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-   -   Am I being selfish? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=107715)

  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:50 PM
    Shaunta
    I hate this... I know I need to make friends... do you think if we lived together I wouldn't be like this? I ask him to move in with me but he says I would be way worse then what I am now... I think if we lived together I wouldn't care as much because I know he would be coming home to me... I would probably get sick of seeing him and telll him to go and be with his people
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:51 PM
    huno
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Shaunta
    ok...i dont do parties of clubs...just not me....i dont drink smoke none of that....im pretty plain i guess....i wouldnt mind takin dance lessons i just dont want to do it by myself...i would want him to do it with me....not saying im a prize package at all but i do have alot of females who are jealous of me because im with my boyfriend....maybe you guys dont know but because he is black and im mixed but could pass as a puerto rican....black girls give me nasty looks because we are together...they probally thiknk what i think when i see a white girl with a black guy so i do have issues with females...

    What kind of people do you hang out with that you can't make friends because you're dating a black guy? I know there ARE people who don't get caught up in such petty issues... find them.

    I still contend you need to get a life of your own... that way you can appreciate his need for a life of his own.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:53 PM
    cal823
    When you drink water everyday, it is mundane, taken for granted
    When you've been parched in a desert for a week, water is sweeter than any wine.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:57 PM
    Shaunta
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by huno
    What kind of people do you hang out with that you can't make friends because you're dating a black guy? I know there ARE people who don't get caught up in such petty issues... find them.

    I still contend you need to get a life of your own... that way you can appreciate his need for a life of his own.

    THIS WAS SAID...

    You need to make some friends. Go and socialise, go to a party or something, start taking dance lessons! Great way to make friends (just beware of possibly jealousies). Go to a group of somekind.



    I WAS SAYING THAT THERE ARE FEMALES THAT Don't LIKE ME BECAUSE IM MIXE AND LOOK PUERTO RICAN AND MY BOOYFRIEND IS BLACK... I GET DIRTY LOOKS ALL THE TIME... AND PEOPLE THAT KNOW HIM SAYS THINGS LIKE "OH I SEEN YOU IN YOUR CAR WITH THE TOP DOWN AND I WAS LIKE OH LOOK AT DRE DOING HIS THING TIL I SEEN THAT WHITE GIRL"
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:57 PM
    Shaunta
    But It Would Only Be People From His Job Or That Is What Someone Said That Works At His Job
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:58 PM
    Shaunta
    Its Not The First Time Someone Has Said Something About Me Being White And Why Is He With Me... we Over Heard Some Girls Talking And They Were Saying Of She Must Be Giving Him Money That's Why Hes With Her
  • Jul 7, 2007, 06:59 PM
    huno
    I know what you mean about girls being jealous... what I'm saying is not all of them are like that. Most girls, I think, don't really care. I hope you can eventually meet them because, independent of your relationship with your BF, you should have friendships. You keep saying you feel like you have no one, and that's absolutely not healthy.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 07:00 PM
    Shaunta
    I Know... I Sometimes Wish I Had Friends So I Wouldn't Depend On Him So Much Or Complain Because He Don't Want To Be With Me... because Then I Would Go And Hang Out With My Friends...
  • Jul 7, 2007, 07:06 PM
    huno
    So what do you do during the day? Do you go to school? Have a job?

    Incidentally, if this job as a flight attendant pays, absolutely go. You can't ignore a job opportunity because you want to be with your BF...
  • Jul 7, 2007, 07:09 PM
    Shaunta
    I work full time Monday through Friday from 10am-7pm and when I come from work the day is over so I just spend time with him until he wants to go home...

    Yes... the flight attendant job does pay good money and with me being a flight attendant I could fly for free and I could pick 8 or so other people to fly but they would just have to pay the taxes on the tickets... It does pay pretty good but just the time being away from him... and its sad because I don't feel that way about my family just him...
  • Jul 7, 2007, 08:29 PM
    talaniman
    You really must get a life you enjoy without him, or your insecurities and fears will push him away, and you will be alone so find some hobbies and things you enjoy doing and do them when he is not there. Some things you are interested in will put new people in your life and you will see that not everyone has petty hate and jealousy issues. It takes time so get started finding out what you like doing without him. You know what needs to be done so just do it. And try to be happy with yourself.
  • Jul 7, 2007, 08:58 PM
    Shaunta
    Well i would love to rate this answer but i must "spread some Reputation around before giving it to talaniman again." so i can't do that... thats what im going to have to do... i just feel like i need to be home in case he gets done doing that it is that hes doing early and he feels he wants to come back over...
  • Jul 8, 2007, 06:27 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    I work full time Monday through Friday from 10am-7pm
    Work is a great oppurtunity to make friends.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 08:34 AM
    Shaunta
    nope... I would rather not make friends at work... I would rather be friends with a random bum from off the street then with people at work
  • Jul 8, 2007, 10:20 AM
    stonewilder
    Yes you are being selfish and childish. You need to get your own life and friends. If you continue with this behavior you won't have a boyfriend at all.
  • Jul 8, 2007, 11:16 AM
    Shaunta
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by stonewilder
    Yes you are being selfish and childish. You need to get your own life and friends. If you continue with this behavior you won't have a boyfriend at all.



    How do i stop being so childish and selfish? Today he told me he wasn't coming to see me because the way i was acting yesterday... i hate when he says hes going to do something and doesn't even do it...
  • Jul 8, 2007, 12:00 PM
    stonewilder
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Shaunta
    he has time to himself when he goes to work and in between the time he gets off and has to pick me up...isnt that enough



    Please,please tell me you're kidding!
  • Jul 8, 2007, 12:07 PM
    Shaunta
    No... I Wasn't Kidding... its Crazy... I Feel So Lonely Without Him... today I Talked To Him On The Phone And He Said That He Wasn't Coming To See Me Because The Way I Was Acting Yesterday... I Started Complainig And He Was Like Ok Well I Have To Go Take Ashower I Will Call You Back... I Wouldn't Let Him Off The Phone So He Just Hung Up 9on Me... now I Tried To Call Him Back And Text Him But Hes Not Answering... ugh... im So Freakin Mad!
  • Jul 8, 2007, 12:27 PM
    stonewilder
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by Shaunta
    HOW DO I STOP BEING SO CHILDISH AND SELFISH?? TODAY HE TOLD ME HE WASNT COMING TO SEE ME BECAUSE THE WAY I WAS ACTING YESTERDAY...I HATE WHEN HE SAYS HES GOING TO DO SOMETHING AND DOESNT EVEN DO IT....



    I'm sorry Shanuta I don't blame him, I wouldn't come see you either! You say you hate it when he doesn't do what he says he's going to do but at least this time you brought it on yourself. I don't know how you stop being like this, but eventually you will learn how when he and ever guy you get involved with brakes up with you. I don't know what to tell you except what has already been suggested which you are brushing off. You might think you would love it if he had nothing better to do than spend his ever waking moment at your side but that would get old after a while. You would just think he's a desperate, pitiful person you don't want to be involved with. He's probably starting to feel that way about you. You can't make one person your whole life or expect you to be their whole life, it just doesn’t work that way. Just stop it!
  • Jul 8, 2007, 12:31 PM
    Shaunta
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by stonewilder
    \I don't know how you stop being like this, but eventually you will learn how when he and ever guy you get involved with brakes up with you. I\B]


    He is my first boyfriend... ive never been in a relationship with anyone else... i don't want things to end between us... im trying very hard to not be so selfish anymore... i know what im doing is wrong... i want to stop and i try but i have really bad anger issues... :(

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