I never said you guys were wrong... in fact, in my last post, I said that I believe the better thing to do right now is to cut my losses and leave

Mom of 2, your right... WE have become an addcition to EACH OTHER... u always make it seem like I'm the only one that doesn't want to leave...

What about yesterday when I was ignoring her and not talking to her... and yet she kept calling, and saying she wants to see me, and trying to kiss and hug me... and also saying I don't want to lose you, and you know how I feel about u, etc... and of course her taking a step forward and having sex with me

But you are right... we are both not willing or ready to cut our losses...

And its due to the 4 reasons I stated above (mix of routine, feelings, fun, both not ready for serious relationship with someone else)

Your also on the money about smthg else... in Dubai, it's a work city... much like New York... spend 5 or 6 days a week working, and when you have one or 2 nights to breathe, you go to clubs or pubs... it is very multicultural and multinational, so you will see a lot of people just wanting to have a good time... who would have thought a Lebanese-Canadian guy would be I na relationship with a ukrainian girl... my roommate, a frenchie, is with a korean girl, etc.

What me and my ex have is smthg really nice... we go to dinners, movies, bowling, gym, etc...

It is sometimes nice to have companionship and do "couple" things

In fact, my brother who lives with me as well, always envies me because I have someone to do "couple" things with

He comes home, watches TV, plays PS3, and then on weekends goes out with the boys, and many times comes home empty handed.. bored out of his mind

It is hard to meet someone special in dubai (as in new york)... it took me 10 mnths of being here before fially meeting her... sure I met girls before her and dated, but nothing special

This is just an idea on why we are both finding it hard to let go

Trust me... if you knew me, you would know I love myself... in fact, a lot of people think I'm too cocky... one of them is my ex!

But like I said from before.. when I love someone, I give it my best and am patient... sure I also like partying and being single (was single for 2 yrs before I met her and had a blast!)... but now I'm I na phase where I prefer being with her than with tamales

Right now, its true sometimes it bothers me, but we like being with each other, we like getting physical, we like the companionship...

At any point someone can end it, but we don't..

Not saying its right, but since I either want her or no serious relationship with anyone else, and she doesn't want a serious relatonship with anyone, we are stuck in an open realtionship/friends with benefits kind of thing

Again, I don't like it, but we both like each other too much to just cut our losses..

U were right about A LOT of stuff, but I was also right on SOME stuff

Some said we won't talk again after the break up and for me to let go... but in fact, she contacted me and she wanted me to be back in her life

Of course its not a relationship again, but we went back to kissing and dating and doing couple things... so from nothing to acting like like a couple... not getting her back but progress

Some of you said I won't sleep with her and that it's a game, etc... but then SHE decided to sleep with me and she invited herself to my house.. which is of course a step forward

Don't start criticizing , etc... I agree I didn't get her back... but from not talking for almost a month to having sex and having some sort of relationship again, is progress

Okay, there is a MAJOR difference between loving yourself and being cocky. To REALLY love yourself means that you know what you want and deserve. You don't have to be cocky about it!! Not putting up with games and not playing games is a way of loving yourself, because you should be mature enough and better than that to not go down that road.

I always make it sound like you are the one that does not want to leave?? NO, YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS MAKING IT SOUND LIKE YOU DON'T WANT TO LEAVE!! I state my opinions and offer advice. How you internalize it is on you. Then you contradict yourself by saying that both of you don't want to leave. Man, you are truly complex.

Like I said before, you are going to do what you are going to do.

This topic puts a foul taste in my mouth every time I see it when I wake up and check the relationship forum. Please let this die, there is nothing more that can be done for you here.

You're right, but it's like the Energizer Bunny, "It just keeps going and going and going." The only thing is that eventually the cute little bunny either hits a wall or runs out of juice.

I get tired of hearing the same thing over and over, but I guess I am the sincere optimist. I just always hope that the light will go on in his head and he will have an "AH HA!!!" moment. It's either that, or I'm a glutton for punishment!

Sort of had an AH HA! Moment last night

Funny how I have them when I'm out partying and a bit drunk hehehe

Not going to call her for a couple of days... I don't know what that will accomplish, but I got this feeling yesterday that was sort of a "im starting to get bored of this situation (not of her and her company), but teh way things are, and dont want to spend more energy/effort"

Have some friends coming into dubai for the weekend, so going to concentrate on doing my own thing... not going to initiate contact...

We'll see what/if that does anything

By the way, valid question: true she eventually had sex with me, which is a big step forward and a sign of her feelings... but how much of it could be due to "guilt" for maybe going on dates or liking this other guy?

Or her keeping you in the fold. A few days away is a good idea.

I think it was u, talaniman that once said "she will only know ur value when she misses you"... it crossed my mind last night... see, I do listen to what you guys have to say sometimes ;)

Sometimes when you hear something often enough it will start to sink in. Maybe it just takes longer for some people!

Stay focused on your friends this weekend. The hardest part of the journey is always the first leg. You WILL be tempted to contact her and just know that is a normal feeling. JUST DON'T GIVE IN!!

Sex can be very powerful. Maybe she did it because she was fearful that she would lose you if it didn't happen. Who knows for sure. If that is what happened, then that is very manipulative and misleading.

I think that you are coming around. Change can be frustrating and fearful, but in the end, if it is for a good change, it is always worth it. Anyone who is going through change go through a period of doubt - "Am I doing the right thing?" I don't care how experienced in life you think you are, you would not be human if you did not suffer from doubting yourself from time to time. Life is full of checks and balances and doubt is a check and balance. The key is to not let doubt paralyze you and force you to make bad life decisions. Life is also always a learning experience and everyone learns something new everyday. If someone out there claims to know everything than stand up and tell us all what the meaning of life is - BECAUSE WE ALL WANT TO KNOW!!

Anyway, I'm getting off my soap box now. Good luck to you this weekend. If I came off angry in any of my posts, I apologize. It is just that when you kind of have a feeling that you know what is going to happen and you want to tell someone "duck" and they just stand there and say "huh????", it can be frustrating. That is what I was feeling (can't speak for other people).

Hey, I heard that there is some major partying going on in Dubai this weekend. A lot of A-listers with the opening of the new hotel. Can you imagine spending $20 million on anything, much less ONE NIGHT of partying? I thought we were in a recession. Why not spend some of that money on people who really need it? Sorry to get off the subject, but come on!!

Some people are in a recessions others are not even effected by this :)

I mean one russian has just spent 100 million dollars an a private yacht

So some people are still doing well ;)

1) just got back home (4.41 am dubai time).. had a nice time... was tempted to call or message her to see where she was, but didn't... talanimans comment about "she'll know ur value when she misses u" kept creeping in

Tmrw will do my own thing again, and see if she calls or not..

Its true I'm starting to get bored of the situation, but still not bored of her... anyway, we'll see what comes out of these few days with me not initiating contact... we'll cross that bridge when we get to it

About the sex thing: we had been talking about it for a while now... and it happened on Tuesday night... we had a great day, had a romantic lunch, then went to the gym together, then had drinks, and we had a nice conversation that lead to some nice kissing, that lead to her saying lets go back to your place

So emotions were there.. BUT, I also believe that "guilt" or fear of losing me were also there

Maybe her going on some dates with the guy and liking him on some levels, made her feel guilty... so she didn't want to keep holding sex anymore

Maybe, maybe not... but what we do know is that it was nice, and that afterwards, she said that "i slept with u, and u know that i dont do that with anyone unless i really care about them or love them..and u know how hard it was for me to have sex with someone else after my ex....so when ur calm and thinking straight, u'll realize how much i care about u" (said after we had sex and she told me about the other guy)

By the way, this other guy lives outside dubai and comes here every once in a while for work... she told me that their contact is mostly by phone/text messages

Speaking of dubai, yes, that party was for the opening of the Atlantis hotel on the man-made palm island... I could see the fireworks from my apartment! 20 million! But a small price to pay since the hotel cost 1.5 billion to make

Been inside the hotel.. very nice... smthg you guys should know about dubai... they like to have the biggest everything here... the worlds tallest building, burj dubai, will be here... dubai was affected by the crisis, but not as much as other places... it is a cash rich place here

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tabbarat

1) just got back home (4.41 am dubai time)..had a nice time...was tempted to call or msg her to see where she was, but didnt...talanimans comment about "she'll know ur value when she misses u" kept creeping in

tmrw will do my own thing again, and see if she calls or not..

its true im starting to get bored of the situation, but still not bored of her...anyway, we'll see what comes out of these few days with me not initiating contact...we'll cross that bridge when we get to it

about the sex thing: we had been talking about it for a while now...and it happened on tuesday night...we had a great day, had a romantic lunch, then went to the gym together, then had drinks, and we had a nice convo that lead to some nice kissing, that lead to her saying lets go back to ur place

so emotions were there..BUT, i also believe that "guilt" or fear of losing me were also there

maybe her going on some dates with the guy and liking him on some levels, made her feel guilty...so she didnt want to keep holding sex anymore

maybe, maybe not...but what we do know is that it was nice, and that afterwards, she said that "i slept with u, and u know that i dont do that with anyone unless i really care about them or love them..and u know how hard it was for me to have sex with someone else after my ex....so when ur calm and thinking straight, u'll realize how much i care about u" (said after we had sex and she told me about the other guy)

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She started talking about another guy right after you had sex with her? That's a huge slap of disrespect right across your face.

Don't take that crap.

No, its because while we were getting it on, she was getting these phone calls and messages that she wouldn't answer

Later when she went to check them, I could tell she felt a bit uncomfortable... when I asked her what's wrong, she eventually told me

That's just the way it turned out...

OK... after going no contact... she contacted me... I went and had fun with my friends and had a nice weekend partying for 2 days

She calls me on Saturday (like a Sunday in dubai), and wonders where I have been... told her I was busy with my friends... she wanted me to go help her pick a birthday present for a friend of hers (had already promised her before)... so I did... we had a nice time... then while we were together, this girl calls me and invites me for coffee... I agreed to go after I'm done with my ex

This bothered my ex and she started asking me who this girl was, etc and that was about it...

Then I dropped her home, and went for coffee... this other girl is pretty, but don't like her.. no emotions..

But when I was with her, my ex called me to ask how it was going and asked a weird question: "im more fun to be with yeah?"... I answered" yes u are, but the night is still young ;)"... to try to tease her

Now this is where it gets juicy: today I messaged her in the morning to see how she is... and then she calls me back and wants to see me for lunch... we had a good time and then this new guy she told me about a few days back calls when I'm with her... he tells her that he is coming back to dubai tmrw for a few days

That killed the mood!

So after lunch, I started thinking that I need to stop caring about this other idiot and just enjoy my life... the more I show her that I care about this fool, the more she will lthink about him and be interested... I have to try to not make it a big deal.. so I just wanted to do smthg fun with her and clear our minds

So I invited her to dinner at Burj Al Arab (for those who know Dubai, it is the only 7 star hotel in the world)... it was nice etc... holding hands, kissing, bla bla bla... then the subject of the guy came up... she told me that she is thinking of seeing him and she thinks he is interesting, etc... but she told me that she really likes me and loves me, doesn't want to lose me, bla bla bla

So I told her again: look, do what you want, and I do what I want... but you know I'm not going to share you... I love you too much for that... so what are you going to do if I invite you for dinner and he invites you for dinner... or what? Your going to kiss me and then go kiss him?

She said no, and started holding my hand and kissing me, and then we had sex again later?

Its obvious this girl doesn't want smthg serious... she wants to be a bit single/free/or nothing serious after her ex of 10yrs situation... but what she does know is that she really cares about me and likes me and is afraid of losing me

Even though I had a nice time, and she told me to call her tmrw, on the ride back home I was a bit angry, depressed, and bored

I'm not going to call her at all! Especially when this guy is here! When I went no contact, she called me... I want to see if she will call me/how she will react when this guy is in dubai for a few days

Again, talanimans words of "she knows ur value when she misses u" come to mind

I'm going to go do my own thing.. see my friends... enjoy.. party... etc... if she calls, I'll see what she has to say... but I'm not going to call and initiate contact

I want to see what her actions are, and it would bother me a bit if I call and she is with him; so why put myself through that? (AND YES! I KNOW I AGREED TO AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP... E HAPPENS)

Anyway, based on what happens in the next few days, I guess we'll see what happens

Take care

This friend of mine just gave me advice... dont know if its right or not

He said that if I Don't call, then THAT will show that I care... I should act normally... and that in fact, if me and her are still in contact during these few days the guy is here, she will be too busy with me to see him

What you guys think?

Tab
I think it's becoming more and more apparent that your banging your head against a Brick wall here.

She tells you that she loves you and is scared of losing you , and then openly goes out with another man??

Sorry just too many Red Flags here as there have been from the beginning.

I say get out of this now , stop calling her and if she really wants to know tell her you can't put up with this anymore , if she really wants you she will drop all this other cr#p and come a running.

I know your saying your still having fun etc. but you clearly aren't. Because you've stated yourself all this is bothering you and making you angry.

She's a Player and is playing you because you keep allowing it!!

I think, no, I know for a fact, your still playing games with each other, and you just added sex into this open relationship.

I guess that's progress, since your officially friends with benefits.

Dubai, can't be that boring, that you would waste all this time, and effort, unless your both about thrills and drama.

That's what I think, and its not what she thinks of your value, its what you think it is.

Your version of NC, is a fallacy though, I have to say that as all your doing is playing hard to get, as she is with you.

Your not stopping contact, to heal, just play a game of hide, and seek.

No contact means just that NO CONTACT!! If she calls you, don't answer the phone! If you are truly doing no contact, that doesn't just mean that you don't initiate contact, it means that you have absolutely NO CONTACT, whether she is the one who calls or not. You lost your focus by answering the phone and you went with her to buy a birthday gift? I just don't understand that, as your friends were in town. Even if they were not in town, you said that you were not going to have any contact with her.

In my opinion, I don't believe that your "friend" gave you good advice. However, you are receptive to this advice because AGAIN it is something that you want to hear.

This girl does not love you. If she did, she would not be spending anytime with anyone. Maybe she is using this guy to make you jealous, which is game playing, and this is not action of someone who loves you. You are also playing games by telling her that you are going to have coffee with a girl that you don't even like. You are trying to make her jealous, which is AGAIN PLAYING GAMES!! When is this going to stop? If you are truly in love, there is no jealousy and there is no game playing. This is clearly an unhealthy addiction.

I agree with Talaniman that you are officially friends with benefits. In situations like this, sex always complicates things.

I give up.

Forget the last messages I sent you... I think I was a bit drunk last night... we had drinks in burj il arab, then a friends house, then back at my house ;)

I decided not to care anymore.. really... let her do what she wants.. I mean for sure I'm not going to want a serious relationship with her after all this trouble, and anyway she is not ready for one right now!

So going to decrease/take the feelings out of this situation

But I can tell you that I still want to have sex and make out with her for sure, and see her, because we do have fun together and get along, and its nice sometimes to go to movies or dinner or drinks with a nice pretty girl that you like and really get along with

But that's as far as it goes...

Got too bored of the situation... and of thinking too much, etc...

It has come to a point where 7 months ago (before I met her), it seems like I was having more fun... just single, meeting girls, partying, getting drunk, threesomes, etc... a relationship is not supposed to be so friggin hard

So just going to take it easy and decrease my feelings and efforts... will try to keep it as a sort of friends with benefits kind of thing

By the way, friend 4u... I agreed with most of your last post... I don't know what is going on in that head of hers... she does love me and really like me and is afraid of losing me, because whenevr she feels that I'm walking away or getting bored, she comes to hug me and kiss me and tells me "i dont want to lose u..ur very important to me...u know i want to be with u, etc."... BUT, she also to her own admission doesn't want a serious relationship now... and she is afraid of getting into another one now with me... so that's why an open relationship evolved and I guess its OK for us to see other people... BASICALLY, a classic case of she wants to have her cake and eat it too... thus, the reason I'm starting to get bored

Good luck to me!

Thanks all

You want your cake, and eat it too, why should she be any different. Don't be mad at her, as her terms were very clear in the beginning, and you went along with EVERYTHING.

Sex will complicate things. It already has. Think with the other head.

Quote:

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BUT, she also to her own admission doesn't want a serious relationship now

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Neither are you.

Initially I wanted a serious relationship... I swear to it... the way I felt for her was the same if not more than the way I felt for my ex of almost 5 yrs! I saw a future..

But then all this crap started evolving about her ex of 10yrs getting back in the pic... she doesn't want anything serious... an open relationship... we can see other people, etc.. bla bla bla...

It became apparent to me that IM the only one that wants a serious relationship with her!

I kept on denying and lying to myself... and telling myself, who cares, her ex is all the way back in ukraine, and we are having fun here and now having sex , etc.

But when I finally learned that an open relationship means that we can REALLY see other people, and not only just give each other space with our friends sometimes, it was like a wake up call!

STOP BEING THE ONLY ONE THAT WANTS MORE OUT OF THIS THAN THERE REALLY IS

She wants me AND to be single/see other people...

So since it seems she wants her cake and eat it too... im going to put less effort and take emotions out of it...

I still want to be with her as well, so I guess we will have to keep it as friends with benefits

All I'm saying is that I invested too many feelings and hopes into this from day 1.. but as FRIEND4U says, it seems now I'm hitting a brick wall

So I can play her game, and go back to the tabbarat of 7mnths ago... I'll try to take emotions out and keep more of a friendship/sex thing

She is probably having dinner with this dork now, so I'm gonan invite one of the girls I cut out a couple of months back for a date...

By the way, just as a funny note (I think we can all use a good laugh)... she showed me some of the messages this guy sent her... one of them was:

"i dont want to write ur name in the sand, bc it will wash away...i dont want to write ur name in the snow, bc it will melt away...i want to write ur name in my heart where it will stay forever!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH

What a douche... but to be fair, for her to see him and talk to him, means that she does like him on some level... and that's what pissed me off, not him as a person...

I don't usually get jealous of other guys (im very cocky and confident), but I do get jealous of the actions surrounding other guys and the girl I'm with

Anyway, we'll see how it goes... the fact that I know she is seeing him tonight and I'm fine with it and instead wondering which girls I want to get back in my life (that I cut out over the past 7mnths), is a good step

Tab, it seems that whenever your drunk you come and post that your bored with this situation but then you sober up and take back what you post.

So now your are no longer in an open relationship but friends with benefits, your words. So that means you can't get mad when she dates/likes someone else and neither can she.

You also stated that whenever you want to leave she hugs or kisses you and tell you how she don't want to lose you, etc but don't want to commit. Yeah, that's a great reason to stay.

No matter what you say you can't continue to be around her and try to decrease your feelings for her. While those feelings are there for her it will only stop you from getting feelings for someone else or from developing into something and then your be in the same boat as her.

This situation is only leaving you conflicted and while you think your have it under control you don't. I think you've more common sense when your drunk and when your drunk that's your subconscious talking, listen to it.

I don't find this funny at all, I actually like it and is going use it for my next Valentine card for my fiancé.

I don't want to write your name in the sand, because it will wash away... I don't want to write your name in the snow, because it will melt away... I want to write your name in my heart where it will stay forever!

A better step would be to be honest with yourself, about your feelings, and be honest with others.

When we are all over the place as you are, and just wanting what we think we want, you get in all kinds of situations, exactly like yours, with the same results. CONFUSION, and DRAMA, and we can't deal with either.

Leave all the girls alone, and give the emotional dust time to settle, and then see facts, and not just feelings.

Hey look we have been telling you this for the longest, let some of it sink in.

Sometimes the best action, is NO action. Then the brain can work!

Real estate has hit it hard in dubai! Prices down 40%, not a lot of people buying, and real estate companies are cutting jobs

Her department has a meeting tmrw and is going to let some people go!

She called me today to tell me that... she is worried and wanted to tell me... and she is afraid that if she gets fired then what will happen with her work visa, etc. etc.

I of course stayed with her on the phone, telling her not to worry, I'm sure it will be OK, your a great worker and any company would be lucky to have u, etc.

We then changed the subject, laughed a bit, and then told her I was getting ready to go out to see this girl.. she got a bit bothered, but that was it.

I asked her if she saw the fool today, and she said that he picked her up from work and dropped her home... she isn't going to see him tonight because she is feeling a bit worried and depressed

She also told me that me and her family are the only ones she talked about this to... it was nice to hear

Then I told her I had to go...

I hope I don't have to go through the same thing all over again, with the firing, and the stress, and bla bla bla!! God Damn! There just isn't any luck!

I hope it doesn't come to that.. maybe she is just overreacting... we'll see what happens and then deal with it

Tab
Lets go back 54 pages and start again... LOL

Hahahah.. I'll still be waiting for your advice ;)

Honest to Pete, man!! Why do you continue to do the same things over and over? You admitted that you can't do this anymore, yet you go back and do the same things over and over again. It is VERY clear now that she is only using you for a comfort zone. If I were you, I would stop taking her phone calls, stop going out with her, stop doing EVERYTHING that you have been doing with her. As Talaniman said, sex only complicates things. You will never be able to move forward if you continue this. It WILL be hard at first, but you have to cut all ties with this girl. The longer you wait to do this, the longer it will take for you to heal. The way that I see it, there is no hope that you will ever have a relationship with this girl. I think most people on this thread would agree with me.

Stop going back on what you say you are going to do. I really hope for the best for you, I really do. But your best will not come if you continue to ride this roller coaster ride. It is unhealthy on so many levels. You can't just tell yourself to stop caring, it is not that easy. Stop kidding yourself and face reality. Sh*t or get off the pot already!!

Now she is worried about her work visa! Doesn't she know her boss is her lovers brother? What could she be worried about? Surely he can keep her job, or at least support her while she finds another one. Or even this new guy..?

How is that book coming?

I thought you said by her having sex with you will show that she is over her ex? I guess that was untrue but now there is someone else added to the mix. I wonder what she tells him?

Huh, I guess the ex isn't a big problem anymore.

Watch you going met a girl that you like but this girl is going be the problem and then it's going be you saying "I like you but I am still in love with my ex".

1) mom, its not so easy... call it comfort zone, call it caring about each other... we really have become like best friends... forget the feelings and all that, before anything we really have developed this sort of thing as if we're best friends.. I mean we see each other almost everyday for 7 mnths, talk on phone, go to gym together, sometimes get each other from work and then eat, talk for hours, know each other, get along, etc.. and finally we slept together (smthg that wasn't easy for her to do)so there is that bond that is not easy to throw away... I agree with her when she says "i dont want to lose u" because I don't either

BUT, I FINALLY agree with you all when I say that there is no serious relationship coming from this girl, and that I should invest less feelings and effort in her and our "relationship" and that I should do my own thing... I finally realized that... arent you guys happy? :)

Look, I'm not going to get married anytime soon, not interested... so its not like I'm worried about wasting time, and maybe mrs. tabbarat is out there now, etc...

I decided to put less effort and feelings with her, and realize she is not someone I want to be serious with

What I do still want with her is our "best friendship", companionship, and of course sex (not only because it is good, but because we still share those nice attraction feelings and butterflies when we see each other)

So one step at a time... but at least I realize there is no hope for a relationship or future with her.. so no more false hope

2) about work, well my bro was her manager when she was working in sales... she was given a warning and told to pick up her sales... that didn't happen, so instead of being fired, my bro pulled some strings and had her moved to marketing/stands

She has a different manager now... some bulgarian ho that looks like a man

3) yes, I think she had sex because she finally is over her ex... she told me the other day that she doesn't think about him anymore... maybe its true, maybe its not... but the fact remains that she did eventually take the step and cut the umbilical cord to the past and have sex with me

And the fact remains that she only sleeps with people she really cares about or loves, so for whatever reason she did it, it means smthg

She is not with me in a relationship (committed one) because she doesn't want one now... she wants to be a bit single/free after her relationship of 10yrs... she wants some time alone... BUT also doesn't want to lose me

About what she tells this new guy? I don't know, and I really don't care... the truth... what I care about is that she told me about him. And even showed me some of his messages, etc... if there was smthg to hide, she wouldn't have done that

The point: she doesn't want a serious relationship now, she wants to be free, but I will always be the guy that she comes back to or falls to or turns to... or also a friend with benefits ;)... what I have to do, is be that also... live my life, but for now, still share that bond with her... not ready to cut it yet... my mistake was going into an open relationship with the feelings and hopes of having a committed one... now I realize I was wrong, and learned to have less emotions and hopes with her

I'm not saying its healthy... I agree with u, mom... but you don't always have to end things like ripping a band-aid... sometimes time heals all wounds and things work themeselves out

Confusing. You think you can have less feeling for each other while still sleeping with her? That will be quite a trick, at least for the first few months.

And are there going to be tamales and tacos too?

Don't say that we never warned you about doing it your way with this girl. Sometimes it is easier to cut all ties in one fell swoop than it is to continue to have sex with her, do things with her, and then try to have less feelings for her. THAT is not as simple as you think. I think that in the back of your mind, you are still hoping for a relationship with her. You are only writing something that YOU think that WE want to hear, but that you are still focused on trying to change her mind and AGAIN TRY to prove us wrong. I never said that cutting ties with her would be easy. In fact, I mentioned that it would not be easy, especially at first. Nothing in life is easy, otherwise choices wouldn't be so difficult

And you think that you guys are best friends? Friends, let alone best friends, don't play games with each other or try to make each other jealous, which is exactly what you guys are doing. With friends like that, who needs enemies?

Again, in the end, you will do what you want to do. I'm sure that we will all still be around (for a little while longer anyway) to hear the same thing over and over again.

Tabbarat, I didn't wrote since long time ago, but that doesn't mean I didn't read everything what has been said in here. For every word you say, all these bullsh!t of "i can handle it with less feelings" (that's contradictory, cause you already admitted you felt angry when she told you she had sex with someone else), "the hot tamales", "the open relationship (????)", every action you took, take and are going to take as long as you don't begin to act like an adult, I have only two words to you:

Teenager's enthusiasm.

You already hit up the wall with your own head, but still don't feel that pain, cause as long as pit is still heat, the pain comes slowly.

Can I say I told you so yet? :D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by matteus

tabbarat, i didn't wrote since long time ago, but that doesn't mean i didn't read everything what has been said in here. For every word you say, all these bullsh!t of "i can handle it with less feelings" (that's contradictory, cause you already admitted you felt angry when she told you she had sex with someone else), "the hot tamales", "the open relationship (????)", every action you took, take and are going to take as long as you don't begin to act like an adult, i have only two words to you:

teenager's enthusiasm.

you already hit up the wall with your own head, but still don't feel that pain, cause as long as pit is still heat, the pain comes slowly.

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Word.

1) of course there is going to be tamales and tacos.. what? So she is the only one that can go on dates and get feelings for other guys? I'm going to go out, and meet girls, and live my life... but just like she doesn't want to lose me, I don't want to lose her

2) today she called and wanted to have lunch with me, we had lunch, then we kissed, then I dropped her home... she asked me what I was going to do, I told her I was going to a pub with some friends.. she asked if she knows them, I said no.. she got bothered... I asked her what she was going to do, she said dinner with the dude... I said OK, have fun...

3) NEWSFLASH: this new guy bought her a $10, 000 Piaget watch, and asked her to marry him?! she turned him down of course...what a weirdo?!! a proposal after about a month of phone convo and 4 dates?! hahah

It was nice of her to tell me... but she did go to dinner with him tonight... so, interesting...

Really, I'm not very bothered... in fact, kind of careless... when I saw her wearing the watch today, it was another wake up call

Guys guys! I finally agree with you that I need to remove emotions and effort from this relationship and she wants to have her cake and eat it too! Be happy...

4) really what I'm concentrating on next is when we are going to have sex the next time, and when this idiot leaves in 2 days

U know, a friend of mine today was in the same situation a while back... he and this girl started really liking and caring about each other and dated and got close, but then he had to leave the country for work... they each eventually led different lives and met other people, but they would talk on the phone from time to time.. and every time he would go back home, he would have sex with her, go for dinners, drinks, etc... he told me that they have a bond that will always be there, but they both know they can't be together

So his advice: try to not get too attached.. live your life as she does hers... but you both know that when you are together, you should enjoy it and you will always feel smthg for each other

He said that I had been waiting for 7 mnths for her to finally have sex with me... now that I got it, I just want to quit? Then what was all the wait for?

I agree... try to decrease feelings, but no reason to cut out someone very close to me just yet... anyway, she told me again today, "ur in my heart, u always will be"... how sweet...

Anyway, take care and goodnight