Ask Me Help Desk - What is the reason?

Quote:

Originally Posted by chuff

"The Lake House agrees: Probably. well, I am complaining now,lol. I will get over with it, thank you, Chuff."

I don't want to come across as saying you should never complain or stand up for yourself. Nor do I not want you to ask questions so that you can move forward with some knowledge that will help you in the future. Complain away, just do it in a positive way and with an open mind that helps you understand some things from a different perspective. Most everybody thinks they are right all of the time. It's those that stop and say "hmmm what could I improve on here" or "what am I doing wrong" that move forward with a better understanding of who they are and how to behave in certain situations that will help them the next time it happens. It also gives them a positive mental attitude towards dealing with the sting of loss which is all I'd want for anybody.

Thank you, you are a nice man. :) I look forward to learning from all of you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lake House

Why a man likes a nurse

I think being a nurse is a respectable and important occupation.

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

who had kids when she was 16

If she's in her thirties, I don't think you can hold it against her for her making a few mistakes when she was 16... :s

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

divored twice in her life

What were her reasons for being divorced? Maybe she made the right decision in getting two divorces? I don't know the details here. That's too vague.

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

with an average looking (34 yrs old)

You know this: as the saying goes, looks aren't everything!

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

instead of a Top MBA graduate

That's good for you, but maybe that wasn't on his check list. Maybe he doesn't mind if a girl is a nurse. Most people don't see this as a downer you know!

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

pure(a virgin)

Perhaps he doesn't view virgins as "better" than non-virgins. You seem to value this greatly, which is respectable. But know that while he probably respects that you're a virgin, he most likely equally respects a woman who chooses not to be.

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

beautiful

This won't win a man's "heart".

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

humble

You mentioned being beautiful and that you make six figures ;)
Being humble is a great asset. He probably sees this as a great characteristic too, but there are a million ingredients that make two people click. And this ingredient will be something that your future man will admire about you.

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Originally Posted by The Lake House

intelligent

That's great! You need to keep a good head on your shoulders. And because you're a smart woman, you will move on. You'll go to someone who loves you and shares some of the great values you have (in terms of education, and waiting for the right guy).

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lake House

who is making 6 figures @ the age of 28?

Very impressive! But there are many more factors involved in creating a relationship. You will find someone to compliment you and who will love all these things you listed, but this man is looking for something else.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lake House

Do you think being too independent is a bad thing for women?

Sorry, I just want to say that I am very happy about what I have got. There is really nothing to complain about in my life. He thought that was wierd not to complain about anything. I don't understand that part.

P.S. I didn't mention my work and achievement around him(I figured he must have known that), and I knew that would be a turn off.

Being independent and happy is great, BUT it isn't if you get this way through belittling other people. For example, a woman who is a nurse is just as worthy of respect as a woman who is a laywer or doctor or a 28 year old who makes 6 figures. Also, she may be just as happy and strong.

SS, you are reading between the lines and take it offensive.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lake House

Why a man likes a nurse who had kids when she was 16, divored twice in her life with an average looking (34 yrs old)
instead of
a Top MBA graduate, pure(a virgin), beautiful, humble,intelligent who is making 6 figures @ the age of 28? (28 yr old)

Why??

The man is a pilot at his age of 30.

Anyone please??

Maybe because she has experienced more real life and understands that it's not about an education or looks but more about what's on the inside that counts??

I deeply understand how important ones' inside count.
You misunderstanded my point, I am a very kind person, many people have told me I am the nicest person.

If I am someone who has no soul why would everyone blames on his choice on the older nurse?
Everyone (his family, friends, coworkers) likes me and wants him to be with me instead of someone who is not an ideal person.

You could be the nicest person. You could be a VERY kind person. 'Everyone' could like you and prefer that he be with you. However, it sounds like he has a bond with her that you and he don't have. You asked for possible reasons and I gave you some. I never said that you had no soul. I never said you weren't kind or nice.

Now, that being said, how about you re-read your original question? It SOUNDS like you were comparing her to yourself. In doing so, your comparisons seemed to be:

She had kids when she was 16/You are a top MBA graduate (thus implying that a person who had kids at the age of 16, and probably uneducated) is less than you, who is a top MBA graduate)

She was divored twice in her life/You are a virgin (thus implying that someone who is divorced is beneath a virgin)

She is average looking and 34/You are beautiful, humble,intelligent who is making 6 figures @ the age of 28 (thus implying 1. that someone younger and more beautiful would be more suitable to love than an average looking person who was a few years older; 2. that an average looking woman could not be intelligent (or was it that someone who had kids at 16, who had been divorced and who was average looking could not be intelligent?); and 3. that a humble person is someone that tells people they are a top MBA graduate, a virgin, beautiful, humble, intelligent and making six figures at the age of 28 thus cannot understand how a man could prefer someone less than that to her?

The fact is, if you love this guy you would be happy that he found someone that HE loves. It matters not who his family, friends, associates think is the best woman for him. What matters is who he feels love for. If she is not abusive and doesn't cheat on him then all of you should accept it and be happy for him.

Again,. just my opinion from the peanut gallery.

Hugs, Didi

Hmm... nicespringgirl stops posting and this new moniker appears...
The similarities are striking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lake House

I deeply understand how important ones' inside count.
You misunderstanded my point, I am a very kind person, many ppl have told me I am the nicest person.

I think you are minunderstanding some points that others have made. Everyone acknowledges these great characteristics about you. BUT some people are trying to point something else out for you to solve this mystery:

You could be the nicest person in the world, and people could think you are the "nicest person" as you have said, and you could be happy, and you could be successful and pretty, BUT this does not mean that this particular man will want you.

I'll show you why:

You're confused as to how you being happy, nice, beautiful, educated, rich, etc, is not getting you this man, while the other girl only has average looks, is a nurse, etc.

Sorry, but those are not all the ingredients that would bag him. Otherwise, wouldn't every single male on earth be yours? See the logic here? So even though those things are great, those aren't all the things that would get a man. You don't have something else that he's looking for, but be sure that other men, or the man that you'll end up marrying, will find you "just right".

Oh, and also... what makes her "not an ideal person"?? I don't understand. Is it because she's a nurse??

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Lake House

If I am someone who has no soul why would everyone blames on his choice on the older nurse?
Everyone (his family, friends, coworkers) likes me and wants him to be with me instead of someone who is not an ideal person.

Why would she not be ideal for him? She must be (at least he must think so) if he takes an interest in her.

I don't want to say much about her.
She goes to church with us, we helped her with her kids before. She flirts with many men, and we all know that her ex husband divorced her because she had an affair.
She is not well educated and I would call her a bad woman.
She might know how to seduce a man though

I am simply stating her occupation that's all. A nurse is a polite way to call her. I could just come up with a loser, a hoe, how does that sound people?

It sounds like you are hurt, and lashing out. It also sounds like you have a LOT to learn despite your education, job and salary.

I am serious, she is not a good woman.

Perhaps he sees something in this woman that you don't see. You are looking at the surface and uderneath this woman could lie a jewel that he likes.
Don't sweat it. He is just not the one for you.

Please don't envy people who is doing better than you are.
Grow up with it.

You can say anything you want to hurt others, to be little others.

My life doesn't come easily, it requires so much that you guys can't handle.

I can, so go ahead hate me.

Perhaps he sees something in this woman that you don't see. You are looking at the surface and uderneath this woman could lie a jewel that he likes.
Don't sweat it. He is just not the one for you.

Please don't envy people who is doing better than you are.
Grow up with it.

You can say anything you want to hurt others, to be little others.

My life doesn't come easily, it requires so much that you guys can't handle.

I can, so go ahead hate me.