Basically longgggggg story

Oh I see... But why didn't you want to stay with him?

Well he started hanging out with an old friend who was older and a bad influence on him.. making him be someone who I knew he wasn't. This guy took my boyfriend out in the city and I didn't hear from him for TWO WEEKS! NOT COOL! It was unusual and this guy put silly things into his head telling him he was whipped & stuff. Soo once he finally came back I was so upset that I didn't know where he was, if he was OK, if he found someone else... that I just said screw this it's over.

I gotcha... well u can PM me anytime.

I hope to have a wonderful day tomorrow! Same for everyone else. Night itsamor.

What would you do if...
Your girlfriend goes with you and your cousin and her boyfriend to a bar to chill with your friends. Then when you leave with your girlfriend and cousin and her boyfriend, your girlfriend decides to leave your cousin and boyfriend behind. She keeps walking fast and you are telling her to please slow down so that they can catch up because they are so far behind. Then your cousin yells hey wait for us but your girlfriend still says no they can walk faster. Then she turns and says you are the worst boyfriend ever and she runs away for no reason. Then you follow so that she don't think you don't care and then she comes running back and throws punches at you and calls you an "a hole" in front of everyone. Then she runs away again to a train station and you go to her and say sorry for her getting upset and she yells "get the f... away from me" and continues saying hurtful things in front of your cousin. What would you do after?

Can someone answer?

Get another girlfriend.

Doesn't sound like she enjoyed herself that much!

Forget about this GF or any GF for that matter until you've learnt to be happy being alone. Either that or invest in some boxing gloves.

You seem to me to have an obsession about having to have a girlfriend , believe me it's a lot healthier to be happy alone than in a dysfunctional relationship.

Thank you for your response. I have to stop asking these questions. My friends invited me out and for the first time I did go. I had fun. Its not a relationship but it was a good time. Can't remember the last time I went to a bar alone with friends. They invited me and I said yes. I got a pretty girls number and I just tried enjoying the moment and I'm home now and still pretty excited but its still not my ex. Maybe soon I can get over this. I have sooo much appreciation for everyone trying to help me. I know some can be okay and not understand the pain which feels like a death bed but thank you for those who can relate. This is pretty bad. Soon I hope to understand all this. I don't want to use the word love losely... but I have a certain love for the people helping me here. You guys keep me trying day by day. And as obnoxious as I sound, I am keeping no contact. Someday I will be proud of my hard efforts! Thank you! Thank you T-Man especially for not giving up on me!! Thank you friend4U... I think your advice is always great... And she did say she was miserable a lot... so you are both right... But that just makes me think I wasn't good enough... I really tried my best. Soon my happiness will come... I don't plan on being single... My dream is to have a good job and have a great happy family with a woman I love... I am 24 and right now semi-drunk but I hope I will be okay in this world. Lots of love till tomorrow!

You seem to yype better when your drunk, LOL. Hey don't rush life Emo, it comes to you any way.

"Its a cinch if you take it by the inch.

Its hard when you take it by the yard"

Emo, I really hope that someday you find the woman who can work with you to build a wonderful life.

For today, just enjoy living. Enjoy rebuilding friendships that you have let slip away.

Yes-enjoy life-and hopefully no hangover.:-).

Glad to see that u've made progress again emopunk! I just realise amhd doesn't keep u on track if u don't post some answers after the poster made a reply. I'm feeling good too!

I had to hold myself from crying today about two times... I just wonder why is it that people cheat and still forgive each other yet I couldn't be forgiven for doing what she did. Does it mean she didn't love me as much as I loved her? I even asked for forgiveness and said sorry after. So I'm confused.

Emo you re doing it to yourself again-asking yourself endless questions that most likely will not ever find answers.
Don't be so hard on yourself-you re coming up to the two months mark soon-try to look forward and not allow yourself to revisit the past.

Yeah, I guess I want answers to questions that can never be answered.

Emo, this may sound strange, but you need to go FULL No Contact. You seem to be using questioning yourself and past events as a way to hold on to her much like other people do MySpace and Facebook. On the surface, it doesn't look like contact because you aren't calling or texting her. However, your mind seems to be using making lists and questioning as a subconscious way to hold on to her memory and indirectly her.

Stop beating yourself up. Stop the questions.

When you find yourself thinking about her or who did what and when, give yourself a mental kick in the seat and change the subject to more enjoyable thoughts.

I like to think of it like a TV channel being changed... If you start to think about her, or the past, change the channel.
You can't think of two things at once.
A thought, a memory, has little to do with reality... its not 'now'. You can poke your finger right through one.

Wow Cat... No Contact is hard enough and now you think I should be able to control my thoughts. That will be VERY difficult. Especially since I'm a very loving person so it's hard to let go what I once gave my all to. I'm a romantic all the way. I believe in fighting till the end for what you want. This time it is sooo hard for me because I am going against my heart. I am not doing the "romantic" thing and I am also feeling like it's my fault for doing what she did back to her instead of dumping her or just ignoring it altogether. I'm dealing with that part the most. I know nobody is God to tell me that I made the right choice, or if it was bound to happen anyway in the near future, or if I would have ignored it, she would have continued anyway and to more extremes. I tell myself I could have spoken to her for the fourth time but then what? Tell her again the twentieth time as well? Two times was enough I think. But since we broke up, I feel like I should have gone to the twentieth time. I have trouble with my rationalization. Not knowing if I did the right thing or if breaking up was bound to happen, kills me. I am a great thinker. I should use my mind for better things. I am great at nearly all sports especially basketball, football, baseball and swimming. I love to design rooms. I love writing poetry. If anybody is interested just send me a PM... I can do it off the top of my head within minutes or professionally with great thought. I also play drums for my band. I guess I have a lot of things I can do instead of thinking about girls all the time. I guess I am trying to make my mind not torture me anymore because it keeps telling me this is all my fault. I am trying to make excuses but deep down I keep blaming myself for ruining it.

When we breakup it's not one person's fault-it does take two to tango-work on forgiving yourself -you re being very hard on YOU-and I think you deserve better. We' re all trying to help you here,please help yourself as well-and we can to some extent stop our thoughts from going
Down memory lane by switching our focus to something else.
Your poems are good-maybe you could write one about hope?

Take a challenge from me. Ok, here it goes... You can, for five days, only post about the things you listed above. Ie; music, sports, design, poetry writing. Tell me if this is a deal. I know what your going through. Im not disrespecting you at all... Just want you to take the challenge. What you think?

You are on Rockie! I'm always up for a challenge! Starting now till Thursday!

I will be happy to read all your great advice! Thanks for taking my challenge... Im with you all the way.
Rockie:)

Walking and walking through the darkest tunnel
Not a ray of sun can pinch its way through
An earthquake occurs when things couldn't get worse
Suddenly the tunnel cracks, the sun shines on you!

Paddling in the ocean, left abandoned and alone
Nothing to count on, you just may die of thirst
A rainstorm occurs when things couldn't get worse
Suddenly you can drink, someone put you first!

So when things look terrible and you seem lost
Wondering if you can ever make it or even cope
When life tears you down and you feel much pain
Remember in any situation, there is always HOPE!

Emo, I know it isn't easy.

I look forward to seeing how this challenge goes. Good luck. :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by emopunk7

Wow Cat...No Contact is hard enough and now you think I should be able to control my thoughts. That will be VERY difficult. Especially since I'm a very loving person so it's hard to let go what I once gave my all to. I'm a romantic all the way. I believe in fighting till the end for what you want. This time it is sooo hard for me because I am going against my heart. I am not doing the "romantic" thing and I am also feeling like it's my fault for doing what she did back to her instead of dumping her or just ignoring it altogether. I'm dealing with that part the most. I know nobody is God to tell me that I made the right choice, or if it was bound to happen anyway in the near future, or if I would have ignored it, she would have continued anyway and to more extremes. I tell myself I could have spoken to her for the fourth time but then what? Tell her again the twentieth time as well? Two times was enough I think. But since we broke up, I feel like I should have gone to the twentieth time. I have trouble with my rationalization. Not knowing if I did the right thing or if breaking up was bound to happen, kills me. I am a great thinker. I should use my mind for better things. I am great at nearly all sports especially basketball, football, baseball and swimming. I love to design rooms. I love writing poetry. If anybody is interested just send me a PM...I can do it off the top of my head within minutes or professionally with great thought. I also play drums for my band. I guess I have a lot of things I can do instead of thinking about girls all the time. I guess I am trying to make my mind not torture me anymore because it keeps telling me this is all my fault. I am trying to make excuses but deep down I keep blaming myself for ruining it.

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Hey emopunk, you fight to the last and u're romantic all the way but wrong focus this time. Uh uh, it's the "someone" in the future yet to come that, will be your target and also her target. Right now its time for all the music, sports, academic, job, self improvement that comes in handy in the future. Someone out there might be doing the same and we you get together, both of you will benefit from what u've done. I'm not giving you false hopes or telling you your next girlfriend is going to go perfect, right?

I am still a bit down... last night I was going through my phone and saw pics of her but felt okay and then went to bed after deleting them. Kind of shocked me because I thought they were all gone. I did think about it today though... Well I don't want to ask any questions because I am in challenge mode. Plus there will be no answers anyway. I don't know what else to write then... hmm...
I really want to paint my room. I thought I had the paint but I didn't. I have to buy it now. I started feeling guilty again today because I was thinking like what if someone told me they will pick me up and then when I call them they are hangin out and paying me back for what I did... Well then I answer myself and say well I guess I expect this since I did it to her and treated her so badly. I am upset but in a few days we will have to talk about how to deal with this and I will let her know why I went out behind her and that it won't happen again... After putting it like that, it makes me wonder how come she couldn't think like that. I would think like that... Nope, all she did was give up. And I think I just miss being next to her and holding her and I always felt horny around her. I'd do anything and nothing about her grossed me out. I'd pick her nose and vice versa as how close we were. I'd do it all. This is hard and I guess I failed the challenge. Or maybe not since I'm not asking a question but merely using this as a journal?

All the questions that floats in your mind are complicated questions. There's too many deciding factors when coming to a relationship, communication skills, how much you can love, your way of solving problems, and endless going list. If u knew you didn't did your best, write it down anywhere or just in your brain that you are going to be better in the future. She gave up because she GAVEUP! You're hurt because you LOVED her! That's the answer to where your path is leading you in the future, a better man.

From a third party point of view, u're getting stronger and stronger inside. There's nothing wrong to feel weak, it just wake up our mind abit. Not much people gets a wake up call from being great, that's human nature for a major group of people. It's a plan of God

Well I was thinking that through the weekend, I would see other threads/posts/answers, having to do with some of your intrests... i.e. sports, music, design. I watched... I waited... and then this!!
Oh well, you tried... I guess.

Thank you bswc... My ex ex Erica wrote me back today and we text back to each other about work. Then I wrote have a great day this morning. Then at 7PM she wrote back asking how was work. I said I'm still at work but how was her day and she said it was good. Is she interested again?

I am feeling a bit better about the break up. Hopefully another month and a half I will be good to go!!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by emopunk7

I am feeling a bit better about the break up. Hopefully another month and a half I will be good to go!!!

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There's no set time limit Emo , everyone handles adversity differently. BUT you can make it go quicker by not wondering about the if's , whys and what ifs ;)

Your doing OK Buddy:cool:

I thought you were everything I would ever need.
So I took a leap not knowing we could bleed.
You must be clumsy because you tripped and we broke.
Heartless and cruel, leaving me here to choke.

I'd rather be anywhere with anyone right now
Never understanding why you did this nor how.
Leaving myself wide open for you to enter or destroy
You took me for granted and played me like a toy.

One thing is for certain, we are through
I will never be yours and this is forever true
I know your evil ways, so far away I will stay.
I will live life to the fullest and enjoy everyday!

I really think you have a gift.

Holding hearts towards the stars with arms spread apart.
Lightning blues and thunder bliss, celebrates a fresh start.
The air so swift and ever gentle on thy skin
This feeling lets me know there is happiness within.

Comets fire blazing in speed from one side to the other
Picture perfect scenarios, hug thy sister and thy brother.
With time winding down, can we ever move too fast?
Life is but a theory, and everyday, drifting past.

Tranquil and peace, white tigers and water creeks
All the wonders in the world, includes all that human seeks.
Let life not overwhelm thee, just look to the skies above
Fireworks and glory, let every creation celebrate love!

This one evoked visual thoughts.

What color/colors are you going to paint the room?

Great analysis... Thats exactly what I was going for... Visual Thoughts.
I am thinking of painting it light lime gray and install gallery lights on the ceiling. I'm excited... Im going to go to home depot tomorrow.

You're gifted, I have little imaginations in my mind too, but its in blur images, not clear image like artists. People find it hard to get in me to understand me. If I'd have money I'd build a cottage with grass on the roof, or a house next to the beach, enjoying the private moment.

Oh yes, I think that room will have a calming effect. Modern color I think.

Yes, exactly... a modern color with calming effects... I love tranquility. I'm going to get those rocks with water falling down as well... When it is all done I will share photos... I can see it in my head now... Will cost me about $300 with paint lights and new shades. Possibly glass doors for my closet as well. I can't wait to get started tomorrow.

I'm sure you have great imagination... Just take your time and explore within your mind... Like think of colorful fish eating hot dogs under water with you on a table and you pass the fish a fork and he says thank you in french and you can understand what the fish said. The sky is the limit with imagination.

Pics would be cool...
Think you were responding to bswc in the latter part, but couldn't help seeing the fish with a handle-bar mustach... "merci beaucoup" lol