Don't be a doormat for him. NC tell him to leave you alone. He wanted out so let him lie in his own mess. Dumpees often come out on top :)

IF you love him you will let him go and work on his issues without having to worry about you. The only way that wall can be broken down is for him to break it... or to fall in love.

I actually think that you are kind of unrealistic to think that you can be the one to 'cure' him. If a person is going to fall in love, they will do it whether their heart is broken or not. If you go into a relationship wanting to 'fix' them, it will never be a loving, permanent (or even long term) relationship based upon loving someone for who they are.

Just my opinion...

Didi

5 years into a relationship with an emotionally numb man... it still doesn't get any better no longer how long you wait.

People who are emotionally numb have been hurt very badly in the past. These individuals are usually very sensitive, caring and understanding. Because of this, the feel emotion intensly. It is, for them, harder to survive hurt. They do not want to feel any more so they go numb. It is better than dealing with the intense pain they feel. Going numb is the minds and yes the hearts way of coping, surviving. It is such a shame to see a human being in this negative, emotional state. The only way to deal with this is to address the emotions, the feelings, the thoughts that made the individual not want to feel anymore. One must address the past painful experience, work through it, acknowledge what has happened, how it made you feel etc. only then can can one truly learn to trust and feel the love we all deserve. Please do not use drink,drugs, sex etc to numb these deep rooted negative feelings further. They will surface again once the distraction, or drugs alcohol etc has worn off. To feel is to know you are alive. You miss out on so much when you are anaesthetised, numb. Don't let life pass you by... feel! It will be OK to do so no matter what has to be addressed. Feel and work through it. It will be o.k. you will be stronger and wiser for the next emotional experience. Hey who ever said life was going to be easy. But it is for living and feeling. You can do it! NORA