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Ok so this is in my opinion dump him! You don't need someone who's telling you things that will hurt you and besides obviously he doesn't like you for who you are and you don't need someone like that! So all I'm saying is you should DUMP HIM! You don't need him! :)
Any man who humiliates you in front of his friends is not a keeper. He is a jerk for telling you to lose weight you gained through medication for his fun, That's the pits and you deserve better. Next you'll need a nose job and learn to make wine from grapes? Save yourself the trouble as there are nice understanding mature guys out there who will treat you much better.
Need to spread the rep. but my man talaniman is right on
If you really do want to lose weight for yourself then do it- but do not do it for him.
Eat a very small breakfast and do not eat lunch- just furit and veggies are the only thing you can eat for snacks.
THen for dinner eat a HUGE salad- put cheese, meat dressing, egg, whatever you want on it, pile it high- spinich, the whole works.
And I promise you WILL lose about 3 to 4 pounds a week.
Also, You should listen to Abraham Hicks, she will give you your power back, you can watch some videos of her on YouTube.
Hugs,
Anna
Eura I have to greatly disagree with one of your previous posts where you said your sex life would suffer if your girl gained some weight. I'm 5'7 and I weigh in at 185 pounds. I really don't look it if I have on baggy clothes but anything night you can see my huge a$$ belly, and according to a chart at my doctors office, I'm overweight for my size. HOWEVER me and my boyfriend have GREAT sex! We really do! He is 135, I am 50 pounds more then him!! It's I'm on top he's on top! We even do kinky stuff like whips and handcuffs! So no weight does not effect a couples sex life unless it is greatly excessive! Even then the girl can just be on bottom all the time, or you can do things to spice up the sex life. My boyfriend is always trying to tell me I'm not overweight, fat, or even chubby! He finds me very attractive and has talked about proposing.
Second thing, sex shouldn't be the first thing on your mind in a relationship either! Yes a relationship will more then likely not work if it is JUST about love, just like it won't work if it's JUST about sex. Her boyfriend needs to look at her and see the beauty inside her rather then the outside before anything and think first "Do I love this woman? Is she someone I can spend forever with?" NOT "Am I constently going to be teased because my woman looks a bit big? What will everyone say if she looks bad at our wedding?"
A man should look at his woman and think about what he sees and feels first NOT about what others see or feel about her, same goes with a girl looking at her guy. This guy may love KayH... but to degrade a woman that he loves shows that his commitment may be on edge. He has disrespected her whether he knows it or not, he was insensitive to her feelings. Is this grounds to break up? Yes! But is it also something that can be worked out? This is also a yes. In this situation there really is no real yes or no to breaking up.
KayH, here's what I think you should do. Approach him, as I previously said in my first posts, and tell him how you feel about this issue. Ask him is this for me or you? And tell him I'm not going to lose the weight just because of your friends. Do you like me how I am or not? If it really seems that he can't deal with the issue of your weight, and you are happy with how you are, then tell him deal with my body or I'm gone. This realization may change his tune and it may not. You should NEVER change yourself perminately for someone else. It is more important for you to be happy with yourself, not for others to be happy with yourself.
I'm not saying leave him and I'm not saying stay with him, it's your pick on if you think you can deal with him.
Not telling anyone what to do, but if love depends on how you look, what about the life changing events, such as preganancy, illness or injury that can change the body? Would you want a partner you knew would be there through thick and thin? Or someone who rejects you cause your body has changed due to things you cannot control? Lose this loser now, and save the misery and pain he will bring later. OOPs, I guess I am telling someone what to do! No apology though.
IMO there is no need for apology here at all. She took the depo because he probably did not want to take responsibility in contraception. She gained weight because of this. Now it is again her responsibility to 'look good' for him. He is an egotistical jerk. How about him taking contraception or getting his tubes cut if he does not want children... Oh, but then he would not be a 'real man'... and as we all know - it's always the woman's responsibility to make a man feel good, look good, and be happy, right??Quote:
Originally Posted by talaniman
A relationship is a two-way street, with both caring and sharing responsibility and if he can't give in a little - then he should not 'get any' from her anymore either. She deserves better and I hope she realizes this before she invests any more time and valuable emotions on him. So... Amen, Tal, you said it and you are right!
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Im still going to disagree, but only because he got with her when she was bigger to begin with. If weight really was the issue, I don't think he would have gotten with her and stayed with her for as long as he did.
I just think her boyfriend is going about it the wrong way. If my girlfriend was getting big, I'd get on her case in a second. And at first read, you might think I sound like a pig. But it's because she has a form of diabetes where too much weight makes it 10 times worse. I'm just not sure that we have the whole story, hearing it from her side alone.
The only thing I disagree with, is his delivery. I mean, did he really give an ultamadem (sp?) that she has to lose weight, or else he won't marry her? Whoa... way over the line. Did he make fun of her in front of his friends? I didn't see that typed anywhere, but maybe I missed it, in which case that's definitely a no-no. If he can't respect her publicly, then yes she needs to get rid of him.
But I'll admit, I don't feel 100% about my answer. I just feel like there's more to the story, and I want to give him the benefit of the doubt that I have.
There is more to every story in life - and yes, there are always two sides... but we are only seeing one here. And to me, he is not marriage material for her at all, sorry to say.Quote:
Originally Posted by EuRa
http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gifWhy? because she's not happy... and deserves to be.
Yeah well if this is true, then I agree. If everyday she's miserable, or even once or twice a week just agonizing over this, I agree.Quote:
Originally Posted by Chery
But if it's only been 1-2 discussions and/or 1-2 fights, I don't think all is lost. I'm not saying for her to lose weight or anything, just... I don't know. I don't want to give up. :<
I understand where you are coming from, you hope for the best... and we humans never give up as this is part of our nature.Quote:
Originally Posted by EuRa
But at my age, I expect the worst, and get surprised if it turns out better than I expected.
Hope is a good thing and we all need it - but don't place any large bets
Wishing All The Best!
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I have the same problem hunny. I gained about 30 lbs after we had our son, and I'm only now (20 months later) starting to do something about it, because like EuRa said, our relationship , sex life in particular, is suffering. It will make the both of us happy, I don't like being overweight anyway. So, I'm going to be the first to suggest: Lose the weigh. You'll be happier too :)
This thread is over two years old. I think the OP has probably resolved this issue.
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