Ask Me Help Desk - I am doing NC. What about her?

Hey Sneezy,

I think it's OK that you made contact; don't be so hard on yourself. I mean honestly... you're over her. You still have angry feelings left over, but why woudn't you?? She's been quite persistent and you've made yourself pretty clear. She can take it or leave it. :T

Sounds like you handled it well to me. I wouldn't worry about it at all.

Nice job with the hermit crab girl... I have to learn to chat up women - its been way to long :)

P.S. - Can we call her crabs girl?:p

Thanks everyone. Yeah I figured I didn't handle it too bad... I just saw no way out of the situation, did what I had to do.

We can call her crabs girl... that works for me.

A good buddy of mine actually said, "sneeze...you have to learn to talk to random women. It's time."

We went to a club this past weekend, and I froze up... it's not really my scene... I'd rather not meet women in areas where they're falling over drunk and where it's so loud I have to shout to her.. . I pick my own places... like the aquarium. I do what I do.

Sneezy, not to mention at a club... God forbid if you are shouting to talk to the girl and you say something and the music stops! That would make for an embarrassing moment ha ha..

Talking to random women is truly a learned skill, it's all about being able to just be yourself around them. Like Sneezy, I was always afraid to go up to girls that I didn't know but a friend told me, "the worst the can say is no" so what do you have to lose? Don't use a pick up line, just say "hey how are you" I would place money you at least get a hello back

Quote:

"the worst they can say is no"

Or keep you buying drinks for them, YUCKKKKKKK!

Very true Tal, which is why I support the full 3 drink policy that me and my friends have. We will only buy 3 drinks for a girl, if by the end of the 3 drinks we don't have a number then we cut off.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Talking to random women is truly a learned skill, it's all about being able to just be yourself around them.

The best advice I ever got was to not just talk to random women. Talk to everyone - the guy/girl at your local coffee shop, the dry cleaner counter person, people that you deal with on a daily basis. I have met a lot of interesting people who have commented on an overheard conversation between me and the guy at the local mini-mart. I think it makes them see you as an outgoing, confident person and not a guy just out to pick up a woman and it automatically makes them more comfortable talking to you.

I don't think I have a problem talking to random women... I certainly walked up to a random girl who worked at the aquarium and started to talk to her... I just feel that the club scene isn't a good place to "talk" to girls. I prefer to meet them in coffee shops and libraries. Yes. I am a dork. Whoo hoo!

When you go to the local meat markets, that's what you get. Aquariums are good, or anyplace, besides a bar.

Yea, usually when I want to meet a girl to pursue a relationship, I go to nice places(coffee shop, mall, and musuems) but if I want a hook up then bar scene.

Please do not take that offensively women, I love you all. I have just learned through MY expierences that girls met at a bar usually equal not good relationship material lol

Yeah, I mean... really, when your kid asks how you met mom, do you want your story to go along with... "Well, I was at this club, getting smashed...and I saw your mom, and she was pretty freaking tipsy as well...vomiting and such...and she was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. So I took her back to my place..."

"And 9 months later, out popped you. This is why daddy is only around 2 weekends a month because alcohol seemed to release my better judgement."

Quote:

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

"And 9 months later, out popped you. This is why daddy is only around 2 weekends a month because alcohol seemed to release my better judgement."

Is this an updated version of the stork story I grew up with? :confused:

Or the cabbage patch tale I told my kids?? :D

... you guys are sick.

I love it.

Update:

I just got back from an end-of-the-year party for my school. Having a GREAT time at a bar, moving through the crowd, taking pictures, meeting with EVERYONE, just overall, having a good time. I see my ex with her new guy, no biggie, I give her a chin up, small smile, and keep walking. As I come back, she puts her arm around my stomach, grabs my shirt, and says, "Can we talk?"

I peel her hand off my shirt, reply, "Nope" and continue walking.

Throughout the night, she's seen trying to talk to my best bud to get some "sense" in me to try and talk with her... here's the best part... my best bud's drunk out of his mind, to the point he's talking to her... hugging her... etc... then looks at her, and goes, "..wait...who...are you?" classic.

All in all, she's upset throughout the night, and I just could not care. We all end up going to a different bar, and I catch her looking at me every now and then, and I get evil eyes from her new guy (... which I couldn't care less for, as... he's scared of me. The fact that he's scared of me is a cherry on top of my gigantic sundae with everything on top), and I just continue on with my night.

Could I have handled it better? Possibly... I could have not used the smart alecky "Nope" line, and instead have said, "No, sorry"... but to be honest, I was having a great time and I was a little tipsy. However, no regrets.

This entire week is senior's week at my university, which means I'll run into her VERY often... I'll keep you guys updated on the comedy. Right now, I'm still thinking of how my best bud talked to her for literally 20 - 30 minutes, and in the end, looked at her, and said, "...wait, who are you?"... it was by far, the funniest scene tonight.

Sounds good to me sneeze. Fair play my man.

And I bet your friend saying that made you laugh, made me laugh reading it!

Top man.

Oh Sneeze, you're so funny hun. What your friend said just cracked me right up! LMAO! That was great!

She made her bed...

Good for you bro.

Update before I leave:

I'm leaving for Europe tomorrow morning... so I'll put a small update here.

Nothing's changed since the last time I saw my ex... in fact, I've seen my ex every single day this past week (we're all graduating, so there are constant events + parties going on). I believe she's finally realized that I am not willing to speak to her. I always catch her looking at me when we're out, but she no longer approaches me. (tiny victory!)

I guess the highlight is when I was at a club/lounge with my friend's sister (to make it better... she was gorgeous), my ex was there as well. The girl and I left together at the end, us walking to our car on one sidewalk, my ex and her boyfriend walking on the other sidewalk... quite west-side story-esque.

Next day, I get an e-mail from a mutual friend that states:

- Did you hook up with friend's gorgeous sister? (FGS for short)
- Ex was pissed she saw me with her.
- Ex wrote mutual friend an e-mail that says:
:: ex misses me... a lot. As a boyfriend and as a friend.
:: ex and new boyfriend constantly fight... but they're still trying to work things out.
:: ex wants to talk to me... and she hopes us being in the same city next year will help a lot.

Could. Care. Less.

SO. That's the update so far. Me and HBI girl are pretty much dunzo... not sure what I said/did for things to go badly... I have a small idea, and it's that I have a few very close female friends who are very cuddly with me. They'll hug me and take me as their dates to different events. We're, however, just strictly friends.

One night, at an event, I was talking to HBI and a friend walked up, grabbed my hands, and said, "let's dance, date."... I'm not so sure HBI was upset by this, regardless... last time I texted her to grab something to eat, there was no response. Sad.

I'm off to Europe in the morning! I'll be back in 2 weeks! Be good everyone. Hope everyone's doing well with their NC.

If you happen to swing by nottingham let me know and ill buy you a pint :]