Ok-enough said-no more contact-and please-move on.
You have a life to live.

Hey guys- As anyone that's been following my thread knows my ex fiancé lives 1 1/2 hours from me. This weekend there's a party that my friend wants me to go to that's 5 minutes from my ex's house. Now that its been over 4 months since the break up I wonder if maybe I could handle meeting up for some drinks like she mentioned. I know I probably shouldn't but is there any good out of meeting her or will it just give me a lot more pain?

Judging by all your RECENT posts here, I'd say that is definitely not a good idea. I think you know this already!

NC, buddy.

I know its not but I had to post on here because I had this strong urge to contact her because I'll be so close. I'm thinking even if she did meet it probably wouldn't go good. I was 5 minutes from her house a few weeks ago and I never sent 1 text or drove by or anything. I guess I was just curious to see if she'd try to weasel her way out of seeing me. Please someone talk me out of contacting her when I'm there!

I knew you were going to say that Van haha I guess there would be no good coming out of seeing her then :(

Ask & you shall receive, hehehe...

Yeah, it will only end up hurting & set you back. You are not healed yet.

You gone 4 months, you don't want to destroy any progress you've already made.

Once you are over her & this, then you can consider doing that. But, you may find that you don't even want to at that point.

That's the only reason that I mentioned it- because I'm thinking I may be over things enough where it won't hurt to see her. I'm probably wrong though because if she mentioned a guy that she's seeing or something like that it will kill. Not to mention the last time I texted her back I was kind of mean saying not to send anymore lame guilty/pity texts to me and saying how I think its funny how she's afraid to call me.

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I'm probably wrong though because if she mentioned a guy that she's seeing or something like that it will kill.

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You have answered your own question. Until you honestly don't care, stay with NC, period.

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Originally Posted by talaniman

You have answered your own question. Until you honestly don't care, stay with NC, period.

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Thanks Tal- I'm going to listen to your guys advice. Its so tempting to see her because I still miss her but I don't need any more pain right now. That's why I had to post on here today- I need it hammered into my head:cool:

Hey guys- well Christmas came and went now and I never heard from my ex. I guess the text I sent her 3 weeks ago was enough to have her give up on trying to message me. I was kind of upset that I didn't hear from her because I would have liked to know she was thinking of me. I should have assumed I wouldn't have being that I told her her texts were "lame and guilty/pity" texts. Oh well. Was it better that she didn't message me?

Of course man! Try to not even think of her. Don't let one woman have that control, especially one that isn't around.

Yes it was, now you know.

So in another week it will be 5 months from the day I found out it was over for good with my fiancé. I don't know if its because of the holidays or just the winter blues but I have found myself thinking of her still. Is this normal to still be thinking of her a decent amount after almost 5 months? I thought by now I wouldn't think of her much.

What's making it worse is I realize from talking to other girls that I'm still not over her and I'm ruining anything that might come my way and also I still compare everyone to her. Part of me wouldn't mind hearing from her and I'm hurt that there's a chance I may never talk to her again and that's depressing.

There are other things to do besides date girls. Guy fun is still FUN!!

Update- Its been a little over 5 months now since my ex fiancé dumped me suddenly. She keeps texting me and a month ago I told her to stop sending me her lame guilty/pity texts and so I never thought I'd hear from her again.

However last night she texted me again because she wanted to know how I was doing. I didn't want to be nice to her because I knew that would start up a conversation and I don't want any false hope.

I wasn't too nice to her and told her that she should be ashamed of herself for the way she treated me thruout our relationship and told her I hope she doesn't believe in karma. I'm hurt because I still wouldn't mind getting back with her but I dodnt think she has any intentions of that.

Why won't she just go away? Is she just trying to relieve more guilt? I really thought I'd never hear from her after I was rude to her the last time. Is she trying to keep me as her backup? She never gave ANY indication she wants me back whatsoever. I don't want to be rude to her because I once loved her more than anything but don't want to be nice and give myself false hope. I know people say no contact but its just too hard not to respond to her.

Yup guilt.

And you keep playing into it.

If had gone NC, you wouldn't have these questions.

Pretty soon she'll get the message.

What do you mean by pretty soon she'll get the message? Why after 5 months is she still trying to relieve guilt? Was it good how I was rude to her?

Matbe she wants to be your pal, now.

I mean if you go NC & continue to not respond, she will get it.

You already told her not to contact you unless she wants to reconcile.

Don't play this game anymore.

Well she said hey and I said haven't you hurt me enough already and she said I'm really sorry I just wanted to see how you were doing. I said you have to be kidding me- I don't need your guilty.pity texts anymore. When she didn't respond I said that she should be ashamed of herself for what she did to me thruout our relationship... I told her not to contact me unless she wants to get back together 2 months ago but she doesn't listen. I would love to be friends with her but the problem is that I would want more than that and I don't want false hope. Even if I did no contact just her contacting me messes with my head and then I have dreams of her and start thinking about her.

Yeah, I know. Its tough, but worth it in the long run.

You can't be friends until there are no romantic expectations, so what's the point? Don't hang on to false hope or misconstrue why she contacts you. The point is she doesn't want a relationship, so no need to waste any more of your time on this.

There's others out there.