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-   -   Girlfriend wants a break, unsure of terms. (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=129959)

  • Oct 7, 2007, 02:26 PM
    underthegun
    Staying Strong!

    I had another close call just last night (night 7 of me not contacting her)- she texted me saying that she "swears it'll be the last time she contacts me w/o me initiating it, but she REALLY wants to talk to me when I'm ready." Then about 2-3 hours later, she calls twice, not leaving a message. Talk about tough to 'ignore'... I thought that it is usually the breakEE that is hanging on by a thread, trying to 'push' the breaker? I mean, I guess I'm happy that its this way, I feel like I have a little more self control, but...

    If she did really want to start again, etc- she'd probably just say it straight up in a message or something, right? Its just so hard to understand where she's coming from/what her (true) intentions are.

    Cerulean, thanks for your good, sound advice.
    I will probably be dating other girls in a month or so, I should probably 'hang out' with them more than I do now too though.


    Any suggestions?
    Is this just a freak-out thought by me or is it possible she really wants to talk something out/re-start slowly?
  • Oct 9, 2007, 03:09 PM
    underthegun
    Day 9

    Well, upon several more calls and plees from the 'ex', I texted her saying
    "what else is there to talk about? (you've made your feelings clear)"
    She said she really needed to talk to me, etc. So I said she may call.

    It was awkward, obviously. I tried to show that I was doing just fine, yet I was somewhat cold and short with her. She said that she was 'sorry' and so on and so forth. I asked what she wanted. She said she's been at home w/ her parents, and her mom has even been telling her that she's been heartless to everyone, even her dog; thus she knew something was wrong. She claims that she's out of balance right now, and really apologizes for getting all of her feelings messed up with us.

    I took this all in nice and slow, proceeding with caution. I asked what she proposed- she said she would like to give us another try. I cautiously continued. I asked what her motivation for this was- loneliness, or did she realllllly love/want me. She said in all honesty, both. We continued on with this a little bit...

    We ended with me saying there are no guarantees, and that she does not understand the hell she put me through in the past coupla weeks. So, I suggested that we both write down, organizing are thoughts on paper of what went wrong, why this stuff went wrong, and what changes would need to be made if we were to give it another shot. I told her to call me in a few days and then maybe we can meet or something to discuss...


    What do YOU guys think??
    How did I handle this?
    How should I have handled this?

    I'm still proceeding with caution.
    The hardest part for me I think is to see her for what she is VS her potential (usually what I do with people).
  • Oct 10, 2007, 01:56 PM
    underthegun
    No comments?
  • Oct 10, 2007, 04:21 PM
    mckenzie134
    Good work take her back and keep her on a string. Don't see her to often at the moment and stay busy.
  • Oct 10, 2007, 05:09 PM
    talaniman
    I think your trying your best to prolong the agony.
  • Oct 10, 2007, 05:33 PM
    Homegirl 50
    You both are in pain. Ending a relationship can be hard. I think this one is over an neither of you want to be the first to say "OK it's over" I suggest you do it, and tell her not to contact you anymore. Wish her happiness and success and be done with it.
  • Oct 11, 2007, 04:55 AM
    smoothy
    If she wants a break.. then leave her for good. You can't make anyone want you. And if they don't want you then you don't want or need them. Crying about it only makes you look and feel like a wuss. Count your blessings you aren't married or have kids. Use this experience to weed out other women like her so you can find a better one next time.

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