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-   -   Long Distance Relationship! (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=205184)

  • Nov 22, 2008, 05:44 PM
    h0llister
    Ex is acting like a BF!
    My ex calls me a lot and says hey hunny how are you , I miss you and stuff.. But we both have agreed on staying broken up because of the 2000 miles distance between us. I do love him and care, but like it kind of feels wrong. Whenever he does call I feel so good to have someone being like that to me. But after I know I don't want to be with him right now ( he is super jealous always asking me who I am with, what I am doing, when I got home.. etc) Do you think he is acting like a boyfriend to feel complete or something, or is he trying to win me back?
  • Nov 22, 2008, 06:39 PM
    xxariesxx
    Why don't you ask him how he feels instead of guessing and prolonging the stress?
    If he still has feelings for you and is trying to perhaps get back together maybe you should stop talking to him, to save his AND your feelings.

    It feels good to be talked to like that, but don't keep carrying on conversations like that if you both need to move on.
  • Nov 22, 2008, 06:43 PM
    TrueFaith

    If it bothers you that much. Change your phone number and delet him from your life.

    Unless you are planing on getting back with him later on? Are you?

    What do you want out of this?

    Xs Should not be calling you up. Going hey babe and hey hun..

    Don't give him false ideas and tell him what you want.. and don't want out of him

    Come on girl. I have seen you give lots of good advice here.

    You know what to do
  • Nov 22, 2008, 07:21 PM
    talaniman

    He probably has false hopes, because of the mixed signals you give him.
  • Nov 22, 2008, 07:38 PM
    talaniman
    Long Distance Relationship Advice | The Frisky

    Read this, see if it helps you understand.
  • Nov 22, 2008, 08:31 PM
    h0llister

    That's true guys, I have to tell him to stop because we are 'just' friends and only a 'boyfriend' gets those privileges :) I do like to talk to him now and then. But I always wait for him to call. Also we couldn't be together for 2-3 years so I'm holding back a lot because I don't want to get hurt. :) thanks everyone
  • Nov 22, 2008, 10:05 PM
    TrueFaith

    About the whole not hurting him part my dear :)

    You will end up hurting him more if you don't tell him right away..

    But you know this ;)

    Anyway good luck

    Remember live your life :) don't wait on anyone

    All the best
  • Nov 23, 2008, 04:55 AM
    High Max

    You guys seem like you probably like each other a lot but the distance is really hindering things. The only hope you really have to make this work is

    a. You both have the self control to wait it out for two to three years and stay exclusive to one another. Only seeing each other once every few months makes this INCREDIBLY difficult.

    b. One of you transfers schools to be closer.

    Look at the situation. Are you a girl that is hit on a lot? Are a lot of men in your life? Are you put in tempting situations a lot? What about him, is the same situation true for him? If this is the case, you may want to consider option b or be in for a long, interesting ride.
  • Nov 23, 2008, 11:32 AM
    h0llister

    I've asked him a lot to transfer schools but he can't because he's taking over his moms business/ is in school for business and if I were to transfer schools it would be taught in spanish! Lol I will try to talk to him again though.. thanks guys :)
  • Nov 26, 2008, 11:43 PM
    h0llister
    I am treating my ex sooo bad. I need to stop!
    Hello, lately my ex and I have been talking. We will talk for about a half hour then after I start treating him bad. We are 2000miles away and I always end up trying to get him to move closer to me or ask him to sell his business he will get, to be with me. I don't even know why I do. I know he never would and I know its not fair. I know I am pushing him away from me. But I can't seem to stop, I hate when I act like that. I always treat him bad I am being so unfair. I couldn't move there because of the industry I am going into and the language difference. But like I need to stop because I love him. But I don't no what to do now I have screwed up so much, I want to truly tell him I am sorry I don't no how to. I need to stop, I need to.. but I miss him so much its hard. I always force him to do things like talk to me longer, etc but man I hate myself when I do it.. I just did it again and I just feel like crying I don't no what is wrong with me.. :( helpp! I know he loves me because he will always talk to me and he's always the one to IM me or call me. I hate myself for doing this to him everyday, I just feel like I want him to prove to me that he wants to be with me... help me guys!
  • Nov 27, 2008, 01:37 AM
    princessmayen

    we should, at one point in time, swallow our pride.. let's think of it this way: if you do love him, try to talk... after all,
    Quote:

    there's no harm in trying
    , is there? ^^
  • Nov 27, 2008, 01:50 AM
    ylaira

    Its only normal that you want to see some assurance in future. So lets get things straight here, talk to him, ask what is his plan. You both prefer your jobs than working on being together. If you 2 can't settle for that LDR, then call it quits. If you stay, don't complain.

    You can't always have everything, sorry...
  • Nov 27, 2008, 02:05 AM
    starbuck8

    Yes you CAN stop doing what you are doing, you just don't want you. It gives you a sense of control. What is your payoff? People don't do things like this without a motive. You have to sit down and think about what yours is, and be honest with yourself.

    For one, you said he is your ex! What happened to make him your "ex"? Are you getting back at him for something? Do you feel guilty for something "you" did to cause him to be your ex?

    If you keep on trying to make him prove himself, you WILL lose him again. You know that don't you? I think you need a check on yourself esteem. If you keep on thinking you don't deserve him, sooner or later he is going to believe you.
  • Nov 27, 2008, 10:29 AM
    talaniman
    Quote:

    and p.s. on 4th day of NC and loving it :)!!
    Until you get serious with No Contact, your misery and confusion will continue. But you already know that.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=3410548
  • Nov 27, 2008, 10:34 AM
    TrueFaith

    Yeah really girl what part of No Contact don't you understand?

    Your post is all over the place. Your emotions are so out of wack

    You are brining this all on yourself!

    You can only feel sorry for someone if they put there hands on the FIRE once

    But if they keep on DOING IT?

    Its like what's the point.

    Stop being WEAK!
    And move the hell on.

    Or you will just keep posting the whys and wheres. On this site
    And we will just keep saying

    And what really pisses me off. Is YOU KNOW BETTER. And you are given others advice? Yet you are not able to follow your own advice.

    Noo contact.

    Yawn.
  • Nov 27, 2008, 10:37 AM
    DeleteAndBan

    This reminds of fight club, you like visiting support groups ?
  • Nov 27, 2008, 12:04 PM
    BobbyVandeyar

    I realised that the point of all relationships is to keep it real. And to understand the purpose of the break up and how to move from it. Ive looked at how you give advice to others. Like what everyone else is telling you. You know what you got to do. You just got to stick by it. Talaniman gave me a reality check in my blog that you also commented on me as well.

    I hope everything goes well for you.
  • Nov 27, 2008, 01:53 PM
    h0llister

    You guys are so right and I know what's right, its just so hard to tell someone to LEAVE u alone when they say they love u so much and u love them. Its hard to do :S even with all our mutual friends like its soooo hard. :(
  • Nov 27, 2008, 02:08 PM
    TrueFaith

    Its hard?

    I tell you what's hard. Hard is speaking to someone that you know you can't be with.

    If you love him so much. Pick up everything and leave and go with him simple as that..

    If you have your own goals in life. And yours and his does not match

    Then stop this train of hurt.

    Its not hard. You are making it hard.

    Trust me. To stop talking to someone. Is an easy thing to do. Even more so if you love them.

    Because what you are doing now. Is just. Wrong and there is no need to make yourself feel like this.



    Time to Follow your OWN advice missy
    These are Quotes taken from you



    Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together" ( that says is it all right there you are really cutting the SH#T out of yourself here madem)

    “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.” (HA! Yeah it sure is. You are making all the suffering out of this one)

    “I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.” (this is true. You want him to be with you leave everything and be near you. Sorry love. You know that is not going to happen
    Or it would have by now)
  • Nov 27, 2008, 11:39 PM
    BobbyVandeyar

    In time u will get through this. Stay strong. Do what u do best. Like giving advice on this site lol:) and being free, enjoying life to the fullest:)

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