You must be some kind of dreamboat! Did we start a fan club for you yet?Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
|
You must be some kind of dreamboat! Did we start a fan club for you yet?Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Rewind 14 months :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
Well, actually, I don't count this as a setback at all...
Honestly, I'm doing just fine, and this doesn't really bother me all too much. Just one of those "blip" things that happen on the radar.
Ooh, look, there's a blip!
If we don't ever talk again, I'm OK with that, and I'll continue my life just the way it's been going. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
LOL... Looks like wondergirl's flirting again mcsneezer ;)
I know... I know...
When will women realize I'm more than just a pretty face..
:p
Gray's Anatomy's got Dr. Dreamy. We'uns gots our own Dr. Sneezy!!Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
*sigh* *swoon*
Dr. Sneezy, hmmm, you can give me a physical any time. ;)
Red Flag- she is willing to do anything to be your friendQuote:
To be honest, this is where I stand. If she is willing to offer: "I will completely erase the new boy toy, I will never speak to him, see him, etc." If this is the case, then I am willing to speak to her.
Read flag- There are no conditions on friendship
Red Flag- She is very desperate to get back what she had
Red Flag- He was a rebound and now she wants you to be, not good at all. She is way to needy, and desperate.
Solution- Don't feed her false hope, she has to many problems.
You don't need this drama, or the distraction. There are to many other things to do, and she needs to get her own act together.
She needs you way more than you need her, but no way let her use you to get over her real problems that she is very unwilling to deal with.
You know the drill, get scarce, and keeping enjoying what you have honestly, worked hard for.
Sneezy, my man! We have been through our break ups together. Now, I don't agree with making her chose but you're a man and can do what you want. Me personally, I have decided to be "friends" with my ex. Let me define that for you, we BARELY talk and it's always initiated by her, and it's about meaningless crap going on in our lives. I wouldn't call it a real friendship. More of an occasional conversationist that lasts 5-10 mins(through texting) every couple months. It keeps her happy because she feels she has a friend even after we parted on bad terms. The final choice is up to you, but sometimes it's better to just bite the bullet and be the part-time friend to alleviate the stress from your life.
This is as close at it comes to real friendship with an ex.Quote:
Originally Posted by Romefalls19
Any farther and you're on faulty ground!
Glad you could get there Rome, it keeps everyone happy really, I think...
I agree that this is a bad situation, as I had warning bells going off... but I don't think Romefall's ideas are too bad either. When I meant that I will "talk" to her, I was going along the lines of what Rome has been doing... having shallow conversations so that it will "get her off my back."
Instead of 3 - 4 phone calls a day that says, "I need you," they may be 3 - 4 texts of saying, "What's up?"
I'd rather have a few shallow conversations than these "talks" over and over again, just to alleviate the stress.
That was my outlook on the situation. I'd much rather have that because I was going through what you were. The third party friends telling you about her and how she misses the conversation and wishes you two were friends, her texts or calls wondering why you won't talk to her. Once I did this "friends" junk, that all stopped and we still barely talked. Both parties are happy and I'm back to no stress:-)
Okay, Rome, Sneezy, I'm just stunned that this works, really really stunned.
I'm not saying that you can't be "friends" with an ex, heck, I have exes that are friends, very good friends, but that was 20 years after they were exes, any sooner then that wouldn't have worked, at least not for me.
So, both of you are allowing conversation to get these girls off your backs. Wow, wow, wow, these girls are good. Neither one of you want them in your lives but both of you are stuck with them because they won't back off. How the heck do you force someone to be your friend, contact them over and over until they give in? Wow!
Sorry boys, I don't mean to sound harsh, adore both of you but really, these girls are manipulating little... I'll stop there. ;)
I guess times have changed, whenever a guy told me to get lost (didn't happen often, I'm good too ;)) I got lost, that was that. I have my pride, I have no desire to be "friends" with someone I have to force into the friendship.
Just plain WOW!
My ex, only came back after she found out I was with someone new(my fiance) and it tore her up to see me happy with someone else. I simply accepted the friend request because I'd rather deal wither her every once in awhile rather than deal with many people coming up and asking why I won't be her friend. I simply weighed the options of good and bad. Good, no stress and less people who will bug me and bad, well I hear from her everyone once in a couple months. It's still rips her(from what her friend said the other day) that I am with someone else and getting married.
Of course it "rips" here, because she hasn't moved on.
I kind of sort of understand the whole friendship thing, but not really. ;)
I just don't get how someone is okay with forcing their friendship on someone. How does that make her feel better? Really, she has to know, if she looks deep enough, that you're only doing this because it's less drama for you.
I just can't imagine caring so little of myself that I would be okay with a "friend" that's only my "friend" because I'm such a pain in the arse otherwise.
Is this a young girl thing, is that why I'm totally flabbergasted?
Ha ha it's got to be because I could have cared less to be her friend, let alone talk to her anymore.
True, we always want what we can't have, she wants you, can't have you, so she's forcing her way into your life. GIRLS! :(
I'm in trouble now.
Haha, yes, girls.
Well, my ex called me not too long ago and said that we needed to talk, but in person.
Yes, warning flag, but I was somewhat interested in where this was going, so I played along.
REMEMBER, I am just fine. No more lingering feelings. Just wanted to let her play her game.
Over the past couple of days, she's used up crying, desperate and pathetic, rational and convincing, as well as anger... so I was wondering what else she may have come up with.
I went there, and she got in my car, and we talked in the car in front of her apartment. Remember how I wanted her to "give up the boy toy?" Well, she didn't bring it up, but her body language said it all. She asked exactly what I wanted her to sacrifice...
SIDE NOTE: Women, I KNOW for a fact that this is not difficult to figure out. I mean, c'mon.
So I played her game and just told her that I wanted to see what she was willing to give up to get me back in her life.
She didn't flat out say it, but her body language pretty much said:
I'm not willing to give up something I know I will have... for something I may or may not get.
As we were talking, as if the fates had it, the new boy toy that "she had broken it completely off with" walked in front of my car, went to her apartment, knocked on the door, and when he didn't get a response, called her.
While her phone is ringing, I looked at her, and she looked at me with a look of sheer panic, and I told her, "I think you're needed."
... and that's that!
I know I said it was over, but the way things are going, I can guarantee that this book is not over. The chapter may be. I'm pretty dern sure that there is no way this girl is giving up. This should be fun.
LOL... I can't wait for the next chapter :)
If you're up to 30,000 words yet, this is going to become the next Silhouette bestseller. I do so want to see this get published!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
You could just be the lady for the Job Wondergirl ;)
I'm going to do it. I was putting it all into Word and then stopped. Will have to backtrack and pick up where I left off, count words, and keep adding more adventures. I love Sneezy's style of writing, and the story just flows like a river.Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl
LOL... I would like to order a copy please :)
I have the tapes, I can give you a copy of them M, but it'll cost you. ;)
I'm not kidding. I PMed him long ago to send it in somewhere. It's too good for a romance novel -- maybe should check into finding an agent. This could be big! Or hey -- I could be the agent -- I know publishers and editors and authors well enough to chat this up.Quote:
Originally Posted by friend4u178
I'm seriously considering this publishing thing. WG gave me the idea, and I honestly have no idea how many people will read it... I doubt a whole lot except a few here on AMHD...
When the war is over, I shall look into it.
War schmar. I catalog library books for a living. If you could see the el crapo stuff I catalog, stuff that passes for fiction -- not to mention the nonfiction (How to sharpen your concrete saw... ). This Sneezy thing could be the 21st century's Perfect Storm, a very readable advice book memoir for NC -- and we all know how many questions get asked here about that every day!Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
I work for a big publishing house, I can probably help you out with the publishing part, if you need any help that is.Quote:
Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
I am telling you Sneezy, this novel would sell itself! I would definitely buy a copy, only if I can get it autographed by the author!
Incredible - I'm at your stage of taking it chilled and going on dates - good on you mate.
Come a long way - enjoy
If people are lured in to buying all of the e-books about getting their ex back, I don't see why they wouldn't buy this story... it is amazing and, unlike the e-book, actually does help you out.
Just wanted to get my two cents in...
wow truly insppiring spent the whole afternoon reading it lol. I need something more though. I need to know if NC is really the way to approach my situation. You've come along way man. I wish I can have the confidence you do now.
Turns out what you wanted in the first place you ended up having it come to you but at that time you didn't need it anymore. Love? What is love? Do you really have love for this women? What is true love? I think things would have turned out differently if that was the case. Good luck! Don't be too mean to her =P I wonder if my ex will come running back to me once I move on as well. Maybe I won't want her back by then. But there is the "other guy" in her life too... sigh
For me, the other guy was the reason she left me. I was crushed, I was broken, and I was left to pick up the pieces.
A year and some months later, she came back running. Did I love her? I think so. I thought I'd end up marrying her... so yeah, I think I did love her. Do I think about her now? From time to time, but the nauseating sting isn't there anymore.
If she is truly sincere would you take her back? O_O
Well, my situation's a bit... complicated. Do I love her? Yes, as a person. However, in the course of the past year and a half, we've both changed tremendously. So in that sense, I would have to get to know her again.
Also, logistically, she's going to grad school in May, about 1200 miles away from here, and I may be going to medical school (if I'm accepted) in August, nowhere near her. So that wouldn't work out. If our paths crossed once again in the future, then I would again have to get to know her once more...
Ahhhh. Your situation is pretty inspiring with the no contact. How do you know if you should use no contact or not? If you want check out my situation
https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...ml#post1603532
Hello none12345. I just read your (long) post. I'll keep it short and to the point. People are hardly worth all the time and effort that we end up putting into them. As time passes by, you realize this fact more and more. Just let it go. Don't contact the girl.
On the bright side, you had a relationship that lasted 5 years, which is amazing and (imo) miraculous in today's society of casual, ambiguous and oftentimes complicated relationships. Good for you!
Seriously, you're young. You'll find someone, or someone will find you soon enough. Live it up while you can.
Isneezefunny... you're my hero. You've given me so much hope and I love you man.
Um... I love you too bro?
Probably the last update I will do before I end this whole thing.
A few weeks ago, I decided to call my ex and catch up. Things didn't work out and we didn't get to really talk, but a couple of weeks ago, she decided to give me a call... and we talked for about an hour or so. No snide comments, no hurt feelings, no anger, nothing... just a nice catching up between two people who shared something special in the past. We left it at, "hopefully, we'll see each other soon," and I really meant it.
So with that, I'm going to have to say, my journey with this one specific girl is over.
I'm leaving for medical school August 9... my restaurant is closed, and I am currently opening up a gas station... so until I leave for med school, I will be busy with the setting up of the gas station. Hope everyone's doing well... wish you all the best.
Thank you to everyone for your support, and thanks for reading my story. Hope you found it helpful (enjoyable at least). Thanks again.
Good luck with Med School Sir Sneeze , hope everything works out well for you :)
| All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:31 PM. |