I went and unblocked her facebook looked at her profile saw a bunch of flirtatious things with her and this one very desperately single guy she works with. Using superpoke she was saying things like she was making out with him and cuddling him and carressing him. Now I know it was just facebook, stupid effing facebook, but he was the only person on there she was doing this with and it had been doing on 3 weeks or so. I know its just facebook, but still, I think almost for sure she cheated on me in real life with this guy. Maybe its the alchohol. I made a big effing mistake. I shouldn't have done this. Thats why I'm stopping the drinking. Now she prolly thinks i'm an insecure jealous guy. She'd be right, but but I didnt have to confirm it for her. I'm an idiot. She said she wasn't cheating and once again insisted this was just a "little" break when I refered to myself as her exboyfriend. I'm a fuking idiot. I know it. You know it. Now she knows it. I couldn't even do a few days of no contact before getting drunk and doing something stupid. Day 0 I'll try again.

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This stuff happens sometimes try not to let it get to you. Most of us had been there before and had made the same mistakes. I know I did, I broke NC even though everybody told me not to. I was naïve and it definitely put me back some in the whole "healing process." Remember how you feel now and learn from it.

If you can do your best to learn from others. Do not repeat the same mistakes they have made. Stay away from anything that reminds you of her. That also means stay away from her Facebook. Checking up her Facebook will only bring you more misery. I know because I also made that mistake. What I found was exactly what I had feared. Just stay away from things that remind you of her and focus on yourself now. Out of sight, out of mind. I know that this is easier said then done but you have to start somewhere. Best of luck.

I'm a nervous wreck today. I found out today she's been doing drugs for the past month. Mostly pot. Cocaine twice that I know of. I was tempted to say something to her about it, but I knew it wouldn't get me anywhere or accomplish anything so I'm maintaining NC. She recently was taken off pain killers for her back injury and I think she got addicted to feeling high. She was struggling with popping pills when we started dating, but was clean for over a year till her back injury. Now she can't get perscription drugs and the people she works with are mostly druggies. Now she's doing the illegal kind and pushing me away because of it. It's a choice between me and getting high and I've been all but let go completely for them.