Thanks, ami, tal and sully for your kind insightful words. Im feeling much stronger today and I'm going to ignore him from now on again. Ive got too good a life going on for mummys boy to spoil it this time.

It just hurts that he says he loves me and then ignores my texts and calls for three days, that too me isn't love more like mind games. Xxx

That's it ignore him forever-NC forever!!

Thanks ami, I really do love this guy :0( and he uses that love to play mind games with me

Why is it that I have this fab fella who would give up his life for me yet I'm drawn to this other guy who treats me like dirt and only ever thinks of himself.?

While I've been trying to make this other guy speak to me I'm not putting in the time and effort with my fella, I don't want to lose this guy as he is the best guy in the world. God its just so hard, I'm not going to answer his texts and calls again, I made a mistake thinking we could be friends but you are so right when you say on here that sometimes after a relationship brakes down there is just no going back to being friends :0(

You need to detox yourself from this dependency you have-that's not love it's more like a drug you crave.

What you're doing to each other,and you're playing your part as well,as you can't leave it be,is toxic and a complete waste of time.

As for the relationship you are in now,do you really think it's fair on your current guy,your being with him,with all this carry on?

Have a think about that.

Ami - no I really don't think its right and fair on hence hence my saying in an above thread. Id never want to hurt him ever, hence my venting on here rather than contacting my ex. I just hate that someone could want to hurt someone else so badly, so any times including a few days ago I've thought of ending it all because of the hurt and pain my ex boyfriend wants to put on me. I won't do it though as I have a family and many friends that need my support at this difficult time (my nan) xx

So many people tell me that I'm a kind and loving person and that I'm so thoughtless towards myself and so giving to others, if this is so then why does this ex want to hurt me if I'm a good person?

Because he is not a good person, and the sooner you accept the world is full of bad people, who do bad things, then you will do what good people do about bad people, to protect themselves, they don't associate themselves with them at all.

Any attention you give them, brings bad things into your life.

Thanks Tal, I hate myself so much for loving him!!

Im just going to try and keep myself busy to forget him :0( I just hate it that someone can play on someone's loves for another. I hate to think that there are nasty people out there but I suppose its true and I've got to face that horrible fact. He just ignores me for days at a time and when he is bored he just texts me a "hey its me how are you" line and expects me to jump through a hoop.

He calls me a slag and a whore but then gets mad if I'm with someone else, its like he is jealous that I'm with somelse but don't really want me himself. I just don't understand many things at the moment but what I do understand thankfully is that he plays mind games and hurts others to gain happiness for himself xx

I love you Louise, but your repeating yourself, so forgive me for asking if you have been texting him recently?

I just need to know if this is him, or are you still trying to keep him in your life by still contacting him.

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He just ignores me for days at a time and when he is bored he just texts me a "hey its me how are you" line and expects me to jump through a hoop.

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I would expect he contacts you out of the blue, as you have not text, or called him in many months, I mean many months. But if you react to his texts, that's breaking no contact, and is keeping this vicious cycle alive.

He has been texting me Tal so I stupidly text him back saying I was with someone and yes I loved him but id like for us to be friends, he said that how can I be with someone else if I still loved him?

Forget friends,forget HIM.
If anyone were to call me the names he has called you,I'd sue them!

He even said the other day that he thought id make the pregnancy up and was lying. The names he calls me hurt the most, why would you say that to someone?

This is where you trip yourself up-you try to figure him out-instead of saying to yourself; Right,he is a complete idiot,s***f him,and then get on with your life.

That's what I'm doing ami now - I've spent far too long trying to analyse his $behaviour and it gets me no where and makes me unhappy. When we spoke the other day I told him how much he was hurting me, he said I don't know what hurt is and I asked him why he said that? He said that he self harms cause of the pain inside him!! This is the guy that said he cut my name into his arm and then blamed me (his ex girlfriend told it was all a lie and he hadn't cut hmself)

From now on I'm looking forward and forgetting him xx

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Originally Posted by louiseismyname

he has been texting me Tal so i stupidly text him back saying i was with someone and yes i loved him but id like for us to be friends, he said that how can i be with someone else if i still loved him?

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Harshness warning

So its you who have been not going No Contact properly that's kept this alive for so long? No wonder you have not healed, and been able to move beyond this idiot you think can be a friend.

Are you so desperate for a friend that you are fooling yourself? Yes you are as every post you have written is all about you keeping this idiot around to make you miserable. After the last nine months when do you take some suggestions, and do what it takes to keep the devil away from you.

Its not his fault he is a jerk idiot who disrespect you and calls you names.

Its entirely, absolutely YOUR fault for taking his abuse, ignoring NC, breaking NC, and going back to the same treatment as before.

That is utter INSANITY, doing the same freaking thing over, and over (breaking NC), and expecting different results. (him acting like a good person, he is not, and has proven to you, he will not even act like you want him too).

I hate it when someone whom I care about, and want her to be happy just keeps doing DUMB stuff to hurt themselves again, and again.:mad:

Especially when they keep saying how right I (and others) are with our advice, but don't heed it. My gosh, its been 8 freaking months of LYING to US!! :mad:::confused::mad:

Tal - I have never lied on this forum :0( believe me I regret TRYING to be his friend, I thought it would be OK between us and he would accept my new fella ! Big mistake and a lesson learned but I'm not in as deep as per usual and am happy to walk away now before getting hurt again.

I now understand that we can never ever be mates, yes that is sad as I do love the idiot but understand that my current fella is far more important to me than he ever was. I just need the strength to keep busy and keep my dignity that he is trying to take away from me. Il be OK, I always am, I've got my family especially my nans illness to keep my mind busy plus a whole heap of college work. Thanks again for your help guys, without you id be on the funny farm for sure. I won't post anymore comments on here as I don't want to upset or offend anyone xxx

I just want you to get on with your life and be happy-ok?

That's all I want also, but it really hurts to see my friend keeping running her head into a brick wall.

Don't let my rant stop you from posting, but I get upset when you aren't making the progress, you could be so for that I apologize, because here is where you should be comfortable to vent your feelings without me getting all emotional, and evil.

See, I am human too, and do have feelings same as you, and make mistakes sometimes... same as you. :D

Thanks for your advice - il not contact him again. I can now see the bigger picture and understand that its all controlling mind games and not love - yeah it hurts me very much and I feel like having a good old cry but il never shed another tear for him, that would been seen as weak in his eyes.

Maybe he did love me, maybe he didn't? I don't suppose il ever find out the real truth on that score

No,and just leave it at that,you'll never know.

Some people aren't capable of loving themselves,so they can't love anyone else.

Sad,but that's life.

Thanks ami - I just hate myself for loving someone who cares so little about my feelings :0(, I wish that I wasn't such an emotional and sensitive person at times.

Love yourself for being you-that's the best way to go about finding a happy,loving and fullfilling relationship.

What is the point of being in a relationship with him, there is clearly no trust.

Chickie - I don't want a relationship with him, I just wanted to be mates but that isn't going to happen now, he has been calling me all the names under the sun and some are far too graphic to print on here.

Im trying to keep busy and forget him but I don't have a button that allows you too stop loving someone regardless of the hurt they cause you, if I could make one of those buttons I think id be a millionaire by now and be living the high life in the sun :0)

Hey everyone - hope you are all OK and having a fun Easter (im doing uni work :0( )

I just wanted to let you know that I'm so over this guy still and am looking forward to the future and what it brings. If the texts to me carry on (ive had a few in the past few days saying the usual that I'm a cow, slag etc etc) il change my number. Im feeling very positive and understand that the guy is poision to me and that we will never ever be friends, which is sad but a hard fact of life xxxx

Now you're talking-stick to those decisions!

Happy Easter to you too -dont o'd on the chocs!

Hi ami - too late on the o'd lol, already ate a Rolo one!!

Hope your having a nice Easter, I'm much more positive than I was, I realise that my problems are not important compared to others around me in comparison. Plus why would I want to be with someone who says they love me(apparently lol!! ) but can turn round and call me those hurtful names. He even turned round to my mate last week and said that he hopes he gets cancer!! How nasty and sick is that eh!!

Just ignore,ignore and ignore.

Tell your mates to stop it with the updates-boring stuff!

(I only like After Eight-so had a few of those.. . )

Thanks ami, I love after eight too!
I just can't understand why I'm sad that someone that ignores me, calls me horrid names, lies to me and has cheated on me is not in my life anymore. I mean I should be happy that I'm free of that mental torment and I am 99% happy its over, but just can't get over the hurt that one day he wants to talk and the next he ignores me for no reason

There is no understanding him so just leave it at that.

Words are cheap-actions speak volumes.

Just let it go.

Louise, stop caring what he thinks, it's been way too long, this dragging out. You have come so far. You know you're a good person and that's all that counts. I personally wouldn't give him the time of day. It's over and move on, that's the best thing to do. There's three things a woman should never take is cheating, abuse and being married to an acoholic . He falls in that category. He is scum in my book, and he should be, in yours.

Thanks ami and sully, yeah he is not a nice person I know that. I keep saying in my head that he can only hurt me if I let him hurt me. That's something that I've heard on here a few times and believe it to be true.

And it is true-so don't let him.
(Grr!) :-)

Thanks once again, it just hurts me that he just ignores me and tells me he don't want to ever see me again and then I USED to text him and ask him to be my friend and he just ignores my texts. So I stopped texting him and then I think he didn't like that I wasn't chasing him anymore and he would get in touch?? / does that sound like mind games to you??

Yes.

Look-he never was nor will he ever be your friend.

Stay with the decision you made,no contact.

Ever.

Thanks Ami - don't worry this time its going to be NC for good I PROMISE.Like I said, I'm feeling much better about the whole situation, oh I forgot to say, I got accepted into uni!! Start in Sept (mentally health nursing quite ironically lol) xxx

Congrats on that-good subject-you can use your own experiences with the mentally incompetent in your work.. .

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Originally Posted by amicon

Congrats on that-good subject-you can use your own experiences with the mentally incompetent in your work.. . . . . .

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Lol... that comment just made my day :0) xxx

Thanks again all for all your help and support- without you guys I really don't think id be here right now typing this. Its funny how you can open your heart to strangers but not your own family and friends.

Im much stronger now and certainly won't be taking anymore of his nonsense when he decides to come running back when he wants to be in contact again. It is his loss if he don't ant my friendship not mine, its not me that lives at home with mummy aged 31, is a lier, cheater and general scum bag who has been nicked for drink driving (that rant made me feel better lol)

I hope you all had a lovely Easter and thanks once again xxx

Stay strong and focused on you. Do whatever it takes you to keep busy. He's dirt, and don't even mention his name. He is a poor example of a man. No respectful person treats a woman like that. Thank the Lord, you are rid of this man,he did you a great favor. His name after awhile you won't even mention... Good luck and vent to us, we are here for you, as always.

Thank you sully, that really means a lot to me. Don't worry I've learnt my lesson the hard way but getting my heart broke but it will mend and it will become another one of lifes little lessons I think.

It does make me mad that he thinks he can ignore me as he pleases and generally treat me like dirt and then come running back as he pleases. Well the boy has got a rude awakening next time he comes crawling back - I Isn't LISTENING OR RESPONDING TO HIM
Thanks again all xxxx