Well I guess I could just delete the email and not say anthing to him about it. Plain and simple, unless he asks... but I guess I could be unavailable for a couple of weeks... just tell him that in my email and nothing else... just so he knows that I'm not being a diXX to him.

Or just put him in the same folder that u put her in

If he was your friend he would have realized that you are hurting and wouldn't be adding to your pain and confusion. This sounds like a friend that if you were hanging from a cliff he'd step on your fingers to see you hurt even more.

Ask yourself, would you do something like this to your friend? If you knew he was hurting would you continue to talk about his ex or send him emails that she sent you?

All right... I will mysteriously "disappear" for now...

Disappearing as in doing your own thing... moving on and such

Your right romefalls... I would never do that to a friend of mine... add more to his/her pain.

He is her friend first u know...

He's her friend first? Red flag! Drop him like you did her. You want her out of your life and everything connected to her.

Oh... ok... yeah theve been best buds since they were 11

But then again, not sure what his email said... since I deleted it.. for all in know - he might have just been checking in on me... who knows for sure! Darnit... how do I play this?

I guess the safe thingis to just do as everyone suggests and not contact him too

Btw he also left me a voicemail. Should I delete that too?

Review the page, then see if you want to ask this question again

Umm... yeah never mind... ill delete his voice mail too!

Sheesh.. u guys are givn me some TOUGH LOVE!!

hey everyone... its late... had more than a few beers... so I'm going to rant... its a long story I'm going to tell u so grab a drink..

I cnanott believe that fu^^n witch... how cold hearted she is to have put me thournhg everything! I just can't believe that a person could be so mean. I really think that she alerady made a decision to leave me and she just used that one night to finally say that she had enough...

dudes... you shouldve been there. Listne to this pathetic story... :

I live in san antonio... and we decided to go to austin for the weekend... go bar hopping etc... so here goes the story for u:

so she got off work at 6:30 when she said she would be at her place at 5 so that we could go to austin... we didn't eat so we stopped at applebees first...

by the time we got to austin it was 9:30 and she was tired... she told me that she wanted to take a nap for only 30minutes... and to wake her then... so I had a drink in the hotel room and noticed that she was snoring like a salior... no problem because things start to hop around 11pm anyway.. so no biggie.

I decided to let her sleep for one hour... then I woke her up and she threw a hissy fit saying that I shouldve woken her up sooner and that now she doesn't have time to get ready for the night...

so she yells at me for that and gives me the silent treatment.. then we leave the hotel and walk to 6th street.. the area where all the bars are... I asked: so where would you like to start at? And she tells me... it doesn't really matter because its all about me anyway! What the hell?

so I finally drag her to this bar and she's in a bad mood as the evening starts... well we hang out.. shes not talking to me... and so I say lets go to another bar... so we go...

our intention was to go bar hopping, get drunk and the go back to the room for some wild and hot sex.

um... so we go to the next bar and she go gets a shooter because she's an alkie remember?

so she gets me one too and I drink it and she takes my picture and looks at it and says... oh were just going to stay here.. because your already FU**ed up. I say no... lets go have some fun its only the second bar... and she gets hissy and says... no...

I say to her... dont be uncool and cause drama... lets have fun and go... so she goes with me outside where she walks ahead of me... and we go to another bar but there was another one we said we would go to... so I say... lets go... and she says... im not walking all that way so I could carry u back to the hotel rooom!

I tell her... im not drunk.. I wasn't... just buzzed... and she proceeds to walk 5 feet in front of me and we go to the club... she tells me to order her a beer while she is going to the restroom... as she is TEXTING someone... who knows who... she is always getting texts...

I get her a beer and stand there at the club waiting for her to come out of the bathroom... and notice as I stood there for 10 minutes that she is at standing table... by herself... I say if you saw me standing there why didn't u wave to me or come and get me... she didn't reply.

so then we are drinking our beers and she is not talking to me at all. She's saying that she is havinng "so much "fun... as she is cursing... and that she will have a much better time when she goes out with her friends the next day... ouch that really hurt me... so I told her... lets just go back to the hotel if your going to act that way...

so we leave and now she is walking 10 feet ahead of me... crying in 5 inch high heels! I could barly keep up with her... so we get back to the room and of course she doesn't take her clothes off... and goes straight to bed... I take a shower and come to bed and she is on her side.. with her back to me at the edge of the bed!!

I see her that she is cold so I go get a blanket for her and put it over her... how pathetic am I?

so... in the morning... she gets more texts and calls her friend and sounds peachy to them so I figure everythings cool with us... but no.

we drive back to san antonio and she gives me the silent teatment all the way back...

she drops me off at her apt. and I ask why is she still in the car? And she says that she has errands to do... um OK..

I say "i love you baby, sorry if i made u upset" and she looks at me and shakes her head up and down and peels off in her truck!! Can u guys believe that?!

that is the type of drama that I ALWAYS used to get with her...

have anyone of you all out there relate to me?

comments please... it really makes me so mad that I was such a wussy with her... I just wanted things to be nice. I loved her and I didn't want to cause any drama...

two weeks later.. she tells our mutual friend that she doesn't respect me because I'm not a "man" and I don't stand up to her!!

dang... I couldve EASILY unleased on her... I did so ONE time and she freaked out! Started crying and said I was "mean"
and the thing is... I didn't even begin to get upset...

anyway... thanks for hearing my rant... I got lots of these BS stories to tell u... if u want to hear them...

:( I'm not feeling sorry for myself... im just pis$ed that I put up with all of this and she didn't care one bit.

OR HE%% MAYBE IM WRONG... MAYBE ALL WOMEN ARE LIKE THIS!?

I Don't KNOW... was this normal behavior everyone?

Guys... I so want to read our friends email... he just sent ANOTHER ONE!!

Ughhhhhh!!

Hey you know what people?

I was thinking about those 2 emails.. that I got. Everybody - I am happy to tell you that I DID delete those emails!!

So I have NO clue on what they had in them... all that I saw was that they were forwarded to me through our friend...

Now I did read where it had... "i want to still be ur friend" and the other one said on its subject: "im at a place i want to be"

Now... I assume that those are HER words not his... well if that is correct then, she didn't RESPECT my wishes when I told her that I didn't want to hear anything from her until next month!

Even so, if those are her words.. then obviously she doesn't want to be with me. I will just assume that those ARE HER words and not our mutual friends. Either way... it seems to me that she dumped me for sure.

Whatever... I already TOLD her what she had to do if she wanted to. And, in all of our relationship... even when we broke like a gazzilion times... I ALWAYS came crawling back to her.. or I texted or emailed her...

But with your guyz help... I have had NC since I started talking to everyone here last 30ish days ago.

I'm sure she's surprised by my actions.

Anyway, it doesn't bother me that if it WAS her that I can assume wrote that... that she's gone, because in a way, I feel as if I was the one who ultimately decided to end it by doing NC as everyone here suggested.

Regardless, I will NOT respond to her /our friends email... but I was wondering although I have asked before... but I didn't get an answer... should I email our friend to say... that I got "his" emails but deleted them and that if he wants to continue to be my friend to not talk about her or tell me anything?

Advice please... and I'm NOT trying to be a martyr here... just want to know how to play it. I really do thank everyone here... that has given me advice...

U have helped me tremendously! Thnkx

And no... hes not a good friend even though he's hers first... but I don't want to be uncool and not talk to him... I think that for all that our friendship meant to me... I should at least email him and tell him that. But I don't know, that's why I'm asking... 'WHAT WOULD YOU DO" ;)

Hi Crazy,

You did great by deleting the emails, good for you! Honestly? I would just ignore both of them. He didn't respect your wishes and sent you those emails anyway. I would leave him alone too.

THANK YOU starlite1... I really appreciate you telling me that. It was tough deleting them without reading them... I put my hand over the screen so I couldn't see as I clicked "delete":)

All right that's one vote for ignoring "our friend"... and of course ignoring her. She really isn't the main issue anymore... I just want to go out like a "man" you know?

Going out like a man is ignoring the tramp, plain and simple.

Okay thanks romefalls19!

And that includes our mutual friend too?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by crazyoverher

okay thanks romefalls19!

and that includes our mutual friend too?

---

Yes indeed, absolutely! Every and all connections to her, no matter who.

He isn't a very good "friend" anyway... one of my friends goes through this kind of stuff, I NEVER bring up the ex around them... just common sense and respect!

OK thanks everyone... will do. But... he has been calling me 3 times already today!! Leaving voicemail!

What do you recommend I do? I don't want him calling me everyday to "check in on how im doing" u know? I'm sure that my EX wants him to talk to me so that she wonders what I thought about her emails! THAT I NEVER READ!! :)

Anyway, this mutual friend is getting on my nerves because of him calling me. He has my email address as it is so no need to change my phone numbr because he will just email me!

Or maybe he will get the message if I don't call him back... to leave me alone.

Help.. advice please.

He will get the message... just ignore and move on. Focus on yourself, and don't worry about him or her.

Just go on ignoring him, he has been ignoring your requests for space... he will eventually get fed up of being put in the middle if you aren't involved and he will tell your ex that eventually.

You need to be healing, he is just prolonging the pain... not much of a friend.

Tonight you could email him on your own terms, tell him that you have been requesting to be allowed to move on with your life and that for the time being if he can't keep you out of situations involving the ex you are going to keep to yourself. If he is willing to be considerate of your feelings, then he must stop forwarding emails and leaving voicemails. All contact has to have absolutely nothing to do with your ex.

Hmmmm. That's a good point - not talking about my ex... I have already brought that up... but sadly I think that if I am stlll friends with him... I will eventually find out what she is doing AND with whom... se# and all, and that would be WAY too painful to take.

Too bad because although he wasn't a great friend as everybody says... he did help us get back together a couple of times...

That said, you still think that way or is justwantfair... right?

I'm sorry to ask you that in a different way again BUT I did want everyone to know that about him.

Any thoughts?

hey my friends for life :) don't bail on me just yet... yeah it like things are slowly gettn bettr... but I have a lot of questions to ask about the afterwards. Our mutual friend... us running into each other san antonio is a very very small town. There are like only 4 nice bars here soooooo... u see what's ah

cya latter, I don't know how mnay people are on here but it be cool beans if eveyone had a mini convention every year! Count me in :) we could meet each oter in realifelf... we wouldn't feel weird because e=we know evey=rone.! ''

typing is bad,, I toodk ab ambiena and a 12 pack... cya.

Well first of all I really think that you need to be away from her for a while and work on getting back yourself respect because if you don't then this relationship is just not going to work. But you can do it in a nice way, why don't you send flowers to her to show that you are still interested in her and ask her to meet with you, then talk about what went wrong and maybe suggest to really take a break from each other and think about things because breaking up all the time is not healthy for either of you. Hope this helps!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by sarah63

Well first of all I really think that you need to be away from her for a while and work on getting back your self respect because if you don't then this relationship is just not going to work. But you can do it in a nice way, why don't you send flowers to her to show that you are still interested in her and ask her to meet with you, then talk about what went wrong and maybe suggest to really take a break from each other and think about things because breaking up all the time is not healthy for either of you. Hope this helps!

---

No offense, but this is not good advice. For one, we are 43 pages in, and I don't think you read all that's been going on. Second, A guy should never and I mean never buy a woman flowers or anything else after a break up. It comes off as desperate... which it is, and given what you said that he should get his self respect back (which I agree with) if he did this even in the best of circumstances it would come off as giving mixed signals.

Hi... yeah I got to agree with chuff...

Our relaitonship is over. If she wants it back then SHE will have to come to me really ready to make concrete changes.

Even then, I'm not sure that it would be for the best. She has disappointed me too much...

With that said, I just hope that I don't run into her anytime soon... it would be like 2 lovers meeting each other again and who knows how feelings could reemerge... with just one look... on both of our ends!

HI everyone... an update:

I know you all are going to be disappointed but I had to email our mutual friend to tell him that I didn't want to hear anything about her. So, if he calls and wants to have a beer, that's cool, but not to say anything. It would just be as "friends"

I thought about sending that email all weekend long, especially after hearing everyone's advice but to me, even though he may not have my best interest at heart, I cannot "hide" or treat someone that way, after knowing him for as long as I've known her.

We have shared some good times but taking your advice is something that I will remember, just in case, he says something. Ill give him that chance. I'm not a coward and going out without telling him my reason, just made me feel that way.

Anyway, like I said, this doesn't mean I'm not going to heed what everyone says here. I will. Keep up your support!

I feel like everyone here is on my side and weird as it may sound, my friends...

Ill keep you posted.

Hey guys... its late at night and I'm not busy... guess that's my problem.. but I have a question for youall.. :

Why is it that I still "want" this woman who is obviously not good for me? I'm not one for abuse.. never have been. But she's like a drug to me. If you can say I have "withdrawls" that would be true. I don't "intellectually" want her... I KNOW that she is destructive for me... but I can't help why I think why I am drawn to a woman who is a "bad" girl... in ALL sense of the word.

Anyway... I know you guys aren't shrinks... but I was just wondering if anyone of you know this feeling and have some advice for me.

Thankx.

And NO.. im not going to get back with her... I still have NC!!

Memories are fading... but at times, like today, I remember some really good times...

Well, it feels like an addiction because it is an addiction. Don't fret. You'll be fine soon enough. Just try to think about something else.

I found out that after sometime, we still keep hanging on just because it feels better to have the messy ex situation than having nothing at all. It is hard but do your best to just not think about any of this. Shift your focus to other things. It'll help forgetting.

THANK YOU!! Imtotally lost!

I really appreciate your input.

Yeah, it really is an addiction... I know she isn't right for me... but I don't have anyone to lean on except for this forum... so thanks again for your comments imtotallost!

I'm going to go to bed... tomorrow is another day.

Man I know how that is one it could be a test to c if u really want her she is playng the hard to get game some time makes people recognize whatthey have she will be back just keep doing what yor doing it will be cool show her you care a lot about her

Thanks for your input joshrach1031...

Everyone here is the update...

Like I mentioned to everyone, I emailed our mutual friend... here is the email he sent back to me... :

It's good to know your ok..altough I can undersand your feelings of loneliness. I m here for you if you should need me ,even if you just need to vent my friend. I'm here.

I know you got alot going on in your life and sometimes the weight gets too great to seemingly bear but know that you are not alone.

I'm always here for you if you need me...know that my friend...trust in it. You are my equal in everyway too and it givesme tremendous joy to have such a good person in my life, that I can call my brother...

Your friend.

Well community... there you have it. I asked that he not tell me anything about HER... and that's what he wrote back... With that in mind... how do you feel about that? What would be your advice? It seems as if he will respect my wishes... I don't know... I know that Rome believes that this is no good but there you have the proof...

What does everyone have to say?

Thankx.

I think you want to keep him in your life knowing there is a connection with her.