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-   -   Is he messing with my head again - I'm feeling suicidal (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=363502)

  • Jun 10, 2009, 03:05 PM
    talaniman
    FAIR WARNING THIS WILL BE HARSH.

    START SAYING NO, SPAMMING HIS TEXTS, AND BLOCK HIS PHONE CALL.

    ABOVE ALL QUIT MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR SELF, WHY YOU KEEP LETTING HIM F'K UP YOUR LIFE.

    HE IS ONLY AMUSING HIMSELF, AND MAKING AN IDIOT OUT OF YOU, BECAUSE YOU LET HIM. THATS ALL YOUR FAULT, SO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, AND QUIT WHINING!

    Click on the link in my signature, and read the stickies. Work on yourself, your a mess. Hang up on the b4st4d, and don't talk to him.
  • Jun 11, 2009, 12:05 AM
    imhurtingsomuch
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    FAIR WARNING THIS WILL BE HARSH.

    START SAYING NO, SPAMMING HIS TEXTS, AND BLOCK HIS PHONE CALL.

    ABOVE ALL QUIT MAKING EXCUSES FOR YOUR SELF, WHY YOU KEEP LETTING HIM F'K UP YOUR LIFE.

    HE IS ONLY AMUSING HIMSELF, AND MAKING AN IDIOT OUT OF YOU, BECAUSE YOU LET HIM. THATS ALL YOUR FAULT, SO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, AND QUIT WHINING!

    Click on the link in my signature, and read the stickies. Work on yourself, your a mess. Hang up on the b4st4d, and don't talk to him.

    Your right talaniman I am a mess, a complete and utter mess!! I've not seen him since nov 08 s I just get the gut instinct to stay away, he still text and rings me though and always asks to meet up with me.
    Im changing my mobile number today and going to try and move on even though I'm dying inside with the thought of him and another.

    I suppose when I sit and think I'm letting him use me by answering his texts and calls, he did ring me the other day and I just ignored is as I thought "why answer it to get the phone put down on me again". I thought that I'm worth better than the way he treats me.
  • Jun 11, 2009, 04:05 AM
    imhurtingsomuch

    I just wanted to give you all a quick update and say thank you for all your help and support. Ive now changed my mobile number, when my ex found out I was changing my number (as I've been talking about doing it for a while now) he text me and said "ive not got your new mobile number"!! I thought he was having a laugh at first but he really meant it.
    He thought I was going to give him my new number so he could call me up/text me and be abusive and put the phone down on me!! I think he thinks that I've got door mat written on my head. Anyway I haven't responded and just changed my number, I've took the voicemail off my old number so the only way he can reach me is by texting my old number.

    Lets just hope I'm doing the right thing folks, I miss him already but I can't keep living like I've been doing, its no good for my health and sanity

    Thanks again for all your advice - you are true angels
  • Jun 11, 2009, 04:26 AM
    PurpLePassion

    He sounds like a real , NOT SOMEONE YOU WANT TO BE WITH!!


    It's probably because you do go running back, tell him to fk OFF! They always want what they can't have... make yourself unavailable


    And please seek professional help
  • Jun 11, 2009, 04:28 AM
    PurpLePassion
    YAY!

    & yea you'll miss him, that's normal... but time heals everything



    Quote:

    Originally Posted by imhurtingsomuch View Post
    i just wanted to give you all a quick update and say thank you for all your help and support. Ive now changed my mobile number, when my ex found out i was changing my number (as ive been talking about doing it for a while now) he text me and said "ive not got your new mobile number" !!!!! i thought he was having a laugh at first but he really meant it.
    He thought i was going to give him my new number so he could call me up/text me and be abusive and put the phone down on me !!!! I think he thinks that ive got door mat written on my head. Anyway i havnt responded and just changed my number, ive took the voicemail off my old number so the only way he can reach me is by texting my old number.

    Lets just hope im doing the right thing folks, i miss him already but i can't keep living like ive been doing, its no good for my health and sanity

    thanks again for all your advice - you are true angels

  • Jun 11, 2009, 05:02 AM
    I wish
    You're definintely doing the right. He's messed around with you long enough. Just keep in mind, you're not trying to punish him. You're helping YOURSELF. You need to get over him and move on with your life. This might feel tough at first and might get tougher for a little while, but with time, it will get better. You just have to be patient. If you can't handle how much you miss him, then just come back here and we will knock some sense into you.
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:23 AM
    imhurtingsomuch
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by I wish View Post
    You're definintely doing the right. He's messed around with you long enough. Just keep in mind, you're not trying to punish him. You're helping YOURSELF. You need to get over him and move on with your life. This might feel tough at first and might get tougher for a little while, but with time, it will get better. You just have to be patient. If you can't handle how much you miss him, then just come back here and we will knock some sense into you.

    Your right I wish. I am doing the right thing. Another of his little games was to tell me he loved me and then arange to meet up with girls he never met on Facebook, one of my mates set him up for a false meeting and he went!! Only two hours before that he was professing his undying love for me??

    Im so glad to be away from the lies, the only thing that bothers me is that he still has a slight hold on me (we used to work together and that's how we met), he says that he knows somebody that he works with that knows me but won't tell me who they are, I don't know if he is lying or what but he has been telling me things (who I've been owt with) that he must have got from somewhere?? It makes me creepy to think that he can still have this hold over me. I don't think this friend is a direct friend of mine as I know where my mates work, but someone that knows someone that knows me (if you follow)

    Its like he gets his kicks out of knowing what I'm doing, he says he thinks of me 24/7, whom I'm with and what I'm doing etc etc
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:29 AM
    kctiger

    You should tell him to think about my foot going horizontally up his a$$ 24/7... that should change his thinking. :cool:
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:33 AM
    imhurtingsomuch
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    You should tell him to think about my foot going horizontally up his a$$ 24/7...that should change his thinking. :cool:

    The thing with him is that he don't care, he is so rude to me, telling me that I'm a liar(thought that was a good one coming from him), and that I cry wolf (just because I had a very scary lump and didn't tell him about it as I didn't want to worry him). If you love someone would you call them a lair and accuse them of crying wolf?? I was only protecting him from the truth
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:36 AM
    liz28

    Wait a second am I missing something? How did he get your new number?

    When I changed my number in the past it didn't matter if something called or text my old number they couldn't reach me. When they would call the old number the disconnected message could be heard. Text messages got sent back to the person as undeliverable.

    Once you change your number nobody can get it unless it was given to them. Did you state in your voicemail you were changing your number + left the number? Did you tell your carrier you wanted your changed number private?
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:39 AM
    imhurtingsomuch
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    Wait a second am I missing something? How did he get your new number?

    When I changed my number in the past it didn't matter if something called or text my old number they couldn't reach me. When they would call the old number the disconnected message could be heard. Text messages got sent back to the person as undeliverable.

    Once you change your number nobody can get it unless it was given to them. Did you state in your voicemail you were changing your number + left the number? Did you tell your carrier you wanted your changed number private?

    No he hasn't got my new number, he texted my old number saying that I haven't sent him my new number - not that I'm going to send him my new number - sorry for the confusion
  • Jun 11, 2009, 06:48 AM
    imhurtingsomuch

    He knows that I love him so much, I hate the mind games that he plays with me and I'm going to stop putting myself in a position to let him. He turned up at my house last yr on my birthday in June with a present for me he said but didn't want to bother me. That's probably a lie. He also recently said that he sent me a letter explaining his feelings and guess what I didn't reciee a thing, another of his lies I think.
    His lies just go on and on, I'm surprised that he can keep up with them all
  • Jun 12, 2009, 06:14 AM
    imhurtingsomuch

    Just wanted to come on here and vent rather than text the ex. Its killing me right now but hope you don't mind me coming on here and venting. I told him that I wanted him to forget our past and that its for the best, I hope that I did the right thing ? Ive got a horrible feeling that I've made the wrong decision but on the other hand I just can't trust him and he tells too many lies?

    God I'm so confused right now, I've been trying to keep myself busy, I've even mowed the front and back grass!! I just can't get him out of my head ? Why? After he treated me so badley and slept with someone else (fair enough we were not together at the time, but he was asking me to get back with him) have I right to feel bad even though we were not together but he was still asking me to get back with him??

    I'm just so confused right now and don't know where to turn
  • Jun 12, 2009, 06:16 AM
    kctiger

    Turn to us. Venting is great, and I even think healthy. This whole process of ridding yourself of him is like detox for emotions. You will be fine. I know it is hard to have the faith, but believe me, you will. Hang tough and keep venting on here, as much as it takes.
  • Jun 12, 2009, 06:29 AM
    imhurtingsomuch
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Turn to us. Venting is great, and I even think healthy. This whole process of ridding yourself of him is like detox for emotions. You will be fine. I know it is hard to have the faith, but believe me, you will. Hang tough and keep venting on here, as much as it takes.

    Thanks kctiger, the thing that really hurts me is that when we got back in touch I found out that he was "friends" with this woman and asked her to go on holiday with him. He told me that they were just mates that were going through a rough time and enjoyed each others company. Then he turned and said to me that he did like her and that you never know what may happen if they went on holiday together, that was like a knife in the heart to me.

    I didn't have any contact with him for a couple of weeks and the next time we spoke I found out that he had slept with her, so all along he was getting on with her and asking me to get back with him. The thing is that after he slept with her he told me it didn't felt right and that he told her he wanted to be mates, again another lie as I know for sure that she was on Facebook gushing that they are in a relationship and she "thinks she maybe in love". How this broke my heart, why do we want to find these things out when we know that the answers will brake our hearts?

    This is why I have cut off all communication with him, it hurts too much to know who he is with and what they are doing, just knowing that they are together eats me up inside.

    If he had just been honest from the start and said that he had liked this girl so he can't get involved with me then I would have respected him and moved on, but he just lied lied lied.

    Its like I'm his back up plan if/when things go wrong, e.g he slept with the woman to get some booty and then because it didn't feel right he thought he could give me the old line of I thought I loved her but then realised I didn't, its you that I love gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrr
  • Jun 12, 2009, 06:34 AM
    kctiger

    It sucks to know someone you deeply love is being intimate with another person, I know the feeling. Look, he is a lying no good person and you deserve better. Do not give him the satisfaction of your being upset. Few months down the road, you will see how much he wasn't worth all of this, trust me.
  • Jun 12, 2009, 06:38 AM
    talaniman

    This is a great first step, coming her to release those feelings, instead of listening tp more of his yada. You can get him out of your life, just keep making the right decisions for yourself.
  • Jun 12, 2009, 06:40 AM
    imhurtingsomuch
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    It sucks to know someone you deeply love is being intimate with another person, I know the feeling. Look, he is a lying no good person and you deserve better. Do not give him the satisfaction of your being upset. Few months down the road, you will see how much he wasn't worth all of this, trust me.

    Please could you answer the following questions as I'm a bit confused as to what to think right now - thanks

    Should I feel angry that he slept with someone even though we were not together but he was asking to get back together? Saying he loved me and wanted a future with me

    Would someone who loves you call you a liar and say that your crying wolf (over the lump I didn't tell him about because I didn't want to worry him)
  • Jun 12, 2009, 10:25 AM
    imhurtingsomuch

    I'm sorry to keep venting, I know that thee are a lot of people on here wanting help and advice, not just myself. Im just finding hard to move withou the above questions being answered. The guy has a way of making it feel my fault.

    Basically I told him to forget our past as its for the best, so he now completley ignores me, even when I said that I didn't want to end it badley and it would be nice if he said goodbye via text. He isn't ignoring me because he is hurting (the is a circle we repeat time and time again) he is doing it out of spite and being petty. I just wanted to end it politley not with him sulking because I told him I'm leaving. Im so confused, on one hand I'm glad he hasn't text me but on the other it would have been nice for him too wish me the best for the future
  • Jun 12, 2009, 11:06 AM
    talaniman
    Omigosh, stop worrying about him, his feelings, or what he thinks.

    That goody two shoes, fantasy ending, ain't happening so let that go.

    Grow up, and get a real life, and look forward, not backward. How many times you going to break up with this guy, enough is enough.

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