You need to tell her that you have other plans and you won't be able to make it. Remember she is the one that wanted the space. Now she has it. Make plans with some friends for that same night, that way you won't be sitting around and thinking about it.

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Originally Posted by holeinheart21

You need to tell her that you have other plans and you won't be able to make it. Remember she is the one that wanted the space. Now she has it. Go ahead and make plans with some friends for that same night, that way you won't be sitting around and thinking about it.

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Good idea. It is a month or two away, so see how it is then. Most of my buddies will be there... wondering where I am! Its all about getting through this.

Update: after a week+ of nc, realised I don't really want my ex back. Enjoying the space. And finally getting things done in life. Weird, I wouldn't have expected this. A week ago I would hve bn all over the place. Sure you miss the good times, that's going to happen.. but really there's so many better things to get on with...

I think she is trying everything and will do anything for you to leave her alone,
So give her what she wants.. . Go to her house, demand your things and don't call-text
For a while and if she comes to you act the same way. Then she'll know what she missed out on. It will bother her and make her think about the situation if she's the one being hurt !
You don't need a MEAN girl anyway.. . Good Luck !

It sounds like you were being on the obsessive side. Constantly texting and emailing her when she has asked you for space. That is not space. But, I do believe you should be able to at least get your things back from her. And then leave her alone. Go out with friends. Don't contact her, let her contact you when she is ready, otherwise you are just giving her reasons to say you are being obsessive (and you are). If after about a month, she has not contacted you, go out on a date with someone else. Don't sit around begging her to come back. That is also obsessive. If she cares about you, she'll come back. If not, MOVE ON...

Update: things seem to be going fine so far, nearly be 2 weeks NC, no dramas or any of that...

A question though: she has told me that she will hang out with me and my friends at concerts or parties... my friends aren't really her friends but she usually will linger around... and I would rather she did not hang around. How would I go about making this clear to her without breaking NC?? Is it necessary to tell her?

Any ideas?

She dumped you and your still worried about how she feels?? Have your fun and say nothing to her, and when she sees you out and about be friendly, but be busy. You did say you don't want her back, so leave her alone after you get your stuff back.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

She dumped you and your still worried about how she feels??? Have your fun and say nothing to her, and when she sees you out and about be friendly, but be busy. You did say you don't want her back, so leave her alone after you get your stuff back.

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Yep.

But, we still have groups in common... I don't think I am prepared to be around when she tries sliding in with one of my buddies. Yet in some situations (ie. Certain birthday parties, local shows) it is unavoidable?

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Originally Posted by hanschaos

yep.

but, we still have groups in common...i don't think i am prepared to be around when she tries sliding in with one of my buddies. yet in some situations (ie. certain bday parties, local shows) it is unavoidable?

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She already is, my experience says she blew you off because she has someone else in mind but keeps you on the line in case it doesn't happen.

Best bet, blow her off and avoid all places that she will be.

Could be time to expand your horizons a bit.

I agree with LivingtheLifeinFLA, I think she is stringing you along so that she has a backup person in case whoever she likes doesn't return the sentament. Get away from her dude, she is bad news. This is coming from a girl's perspective. Trust me, get out there and get a date with someone else. Have fun and try not to compare. If you run into your old girlfriend, oh well, but don't go looking for her. Maybe try a new hangout place with your friends?

Thanks for all the advice. Only been a bit over two weeks... we'll see how the rest of this unfolds. Will keep you all updated!

Well this is just another set back for me. I never seem to learn my lesson. I contact her regarding an item she has of mine. She contacts me saying she can't find my stuff... which just made me angry... which lead to more of a text battle, me saying that she's ignored me for ages and that she is being difficult. She decides to not reply. And I continue ranting. Which eventually leads to me apologizing. Pathetic. So I am back to day 0 and its bothering me...

If you learned something, it was woth it. Now that she can't find your stuff, you have no reason to contact her, but be aware if she finds it, she won't hesitate to let you know.

Yup, sure did learn something. However starting from day 1 sucks bad... not AS bad as the first time around but pretty bad. It is possible to do nc (did it for a month, got easier and easier)... unfortunate situation this time around.. but here goes again!