Leave her alone and let her get over her issues, and take the time for your own. You both made enough mistakes, and you both should do some thinking before you try this again for sure. Handling her problems in a bottle alone is no good, but she must be the one to deal with that. Deal with your own kids for now. I think she will be more approachable later, after a good break. Blending a family is tough at best, and will cause many problems you both must deal with as a unit, so think on that as communications are always needed and I don't think the two of you have gotten to that point of working well together. This thing moved to fast for both your own good.