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-   -   Can I get back with my ex-girlfriend after 2 months of no contact? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=333721)

  • Apr 10, 2009, 01:28 AM
    PirandelloLuigi

    Here is a great song that fits well with the situation I am in.

    YouTube - Kanye West - Heartless (Official Video HQ) (UMG Owns)
  • Apr 10, 2009, 05:16 AM
    kctiger

    Pirand: I almost lost all respect for you when you posted a Kanye song... that dude gives talent-LESS a whole new meaning. But, to each his own.

    Now, to my point: I can pretty much gauge that you are looking for a rebound right now because you are soooo eager to replace the whole your ex left you with. That is just setting yourself up for failure my friend. Don't throw caution to the wind, not yet anyway.
  • Apr 10, 2009, 01:04 PM
    PirandelloLuigi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    Pirand: I almost lost all respect for you when you posted a Kanye song...that dude gives talent-LESS a whole new meaning. But, to each his own.

    Now, to my point: I can pretty much gauge that you are looking for a rebound right now because you are soooo eager to replace the whole your ex left you with. That is just setting yourself up for failure my friend. Don't throw caution to the wind, not yet anyway.

    KC I don't know this artist, I just liked the lyrics of the song. Kind of reminds me of my ex how heartless she was. Ok what can I do to make sure it won't be a rebound? Because I like this girl. And I want us to be together. Any tips?
  • Apr 10, 2009, 02:45 PM
    talaniman

    You don't sound like your ready to date, and have fun yet. You already like her too much to be objective with this stranger. She may look good, or sound good, but she is a stranger.
  • Apr 11, 2009, 11:22 AM
    PirandelloLuigi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    You don't sound like your ready to date, and have fun yet. You already like her to much to be objective with this stranger. She may look good, or sound good, but she is a stranger.

    Did I mention she smells good too, lol. :p
  • Apr 11, 2009, 11:27 AM
    liz28

    I totally agree with Tal, your not ready.
  • Apr 11, 2009, 12:14 PM
    PirandelloLuigi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by liz28 View Post
    I totally agree with Tal, your not ready.

    Well, I feel ready, I know it seems too soon for you guys, but like I said earlier, for me it was over 6 months ago and was just curious to see where it was going. This is why it was easier for me to move on. I am not doing a rebound. I really like this girl and we going to take things slowly. :D Happy Easter to all of you.
  • Apr 14, 2009, 07:33 AM
    PirandelloLuigi

    Update. Hi guys, today is April 14, exactly 2 months ago my ex broke up. I am happy to say I moved on and met a really nice woman which I enjoy spending time with. We are going to the movies tonight. I still get flashbacks of my ex, but I can honestly say the feelings are gone. She was a shallow materialistic gold digger. I deserve better and now I feel I have found the type of girl that is compatible with me. She is very affectionate and loves to cuddle. To you who just got dumped, move on as quickly as you can, your true love is around the corner waiting.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 11:32 AM
    PirandelloLuigi

    I don't care about the rebound theory, if you wait too long you might lose the opportunity with the right person you have right in front of you.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 04:18 PM
    talaniman

    Or you rush from the frying pan into the fire.

    Your true love appears, when life says your ready.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 04:22 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi View Post
    i dont care about the rebound theory, if you wait too long you might lose the opportunity with the right person you have right in front of you.

    Luigi
    We all hope the best for you but are just pointing out what we've seen time and time again.

    Would hate to have you back here in 3 months time asking "Did I get into a Rebound too soon"
  • Apr 15, 2009, 07:37 PM
    LoveStoned
    At first when I began breaking the no contact thing with my ex. I thought to myself... these people have good points but they don't know my situation. Well it turns out they were very on point on what they were saying and were very observant on what was going on. Everyone has gone through these experiences and are here to guide you with your way to healing.
    Yes, we all wish you the best... Just take it slow with the girl. Get to know her for a while, build trust from friends first then let everything fall into place.

    Put it this way... When I really sit down and think about things, it took me at least 6 months to really get to know my ex's true colors. The first few months were in the honeymoon stage.

    Right now your judging a book by a few pages. Just take it slow. See the world!! :D Read a little further.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 07:43 PM
    LoveStoned
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by talaniman View Post
    Or you rush from the frying pan into the fire.

    LOL... haha
    I just found that to be funny. Not his situation but the way you said it.:D

    I really believe he still has feelings for his ex. Why would he want to get under her skin with revenge. Why the flashbacks? Why a relationship so soon.

    I can't even hear the word relationship or commitment without freakin out. Trust has to be built first after suffering from a broken heart.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 08:21 PM
    PirandelloLuigi

    I just got back from the movies with my new girl and we had a nice talk in the car after the movie. She said she is a bit worried because she can't find anything bad about me. So I told her in time you will find something. It's OK we just met and we taking our time.
  • Apr 15, 2009, 08:31 PM
    liz28

    Kudos for you! Yay!
  • Apr 17, 2009, 06:13 AM
    PirandelloLuigi

    Hi, I think I can finally answer the question to my own thread. Can I get back with my ex-girlfriend after 2 months of no contact? No.
    I am not saying it's impossible, but after a lot of thought I have come to realize that if she really loved me, she would have made the first steps, but since her pride and ego are higher than her mixed emotions, she will never make the steps to reconciliate with me. Confusion=low interest. I would rather be with a woman that has high interest in me and cares.

    So the No contact did not help me get her back, it pushed each other away, but it helped me heal faster and in return I met a great girl and it helped me move on. Now how do I get her out of my system for good. I been having bad dreams of her for the past 2 weeks.
  • Apr 17, 2009, 06:19 AM
    kctiger
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi View Post
    Hi, I think i can finally answer the question to my own thread. Can i get back with my ex-girlfriend after 2 months of no contact? No.
    I am not saying it's impossible, but after a lot of thought i have come to realize that if she really loved me, she would have made the first steps, but since her pride and ego are higher than her mixed emotions, she will never make the steps to reconciliate with me. confusion=low interest. I would rather be with a woman that has high interest in me and cares.

    So the No contact did not help me get her back, it pushed each other away, but it helped me heal faster and in return i met a great girl and it helped me move on. Now how do i get her out of my system for good. I been having bad dreams of her for the past 2 weeks.

    You have just contradicted your whole "rebound" statement, which is what I have said all along. You should have been able to move on FULLY without the help of someone else being besides you, and being attracted to you, and wanting to date you. Is it a nice feeling? Yes. Do you need it? No. The fact that you are having such vivid dreams of your ex also points out to me that you are NOT over her yet, and you seem to be leaning on a crutch in the form of an attractive young lady to help you get over her. What next?
  • Apr 17, 2009, 06:23 AM
    PirandelloLuigi
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by kctiger View Post
    You have just contradicted your whole "rebound" statement, which is what I have said all along. You should have been able to move on FULLY without the help of someone else being besides you, and being attracted to you, and wanting to date you. Is it a nice feeling? Yes. Do you need it? No. The fact that you are having such vivid dreams of your ex also points out to me that you are NOT over her yet, and you seem to be leaning on a crutch in the form of an attractive young lady to help you get over her. What next?

    I don't know, what next...
  • Apr 17, 2009, 06:59 AM
    talaniman

    I agree with KC, you have found someone to stop the loneliness, and feel better about being rejected, but have not healed or worked on yourself. What's next, that's up to you buddy. Its all about how you handle your situation. We await your update, as time will tell if what you have done will have blessings or consequences.
  • Apr 17, 2009, 04:37 PM
    friend4u178
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by PirandelloLuigi View Post

    So the No contact did not help me get her back, but it helped me heal faster.

    This is what NC is all about and we say it day in day out.

    Hope you've finally got it!

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