LOL, didn't expect the body part coming out! Nice one emopunk! Do you really need the small teddy bear and tiger? ;P
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LOL, didn't expect the body part coming out! Nice one emopunk! Do you really need the small teddy bear and tiger? ;P
So I'm over my ex. I have no pain anymore. I wake up fine! I still think about how its weird it all ended for the second time and both being her dumping me. Ahhh
But no more pain thanks to NC and everyone here. I just have to keep progress and hang in there. I still wonder if things were my fault or not.
Nice pics! And now you're over her-and that's the way it stays. A new year-a new chapter. Take care.
I only waited for you, but nothing was ever enough.
Well it's been too long and I can't have this rough.
When memories always stay, I start a fire in my head.
Only wishing you never showed up, only wishing you were dead.
My actions bring out the worst in you, but please keep it under control.
But you've been broken for way too long, and now we're at our low.
The maps are lost and any way seems right, except towards you.
Still you're a magnet, but I'm turning fast, yes it's true.
Cause pain missing a girl is better than pain fighting a girl you love.
Don't start a fight tonight so please drop your gloves.
Please realize I've moved on is what you said.
It makes a lie to everything you wrote, everything I've read.
So kiss your hands left to right and slap your hands.
Act like you know what your doing, but still it stands.
Now go and lie, you're interior will always remain.
Pictures and a show don't fool cause you're still so plain.
So I got me a car with great interior that reminds be there is better.
I've created a new life, and now I'm writing this letter.
If you had it bad, then I had it hell.
I have it heaven, and I'm glad we fell.
Quick as you left, quick as someone came.
I'm tired of your games, they're stupid and lame.
This one doesn't complain. She's completely sane.
No scenes in the streets, but we show up at the scene.
Yea we rock out, if you know what I mean.
She gives me space, she's not a feen.
Therefore I treat her like a queen.
She doesn't have much insecurities, she's pretty confident.
Makes her sexier, makes me happier, some can say heaven sent.
I think I need some support right now. I feel a bit down. I did go out with a friend last night and had a good time. Still I found myself missing my ex I think. Like just thinking of what we had and how strange it is that its been 3 months of NC. This never happened. It's a bit sad especially seeing my brother with my ex sister a lot. My ex and I were just as close if not closer. I'm pretty sad.
Its just one of those moments of regret with maybe some loneliness thrown in. You know by now that it'll pass.
Yeah but I don't feel like doing anything... I haven't gone to the gym in almost 3 days... whats happening? I need your help!
I feel the same Emo, post holiday blues I guess, just one of those low energy days after a great holiday. Believe I almost slept through the first game of a double header on Fox??
It happens. But I don't have an ex to dwell on, you shouldn't either for that matter. Its been how long??
Thanks TMan! I suppose it is the blues. I guess I had a lot to look forward to like Christmas and being with the family. Now its over but I had a blast. Now not much to look forward to. I did buy myself an IPOD Touch though and I will go to the gym tonight to feel that power I've been missing. I really appreciate you and Amicon for coming to my rescue. I don't know what it is. I would like to vent on my next post about signs I should have noticed in my last relationship and all the red flags.
Red Flags... She broke up with me the first time. I was at my families house and it bothered her. I called to let her know everything is okay and trying to be a good boyfriend but she was out with her phone off. Then hours later she answered and then she gave me attitude and said she can do what she wants and that its too bad so I said f u to her because she was talking down to me and we hung up. Then she called me at about 5am saying "baby we should talk and fix this" but that same night she went out again without letting me know and by the next day she wanted a break and a week later she broke up with me. Confused why still.
Fast forward 7 months and she is back in the scene. I never really did NC then. We spoke and she was having issues with her guy and so was I and we hung out one day without our SO knowing. After a month we really started hangin out and broke up with our SO. She said she still didn't want a relationship because she knows she wouldn't be able to control herself and she would flip out as usual. I said no and that we won't fight and well I convinced her. I CONVINCED HER!!
Then we started having problems although I was in cloud nine with her and probably always wouldve been. She threatened leaving me and would always say I'm going to end up single and alone. Which is true now. Makes me sad.
Red flags are that I had to convince her to be with me. She would curse me out again and act crazy during arguments. She would threaten to leave me a lot. She would constantly say she is done and gives up. She would throw me out of her house a lot.
During an argument I never cursed her out unless she did first which is still no excuse but never would start it.
I never threatened to leave.
I never threw her out of my house.
Maybe I was too in love to realize that she just didn't love me the same.
Any comments? I'm sooo tired... will try to hit the gym in a few. I'm so hungry!
I hope you wake up to a great morning-and make plans for new things to look forward to. Leave the past where it belongs-in the past.
Now off to the gym with you.
Its simple withdrawal. Everyone experiences this after any breakup in all but the most abusive ones and sometimes even then.
Just keep your eyes forward on the future and do NOT look back. Do NOT think about her, do not talk to her, text her, email her, call her or answer any calls from her. If you see her on the street cross the street to the opposite side. Avoid her in every way possible until you have truly moved on... it will make that period easier. In the meantime focus on what's really important... if that's school or work then focus on that.
If you don't completely trust your partner and they completely trust you then you don't have the sort of relationship you should have and its time to move on. Consider this an important lesson in life. Learn from it, don't repeat it or ignore it.
Is this line forever true?
I can't take my mind off you, till I find somebody new.
Is that forever true?
Nope not true, I still think about my ex from time to time. It's natural. I don't think about still being with her but now that everything has settled, I just wonder if it's everything she's ever wanted
Hell, I still think about boyfriends from 20 years ago. There's one I've been trying to FIND for 10 years, just to say hello to (Ryan, if you're listening... get on Facebook or something!).
Finding someone new isn't an antidote to thinking about your ex.
You SHOULD think about your ex from time to time.
But honestly--the BEST cure for getting stuck in an obsessive loop of thinking about her is to go out and volunteer to help people who are REALLY down on their luck. Join Habitat for Humanity or your local soup kitchen.
Nope, I still think of the guy that I dated in High School every now and then.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
I use the end of the old year as a time to look at old pictures. It's a time to reflect and be thankful for the good times while trying to forgive the bad ones. The new year is a time to put away the old pictures and pick up the camera. New pictures for new memories.
Happy New Year, emo. :)
Can you be an emotional abuser while at the same time be a good person overall in the outside world?
Amicon!! I went home last night and got ready for the gym but then I fell asleep. I looked at an alert on my phone at 415am and I woke up and went to the gym! It felt great to be back! I'm going back tonight when I get out of work!
Yea, look at someone like Chris Brown. He was perfect to the fans and outside world, in private, he was an abuser. First at emotional levels then to physical.
Just to clarify, when you guys think of the ex, it's just a happy memory right? It's not like it makes you sad or anything?
It's not always happy, no.
Sometimes I remember how badly my first boyfriend treated me when I see someone else in a similar situation, then realize how happy I am with my husband.
Sometimes it's just an event, a moment. Like sitting in the hot tub at a ski resort, or canoeing down a river, or seeing a specific band in concert together.
Sorry to hear that he treated you badly, but at least you're happier now then. I just don't want to end up lamenting the loss of my ex and wishing those days back, that's why I was asking.
Oh god, I don't wish those days back for anything.
Even with the boyfriends that WERE good to me, and a lot of fun.
You should GROW from the ashes of a relationship, make yourself better, brighter, happier with YOURSELF.
I lamented the loss of exes--at the time. A couple of those breakups were REALLY harsh (read that as: I ended up in the hospital psych ward for one of them). That doesn't mean I don't have both good and bad memories of those guys. That just means that I learned something about MYSELF from those guys, and grew wiser/happier with MYSELF because of it.
And since I'm pretty darned happy with who I am today, I'd have to say that I wouldn't even change most of it, even the heartache.
Well, I had to spread the rep, but damned fine answer Synnen. That was exactly what I was hoping you'd say. It's sad to be forced to close the book on the ex, but it's better than not doing it...
Sorry about spamming your thread emo :)
Its only true for people that cling to the past... there are cases that being "Forever true" is really being "forever stupid". What that DOES describe is a rebound relationship... and those rarely work out.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
Here's an update. I went to bed last night and I had a dream I was at a store flirting with pretty girls and having a good time. Then I was at a pool hall hanging out with friends... None included the ex. I woke up surprised and happy. Then I went back to bed and it happens. I see her and I say sorry for everything and then she says it too. We are about to have sex. Then just before that we get into argument and nothing happens. The next day she says sorry and I go to her job to say I'm sorry too but at the last minute I change my mind and I say no thanks, now I am done with this. What's going on with the dreams?
Maybe the dream about the ex is trying to tell you that you really know its over? I don't know,dreams are mostly just random images to me,but perhaps sometimes they send us some kind of message?
Dreams are just dreams... don't try to read anything into it. Just keep up the No Contact thing and one day soon you will wonder why you ever went out with her in the first place. Particularly after the first really nice girl you meet.
Nearly every one of us has dealt with this before... those of us smart enough to get out of a bad situation that is. IF it was meant to be then you would NOT have had to deal with all that drama she gave.
Dreams can't be controlled. So because it's out of your control, you don't need to analyze it too much.
Dreams trigger your emotions and feelings when you wake up, so you end up thinking about your situation in the conscious world.
It's similar to walking by your ex's favorite restaurant or even walking by her house. These are all triggers that you make you reflect in greater detail, so no need to beat yourself up over it.
I just thought I'd restate my actions. People said maybe she wasn't lying and maybe she just had a change of plans.
Here's the thing. This was the fourth time she did this. Next, when I asked her where was the music coming from she says she was probably walking by a bar?? The music was coming directly from where she was. I'm not dumb. Plus the fact that she says she was at 7-11 makes it worse because there is no walking pass by any bars. The parking lot is right there. Not to mention she agreed she didn't tell me that she was going out because I would be upset. So she planned on lying. Yes I was a bit angry on the phone but no insults on my part and being that she did this a few times I had a right to be upset. She said to relax and immediately I did. Then she started cursing me out a d hung up on me and didn't care how I felt and stood out all night. I would never do anything close like that to her. Then the next day she showed no sympathy besides a text I am sorry and I love you. No call and then she had lunch with a supervisor instead of putting me first after the drama. Then over the phone she didn't want totalk about it and when I said if I can pick her up at work she said "why so you can babysit me" That was an insult and I had enough and at that moment I gave up and said I am sorry for bothering her and got offthe phone. After all this then and only then did my revenge kick in. Comments? Did I still do the wrong thing?
You're still thinking about the past Emo? I thought we were done with that. You promised.
Stop obsessing about what happened and move forward. Until you do that, there's nothing else we can help you with.
Yup, its time to let go.
Aw emopunk, I think u're a hard thinker. I am one, and I learn things the hard way.
I just need you guys to tell me if she was treating me badly... I don't know... I wouldve never done that to her and she was very possessive and jealous. Why did that have to happen to me?
Also are you suppose to trust a girlfriend going to eat with a guy? Isn't that a date in its own ways? Trust is a strange thing. I think if it goes to that point of her doing that its over because why not eat with you?
Also in the notebook they fought a lot and it worked. How is that an example?
It's in the past,Emo.
Leave it there.
The notebook is hollywood... and also things were very much different in the '40's.
The more important question is this: Haven't you tortured yourself enough over this? Forget about it and do something. Plan a trip. Get involved. Live your own life in the present, and let go of the past. Everyone on here can see how unhealthy it is to hold on to the past like you have been doing with your ex girlfriend...
Movies have a tendency to give people unrealistic expectations about life. They are meant to be fantastic and extraordinary... that is part of the spectacle. People go to the movies to escape from their own lives for a certain amount of time, and to feel the emotions and drama that come with it. However, real life isn't like that. But in your case, you're making it like a movie. You're making your situation something that it isn't. You need to move on pal.
After 3 months of NC:
I have been doing a lot better. Christmas and New Years was great. I have done a lot of shopping for clothes and I have been working in my room which is still in progress. I have been working out a lot. I have registered for school and I am going full time in 2 weeks to become an Accountant. I have a 3.3 GPA and I am okay.
Still, I find myself at times still thinking about my ex and how sad it is that it is over. I sometimes still blame myself and not even just for the last thing I did which was payback. Its thoughts like that one day at her house I shouldn't have wanted to go home and play xbox. I shouldve stayed longer with her. And the times I wanted to go home and sleep in my bed while she would grab me to stay longer with her. And other times we would hang out and play. I don't really get it. I mean sure the last few weeks together I missed her a lot because I worked a lot and it was new, but why couldn't she understand that I missed her? She didn't have to sneak behind my back. Why sneak? I never did that to her. That's what bothers me. Am I doing okay for 3 months?
EmoQuote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
Why are you asking us the same questions again?? We've gone over and over this so many times!! Who cares if she was treating you badly , doesn't matter and it's not going to change anything. Accept it and move on , otherwise we're still going to be here at 100 pages and still be talking about the same thing.
Oh please... lets stop with the "woe is me" attitude , have you read the threads on here , I know you have. This happens to thousands of people every day all over the world. Again "Get over it" get off the pity pot and lets move on.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
Why not? If you trust someone it's not an issue in my opinion. BUT if you don't trust it is a major issue , question answered.Quote:
Originally Posted by emopunk7
Lets move forward and not keep going back to all the old questions , every time I think your doing well you go backwards again because you start to try to anylise everything.
Sorry if it sounds harsh but sometimes we need a kick in the butt to see it ourselves!
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