Well done-they re not important and they don't matter anymore.
Enjoy your day.

You did well. Hopefully it won't happen often. If it does, you know what to do. Good job.

Yup, just be myself.

You did well Van and you have been doing it well. Hold your head up high and know you have some people who are mighty proud of you... people who can relate to how hard this all can be.

Stay strong my friend!

Thanks. Appreciate that.

Van I am just catching up here, and if this site had a inspirational poster of the year award you would be the man for 2009. I feel bad sometimes because I'm not sure we are inspiring you or you are getting the same that I know I have gotten from this thread. Watching how you have turned this breakup into not only a time of healing but a time of learning and searching out who one truly is and that connection to others on a deeper level is a great life story. You celebrated 5 months of without her yesterday, but in reality it was a celebration of knowing who you are and who you will become.

Chuff, thanks.

Nice to here from you. You can thank yourself for helping try to get there.
Believe me. You have always been right on it.

Don't wish to be labeled that way, makes me feel weird, but I appreciate that.

Still searching, and celebrating...

Cheers. Van

Hey,

Today is 6 months NC and my last calendar record. No more counting.
Its hard to believe sometimes.

Another major life lesson & Im still learning.

Yeah, there's still thoughts of course, but no longer occupying too much time. They usually aren't pretty ones at this point.

I am grateful for the good things & people I have. That's my focus.

Once again, I raise a glass to everyone here. So glad to have met you all.

I'll be here, but mostly on others' threads & try to give some broken hearted advice.

If it wasn't for all of your advice and encouragement, I would probably still be lost. From the bottom of my heart...

Cheers,
Van

Thanks JL,

Hope you doing OK. I haven't forgotten about you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Thanks JL,

Hope you doin ok. I havent forgotten about you.

---

I am doing very well. It will be 2 months tomorrow since it happened, and I go back to work for the first time tomorrow. I'm sure there will be an adjustment period, but I am ready for it. :)

Right on.
Congrats.

Cool. Works important. I bet you're ready to get back. Gives us purpose & regiment. (coming from a freelancer, hehe)

Im know you will rock it, all in a new way...

Ya know?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Right on.
Congrats.

Cool. Works important. I bet youre ready to get back. Gives us purpose & regiment. (coming from a freelancer, hehe)

Im know you will rock it, all in a new way...

Ya know?

---

Absolutely. :) I already see a positive difference in myself from before 2 months ago, mostly in my motivations and in really appreciating life so much more. I know that is cliché after something like this, but it's so true.

Yeah, those clichés, huh?

That's why they call them that. They're true...

Others life lessons that we tend to ignore.

So, glad to hear it, JL. Makes me happy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Yeah, those cliches, huh?

Thats why they call them that. Theyre true...

Others life lessons that we tend to ignore.

So, glad to hear it, JL. Makes me happy.

---

Van,

Congratulations on making it to this juncture. By helping others you might just complete your healing. Way to go, dude!

Tao

Appreciate that, Tao.
I owe a lot to you.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by vanheart

Appreciate that, Tao.
I owe a lot to you.

---

We grew together, Vanheart, all of us.

I'm very interested in understanding how we (you, in this instance) learn to attach ourselves to other people, how we make and break bonds in various contexts. For example, we don't know each other in person, yet we care about each other in the context of our shared emotional experience. I'm wondering how more of that can happen in the world, and how it can be accelerated via the web.

Any ideas? Anyone?

Tao

Quote:

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Originally Posted by supermannnnnn

Sorry for sounding harsh but be a man! I been through this road once and was heartbroken. I know it hurts. I really do. It feels like your heart falls to your stomach and stays there.

---

Maybe he needs to be on that road before he takes the next to recovery.. I agree that you should follow the rules though , for a faster recovery :)

Will give that one some thought, Tal.

I mean Tao, hehehe...

Tao,
Amhd is a great example.
The dedication especially in relationships.

I think the key is contact.
There's been so much money made in the self-help genre & to its discredit, no real interactive experience.

This lies somewhere between sites like this and targeted social networking sites.
"Causes" if you will. Like minded people.

Making & breaking bonds is an interesting notion & what is behind all of that. Could be a college degree at some point.

What you are proposing is one of experience. Not the desperate "How do I get my girlfriend back" sort of thing. One that is rooted in further development of us as humans and how we deal with relationships. After all, our lives are all about that. Most importantly the relationship we have with ourselves and how we make decisions.

I could see this as a virtual conference like TED or many others that happen globally and frequently. BUT, has to be relevant, timely and reach people on that human level. (not positioned too lofty, cerebral or self-help-ish.

Lets keep this conversation going. I like this.

I went through almost the same situation quite recently, (why I just became a member to this site.. and saw your question through searches). I just want to say that I think you did your best to give her your all, and now you deserve to give the same to yourself. (Maybe I should take some of m y own advice.) Im going through the same immense guilt myself.. except I was the one who ended it. I had one who would tell me grand fantasies about how much he loved me and what we would do.. to never show me in action. To this day I wondered why he wouldn't come and visit someone who was so important to him... anyway.

As an artist myself keep going with your art and never stop, its very theraputic, and will help you through the hardest times. I know it's been my best friend.

*ahem* Now forgive me for what I'm about to say, but, take it as a compliment from a young lady. It sounds like you're a great catch! I would have loved to have a guy jump out of his seat and book a flight just to see me, or be with me through a hard time. (Mine never did.)

So, don't give up. Keep healing.