Ask Me Help Desk - My heart walked out the door

... damn.

We'll see how long that lasts... good god.

Dear Missing... I hope you meant that sarcasticly when you said 'happy news', but in a sense you should be... because you are better off without him. Could you imagine living with an insecure man like him, seriously?

If he is basically a good guy, we can hope he has good influence on the children so that they get off on a good start in their lives - none of this is their fault and I wish them all the best in the world.

And you.. you've been through a lot, seen a lot, so evidently are learning a lot - use what you learned and make the best of it, dear.

Good luck.

Cher

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

The universe takes care of itself. Hope he has a good job.

You really think so tal?

My friends call me "karma" because I "never get what I deserve" (I do bad things, and I never get what's coming to me)...

What were you doing with a person like that in the first place??

You ought to ask yourself that.

Don't repeat it by having low self-esteem and taking anything that comes your way...

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ash123

what were you doing with a person like that in the first place????

you ought to ask yourself that.

don't repeat it by having low self-esteem and taking anything that comes your way....

Ash he obviously wasn't like that in the first place or I wouldn't have spent 7 yrs with him...

As for my self-esteem, I'm doing fine. He's the idiot... not me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissingHim2Much

Ash he obviously wasn't like that in the first place or I wouldn't have spent 7 yrs with him...

As for my self-esteem, i'm doing fine. He's the idiot.....not me.

LOL! Truly truly... he does sound like an idiot. Your sense of humor will take you far. :D

Quote:

Originally Posted by susangpyp

LOL!! Truly truly...he does sound like an idiot. Your sense of humor will take you far. :D

Susan
You should go back and read "Missings" story , she's been through hell and now she's doing real good.
And yes this guy turned into an idiot , but that doesn't necessarily mean he always was.

How much sleep is he getting? Ha ha ha
He will resent the b___h sooner or later, just "sit by the river and bodies of your enemies will float by"-tolstoy

It doesn't sound like he's the only idiot, 6 kids, all with different fathers? Those poor kids, I'm more concerned about them, they are the innocents in a very uninnocent world.
Now I'm depressed.:(

Quote:

Originally Posted by cerisa

how much sleep is he getting? ha ha ha
he will resent the b___h sooner or later, just "sit by the river and bodies of your enemies will float by"-tolstoy

Well cerisa sleeping won't be his problem seeing how he could sleep through a 4 alarm fire but rumor has it he's the one that takes care of all the kids because she doesn't want to be bothered with them. (HIS WORDS). So I've heard that he already resents the b_tch, but not my problem hehehe

Glad that you feel that way, Missing - about him and his sleep, I mean.

As far as kids - they are the ones I worry about and hope all the best for them - no matter who their parents are.

I had a neighbor who also had 6 kids - and each a different father. The fourth child, a wonderful little girl, found a world of her own in numbers. You would not believe how this child just went through math like it was the easiest thing in the world - she played 'school' on a blackboard and was only 4 years old at that time. Now she's in her 20's and still the best mathmetician I ever met - got a great job and is out of the parental 'ghetto'. So when some kids 'escape', there is hope in them finding their own place and get stronger. They have a right to survive!

POWER TO THE INNOCENT KIDS!

I must say, I'm a little surprised with all the bashing going on in here.

I don't think it's right to revel in anothers misfortunes (perceived misfortunes mind you). Who is anybody on this site to judge? He has a lot of kids, perhaps he can handle them all, perhaps they will grow up proper, at least you know they will have much family support.

Taking pleasure in bashing someone is just not right, especially when it is doneto make yourself feel better. Oh look at him, look at her, aren't they pathetic... I don't care for that. What concerns me is that for all the"learning" taking place here, Missing has written and entire thread devoted to explaining the lives of others in which she has no part in, how is that moving on?? Also, proceeded to rain judgement down upon their actions, How is that learning?? Seems to me that it is obsessive, focusing on the activities of others rather than your own.

I'm not being mean so don't take it like that, I'm being honest. Missing, if you have healed and have moved on this thread would never have been written, how is it that you get all this first hand information anyway?? Looking under stones I would think, not a smart idea.

If anything, hopefully this post will clarify whatperhaps you should befocusingon in order to TRULY rid yourself of this situation, anything less will only hurt you more.

All the best.

Quote:

Originally Posted by BMI

I must say, I'm a little surprised with all the bashing going on in here.

I don't think it's right to revel in anothers misfortunes (perceived misfortunes mind you). Who is anybody on this site to judge? He has alot of kids, perhaps he can handle them all, perhaps they will grow up proper, at least you know they will have much family support.

Taking pleasure in bashing someone is just not right, especially when it is doneto make yourself feel better. Oh look at him, look at her, arn't they pathetic......I don't care for that. What concerns me is that for all the"learning" taking place here, Missing has written and entire thread devoted to explaining the lives of others in which she has no part in, how is that moving on??? Also, proceeded to rain judgement down upon their actions, How is that learning??? Seems to me that it is obsessive, focusing on the activities of others rather than your own.

I'm not being mean so don't take it like that, I'm being honest. Missing, if you have healed and have moved on this thread would never have been written, how is it that you get all this first hand information anyway??? Looking under stones I would think, not a smart idea.

If anything, hopefully this post will clarify whatperhaps you should befocusingon in order to TRULY rid yourself of this situation, anything less will only hurt you more.

All the best.

It's a little surprising to me that all you've seen is bashing. I too feel sorry for the children and I'm sorry if I haven't made that clear. And if it seems to you that all I do is bash my ex well I'm sorry for that too, but I'm angry about some of the things he's done to me and I feel a little bashing to get some anger out is not so bad... It's not as if you know his name or anything like that so I'm not exactly humiliating him in public.

He's a nameless, faceless person that none of you know so what's the harm. I was under the impression that this was a place to vent and cry and yes sometimes get piss'd off because we've experienced a lot of pain.

I spent a lot of years with a person that was my closest friend and we shared a lot together. Not only was I not expecting him to just pick up and leave for a co-worker I wasn't expecting him to buy and new car with me a year ago and just leave me with the payments and I wasn't expecting him to get a new place with me and leave me with the rent to pay on my own.

When he walked away with no warning he left me with a car payment that was due, rent was due, the phone bill, the electric, the gas and the cable. I barely crawled out of the hole he left me in and yeah I'm a little piss'd. All of this from someone that claimed to be my soul mate and best friend.

So I'm sorry if I offended you in anyway. That wasn't my intention.

Dear Missing,

The point of my thread was not that I felt it wrong for you to bash him because of identity issues or anything of the sort. It was intended to perhaps show you how much of a part he is playing in your life, how much his actions control your emotions, how anger ties you to the past. You may use this board to vent, but its intention, I would hope, is to help you, help you learn and grow, help remove those feeling you harbor towards him, they are not healthy for you and unless you identify and correct them you will be forever tied to them.

I have no issue with you feeling betrayed and telling us about it, my concern is not that his identity will be found out, it is simply your mindset. It is one thing to hurt and feel sad, it is quite another to prolong that hurt and sadness by updating yourself on his life, a life which does not include you. Please don't apologize to me for what you write, instead I hope you'll think about YOURSELF, your life, your well-being, not his. It must be difficult, sounds like he really treated you bad, but you will get better.

All the best.

I'm glad you aren't caught up in the madness anymore.

I hope he and she can pull it together for the kids. Children, unfortunately, are the ones who most often suffer from their parents ignorance and bad choices.

Heck, my nemesis still lives in the same building, so I know what enormous energy it takes to forget everything and go on without remembering the pain. He also has some of my things and I have tried to forget about that too. It just sometimes is not that easy, especially when confronted on an almost daily basis. We all have a right to our anger and it is nice to be able to just vent when we feel it getting at us again. We all are humans and have our feelings - not unemotional robots.

Wishing the best for all who suffer like us and hope we all can go on without too much emotional turmoil.

So, Missing, feel the anger and vent, and then go out to a park and see and feel nicer things to help you feel better, love.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/15/15_9_16.gif

Missing, better bashing him here than in person. I know what you have been through, I hope you find a better life soon. You deserve it.

I want to thank everyone for supporting me, and I know you do. It helps more then I can say. It's hard when so many members of my family work with my ex and his girlfriend, they think I need to know his every move and they can't seem to see I don't need to know so much. I've hinted that I shouldn't know everything he does but I guess they haven't quite taken the hint.

And I want everyone to know that my anger isn't consuming my life. I have two sons that I am very close to and would do anything for me. I also have a beautiful granddaughter that's the light of my life.

I was hoping by now that the pain he has caused me would be a distant memory but I know that 7 yrs can't just be erased in a matter of months. All I can say is I truly am getting better even if it doesn't show here.

Thanks again to everyone

From one grandma to another, we are here for you any time you need to vent, honey. Just as you have been here for me and my troubles.

http://smileys.smileycentral.com/cat/8/8_4_147.gif