Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   I ignored his calls. He sent me roses (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=129009)

  • Sep 13, 2007, 10:10 PM
    MissingHim2Much
    Hey Mac, why the hell are you so pissed off at her? She has done nothing to you. Hey I'm sorry you've been treated so bad in your relationships but if she takes him back or not I can't see how that would effect you in any way, shape or form.
  • Sep 13, 2007, 10:18 PM
    mckenzie134
    Just giving my opinion ithought that's what she wanted.

    She is on here asking for advice to a question which she already has the answer too...

    She is taking him back and she already has most likely...

    Not enough love in the world to take back a guy who has be bending over the town HO
    !! What is everyoine going to think of her now!! Just giving my input you and her can take it whichever way you like. She will be back with him in a week and probably back on here within 4 months complaining or maybe infected with some ho virus!!

    Glad I could be of assistance in this case!!

    Im still waiting to hear what the result of this is what was the outcome? Please advicse us all DJ thanks...
  • Sep 13, 2007, 10:31 PM
    MissingHim2Much
    Look mac, you have a right to your opinion, that being said I think you're taking this a little bit personally, She hasn't even said she was going to forgive him and take him back. She was just relaying what had happened with the roses. But I think if you look back at some other peoples posts that in most cases they are very hurt in the beginning and they all wanted their ex's back at first. It takes time to be strong enough to say no to the person you love and have shared many years with. It has nothing to do with backbone it is just raw emotions talking and I think pretty much all of us have been there. And if you didn't feel that way in the first few weeks then maybe you weren't in love with that person to begin with.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 05:02 AM
    DJ1963_
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by mckenzie134
    Just giving my opinion ithought thats what she wanted.

    She is on here asking for advice to a question which she already has the answer too....

    She is taking him back and she already has most likely...

    Not enough love in the world to take back a guy who has be bending over the town HO
    !!! What is everyoine going to think of her now!!! Just giving my input you and her can take it whichever way you like. She will be back with him in a week and probly back on here within 4 months complaining or maybe infected with some ho virus!!!!!!

    Glad i could be of assistance in this case!!!!

    Im still waiting to hear what the result of this is what was the outcome?? Please advicse us all DJ thanks...

    Mckenzie, for your information I haven't had any contact with my ex. I haven't answered his calls or responded to the roses or the purposal. I can see that you are sure fired up about it though. It almost seems as though your heart is on the line here instead of mine. I haven't even came close to forgiving him for "Bending over the town HO" as you so tastefully put it. And as for saying I should invite her over so he could bend us both was a FUK'd up thing to say. IF and I say IF I take him back that's my call and not yours. And yes I did come here to ask advice, BUT I asked advice from relationship experts, NOT YOU!! If I ever need advice on how to hate women you will be the first one I call. After all aren't you the President of the He Man Women Haters Club? One more thing if you hate women so much have you ever considered the fact that you may be GAY?
  • Sep 14, 2007, 06:25 AM
    GlindaofOz
    What is going on here? These posts do not sound like you at all mckenzie. This is beyond crude and extremely inappropriate.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 06:43 AM
    Homegirl 50
    Sounds like somebody is having a bad day.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 12:18 PM
    DJ1963_
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    What is going on here? These posts do not sound like you at all mckenzie. This is beyond crude and extremely inappropriate.

    I agree GlindaofOz, I'm not sure what set him off here. But I don't think I deserve his rude comments.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 12:26 PM
    GlindaofOz
    Heck no Honey! You sure do not.

    Without a doubt you never said you were going to go crawling back. You clearly just needed to get some perspective with the help of other people - nothing wrong with that.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 12:40 PM
    DJ1963_
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    Heck no Honey! You sure do not.

    Without a doubt you never said you were going to go crawling back. you clearly just needed to get some perspective with the help of other people - nothing wrong with that.

    Thank you GlindaofOz, I don't think I could ever take him back. I just want to know how do I forget what a great 5 years we had? I know his betrayal is a good start but all I can seem to remember is how great we were and how happy I was. The good seems to over shadow the bad.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 12:47 PM
    GlindaofOz
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DJ1963_
    Thank you GlindaofOz, I don't think I could ever take him back. I just want to know how do I forget what a great 5 years we had? I know his betrayal is a good start but all I can seem to remember is how great we were and how happy I was. The good seems to over shadow the bad.


    To be honest fixate on the bad. Fixate on how he left you for some seriously sketchy girl and was willing to throw away everything good, wonderful and loving he had with you for some nookie. Anytime you float back to some lovely moment let the image of him kicking you to the curb for the "town bicycle" ;)

    Remember you deserve someone who would not throw away 5 years for a mistake. Remember that you are a great person who has lots of love in them and deserve someone who won't run out of steam.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 12:51 PM
    DJ1963_
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by GlindaofOz
    To be honest fixate on the bad. Fixate on how he left you for some seriously sketchy girl and was willing to throw away everything good, wonderful and loving he had with you for some nookie. Anytime you float back to some lovely moment let the image of him kicking you to the curb for the "town bicycle" ;)

    Remember you deserve someone who would not throw away 5 years for a mistake. Remember that you are a great person who has lots of love in them and deserve someone who won't run out of steam.

    See GlindaofOz that's the kind of expert advice I came here for. Not the crude comments of a jaded person that only seems to be here to make people in pain feel bad about themselves Thank You!
  • Sep 14, 2007, 12:55 PM
    GlindaofOz
    No problem. Glad to help.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 12:58 PM
    Ash123

    My take on it is this: IF you all were soulmates, it would be done in a conversation. A request to talk. A connection that was adult-like and meaningful. The flowers are super-cool and very romantic - but he's NOT THERE....sort of metaphorical huh?


    You are empty-handed.

    So, if you were to say yes, how long would it take you to forgive him?
    Could you?
    Is him running off with someone else really worth it to you still?
    If so, maybe a conversation is in order. Or at least a letter from him.

    But roses, smell good for a week and then they...die.

    Is there life left in you?
    If so, and you can forgive, see what he'll do next. He will do something.
    If not, a polite: "it's too late for roses" is probably in order.

    Sounds like you still love him in some way, but pretty disenchanted. And rightfully so!!
    I know this is all real tough.


    Hang in there!
  • Sep 14, 2007, 01:45 PM
    vivia12
    What comes around goes around comes around goes around..
    I'm waiting for the same thin gto happen to my ex, hope he gets dumped!
  • Sep 14, 2007, 01:46 PM
    rol
    Good for you DJ for sticking to no contact..

    A friend of mine was in a similar sitution recently after 6 year relationship, he began sleeping around and suddenly when she quit the contact he started saying he wanted to marry her.In fact she got an investigator and it turned out he was still sleeping around with a different girl every night...

    She continued with no contact and blocked his phone calls , changed email , moved country..

    So please keep no contact... he will repeat the same.

    You need time to heal, he needs time to repair himself.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 05:42 PM
    Ash123

    If he sent roses, he ain't done.


    Sit back and really weigh this, now that you are in the driver's seat.
    If I dumped a girl and I wanted her back for life I would do more than roses...

    In my experience, all ex's come back if you treated them well and did a few "other things"
    This is 100% predictable. The issue is YOU now... Can you love and trust him? I'd take many months to sort that one out.
  • Sep 14, 2007, 07:58 PM
    mckenzie134
    Most exs cirlce back there was only a matter of time till he came to his senses. Obviously you are a wonderful irl who treated him well and he has taken you for granted. This happens when a guy is in a great relationship and no doubt he loved you but because he was so comfortable he falls into the thoughts of well I might give that a go as well. He then realises what he has given up because he no longer has it. Most humans are the same and this is the reason exs return, they did not leave a relationship they were unhappy with they left one because they were comfortable. Instead of using his brain and telling himself I have a great relationship I have been in for a while, of ourse the excitement is not going to be as high as when you guys first met but he needs to understand he has a great relatioinship. Problem is to many people don't think realistically and they think excitement and new HELL everyone likes to test drive a new car but if you already havea great one why not stop for a sec and ralisie what you are driving before you jump behind the wheel of a new one and then realise it drives pretty much the same as the old one and then aftera few test drives it lso starts to have a few fsulta and then you realise the old car with the added extras is all that you needed to be happy so you run back to the old car and realise the doors ate locked and sometimes it has a new owner. You try to get it back but its not happy you abandoned it for another. So then you want it back even more, you call the locksmith you read the manual anything to get the car back!!

    He obviously realised the new one was no different but exciting to begin with but in life you want a lasting one and I suppose that's where he realises like many exs do once the excitement dies down they want to return to comfortable because they wernt thinking with there head they were just thinking theyy want something new...

    It's the ones who can think beyond this ppoint and have great values and beliefs who know what they have in the first place who hold onto what they have to begin with...

    I know he wants you back there is no doubt of this and let me tell you the roses are not the enfof this he will try more and more and in the end you will give it another go. Probably. 5 years is a longtime you say well he didn't think it was worth it when he left did he??

    Your problem is at the moment you are feeling alone and ot as happy as you were when you were in the relationship but now you are on your own the world is looking differently you are thinking maybe I can just go back to what I new before. Maybe you can but will you be happy, what if you found someone else who would stick by you forever wouldn't that be a great life wouldn't hat be someone you can grow with someone you can trust someone you can grow old with and not resent for what they have done.

    Its your choice and you may try I'm again, it may work I may not. I know one thing if you went out tomorrow and met an amazing guy and started seeing him you would wonder why you even thougt about letting the ex back but we all know it isn't that easy but its a lot easier to just go back to the reliable one...
  • Sep 14, 2007, 09:40 PM
    imissyou
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by DJ1963
    hi everyone, My ex left me a little over a month ago and I found out he was seeing this sluttish girl. Well I found out last week he moved in with her about 3-4 weeks ago. 2 days ago he started calling me. I didn't answer the phone so today I got a dozen roses delivered and on the card it read, I'm sorry for the mistakes i've made, being with her, living with her and breaking your heart. I love you so much but didn't realise it then. Please forgive me, and Please marry me.

    All I have to say about that is: HOLEY CRAP!!
  • Sep 14, 2007, 09:55 PM
    MissingHim2Much
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Ash123

    If he sent roses, he ain't done.


    Sit back and really weigh this, now that you are in the driver's seat.
    If I dumped a girl and I wanted her back for life I would do more than roses....

    In my experience, all ex's come back if you treated them well and did a few "other things"
    This is 100% predictable. The issue is YOU now....Can you love and trust him? I'd take many months to sort that one out.


    Very excellent advice Ash. I agree 100%
  • Sep 14, 2007, 11:29 PM
    Cher13
    First of all, good job with not answering his calls, that must have been tough... I think there's 2 ways to look at this... One, he's being honest and truly loves you and maybe he realized how much he wants you in his life and he made a mistake, or Two, things with the "slut" didn't work out or wasn't as good as he thought it would be and is trying to crawl back until the next "slut" comes alone, either way you should really think about what you want and if your willing to trust him again.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:15 AM.