A little crazy? Why am I the bad guy here?

Sit & wallow or get on with it.

The whole reason we are here is because of you. We heard all of this already.

Stop letting us down. Screw her.

Get out. Get some fresh air.

Again you're are posting, reading, experiencing things, but its one ear & out the other.

Let me ask you? Why do you love this girl so much now?

Or why do you hate yourself?

We all have bittersweet memories from our past relationships.

The thing is to not allow yourself to swim around in the murky pond of a failed and abusive relationship.

You have to chose yourself,life and happiness.

Only you can do that.

Vanheart, you have mistaken. I mean the things I'm going through now are a little crazy. Not you, as you guys have been very helpful. Without you guys, I wouldn't be where I am now. I guess maybe when I got to know she's moving to another part of the world, the feelings just rush in again. It's like I'll never see her again. It's silly to feel this way, it's silly to even think of it. I started to wonder if my feelings for her would ever change...

Sorry guys, I was using my housemate's desktop. Didn't know he didn't sign off from it. He was the one who recommended this site to me...

I've finally calmed myself down... I know there's nothing I can do but to let go. It hurts so bad.. I guess one of the things that's holding me back is she may be a different person now... A better one maybe? And it does take a lot of time to forgive myself for not treating her right in the past too. And the reason why I find it hard to let go is because she was the first person I fell so hard with. I made her my priority and now I'm left with nothing but tears and heart aches... I skipped my classes and wandering around like a lost soul. I thought I've had enough of bad news... till my friend told me that she's moving. I have a lot to pick up... I will try harder this time to get up from this fall. I will try not to dwell in the past... and concentrate on the present moment. I hope I will feel better soon :(

Whenever I got in a blue mood, and wanted to go crazy over a lost love, I always remember the bad times, to remind me how lucky I was to be rid of the problem, most times I got mad at myself for putting up with so much BULL CRAP!!

I don't know if this is normal but somehow I feel that she's just want to "erase" all the memories we had by moving far away from here so that she won't be reminded on how we used to be whenever she goes... Is it normal to feel this way?

Your over analyzing the situation , she's not the one in pain or denial so why should she move to another country to forget the memories?

Bottom line is you're the one who's having trouble letting go , like we've been telling you to do now for nearly 3 months :rolleyes:

It's normal to have feelings of loss and heartache after a breakup but there comes a point where you just have to accept it and realise that wondering what she's doing and thinking means absolute jack sh*t because it's totally out of your control.

The sooner you do that the sooner you'll heal and not be stuck with all this turmoil in your life , it's 3 months now Tragedy , and we can't do it for you , we can only cuddle you through the initial period and advise you what you need to do , you're the one who needs to do it.

Tragedy,

We've given you love, advice and harshness. Oh, yeah & cuddling...

Its beyond time for realization and some SERIOUS EFFORT on your part. Doesn't seem like you listen or want to take the steps. Why is that? Do you want to keep letting yourself feel like sh$$t?

After she dumped you, she didn't hurt you any longer. You just continue to hurt yourself. All in your head.

She's gone & is doing what she wants.

No more reason to hang on. Start doing something, anything as long as its for you.

Hey man,

She will NEVER hurt you again.

This is something I would never thought it will happen but it does. My ex wanted to meet up with me! And she denied the fact that she's moving. Why? It's already confirmed she's moving and why does she need to play games with my head and told me that ain't true? She made the entire context like I was the one who avoided her first, but in fact she avoided me like the plague. Again, why? Won't she get tired of lying and stop playing games? That reminds me of how she "showered" me with love on my birthday by giving me a 2nd hand PS2! Now it makes me feel like I'm worth nothing. What's with the meet up? Should I even go?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tragedy

Again, why? Won't she get tired of lying and stop playing games?

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She will , if you stop reacting to it.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tragedy

What's with the meet up? Should I even go?

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Yeah sure go , if you want to go back to square one and undo all the healing you've done so far :rolleyes:

Stay with the NC, and be done with the games, and whatever else she has in store for you.

What could she say except "I'm sorry for being an idiot", and I doubt that's the case.

I doubt she'll be saying that too. She did tell me that she wanted to make peace with me that's why she's asking for a meet up. What's with making peace? So that she can forget about the past and have a better life with her current man? I was ditched like a dirt for god's sake! What does she want from this meet up? To tell me how wonderful her new man is? I feel sooooo betrayed.

The Dumper often feels guilty for the dumping , that way they like to stay in the friendzone to ease their guilt , ie: knowing you don't hate them.

It's actually quite selfish which is why it's wise to stay NC , and that's for your sake not hers.

Call it a hunch... I think she has completely moved on and ready to be friends again. In another words, she no longer stings when she sees me. But it still stings when I see her. She moved on so fast with another man and I'm very sure it helps her a lot since she's being showered with "Love" where else I'm stuck here crying like a sick puppy. :(.

Now, when she's ready, she wants to meet up. How selfish is that? Can't she recall what she did to me?

Don't meet up with her.
There is no point and it will set you back.

Whatever her reasons are,they are not important now.

The important thing is your own continued healing.

Tragedy, you've got to be kidding here. Honestly.

What? Still not listening to a piece of advice here. Were getting blue in the face.

What exactly are you looking for? Someone that says its OK to go after this girl. Ok go after her. THERE.

You are being a total idiot. C'mon.

This is becoming another joke. Don't take this help for granted.

Think about that.

Vanheart, thanks for the slap. You guys have been a great help. I will not meet her because deep inside I know it will not do me any good. I seriously need to heal. Too much of pain. :(. I've been keeping myself really really really busy lately, so that whenever I reach home, I'll feel extremely tired and doze off. This saves me from having her images flashing through my head, which hurts a lot.

You must make a conscious choice to leave all this,sorry,BS in the past.
Make your mind up to do that,and stick to that decision.

You deserve to start being good to yourself.
Get on with it,and keep up the staying busy-thats the way to go.