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Women are the best wingman for men hands down.

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I have to agree.

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Originally Posted by where did i go wrong

yeah it sounds simple, but yeah...
ive turned into this self-concious, socially awkward loser, i hate it... i go out till sunrise every weekend, but by the time ive had enough to drink to have the confidence to go up to women, im so drunk that they think im a total idiot...
ill give it a try tho...

i dunno if those questions are really worth answering. i dont really care about her at all, she is no longer the problem. this is about healing me...

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Man,

Alcohol is not the solution here... FORGET THE BAR... You need girls as friends...
Not conquests... Just socialize - even if a work or hobby related thing.

If you are a good guy they will set you up. Trying to go to a bar
And becoming Don Johnson (an 80's reference that may be lost on you but not to worry)
Is a waste of time. You are fixated on this girl because she represents all women now... That is probably why she left. She needs to be part of your life - not all of it.

Keep me updated.. baby steps... but some kind of steps...

Make friends and be a good guy, have fun and others will have fun also. Be happy and females love happy guys. Get invited, and meet new people. Say hi to that cute teller at your bank. Do you have any idea how many female are out there just waiting for a good guy?? Boggles the mind. Go get a couple.

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Originally Posted by GlindaofOz

this is so common after a break up Believe me you are not alone (just go through the dating forums!!). Everyone has good days and then a bad day. Sometimes you are feeling awesome and hey i never needed that person anyway then you hear a song or something reminds you of them and bam you feel like you are back at square one. we have all been there and man is it rotten.

keep going no contact that is the only path to healing. just keep plugging along it will eventually get easier and in no time you will be able to look back on the relationship fondly but without the emotional attachment.

Are you finding other things to do? Have you tossed yourself into hobbies, friends and family? I always find thats the best after a breakup. I would just completely get absorbed so that I would have no time to think about him. I even started a ton of new hobbies and began dating again - that was actually a big helper it made me see there are other people out there and I will find someone else.

good luck to you!

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Will no contact work to help me heal and get over my ex if I'm just using it as a form of revenge against her? Will no contact work if I don't keep myself busy and I just sit there twiddling my thumbs all day thinking about her? I've been in no contact mode for the last 25 days.

pointoflight, Will no contact work to help me heal and get over my ex if I'm just using it as a form of revenge against her?
Sure it will, but you wont be happy as revenge tends to backfire on us.
Will no contact work if I don't keep myself busy and I just sit there twiddling my thumbs all day thinking about her?
Yes it will but it may take forever.
I've been in no contact mode for the last 25 days
One day at a time.

Sooner or later you'll get sick and tired of being miserable, and decide to help yourself get healthy and happy. Your choice.

Well all I can say is, your not alone. And mine lives 8 houses down the street. Advice for you? Work and zanax. The work will keep you busy and the zanax will at least let you get some sleep.

Women... Can't live with 'em. Can't shoot 'em.

I totally hear you. I'm on month 3 of my ex and I identify with the good days and bad, ACTUALLY sometimes I have good hours and half days and then POP! Here she comes. I have been on the no contact program for about 2 months and it is really hard, but any communication may open up fresh wounds. We liketo think everything will be fine aftera couple ofmonths but it may just reset the clock andyou may be dealing with things even worse by now.

Basically it REALLY SUCKS, but your not alone.