Ask Me Help Desk - Can I get back with my ex-girlfriend after 2 months of no contact?

Look after yourself :-)

A little update...

Hello friends, yesterday I met the most amazing girl, she is really something. It's almost 8 months after the breakup already...

We shared stories about our ex's and we understand each other so well, we are the same zodiac sign and we have so many things in comon that she told me she got scared... lol

I find we really connected quickly in person, after a week of chatting on msn, one night we chatted for like 7 hours non stop.

I want to say thanks to you guys for showing me that No Contact really works. By refusing casual with my ex, not only did I heal quicker, but I kept my dignity and self respect and I met my match, the most amazing girl I have ever met. I felt happy again last night and she saw it in my eyes. She has this ability to read my eyes and know what I am thinking.

Also yesterday afternoon, my brother told me he went to the dental clinic where my ex works, aparently she took the day off cause she knew my brother was going to be there that day, I guess she was afraid or felt guilt and did not want to face my brother. I am glad she did not show up, so I have no info on her and she has no info on me.

All I want now is to share happiness and great moments with my new girl. Never think or hear about my ex again and forget her name.

Thanks again guys for helping through the hard times, I am finally seeing the light again and it feels great.

Hate to be the eternal skeptic, but just make sure you take it slow. It is awesome to meet such an amazing girl, but let things develop slowly and with realistic expectations.

Good for you, by the way. Now enjoy getting to know each other and don't rush anything. Bravo to you by the way!

Thanks KC, I will take my time...

Good job, especially with meeting the new girl. Don't rush into anything. Just enjoy getting to know her and see what develops.

KC, you type too fast, lol!

We made out on our first date is that bad?

Quote:

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

We made out on our first date is that bad?

No, not really. Just keep things in perspective and remember that when things move too fast, "crash and burn" usually occurs... (shameless Tal plug).

So should not see her today right? Or is it OK to see each other 2 days in a row?

It's OK to do whatever you want, just enjoy and don't push anything. Let everything happen naturally, just don't question everything as if it has meaning. The more we look for a meaning in something the less we enjoy it.

Go out, enjoy each other's company and enjoy things together. Nothing wrong with that! Just have fun Luigi.

Go see her. Just don't get hot and heavy too quickly.

Well, looks like we going to spend some time together, we going to stay home and watch some movies and cuddle...

So I will do my best to resist her sexyness...

Quote:

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

well, looks like we going to spend some time together, we going to stay home and watch some movies and cuddle...

So i will do my best to resist her sexyness...

Child Pleeze... :cool:

LOL, I know, that's how it is when you fall in love...

Have fun guy, just don't get carried away by her sexiness. Even if its not love, you can enjoy it!

Quote:

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

LOL, i know, that's how it is when you fall in love...

S L O W L Y does it... you aren't in Love yet it's the infatuation stage. Don't blow it by being too available or smothering her.

Like the others have said just enjoy getting to know each other and remember the lessons you learnt from your previous relationship.

Good luck , because I'd hate to see you back here in a months time lamenting why it didn't work.

I read this entire thread, good to see that time and NC has really seemed to help.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aehs01

I read this entire thread, good to see that time and NC has really seemed to help.

Yes it helped, what did not help is that every time I tried to get in a new relationship with a new girl and it failed, it brought me back to hating and thinking of my ex.

It made me feel like she screwed me up and I can't date any new girls seriously. Make sure you wait a little before you date again, I ended up hurting a lot of girls feelings cause I kept rejecting them. I tried to replace my ex with them and it did not work.

I decided to stay single for a while until I will be fully over her and ready to be with a special girl, hopefully my soulmate.

Good luck mate

Quote:

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

yes it helped, what did not help is that every time i tried to get in a new relationship with a new girl and it failed, it brought me back to hating and thinking of my ex.

it made me feel like she screwed me up and i can't date any new girls seriously. Make sure you wait a little before you date again, i ended up hurting a lot of girls feelings cause i kept rejecting them. I tried to replace my ex with them and it did not work.

i decided to stay single for a while until i will be fully over her and ready to be with a special girl, hopefully my soulmate.

good luck m8

You know this may sound odd, but the first girl I really was in love with broke up with me and strung me along for a couple years.. torturing me. I never knew about NC and just kept trying to make it work always getting hurt.. finnally I got so f'ed up I sent her a long message to never talk to me or think about me ever again. A year or more goes by and we go out to dinner and hangout a couple times, at this point I was over her but still in some way would have liked to see us work it out (crazy at this point I know) but you know because I was over her and could actually hangout with her and say to myself.. wow this girl really sucks! Instead of being a big sap over the whole thing I think I finnally had my closure with her. Then a couple months later I ended up meeting the next girl... every girl before that I would always think about my ex.. It just takes time it seems.

Wow, you had guts to see her again and go out for dinner with her. I could never do that with an ex. Once it's over and I know she been with other guys I cannot go back. Must be a territorial thing I have.

So basically you guys were hanging out again a year after the breakup? And you realized she wasn't a catch after all. If it helped you get over her, good for you man.

My ex tried to string me along too by asking me to be casual with her (friends with benefits). I refused because I know once you go into that zone you are trapped in an endless labyrinth of mind games.

Once she says '' No '' to the relationship you must disappear forever until she changes her mind and if she doesn't it's just too bad for her, she is history and it's her loss. Yes it's hard to just disappear and forget about someone you loved and shared amazing moments with, but in the long run it's less pain than if you stay as her 2nd option. She will just use you until she finds a better candidate.

Makes sense?

Quote:

Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi

wow, you had guts to see her again and go out for dinner with her. I could never do that with an ex. Once it's over and i know she been with other guys i cannot go back. Must be a territorial thing i have.

So basicly you guys were hanging out again a year after the breakup? and you realized she wasn't a catch after all. If it helped you get over her, good for you man.

My ex tried to string me along too by asking me to be casual with her (friends with benefits). i refused because i know once you go into that zone you are trapped in an endless labyrinth of mind games.

Once she says '' No '' to the relationship you must dissapear forever until she changes her mind and if she doesn't it's just too bad for her, she is history and it's her loss. Yes it's hard to just disappear and forget about someone you loved and shared amazing moments with, but in the long run it's less pain than if you stay as her 2nd option. She will just use you until she finds a better candidate.

makes sense?

Yeah I guess I just have always talked to all of my exes. I don't hangout with any of them, but to be honest this girl was different for some reason.. just the way I felt about her and everything. She hurt me pretty badly and I pretty much nagged on her a lot and made her feel like a piece of sh*t.. She admits now she knows she was.. she was 18 then and is 22 now. She is like completely different on a maturity level.. she has a boyfriend currently and I talk to her on occasion but we really don't hangout.. I just enjoy that I can talk to her like a normal person now because we are both over it. I know it will never be what it once was but I care about her as a person.

My bigger dilemma is I'm now on NC with another girl I dated for a few months.. it's been a month today, I'm wondering if I'll be actually talking to her again after a long time passes. I'd hope if she's half a person we will put everything behind us just like I did with my old ex and be able to once again talk.. despite all the bs that has recently happened.