Ask Me Help Desk

Ask Me Help Desk (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forum.php)
-   Relationships (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/forumdisplay.php?f=277)
-   -   I am doing NC. What about her? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=161688)

  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:04 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Update:

    So... the phone calls have been regular. Once a day. Apparently, one of my ex's old friends and her got together for dinner, had a chat about how they should mend things, and overall, nothing really came of it... but they did tell each other their sides. After their dinner (I knew of this dinner as the friend told me they were having dinner) I got 2 calls from my ex... ignored both.

    Today, as I was out with a friend of mine, I get two calls... back to back. The second one, finally... a voice mail. The message is:

    I know you don't want to talk to me... but I'm not sure how you want to fix things if you don't pick up my calls. I'm hoping you have some desire to fix things. I hope you pick up the next time I call you, or I hope you at least e-mail me... ok. Bye.

    Obviously, this girl did not plan her message. The message seems like she's just trying to get things better for the sake of things getting better... but it also seems like there's a bit of blame involved. It wasn't "I'm sorry and I want to talk to you about it..." or "I want to apologize..." it was... "why don't you want to fix this mess?"

    I'm not sure. Any takers?
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:12 PM
    Wondergirl
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    I know you don't want to talk to me...but I'm not sure how you want to fix things if you don't pick up my calls. I'm hoping you have some desire to fix things. I hope you pick up the next time I call you, or I hope you at least e-mail me...ok. bye.

    I love it! - "I'm not sure how you want to fix things if you don't pick up my calls".

    By not picking up her calls, aren't you sending a message??

    What still has to be fixed? I thought it was over and done with. Hasn't she gotten that message yet? What is she holding out for, i.e. what would your contacting her accomplish?

    And it's all your fault, Sneezy.
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:14 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    I KNOW!. bad sneezy, bad.

    I thought she got the message when she didn't call me Saturday or Sunday... just seems like she was taking a break.

    One of the few reasons I'm holding out is because I don't see how calling her would benefit me. Alty's right in that once I call her and we talk, she'll feel better, but that's it. It'll do nothing for me.

    I guess I'm the everlasting bad guy who's just being stubborn and not wanting to fix things... gimme a break.
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:15 PM
    Wondergirl
    What has to be fixed? (besides her pride)
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:16 PM
    Alty
    Okay Sneezy, here's my advice,

    You owe her nothing. This is her guilt talking. She still thinks that she can just call you, say something sweet and have you in the palm of her hands. She's ticked because she's not getting what she wants. Now she's trying to play the guilt card. "Why don't you want to fix this mess?", you already did fix it. You moved on, you're living your life, you owe her nothing.

    This girl wants to have her cake and eat it too. She doesn't want to be your girlfriend, she split up with you, now she's lonely, she realizes she burned allot of bridges behind her and she's back pedalling. She's trying to place the blame on you, don't you dare let her. You are not to blame, you do not need to do anything you don't want to do.

    I say stick with NC, hopefully she'll get the message sooner or later (probably later, she's not taking the hint so far). You stay strong, don't let this get to you. You are a great guy and you can do way better.

    Hope this helps sweetie.
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:19 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    It does :) thanks lady!

    I'm not so sure she's all too lonely though. Word on the street is that she's moving in with her current boyfriend next year... would you imagine that? Dating for 2 months and moving in... I laugh at it. Heh.
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:21 PM
    Wondergirl
    Who do we want to feel better--her or Sneezy?
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:24 PM
    Alty
    I vote Sneezy, the h@ll with her. Oooh, she's not going to come on here and rant I hope. You're not going to pull a Guy, are you Sneezy? Guy, kidding. ;)
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:25 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Eh, I couldn't care less if she reads this entire post. Regardless, I'm not that guy.

    EDIT: and by the phrase "i'm not that guy"... I'm not referring to... guy.. . does that make sense?
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:26 PM
    Wondergirl
    Then it sounds like it's unanimous--NC continues.
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:28 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Yep. Anyone oppose?

    ... ::waits::

    ... didn't think so.

    Thanks ladies.
  • Apr 14, 2008, 08:33 PM
    Alty
    Anytime sweet stuff, anytime.
  • Apr 15, 2008, 01:21 AM
    starbuck8
    Silly me, I mailed in my vote via pony express... so it is late!

    ------1 more vote for NC--- from Canada ;)

    Ps, Free boats do wonders for picking up hot chicks! LOL!
  • Apr 15, 2008, 06:52 AM
    Romefalls19
    You got a vote to stay on the NC train... From here from The Dirty Jerzey


    We shall all stay on the same train... I figure when we broke up with our ex's we said everything we needed to say. They didn't want to hear a word we had to say, so why should we give them the comfort of letting their pride heal... We don't owe them nothing because they didn't give us the time of day.
  • Apr 15, 2008, 07:01 AM
    talaniman
    Stay with no contact, not for revenge, for you. What she does after dumping you is her business, let her have it, and everything that comes with it. (without you)
  • Apr 15, 2008, 08:12 AM
    jpm247
    Here here,

    I agree with everything that's been recently posted sneeze. Your right when you say that if you speak to her she will feel better but probably won't.

    Its amazing how they can try and make us feel like the bad guy when we were the ones who got dumped by them, and just because we are trying to heal with NC they think they've done something to upset us and ignore them!

    How crazy are these people?! Of course theyv'e done something to upset us - they dumped the best thing that's going to happen to them!

    More fool them - onwards and upwards for everyone on here going through this crap.

    Stay strong and dig deep!
  • Apr 15, 2008, 05:32 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Update:

    ... I feel like a million bucks.. and then some.

    Why, do you ask?

    1. I KILLED on the market today. I mean... DEMOLISHED it... I pretty much made enough to pay for my European backpacking trip in the past 3 days.

    2. My boss just told me that I would get my protocol (the one I've been working on for the past 7 months) published! For some, this may mean nothing... but to me, as an undergrad, to get a protocol that I developed myself published... I feel like I almost fulfilled my God complex.

    3. Remember that girl, a few weeks back...

    She's the cute but very independent girl that after a wonderful first date, she turned me down for a second one stating "we need to set some ground rules..."

    You can find her here:

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...161688-15.html

    Well, I figured... I'm graduating in about 3 weeks, and really, I just want to spend as much time as I can just getting to know more people and spending time with them, so randomly, I called her and asked her if she wanted to meet me for dinner this week... and to my surprise, she said YES! I'D LOVE TO! I'M SO EXCITED!. not sure... why. Regardless, I'm excited.

    I took some notes from westy... I will NOT be taking her to my usual $50 an entrée place... but instead, taking her to a relatively casual oyster bar. Thanks westy.

    I'll update Thursday night after dinner. :)

    EDIT: my ex called again. Same old. One call. No message.. . God, she's good.
  • Apr 15, 2008, 07:10 PM
    ihatewestseneca
    And then take her to putt-putt... make sure you destroy her.
  • Apr 15, 2008, 07:11 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    ::taking notes::

    Work on my drive. Got it.
  • Apr 15, 2008, 07:14 PM
    ihatewestseneca
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    ::taking notes::

    work on my drive. got it.

    Drive? Haha, I hope that's a joke... girls don't like a whole game of golf, well, I think I would marry the first girl I met that did.

  • All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:29 AM.