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-   -   The break up.tell me! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=158511)

  • Dec 17, 2007, 09:54 AM
    mafiaangel180
    It's been two weeks since you broke up, and now there is another girl in the picture? That's not a good thing. I would give up on women for a while and work on you. Because there must be some sort of self-esteem issue going on that makes you turn to women like that. Seriously, go hang out with the guys or something.
  • Dec 17, 2007, 10:14 AM
    George_1950
    It seems to me that you should tell your new girlfriend everything about your prior relationship and where you think it might be headed; most importantly, where you would like for it to go.
  • Dec 17, 2007, 11:14 AM
    amandalee
    I'd be more concerned with the fact that you guys had just broke up AND she has had a boyfriend for 4 years prior?? How long were you with your ex for?

    I understand her need to figure herself out. When you are in long term relationships, sometimes that stuff falls to the back burner when you are so focused on someone else. Not necessarily a bad thing either way.

    Another thing to remember is that relationships that are on and off for some time usually don't work. Just experience talking here though.

    Not much advice, but I would say... stay single, figure yourself out and if it was meant to be, then it was meant to be.
  • Dec 17, 2007, 11:53 AM
    talaniman
    Ugh, Leave all these female completely alone. You are to confused to have a healthy relationship with anyone right now. Sorry, but I think your more afraid of being alone, than to be smart about the female your with/was with/are with. The new girl is right, you need a lot of time to figure yourself out, ALONE!

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2179895

    This is the whole story, to save confusion.
  • Mar 10, 2008, 06:58 AM
    mysteriousman
    The ex dilemmas!
    OK.
    I'm a 19yr old male from australia.

    So I've been apart from my ex for just over 3months.. and we haven't taken the orthodox approach. We hang out heaps, and we enjoy each others company, the last few weeks, we started hooking up again.. and I know it isn't good! But yeah.. it is good :p

    We have stopped talking for brief periods during the 3months, but then always, started talking again, which is, what has happened over the past 3yrs. She tells me "she feels so comfortable around me" and I've heard that she has told mutual friends, she's thought, maybe it was a bad idea we broke up.

    We broke up, because she had such a long relationship before us, but she needed time... ashe said if she wanted a boyfriend, it would be me.. im not sure if she said that, to let me down lightly or... but I don't think she's that kind of girl! Hmm..

    I personally think, deep deep down, she wants it too work, but then on the outside, she's convincing/telling herself, or reminding herself.. she doesn't want a boyfriend? Make sense?

    Ugh my heard hurts from it, to be honest.. ive been with a few girls since her, and I know when I'm with them, its not suppose to be like, what it was wit her, but it doesn't feel right with the others?

    Someone help me?
    :)
  • Mar 10, 2008, 09:34 AM
    SJB1701E
    I would make yourself a little less available. I wouldn't say cut her off right now though some people will, just don't always be there. Get her to chase you a little. When she calls be "too busy" to talk. Flirt with other girls and make sure she knows about it though anything more than flirting will hurt you. If she has no risk of losing you, she has no reason to get back together. You want her to earn you, not the other way around. You have to take control and make her chase you. Play hard to get.
  • Mar 10, 2008, 09:54 AM
    drnidz
    Is she busy in something? I mean studies or job ? If not then there is no reason to think like this I mean if she sees you as her future boyfriend then why not present... ask the reason
  • Mar 10, 2008, 11:01 AM
    Simple Asian
    this really is a tight situation... a girl always confused about their situation and don't no what to to... and when they do ? It either too late for us men to wait or that she will be scare that you won't forgive her for broking up at the first place...

    you spending time with her now which is good... but do you think that b.c of she still likes you or she think of you as a friend?. try to make yourself a little busy ^^ try to like just hang out with friends and be busy...

    if she likes you and desperated to hang out with you she will call and makes her move...

    she should be the one chasing you ^^ >... I am not saying play hard to get b.c it a dangerous game but just be easy a little ^^

    best wish
  • Mar 10, 2008, 12:48 PM
    wannabehappy
    You better let her knows that you won't be there forever! Let her think you just moved on, don't be always there.. dont call her, let she calls you! If she feels like she's the one for you, she will never make a real decision.
  • Mar 10, 2008, 04:23 PM
    mysteriousman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by drnidz
    is she busy in something? i mean studies or job ? if not then there is no reason to think like this i mean if she sees u as her future bf then why not present... ask the reason

    Yeah she just studied new studies in podiatry, I know she's very busy, 5 days a week.
  • Mar 10, 2008, 04:25 PM
    mysteriousman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Simple Asian
    this really is a tight situation ...a girl always confused about their situation and dont no what to to ...and when they do ? it either too late for us men to wait or that she will be scare that you wont forgive her for broking up at the first place ....

    you spending time with her now which is good ...but do you think that b.c of she still likes you or she think of you as a friend ? ..... try to make yourself a lil busy ^^ try to like just hang out with friends and be busy ...

    if she likes you and desperated to hang out with you she will call and makes her move....

    she should be the one chasing you ^^ >....i am not saying play hard to get b.c it a dangerous game but just be easy a lil ^^

    best wish

    Hey man, thanks for the answer..

    I stopped talking to her for a few weeks, then she'd contact me "where u been? i thought u died" and stuff like that.

    Then last weekend I invited her out Friday night, she came, and we hung out. Then I had a quiet night on Saturday, and invited her.. she declined because what happened Friday night, she then rang me, half an hour later, saying she was coming over. The same on Sunday!

    Ugh
  • Mar 10, 2008, 04:29 PM
    mysteriousman
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by SJB1701E
    I would make yourself a little less available. I wouldn't say cut her off right now though some people will, just dont always be there. Get her to chase you a little. When she calls be "too busy" to talk. Flirt with other girls and make sure she knows about it though anything more than flirting will hurt you. If she has no risk of losing you, she has no reason to get back together. You want her to earn you, not the other way around. You have to take control and make her chase you. Play hard to get.

    Ahha thanks, yeah I must say, I have been with a few girls since her, not in pure spite, but I thought I was over her, and was time to move on.. I think I was wrong.

    Because we use to work at the same place, she pretty much finds everything out, I'm not sure if it's a good thing or bad, but then when I see her, she'll ask 100 questions about the other girl, and I can see there's jealousy there.
  • Mar 12, 2008, 05:54 PM
    Simple Asian
    Quote:

    Quote:
    Originally Posted by Simple Asian
    this really is a tight situation... a girl always confused about their situation and don't no what to to... and when they do ? It either too late for us men to wait or that she will be scare that you won't forgive her for broking up at the first place...

    you spending time with her now which is good... but do you think that b.c of she still likes you or she think of you as a friend?. try to make yourself a little busy ^^ try to like just hang out with friends and be busy...

    if she likes you and desperated to hang out with you she will call and makes her move...

    she should be the one chasing you ^^ >... I am not saying play hard to get b.c it a dangerous game but just be easy a little ^^

    best wish


    hey man, thanks for the answer..

    I stopped talking to her for a few weeks, then she'd contact me "where u been? i thought u died" and stuff like that.

    then last weekend I invited her out Friday night, she came, and we hung out. Then I had a quiet night on Saturday, and invited her.. she declined because what happened Friday night, she then rang me, half an hour later, saying she was coming over. The same on Sunday!

    ugh
    ahhhhh man easy it

    don't call her b.c you bored... call your friend up... and hang out with them...

    if she call you... not that I say you should say no.. but you no let her go sometime just like be busy... you too easy to get...
  • Mar 16, 2008, 07:17 AM
    talaniman
    What part of hang out buddies, is it you don't understand? Comfortable, and available, and reliable. Disappear for a while, and she will be mad. Get another female, she will be mad. Send us a picture, so we can see what kind of collar and leash you have, as you are obviously very well trained. I know that was unfair, but she has total control, and you obey willingly. Fine for now, until she decides she wants something serious, and she takes you off the front porch, and locks you in the basement. You are way to attached to your friend, and need your own life, without her in it. You both are each others crutch.

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