Originally Posted by Craig80
Hey,
It feels kinda weird to come here for help and advice but you guys are my last hope.
I've already tried talking to my family and some friends but whatever answers and advice they've given me have been partial and I feel that I need you guys perspectives and views of it all.
Me (20 yrs old) and my girlfriend (18 yrs old) has been a couple for almost 8 months now and the first 6 months were almost perfect, I had been waiting to meet someone like her for a long time and I was really happy. I'm doing everything for her, I'm always the one calling, I'm the one taking the initiative to meet, I feel like I'm the one investing everything in our relationship, she just takes me for granted and goes along with the ride - having me whenever she wants but still studying last year and meeting friends etc. She's got nothing to lose if this ends, except for me.. if she even cares for me anymore..
Now I have a real serious problem here - we argue often about her partying, I'll try to make this short and easy to understand.
She told me in the beginning of our relationship that her past relationship ended 2 years ago because she cheated with another guy on a party.
The truth is she got so drunk she got "crazy" and slept with someone. Now this hurt me like hell to hear about (and still kills me btw..) but who am I to judge her for something that is of the past.
Anyway, this made me act in such a way that whenever she wanted to go out during the first months of our relationship I got sad, jealous and very very very worried that she would do the same thing to me - this made her take the decision to stay away from partying and getting drunk just because she loved me and didn't want to see me hurt.
Now the problem has escalated - She came clean to me 2 months ago saying that "I can't stand this anymore - I DO love getting drunk and yes, partying to me is getting very drunk, I'm not having fun otherwise, and I won't let your worrying stop me from going out, having fun and yes, even getting so drunk I can barely stand on my feet, cause it shouldn't bother you."
Now that stuff really hurt me - I mean.. when I know what she has done before, how can I ever trust her that she wont do it again?
The conditions are exactly the same - she parties every 1-3 weeks out of 4 and she loves to drink loads and go crazy.
I CAN have fun without drinking loads and I feel that my future girlfriend that I try to build a relationship with should AT LEAST have the decency and respect that she stays away doing the exact same thing she did last time she cheated, this is killing me, lately I have barely even been able to enjoy our relationship cause I'm worried SICK that it will happen again. It's like Russian roulette, 6 times out of 7 it's OK but what about that seventh time..? Whatever she tells me I know she's surrounded by guys in parties and on dance floors and to me, drinking so much that you can barely speak and almost passes out NEVER is healthy and can (and probably will sooner or later) lead to actions that aren't controllable and that will be regretted later on. (cheating etc.. maybe even getting physically hurt) :(
Some friends tell me to talk to her, some tell me to break up with her because it's a no-no and I WILL get hurt, what do you say?
All I can say is that last months I've been feeling more bad than good, and that can never be a good sign. Oh and now I feel so guilty for making this thread and asking for help and assistance.. should I feel that way or is it ok to ask for help? =/