Yeah NC is not working here. He just uses it as a defense mechanism when it isn't going his way... then one word from her and he is right back there and all that.

Reck
Yeah she won't call you. It is to her advantage to not call you. Out of sight, out of mind.
She will stall talking to you because she DOESN'T HAVE to talk to you.
So all you can do is when the time is right you take advantage of the opportunity to tell her.

It worked once before. Regardless of this fact, I have lost. I have 0 hope. Her parents will not be reasoned with. They probably will not even call. She will call within a week. I will agree with the breakup. Time will pass by. Situations will be decided.

It was decided 19 pages ago, you are just to thickheaded to accept that it's over. Why would she want to be together with someone who doesn't have a spine and she can manipulate into thinking he's got a chance and getting whatever she wants while being able to meet new people.

And I know you're going to say "she's not seeing anyone else" and if you believe that, you're just a darn fool

Right now she isn't seeing anyone else. I know this is true. She doesn't have the time with RD still staying at her house until Monday. Maybe a week later she will. Maybe a month later she will. I know that's what her friends want. They'll try their best to hook her up with somebody.

The only way to be strong is to ignore her. Even when she calls I have to not pick up. The talk with her parents can't end well so why am I even trying? My hope was stolen from me yesterday.

I say that I won't pick up, but I probably will. Curiosity will force me to do it. I'll tell her it's over and that I accept it. Time will pass. Things will happen.

Wow, you are so naïve. You are STILL blaming her friends for things, I can already tell that you don't like blaming her for anything or yourself.

If she wants to see other people, she will do it on her own. She doesn't need her friends help. You really need to get out of her life, you are way to attached to her for anyone's good

I do blame myself. I'm getting out by telling her I'm getting out.

WHY! Why do you feel the need to tell her you are getting out? I think getting out is what she wanted considering she ended it

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

WHY! Why do you feel the need to tell her you are getting out? I think getting out is what she wanted considering she ended it

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Yep looks to me like the self justification thing of
YOU can't fire me I quit
I HAVE to have the last 'laugh'.

I want her to know that I agree to our being finished so she doesn't think she can come back whenever she wants to. She knows she has me and I have to tell her that she doesn't.

You know how you stop her from thinking that?

Don't pick up the phone when she calls!

It's really that simple

Fine. Eventually she'll get the message once she has tried enough times.

You have told her that a few times within the past week or so and you still keep going back
So she KNOWS already that your final words are not your final words so what's the point?

I can picture it now. You on the phone telling her we are through. She is rolling her eyes and saying whatever to patronize you and thinking in the back of her mind... we had this conversation last week when he called and sang that silly song to me. Wonder when we will have this conversation again... maybe this weekend. Okay I'll keep playing along to see how long this goes on.

I never told her that. I never said we were over or that I would stop calling. Romefalls19 is right when he says the best way is to not pick up.

So you never told her that after the play you were through ''If... '' or that you were only going to the play because you already had the tickets.

Anyway whether you said anything to her or not about not being together. She knows your patterns and she knows you like a book so if you did call and say you are through she won't believe it because she figures she knows you all too well

Nope. I never did say that we were through. I said I was going to the play because she told me it was good and I wanted to have fun.

I'm not going to call her. She's going to call me. You're right when you say she knows me like a book, but I know her like one too.

When she calls I'll tell her we're done. Then I have to enforce it.

I honestly cannot believe I have read this whole thread... but I have AND I read it to everyone at work. Reckless I want to meet you so bad because if anything to hit you upside your head so you get some common sense back. There is no way you can be this attached to this girl that honestly does not care about you and just keeps you around for entertainment purposes... My coworkers and I have desperately been trying to figure out how old you are... we have a bid going on and my bet is that you will never tell. I'm amazed at all the advice that you have been getting from all these intelligent and knowing people but everything seems so repetitive... I swear these 20 pages are repeated every other page because you have this weird bipolar stage where you are just going back and forth on what to do; like one min you are done with her climbing a mountain moving on crap and the next she kissed me three times on the mouth and I asked her to be my girlfriend...

This is all very amazing to me... When I first read your question my heart went out to you and I thought your "gf" was a loser; then by I think it was page two I was like awesome he is getting somewhere he can break up with her and move on with his life... then this crazy rollar coaster kicked in... I no longer feel for you I see you as a controlling, manipulative, kind of obsessed guy. And now I am feeling for your "gf"... I really hope you figure this out and what you really want and if this is it please continue but reading this thread makes me want to scream due to your ignorance...

I hope all ends how you want it to reckless but with past experience and a little common sense I think you just might not have the outcome you want.

Good Luck,
Kagan

Quote:

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Originally Posted by reckless

i want her to know that i agree to our being finished...nope. i never did say that we were through.

the best way is to not pick up....when she calls i'll tell her we're done. then i have to enforce it.

...you're right when you say she knows me like a book, but i know her like one too.

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Haha, good God, you don't make sense. You'll never learn, and she's probably been seeing someone this whole time, but I bet you believe she's not because she told you so.

Honestly slapshot, I don't give a damn.

It's been 3 days of NC.

I went out with my friends to a movie and they all convinced me that she's a horrible person. They told me to convince myself that I didn't need her and that I had to live for myself, not for her. They said that I wasn't the same person, always depressed and such. They said they wanted to see the real me next time we went out.

They're all right. At this point it doesn't matter whether I wanted her back or not. This situation is totally unsalvageable. I shouldn't want her back because she's done this twice to me.

I have no more elaborate plans. My only plan is to NC and if she really wants to talk to me she'll find a way besides the phone.

She hasn't called the whole 3 days. She obviously doesn't want to talk to me. Normally I would chalk this up to her wanting to spend the last few days with her best friend in peace, but I'm not that crazy anymore. Why should I waste all my time on someone who doesn't care?

Her parents haven't called. Something inside of me knew they wouldn't. I prepared myself for this. Now it's just hard because I'm trying my best to stop thinking about her.

Her friend will be back home tomorrow. I'd like to call her friend just to find out how my ex feels. I know that's probably not the best thing to do, but I'd like to know the reason behind all of this without asking my ex. I'll probably never find out the real reason and I'll just have to live with that.

Thanks for telling me how stupid I am. You were all right. Good job.

update:

It has been a week of NC and I kept strong.

I went to the mall and asked my usual shopkeeper for a green tea drink. I asked him how much it would cost. He replied, “For you... $4.” I saw him ring up $4.67 on the cash register. After a few minutes of mixing, he handed me a green tea smoothie

Me: “That's not what I asked for. I want liquid green tea, as usual, not a smoothie.”
Shopkeeper: “I've never sold liquid green tea. I just sell coffee.”
Me: “Then what were you selling me before? Don't you remember me?”
Shopkeeper: “I remember you, but I don't remember what your drink was. What color was it?”
Me: “A brownish color.”
Shopkeeper: “Then it must have been coffee.”
Me: “No, it was definitely green tea.”
Shopkeeper: “Ask anyone around here if I sell green tea. They know me. I've been here for 7 months.”
Me: “No. What am I going to do with this green tea smoothie? I don't want this. You take it.”
Shopkeeper: “I don't drink smoothies, I just drink coffee.”
Me: “Then I'm going to have to give it to someone.”
Shopkeeper: “The trashcan is right over there.”
Me: “No, I'm not going to waste it.”

I asked a random person if they wanted a free smoothie. They refused.

Me: “Ok, now what?”
Shopkeeper: “I'll make you a deal. You can ask five more people if they want your smoothie. If you can get one of them to take it, I'll pay you $10.”
Me: “Five people?”
Shopkeeper: “Five people.”
Me: “Fine, deal.”

I asked four people if they wanted a free smoothie and all four refused. I returned to the shopkeeper.

Me: “Ok clearly, this is messed up.”
Shopkeeper: “You better hurry. I'm closing this place up in two minutes.”
Me: “Ok, wow. So you're giving me a time limit now?”
Shopkeeper: “Yeah! I have to be out of this place by nine.”

I finally saw a good target. There were two young punk guys and one of their fat girlfriends. All I had to say was “free smoothie” and the punk guy took it right out of my hands.

Me: “Ok, I win.”
Shopkeeper: “I'm true to my word.”

He opened up his register and pulled out my $10. I walked away satisfied and $6 richer. I got home and the first thing I wanted to do was tell my ex about my story. Surprisingly, SHE HAD CALLED ME half-an-hour ago, when I was still in the mall. I called her and immediately broke into my story in an excited voice. She laughed at my story and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Me: “That's all I wanted to tell you. I'm really busy, I have to go now.”
Her: “Wait…wait! So why did you call RD (her best friend) a few days ago?”
Me: “I just wanted to talk to my best friend in the world.”
Her: “Your best friend?”
Me: “Yeah, pretty much. I wanted to know if she made it back to Florida okay.”
Her: “Oh…alright.”
Me: “I have a lot of stuff to do. Bye.”

I hung up, but within fifteen seconds the phone rang again.

Me: “Okay, so why are you calling me again? I told you I was busy.”
Her: (Giggle.) “I meant to call RD.”

That's my story. She's curious as to how I'm doing. I showed her that I'm doing just fine and that my life is exciting. I hung up on her because I was “busy.” I think I'm doing it right. Back to no contact again.

I'd really be just fine without her at this point. My friend is trying to hook me up with a girl I don't know, but those things never really pan out. I'll get a new girlfriend on the random eventually.

I was wondering where you disappeared to.

Looks like you need to find another coffee shop while you're at it.

Well I guess that sums it up for NC reckless style.