Ask Me Help Desk - I can't trust my girlfriend.

Emo, that's real nice! I do imagine things that made my ex wonder.. I imagine flying like a bird in the blue blackish night sky with thick white clouds, I can imagine myself as a girl during romantic session( I know its not exactly the same but it succeeded anyway) I was a dreamer, now I'm more to the BLANK type where I look like I'm thinking but I'm not :)

I LOVE tranquility and I'm more to laid-back type, more to feelings and that's where I *tripped so hard I broke my soul and body. We have something in common. Its nice talking to you. I've not talk too much people since I went to college. Not everyone is nice to talk to for me.

I am feeling pretty good right now... I had a girl over and had "a good time" In a way I feel like I wish I didn't have to do this but it really did help. I felt comfortable and I made her breakfast. I put candles in my room... I had romantic music... I felt like I replaced my ex and I am realizing there really wasn't anything "Sooo" special about my ex because this girl did all the things and let me do all the things I like sexually. So I'm glad that there is a new memory for that and I don't really like this girl for a relationship and I did tell her as well so we are cool. So this just shows me that there is someone else that will connect with me. Right now I just want to keep working out which I will tonight. I really liked my room and the environment so now I'm skeptical about changing it. I think I can still make it romantic.

Modern-Romantic sounds like a style that fits you. :)

Go emo go, now u're running!

Is it possible to have a relationship with only one person trusting?

Quote:

Originally Posted by emopunk7

is it possible to have a relationship with only one person trusting?

You could have one but it wouldn't last.

You both are so young and it sounds like you both are not ready for a real relationship. Jealousy, love, and revenge does not go together.

I honesty don't think it would work with only one person trusting. See the one not being trusted would feel watched, questioned, accused. And the one that couldn't trust would feel insecure and have their suspicions. See it's a lose lose situation. It would crumble. Trust is the foundation of the relationship.

Its only going to work when both parties WORK. Works= WORK together. Can u be with a person u can't trust? Neither do someone who can't trust can live happily forever.

Yeah, my ex always said she can't and would never trust me n I did all I could to fix that and I never did anything nor cheated. Which is why I was so bothered she would go out over 3 times behind my back. It wasn't fair but I still miss her and I should have just let it go again and I'd be with her now.

emopunk7, if you don't understand what others are saying, then it's time you need to get some real counseling done. If you can't afford one, than go to the neighborhood church. Your girlfriend lied to you so many times, but you can't forgive her, but you still want to continue on with relationship after you took revenge on her, so she's angry and needs to cool down. The point is you don't want to forgive her actions and you can't trust her. You can't have a relationship with someone when you can't trust that person. In addition, it sounds like she doesn't want to have any relationship with you because you can't forgive. It sounds more like this is an control issue more than anything else. You call her numerous times, its not because you truly trust or love her because you didn't trust her to begin with. And when you did catch her in the lie it gave you more reason to control her somehow. Why have a relationship with someone you can't trust? If this is just how you are than you need some serious counseling.

Sounds serious for u 2nd time, its never bad to get a counseling, this site has given him a lot of counseling :) A whole lot of the world will need counseling but won't happen. Forgive yourself emopunk, we we're wrong. I was wrong,I lied to exs and I still can't stand up for it. I cheated emotionally, but I controlled myself in the end and just have to pay for the price and learn to be BETTER!

In all honesty, this is how I feel. I feel like she should have gotten a bit of her own medicine for doing the same thing over 3 times even after agreeing not to. Of course I felt and still feel bad because I have so much love but I also felt very hurt. I didn't want to break up and talking felt useless since we already agreed many times before and I forgave her every time and I felt that was my only option. Of course I apologized and explained but it didn't matter. She wouldn't forgive me. Yet I forgave her every time. So many thoughts come to my mind. Did she do it because she had something to hide? Was she afraid to tell me? I don't know what to think. All I know is that I never did anything wrong and I always let her slide and the one time I did do something wrong was only what she did to me. Maybe she had been wanting to leave me and this just helped her decision. So maybe better now than later I guess.

Well, I can tell you this... If you two would have kept this up, you would both feel hate for each other, nothing but hate. You wouldn't of wanted that would you?

If you forgave her and she's still unwilling to come back to you because you have lost trust in her and she's the one who can't forgive, then you need to move on to someone else. If you let things slide too many times and never really confronted her until now, then you let this relationship out of control. It's no use beating yourself up and stressing yourself. It's time to move on.

Thank you bswc, rookie100 and 2ndtime for your replies... I am just sad and trying to move on. I have been feeling better. Just learning how to cope with this not working out again. I keep beating myself up for not trying even harder this time for things to work out even though I really feel I did.. Something inside says how hard did I try if its over again. I just want to cry but tears don't fall. Its strange.

It takes two to make it and two to break it.
Can't make tears? Part of you is sick to death of being beat on by the other. Paint Your Room!

What do you mean part is tired of being beat on... what part rookie?

I think what rookie100 is trying to say is that your heart's broken too many times, that's why the tears don't come out.

Something is telling you to move past this. You've even started to entertain others. You need to stop beating on yourself and part of you is realizing it. Tears are starting to dry...

Wow... that could be right... I barely cried in the last 2 months... maybe twice... maybe this was meant to happen after all. I hold no hate towards her but I feel like if I don't keep her in memory then I am giving up on her. And the love I have makes it hard to give up... But as long as I know that its not out of hate but just to know that it is time, maybe its time for me to give up. That's hard because I never give up. I really tried so hard. I get so upset why she betrayed me and did that... and although I get upset for not having enough patience, she shouldn't have betrayed me over 3 times. And I shouldn't feel at fault because had she not done that we would still be fine. Maybe its time for me to give up altogether.

You are coming along just fine...

What made you change your mind on painting the room?

Good luck emopunk7! You just started a healing process.

It's up and down emopunk. And maybe it would help not to think of it as giving up? Maybe you could think of it as changing your goals? Your goal now could be to build a new life without her. I don't know, just my 2 cents. Hope you feel better :)

I'm feeling a little down... too many memories.

When I'm like that, I usually listen to sad music, cry to get it out, and then try to distract myself; listen to music, watch a movie, talk to a friend (about something unrelated), whatever that helps take your mind off it.

I took a shower and I feel a little better. I'm going to register for college now.

To hell with these feelings! My ex lied to me about sleeping and ignored me while I was working and worried. That's not being insecure... If anybodies significant other said they were going to sleep and you found out they were partying, YOU would be pissed especially after talking about not doing that several times! I shouldn't feel pity. She hurt me all those hours and many times... She just didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. So to hell with these feelings, right?

Hey man hang in there, I'm going through a breakup now too
We got to realize these girls just don't care so screw it, just got to grind through the days somehow
p.s. nice job for applying for college

Quote:

Originally Posted by emopunk7

I took a shower and I feel a little better. I'm going to register for college now.

What are you thinking about majoring in?

I just declared my major in Accounting.

Jesus your going to make a lot of money lol

Quote:

Originally Posted by emopunk7

I just declared my major in Accounting.

I am almost surprised that you didn't go for design of some type. However, I think accounting will a good choice. :)

I always wanted to be an architect but the school is like $40,000 year... too much money times 4. Not many jobs that pay much either and not many jobs period. I love numbers so accounting is my back up.

To hell with these feelings! My ex lied to me about sleeping and ignored me while I was working and worried. That's not being insecure... If anybodies significant other said they were going to sleep and you found out they were partying, YOU would be pissed especially after talking about not doing that several times! I shouldn't feel pity. She hurt me all those hours and many times... She just didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. So to hell with these feelings, right?
Is this how I should be thinking? And is it correct?

Well, it's hard to rid yourself of feelings, but don't run yourself down. God knows I've had moments were I've done just that though, but don't dwell on it for too long. "Into the woods and out of the woods and home before dark!"

Good luck with the accountant thing, you'll have no problem finding a well paid job, and if you also like it, well then good on you :)

Thank you something hire... anybody else?

Both of you are pretty childish, that's what it sounds like to me. 4 years is a long time, give it a rest if she's been with you being jelous and everything else, for that long, why question her. You both sound as if you are way too much alike. And oh by the way since when did hurting the person you love become acceptable for payback?

I'm going insane!! I feel so hurt like I ruined everything. Did I ruin everything?
Hell with these feelings! My ex lied to me about sleeping and ignored me while I was working and worried. That's not being insecure... If anybodies significant other said they were going to sleep and you found out they were partying, YOU would be pissed especially after talking about not doing that several times! I shouldn't feel pity. She hurt me all those hours and many times... She just didn't care about me as much as I cared about her. So to hell with these feelings, right?

Keep in mind that I was hurt that she lied and I spoke to her about it at 12AM and she didn't want to hear it... then she curses me out and hangs up. Then ignored me till 5AM and just did what she wanted. Isn't that wrong? Then she calls me at 5 and I try talking calm as pissed as I was and she curses me out again and says "f you, I been doing this!" and then she hung up and ignored me again. Like I don't deserve that treatment just for going to work and doing nothing wrong. And the next day she didn't even give me time but she gave me about 5 minutes of her break and told me she is stressed out and doesn't want to hear it so then that's when I couldn't take it... I tried. Isn't she in the wrong? Plus I apologized for what I did back unlike her little I'm sorry I love you text. I sent multiple texts and went to her job to show I'm really sorry. Why is everyone blaming me. I was very hurt.

Nonetheless I miss her... What do I do? Was she just looking for a way to end it anyway? Was this her easy way of getting out?

You're on the treadmill again, emo.

Instead of running in place and exhausting yourself while getting nowhere, tell us about how the redecorating is going.

How's your band doing?