You go boy! That's the right attitude you have now keep her on a short leash don't play her games anymore she messed up so she can try to fix it now if she does feel guilty then that's her prob not yours isn't it amazing how now when her little tantrum comes to an end she comes crawling back prob wondering why you didn't come chasing after her or bombarding her with phone calls and texts she now realises your a lot more of a man then she thought you were. As for that mutual friend something doesn't add up with him why is he so bothered if you guys are talking or not by the sounds of it your right he is enjoying this I think the next time he tries to pass you a message from her you should simply say listen mate that's between me and her when and if I want to meet her that's my call I don't need to be constantly reminded I'm well aware of the situation and yea he prob will tell her that butmark my words she will only try harder to get in contact with you, I'm so happy everything is working out for you once those few weeks pass when your so down and almost suffering withdrawl symptons yourmind becomes clear and its laughable the way youthought before. You are finally in control so make sure you keep it that way you deserve all you can get from life and I'm sure an even better looking woman than jennifer aniston will come along ha ha

Your friends attitude is a big headache, and you do need to get him out of your business, once and for all.

Thank you both for your comments! Yeah, our friend... emailed me today on MYSPACE and Facebook... he had asked me what I was doing today and I told him... anyway... I asked what he was doing... and you know what he said??

He said that he was hanging out with my EX!!

What the heck? Why is he telling me that? Does he want me to ask about her? Or what he's talking to her about? If they are talking about me... etc etc etc...

Hey guys, I didn't answer him back. I'm sure even he now. Is wondering why not. If he is with my ex.. believe me he is showing her all my emails that I sent him before my head got clear. I'm sure they are both dying to hear from me today...

Its like BAIT. They give me a little bit.. and want me to take it so they can just reel me in and then cut me loose.

What do youall think? I'm I handling this the right way?? Please comment if you can.

But... fyi... to be honest... I do want to reply... even if only to not mention her. But of course, I'm not.

And now come to think of it... im pissed because he should know better not to manipulate my emotions like that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

and now come to think of it....im pissed because he should know better not to manipulate my emotions like that.

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Be mindful of your emotions, my young friend, after all, they are your responsibility are they not? Do the choices you make not influence them? Perhaps you may consider pondering this idea.
"An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast. A wild beast may hurt your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind. Avoid all hottie, conceded proud and arrogant minds. And remain peaceful and subdued."-Buddha

Mmmm id say reply but don't mention her what so ever then when he does show her the e-mail she will be wondering even more what's going on! Then the next time its just your man and yourself tell him straight out you don't appreciate it I think he is trying to be her knight in shining armour he obviously has a thing for her whether he will admit it or not that's not what a friend should be doing to you he should be trying to help both of you get over one another not take her side and try to betray your trust in him by showing her all your e-mails don't take the bait on this one play along and anoy them and whatever you do don't bring her up in any way let her stew for a while she deserves it :)

Thanks! I will keep the NC and will tell him not to bring her up... let her stew... and yeah, I don't think he's too much my friend anymore.. gonna distance myself from him.

Hi everyone...

I got a question for you all... I live in san antonio, Texas and this week is fiesta week. It's a big party all week long!

Anyway, tonight there is a party at this public place... everyone goes there. My question is: what do I do if I run into my ex??

Any advice would be helpful... do I greet her? Ignore her? etc...

THNKS!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

hi everyone....................

i got a question for you all.... i live in san antonio, texas and this week is fiesta week. its a big party all week long!

anyway, tonight there is a party at this public place...everyone goes there. my question is: what do i do if i run into my ex????

any advice would be helpful...do i greet her? ignore her? etc....

THNKS!!

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What do you think is best, as we only know a little of the puzzle where as you see all the pieces, we just know how they may fit best for us to see the whole picture. Know what I mean?

GO, but DO NOT DRINK, as it will highten your feelings of anxiety, and your brain function will be low, and then the anxiety may make it much worse. That means, you may say and do things you will realize are stupid later, and then you will suffer more. Go have fun, if you see her and she comes to talk say hi but leave it at that. Try to keep it short and move away from her if you have to, as you are still upset over "her and you" but don't approacher, even if you see her, let her do that if she will.

That's what I suggest, either that or just don't go and chill do something else. IF it's a yearly thing, there will be one next year.

Peace.

Hello my friend,. All I can tell you from all of my past experiences is. "If she can walk away from you right now, She could always walk away from you anytime... make up your mind... Your decisio will be base on your judgement.. goodluck...

All relationships... you need self respect. Or it's just not going to work. I felt there was little hope until I read that part. THen I knew for sure it was gone

Ugh.. I hadn't realized I was like months late. For the party I think you should take some friends who can keep you in the right mind. Have loads of fun. It's life's candy. Just don't mind her at all. She's not worth it

The desperation and obsessive behavior you show towards his girl could be what's pushing her away. If she wants to leave let her go. Move on with your life if you 2 are destined for each other you'll find one another again @ the right time.

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Originally Posted by unknown2world

Reading this as a womens prospective I have to say maybe you can improve how u treat her and show her some respect. Women want nothing more then respect. They want to feel like they are on top of the world

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Respectfully, I beg to differ. You can read my story and you would realize that I just treated my girl right, but she tossed me aside and created a big mess.

My perspective is that some people are wired to react in a certain way. Coming back to the question of the original post, I think you are burning dollars to retain a quarter (if that makes sense). If you move on, regain yourself respect, make something better out of your life, always make sure that you are associating yourself with people who would respect you.. you will realize that the 'beautiful' girl you carried like a 'trophy' girlfriend was not worth it.

I can tell you from my own experience.. because my ex was way beyond my league, and I feel great getting out of it because carrying that relationship was just a big burden.

HI EVERYONE!!

AN update... well, I went out that night but I didn't see her... I wasn't looking for her either. I was just having fun with my friends.

Anyway, here's the deal:

SHE JUST WROTE TO ME ON FACEBOOK!?

I haven't looked at it yet but I find it very interesting that she is emailing me on Facebook to begin with? She knew that I gave her a deadline... shes over it by 3 days to be exact.

Anyway, ill let you all know what she said to me tomorrow but she BROKE the NC rule... NOT ME!

:)

Ps... what do you all make of what she did?

Well maybe she will state her reason for breaking the nc rule in her email, keep us posted, don't put too much into it so your not disappointed if she does not say something that you want to hear

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

HI EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!

AN update......well, i went out that night but i didnt see her...i wasnt looking for her either. i was just having fun with my friends.

Anyway, heres the deal:

SHE JUST WROTE TO ME ON FACEBOOK! ????

i havent looked at it yet but i find it very interesting that she is emailing me on facebook to begin with? she knew that i gave her a deadline...shes over it by 3 days to be exact.

anyway, ill let you all know what she said to me tomorrow but she BROKE the NC rule..........NOT ME!

:)

ps.......what do you all make of what she did?

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I don't know enough about Facebook to answer this but does it show the last time you logged in? If it does, I suggest you DO NOT go read the email. Because she is going to constantly check Facebook to see the last time you logged on, and then she's going to wonder why you are refusing to read her email.

Who knows why she sent it. Mind control probably. That is why I say, do not log on.

Oh OK chuff! I don't know if it shows the time... but that's cool... I won't log on till mid afternoon tomorrow.

Yeah, I'm not having false hope... she probably is just going to say mean things to me. You know, the usual shi% anyway, I'm really happy though that she broke NC and is at least saying somehting even if its for me to go Guck myself... lol

It is her form of mind control she doesn't like the fact that I just dropped out of her life just like that... since I've never done that before. She was the one and then id come crawling back

You see our mutual friend said that she really wanted to talk to me 2 weeks ago but I didn't say a word about that. :)

So nowhere for her to go but directly to me right? That's what everyone here says... if she want to get in touch with you then she will find a way. So she found one today.

The bad thing is that my feeling have changed about her. And not to lower myself to her level but everyone, if I would take her back, my respect for her is very low. I think that I would mistreat her this time... nothing violent or anything but just really ambivalent... u know? I don't know... apar to f me says that but another part just wants to have a drama free girlfriend that loves him and I love her. It is that simple.

When I went out... I had 8 women igive me their pohne numbers and they were decent. One was a stripper she was a knockout. Anyway, its like now that I'm not tied down to one woman at this things... the chicks notcie this and the party is on! I liked it. I think I liked it too much.

Nah, I didn't hook up with them... at least not yet... dont want to do that right now.

Anyway, I am worried though guys... help me out... I have bad
Feeling that she wants to "talk" to me... meet with me soon to talk about us. I don't want to get set up here... if I go, and she says to me that she was right and that she's glad she left me... dam but if she says that she wants to marry me... then what? I would have married her in a heart beaat 4 months ago, but now I'm kindda scared with all the advice that everyone's been giving me.

Believe it or not... I don't have anything... im poor you know. I make like 30000 yr. and she spends money like crazy. She has a good job 55$ but the thing is I feel so bad for saying this but I had an epiphany:

II WILL NEVER GET MARRIED WITHOUT A PRENUP... because if she could easily do this now, can you imagine? That's a whole lot of pain

Hey everyone...

I'm going to take chuffs advice and not open up my Facebook, it might show the time I logged in... till tonight... let her keep checking to see if I answered her ;) play some games on her mind this time... ha ha... besides, I have other things to do then answer her.

Way to play games... there are so many words I want to call you right now, but I would be banned by the mods...

Facebook DOES NOT show you when you read a message or when you logged on. It is extremely private in that nature. Delete the stupid thing and move on. Quit playing games. Page 54 buddy... we should be farther along by now. Send me the message so I can decipher it for you... :cool:

I would bet it's something to string you along, like that she misses you, as a friend. You will take that as you still have a shot and be there when she needs you and she'll drop you when someone comes along. Just delete the message and save yourself the trouble

Aren't you dizzy from going around in circles?

INSANITY-DOING THE SAME DUMB SHAT OVER AND OVER, AND EXPECTING DIFFERENT RESULTS.

Tell you what, You will never be happy until you go talk to this female in person. Do so, without telling your mutual friend! Don't leave until you are together again, or she will leave you the frakk alone.

Above all dumpthe mutual friend, like you should have a long time ago.

Hey crazyoverher how old are you?

Romefalls...

U were exactly right. Her Facebook message was: "i just wanted to see how you were doing............." blah blah...

I was reading it and she saw me online and then started to talk to me. To be honest I don't remember what I wrote because I was drinking. Anyway... I do remember that I was rude to her and just signed off abruptly...

Noticed today she sent me another email... wt hel? Is going on with her guys??

She puts "single" on her face book page because our mutual friend told me that she did.. I have never gone to her page because I don't want to and there's no need... yet she emails me.

I was doing VERY well, until she did that crap yesterday... im not on a pity party... its just werid that she does this type of thing... remember guys, I DID not email her... and she just I'm me on Facebook.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

romefalls.................

u were exactly right.

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Romefalls has 55 pages of being right. Start reading them. I'm pretty sure the answer is there somewhere... on every page.

Which is worse, hurting yourself, or letting someone hurt you??

Either way your hurt.

The point being that blaming her for your hurt is bogus.

I have a Facebook, I know there is a way to block users from e-mailing you. DO IT! When I went through my break up, I stayed off myspace only to have my ex follow me to Facebook. I found out by my friend telling me she sent him a friend request. So I've been in your shoes, delete every message from her. Don't feed the confusion

Romefalls... talaniman.. chuff... kctiger... all of you! And everyone else who's helped me out...

Here's the update...

I get an email from her still from Facebook... I don't reply... she keeps sending them to me. I don't say anything. She writes me on myspace... I stick to it.

She then texts my phone! How she got the number I don't know.. probably from our mutual friend...

Then she calls me and leaves me 3 messages... 3 in 3 days...

Then she calls and I accidentally pick it up... because I don't have her number listed in my phone anymore so I don't know who is calling...

Anyway... she talks to me and asks how I doing... etc. then she says that she wants to go to happy hour with me,her treat. I say I can't because of whatever... then she says that she wants to go out with me... I said that my schedule is busy... then she says that I can't be busy "every day" and that at least I can meet her for a quick drink this Friday. I say OK, just for a bit.

That was yesterday, now she is texting me 4 times a day... with stupid stuff like... "i wish i wasnt working today" and "come by for lunch if you can...my treat...etc"

What's up with that? I figure that she just wants to see that I'm doing OK. I don't know, maybe she just wants to use me until she finds another... anyway... thats the update.

I know you all hate me for being here, after your advice. I understand and I got to say that although it may not seem like it, I have changed my thinking about her and about what is best for me about that relationship. But I'm curious to see what she wants...

Seems like she wants back into your life. Do you want her back in? Use caution my friend.

Tread carefully, don't go in with a heart full of hope as it will be a disaster. Enjoy the drink, still be unavailable and DO NOT answer every text, you've been doing good let's not go back to page 1 er 35

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

i know you all hate me for being here, after your advice.

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We don't hate you, we hate that you are going to do this to yourself when it is clear what is happening. It's like telling your child tie your shoes and they never listen. At some point you just have to let them trip over and take the pain to learn the lesson.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

i understand and i gotta say that although it may not seem like it, i have changed my thinking about her and about what is best for me about that relationship. but im curious to see what she wants...

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What she wants is to suck you back in. You already know that. I think you should text her back on Friday and cancel and tell her if she'd like to reschedule she can call you sometime next week as you have a busy weekend.

Well Hello everyone out there!!

Boy what a story to tell you... ill just give you the facts and you take it from there... any 2cents good or bad or whatever... I will appreciate.

So, I did meet her 3 weeks ago. She bought me lunch and asked me out the next day.

We went out, and wound up intimate with each other... me staying the night. Next day, says she loves me and wants me back. She says that she wants me to meet her parents and arranges it for 1 week from today.

I tell her that we have big issues before that could happen and she listens.. we both do. And so far so good... she has changed her stripes from being a cold Bit.. she is treating me great. I am returning the favor. It looks like all is well.

Now... heres where the tale gets squiggly. We both have Facebook. We add each other as friends. She sees my friend and tells me to delete HER because she is jealous of her and to not have any more contact with her... my "gf" feels threatned by her. I comply.

Today, I go to her Facebook and notice a comment by some dude. Nothing bad just... "yeah, lets get together sometime" on its surface nothing bad... we both have friends... BUT

I check back online later today and noticed that she DELETLED his "comment" to her. Hmmmmm interesting. Now why would she do that? Is she trying to hide something or is she doing it because she thinks that I would get jealous?

In any event, I called her out on it. I sent her an email and I will see what she has to say about it tomorrow.

So then people, that is that... im ready for all of your comments. Harsh or not. I HAVE taken your advice for some time and it has worked out just as you have told me it would.. and so now, I need to get a bunch of opinions about the latest update. She is NOT like she was to me... but I want to know what you all think.

Thanks!

Oh yeah... she apologized big time for treating me like she did etc... and so far so good...

I'm not looking for a fairy tale response from everyone... just your honest opinion considering ALL that I have gone through!!

And guys... there is no more drama as of now. She has cried many times already about how much she loves me... etc... just an fyi.

FIFTY SIX pages of guidance and help directed solely at you and dealing with this girl. Not one bit of it used or listened too. She's going to do what she always does, and you are going to start the same procedure over and wonder why.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

1. she sees my friend and tells me to delete HER because she is jealous of her and to not have any more contact with her...my "gf" feels threatned by her. i comply.

2. today, i go to her facebook and notice a comment by some dude. nothing bad just..."yeah, lets get together sometime" on its surface nothing bad...we both have friends....BUT i check back online later today and noticed that she DELETLED his "comment" to her. hmmmmm interesting. now why would she do that? is she trying to hide something or is she doing it because she thinks that i would get jealous?

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The first one is a HUGE red flag. She can't tell you what to do, why are you letting her? That move just gave her power she has longed for.

The second one is telling you she's already hiding things from you, thus, another red flag.


C'mon man, I've read this whole story, you will be back to the same routine again. Don't do this to yourself...

Too late.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_i...s/viewpost.gif
I admit i have NO self respect anymore and she probably doesnt respect me ..but i dont care...i want what i want and i want her!!!! please help me. what do you think? and if i have NC with her then, she will break up with me im sure and i dont want that....

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This is where you started. And now you have what you want, and still aren't happy.

Quote:

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i HAVE taken your advice for some time and it has worked out just as you have told me it would.

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This is not true. You have done everything but what you have been advised, and now your at square one again. But you got the girl so..!

Quote:

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I need to get a bunch of opinions about the latest update. She is NOT like she was to me... but I want to know what you all think.

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And now we are back to you analyzing everything all over again.

Either do as she says and have what you want... her. Or quit going in circles, and resolve your issues.

I don't know if it's my lack of sleep but man reading these two posts from AJ and Tal and it just makes me so mad at YOUR situation because they are so dead on and you are going to get used again. Scratch that, you've already been used. I mean, I honesty am shaking here at this. What should I care, I don't have anything to do with you or her, but just reading there TWO post makes it so clear you haven't learned a damn thing and she's got you wrapped around her finger even after all this.

You know what you need. A pair of balls. AJ highlights that she tells you to do something, and not only did you, you actually used the words "I comply." Not even the word agree, which it is not but the word "comply" That is exactly what it is. Such a clear and obvious test, and she won and you lost. You should have told her it's your site and you'll do what you want. But that requires a pair.

Then Tal goes back and finds where you said you are trading yourself respect for a woman that doesn't respect you just to be with her. If you don't respect yourself, why would she or any other woman want you? There are some things in this life worth more then money. Self respect is one of those things. I can't think of one woman on that is worth that, and I can tell you for a fact after knowing about your girl since February if there was a woman worth a guy's self respect this woman is not her.

I've done some stupid things for a girls and I've been hurt because of some of those things, but when some female wants to take myself respect, I get very angry and very defensive. Some things a woman does not get and some things a woman does not deserve. Yourself respect, pride, dignity, and manhood are those things. You should be mad as hell that you are acting this way, and instead you are just thrilled she acknowledges you as though she is worth it. Fifty six pages and nothing's changed, how can she be worth it? HOW?

Quote:

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Today, I go to her Facebook and notice a comment by some dude. Nothing bad just... "yeah, lets get together sometime" on its surface nothing bad... we both have friends... BUT

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What are you doing with someone you feel compelled to keep tabs on, AND question there motives?

Quote:

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Fifty six pages and nothing's changed, how can she be worth it? HOW?

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??