Ask Me Help Desk - Met with ex

Quote:

the more i talk to her the more i see she really is not inlove with me or at least thats what my gut tells me and i just want that so bad i think im blind to everything else.

BLUE-your mind
RED-your heart

See where your mind and heart is conflicted, SOLUTION-No more Contact

Run away. I have no more advice to give. I can't offer any more explanations.

Yes... I know you'd like to be with her. You are not. Period.

Hanging around like this is only going to prolong the nonsense and keep you from moving on... and you really, really to move on here.

Some lessons need to be learned the hard way. You can hang and see what comes of it. I'm pretty sure all you are going to be left with are the same crappy feelings of confusion.

I have no agenda. Don't want to see you in a dark place. But here you are. She is not, by her own admission, interested in dating you.

She needs a shoulder and you are throwing it to her.

At some point when someone is going to walk all over you, you need to decide not to throw yourself under their boot.

So... I'm done. No more ranting. Your choice. No need to drag it out with a lot of discussion. Make a choice and live with it bud.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

run away. i have no more advice to give. i can't offer any more explanations.

yes... i know youd like to be with her. you are not. period.

hanging around like this is only going to prolong the nonsense and keep you from moving on... and you really, really to move on here.

some lessons need to be learned the hard way. you can hang and see what comes of it. im pretty sure all you are going to be left with are the same crappy feelings of confusion.

i have no agenda. dont want to see you in a dark place. but here you are. she is not, by her own admission, interested in dating you.

she needs a shoulder and you are throwing it to her.

at some point when someone is going to walk all over you, you need to decide not to throw yourself under their boot.

so... im done. no more ranting. your choice. no need to drag it out with a lot of discussion. make a choice and live with it bud.

Well thanks everyone after thinking long and hard and from reading all these comments. It's time to make a decision and I am not getting no were with her I know I want more and she doesn't. Personally I think she's already seeing someone she swares she's not but I just have that feeling. Because yesterday she said if one day you see me with another guy will you hit him. That came so far out of left field it wasn't funnt. And I can not sacrifice myself for her being depressed I'm really going to work on some distractions until I'm completely over her.

Hi Chris,

The advice you have received from KP and Tala is the best you will ever get in regards to your current situation, as well as other situations that may arise for you in the future. I would give greenies for the comments above mine but this reputation system does not allow me to keep giving them greenies??

I sincerily hope that you stick with the decision your making this time. I too did what you did until I could go on no further. Removing myself from the situation has brought me peace of mind and honestly I do not even think of her anymore. The point being that everyone here (especially Tala and Homegirl) told me what they told you and I, like you, went at it my own way. My posts look A lot like yours, I can tell you that had I listened to what they told me from the beginning I could have saved a lot of time and stress and heartache.

To everyone in these situations, the advice is meant to help, most who comment on your situation know much more about it than you do and know that an ex is an ex and no realgood comes from investing the time in trying to get them back. I tried to stayaway and failed, as did you, though this time you may succeed in letting it go like I did. You'll be sitting here like I am typing about how wonderful it is to not care nor wonder whatthey are doing, its sooooo nice to fall asleep thinking about football and summer and dare I say other girls. Kill the contact NOW or your on your own. Send her a message saying you don't think it wise to speak to her and perhaps in the future you can be friends, then leave it alone.

Hexes for Exes my man. Good luck with it all and I truly hope it ends soon for you, although that is up to you, not anyone else.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BMI

Hi Chris,

The advice you have received from KP and Tala is the best you will ever get in regards to your current situation, as well as other situations that may arise for you in the future. I would give greenies for the comments above mine but this reputation system does not allow me to keep giving them greenies?????

I sincerily hope that you stick with the decision your making this time. I too did what you did until I could go on no further. Removing myself from the situation has brought me peace of mind and honestly I do not even think of her anymore. The point being that everyone here (especially Tala and Homegirl) told me what they told you and I, like you, went at it my own way. My posts look ALOT like yours, I can tell you that had i listened to what they told me from the beginning I could have saved alot of time and stress and heartache.

To everyone in these situations, the advice is meant to help, most who comment on your situation know much more about it than you do and know that an ex is an ex and no realgood comes from investing the time in trying to get them back. I tried to stayaway and failed, as did you, though this time you may suceed in letting it go like I did. You'll be sitting here like i am typing about how wonderful it is to not care nor wonder whatthey are doing, its sooooo nice to fall asleep thinking about football and summer and dare i say other girls. Kill the contact NOW or your on your own. Send her a message saying you don't think it wise to speak to her and perhaps in the future you can be friends, then leave it alone.

Hexes for Exes my man. Good luck with it all and I truly hope it ends soon for you, although that is up to you, not anyone else.

WOw that's such a powerful remark, I'm lucky to get advice like this I have learned so much from this place healed so much now its more that I think to work on myself confidence and find someone who will accept me for me and not what they want me to be or use me. I guess the idea is think of different things...

It sucks when this happens.

Really. I know. Been there a couple of times.

I also know, in retrospect, the time I wasted thinking about an ex was never, ever worth it. It just stops you from finding happiness.

And unfortunately, you first need to go through some hell. Its like mourning a death. Sucks for a time. Until it doesn't.

Not that you should run out and try to find someone new... but when you do, and you will, you will forget about a lot of the bs...

Sure there's emotional baggage to get over, but that's life.

It wasn't evil for your ex to contact you. I think she is needy. But I really, really do not think that she is interested (her own words) in anything beyond your being her lap dog, there to comfort her.

Its OK she asked, and its really, really OK for you to say "no"...

I've had no less than three complete crash and burn, rip out your heart breakups. Its just no damn fun. But its worth getting over them. Cause it really is over.

So... sorry it sucks to be you. Been there. It'll get better.

Let yourself get a little pi$$ed at her. She needs you to make herself feel better, but doesn't need you enough to care about your needs. That's her line. Get mad. Be angry. It'll help for a time while you cut the ties.

Quote:

Originally Posted by kp2171

it sucks when this happens.

really. i know. been there a couple of times.

i also know, in retrospect, the time i wasted thinking about an ex was never, ever worth it. it just stops you from finding happiness.

and unfortunately, you first need to go through some hell. its like mourning a death. sucks for a time. until it doesnt.

not that you should run out and try to find someone new... but when you do, and you will, you will forget about a lot of the bs...

sure theres emotional baggage to get over, but thats life.

it wasnt evil for your ex to contact you. i think she is needy. but i really, really do not think that she is interested (her own words) in anything beyond your being her lap dog, there to comfort her.

its ok she asked, and its really, really ok for you to say "no"...

ive had no less than three complete crash and burn, rip out your heart breakups. its just no damn fun. but its worth getting over them. cause it really is over.

so... sorry it sucks to be you. been there. itll get better.

let yourself get a little pi$$ed at her. she needs you to make herself feel better, but doesnt need you enough to care about your needs. thats her line. get mad. be angry. itll help for a time while you cut the ties.

I really like ut way of thinking its very helpful and its helping me get through this keep it up and keep up the great advice thanks!!

I hope someday I can do the same and also say that I am now married!!

Thanks again!