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-   -   I am doing NC. What about her? (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/showthread.php?t=161688)

  • Feb 24, 2008, 06:46 PM
    cozyk
    And BTW, no wonder so many girls are after you! You're funny... AND you actually PAY for things? I wouldn't know what to do with myself in that situation. I'm always stuck paying for EVERYTHING when BF and I go out. He never has any money... [/QUOTE]

    Another subject but , boyfriend doesn't have money because he doesn't have too. You have taught him how to treat you. He is taking advantage of you. Don't allow him to.
  • Feb 24, 2008, 08:12 PM
    dunno
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by cozyk

    Another subject but , boyfriend doesn't have money because he doesn't have too. You have taught him how to treat you. He is taking advantage of you. Don't allow him to.


    Actually no. He pays child support. He got screwed in court and pays more than he should have to. He works construction so work is slow right now. He is picking up some side jobs to help out but it's not enough.
  • Feb 24, 2008, 08:18 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by dunno
    Actually no. He pays child support. He got screwed in court and pays more than he should have to. He works construction so work is slow right now. He is picking up some side jobs to help out but it's not enough.

    For a second, I thought you were talking about me. I read the post and thought, "No I don't...crazy lady"
  • Feb 24, 2008, 08:30 PM
    dunno
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    for a second, I thought you were talking about me. I read the post and thought, "No I don't...crazy lady"


    ROFLMAO
  • Feb 24, 2008, 08:36 PM
    friend4u178
    Happy Birthday sneeze :-)
  • Feb 24, 2008, 08:40 PM
    FallenFromGrace
    Happy Birthday, Sneeze.. may you get lucky.
  • Feb 24, 2008, 10:49 PM
    confused25
    Happy Birthday my friend, you deserve it.
  • Feb 25, 2008, 10:57 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    thank you ALL for the warm birthday wishes. Sadly, I have 2 midterms this week and a major paper due... so no celebrating until... next week (maybe).

    so. I called NEW GIRL today around 9pm. First of all... I called, phone rang half of a full ring, and then disconnected. I thought... weird. If she rejected, then it would have gone to v-mail. So instead, I called again. Same thing.

    At this point, I'm thinking... why. Damn. So I texted her "My phone apparently hates you and won't connect fully so I'm not sure if you got my call. Anyways, how are you?"

    She calls me later and this is how our conversation went:

    Me: Hey! How are you?
    NG: I'm good, you?
    Me: busy, but I'm doing well. How was your week?
    NG: pretty good.. then goes on to tell me about her week.
    Me: You have a busy week ahead of you?
    NG: Yeah, pretty busy... at least until next week.
    Me: Oh, I was calling to see if you had any time to grab some dinner this week.

    ... this is where the $hit hits the fan.

    NG: Sneezy, we have to set some ground rules. First of all, if we do dinner, we can't do it Friday as I already have plans. Secondly, we have to go out as friends, and you have to let me pay for myself.

    At this point, I'm stuck on "we have to go out as friends..."

    I was expecting "yeah, i'd love to..." or "actually, sorry, I'm pretty busy"

    did... not... expect... that.

    So I was running it through my head, and then I hear, "Sneezy? You there?"

    Me: Oh yeah, sorry, I'm not used to a response like that.
    NG: yeah... so... ok?
    Me: yeah... um... yeah... uh... why do you insist on paying?
    NG: because friends don't pay for each other all the time
    Me: well, I just felt it was prerogative to pay for you since I asked you out
    NG: yeah, but seeing as we're just friends

    ... at this point, I hear the screams in my head yelling GET OUT NOW! BAIL OUT! BAIL OUT!

    Me: oh... I see...
    NG: yeah...
    Me: yeah... um..
    NG: OK, bye sneezy
    Me: yeah, bye.

    ... a metaphorical truck metaphorically hit my metaphorical face.

    it's not TOO much of a downer, I mean... it's just a rejection, not that big of a deal... it's just that I REALLY liked this girl and was looking forward to getting to know her more. Also, she is about one of the few nicest/happiest people I know, so it was really good to know her as a friend... and I feel like I made that a bit awkward.

    Granted, guys risk the friendship whenever he asks a girl out, but... yeah.

    so. It's a rough week. Was looking forward to seeing her... it would have made my week a WHOLE lot better. But no worries my friends. No worries. There are more fish in the sea.

    ... just that... this fish was really pretty. =(
  • Feb 25, 2008, 11:02 PM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    thank you ALL for the warm birthday wishes. Sadly, I have 2 midterms this week and a major paper due...so no celebrating until...next week (maybe).

    so. I called NEW GIRL today around 9pm. First of all...I called, phone rang half of a full ring, and then disconnected. I thought...weird. If she rejected, then it woulda gone to v-mail. So instead, I called again. Same thing.

    At this point, I'm thinking...why. damn. So I texted her "My phone apparently hates you and won't connect fully so I'm not sure if you got my call. Anyways, how are you?"

    She calls me later and this is how our convo went:

    Me: Hey! How are you?
    NG: I'm good, you?
    Me: busy, but I'm doing well. How was your week?
    NG: pretty good..then goes on to tell me about her week.
    Me: You have a busy week ahead of you?
    NG: Yeah, pretty busy...at least until next week.
    Me: Oh, I was calling to see if you had any time to grab some dinner this week.

    ...this is where the $hit hits the fan.

    NG: Sneezy, we have to set some ground rules. First of all, if we do dinner, we can't do it Friday as I already have plans. Secondly, we have to go out as friends, and you have to let me pay for myself.

    At this point, I'm stuck on "we have to go out as friends..."

    I was expecting "yeah, i'd love to..." or "actually, sorry, I'm pretty busy"

    did...not...expect...that.

    So I was running it through my head, and then I hear, "Sneezy? You there?"

    Me: Oh yeah, sorry, I'm not used to a response like that.
    NG: yeah...so...ok?
    Me: yeah...um...yeah...uh...why do you insist on paying?
    NG: because friends don't pay for each other all the time
    Me: well, I just felt it was prerogative to pay for you since I asked you out
    NG: yeah, but seeing as we're just friends

    ...at this point, I hear the screams in my head yelling GET OUT NOW!! BAIL OUT! BAIL OUT!

    Me: oh...I see...
    NG: yeah...
    Me: yeah...um..
    NG: ok, bye sneezy
    Me: yeah, bye.

    ...a metaphorical truck metaphorically hit my metaphorical face.

    it's not TOO much of a downer, i mean...it's just a rejection, not that big of a deal...it's just that I REALLY liked this girl and was looking forward to getting to know her more. Also, she is about one of the few nicest/happiest people I know, so it was really good to know her as a friend...and I feel like I made that a bit awkward.

    Granted, guys risk the friendship whenever he asks a girl out, but...yeah.

    so. it's a rough week. was looking forward to seeing her...it woulda made my week a WHOLE lot better. but no worries my friends. no worries. there are more fish in the sea.

    ...just that...this fish was really pretty. =(


    Pretty fish is taking control, she knows exactly what she is doing.. showing you her independency along with showing you she is in no rush and wants to start with a friendship..
  • Feb 25, 2008, 11:05 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    I'm not so sure if she's saying that she wants to start as friends... or if she's just flat out saying, "No. sorry"

    I'm taking it as... "no. sorry"
  • Feb 25, 2008, 11:06 PM
    talaniman
    Don't know about you, but me, I'm going out with her, and she's paying, Man that's heaven. Friends is cool for a second date. Give her my PM, oh wait I can't, the wife would kill me. Back in the day she would have a date, and I'd make sure she enjoyed it. Sorry Sneeze, she sounds like a dream come true.
  • Feb 25, 2008, 11:14 PM
    jiltedgirl
    Ahahahaha! Oh man. Did hit the fan and then, proceeded to pelt you in the face. Jkjkjkjk of course. Awkwardness is always thorougly entertaining. The ongoing inner monologue was a plus.

    But hey, at least you took a chance, right? And she was straight with you. I'm glad you're not disheartened or anything. Like you said, there are plenty of fish in the sea and I bet a hell of a lot prettier.

    [Pppsssttt. What are the frkkin odds? Lol. That was totally unexpected. Then again, our people tend to be emotional beings... -__- ugh. But it sucks for sho.]

    Oh and apparently, it was your birthday. Happy belated Birthday, "Sneezy."
  • Feb 25, 2008, 11:20 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Um. So... after much thought into this (4 hours)... I figured that the phone conversation ended... REALLY awkwardly. I mean, REALLY awkwardly. I made it SO weird.

    I will contact her again and apologize for being awkward, and explain that I didn't expect "ground rules" and then go on to tell her that I enjoy hanging out with her and talking to her, so I would like to do dinner... and she can pay.

    Really, I'm a pretty prideful guy, so for me to do this AFTER a rejection... it's a bit difficult. But I actually like her as a human being. So here goes.

    I'll keep you guys posted.
  • Feb 25, 2008, 11:31 PM
    jiltedgirl
    Sneeze, no worries, man. You both contributed to the awkwardness.

    I think that you should say yes to din with her, but back off. This happened with me with a guy friend. Even after I set "ground rules," he became so persistent on making the friendship something more (he just couldn't hide it) that I had to end things. Just make sure you can keep any more-than-friends feelings under the radar and just be genuine friends. The last thing you want to do is make her uncomfortable.

    Who knows? Maybe (and the keyword being maybe) she will change her mind down the road. You never know with girls. We warm up to guys who we hadn't seen as anything more than friends.

    Gl.
  • Feb 25, 2008, 11:45 PM
    confused25
    Hey dude at least she is telling you up front right now. Trust me, it would have sucked if she pulled that friend line after you had taken her out on a few expensive dates. I can see how she would have reacted once you asked her about a relationship:

    "Girl: Oh no! I'm sorry I thought we were just going out as friends! I'm so sorry I hope you don't feel as if I strung you along."

    Yeah that would have really sucked (happened to me lol). Anyway, I think you should play her game a bit and go out with her as a friend. Just make sure she has an awesome time! Don't make any moves, just make her laugh and feel good. After that disappear for a bit. If she enjoyed herself she'll eventually give you call. Remember: Girls like mystery and a guy that has to be chased every now and then.

    Jilted is right, she may come around, especially if you play your cards right. But for now take what she said at face value and simply enjoy the friendly night out.
  • Feb 26, 2008, 05:06 AM
    talaniman
    I don't think she rejected you, she just let you know don't try to get in her pants to soon, so relax and have fun, and pay attention, but don't go falling in love, and expect her to feel the same way. That's many months away, like 6-8 months to see if you click. Don't forget your single and free, and there are a lot of fish in the sea.
  • Feb 26, 2008, 10:29 AM
    ISneezeFunny
    Meh. She replied, saying that her nights are busy, so we should do lunch instead.

    I told her my free times, and she said she couldn't do either. She asked if we can do next week.

    I said, "sure, let me know. if not, have a nice trip" (she's going on a trip in a week)

    Meh. No biggie. My only concern was to get myself out of that train wreck that was last night, and I feel like we're fine now. If we do lunch next week, great. If not, I'll try to see her when she gets back.

    Two weeks to go before I go on MY trip!
  • Feb 26, 2008, 10:49 AM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    meh. she replied, saying that her nights are busy, so we should do lunch instead.

    i told her my free times, and she said she couldn't do either. she asked if we can do next week.

    I said, "sure, let me know. if not, have a nice trip" (she's going on a trip in a week)

    meh. no biggie. my only concern was to get myself out of that train wreck that was last night, and I feel like we're fine now. If we do lunch next week, great. if not, I'll try to see her when she gets back.

    two weeks to go before I go on MY trip!

    DUDE you worry too much, just relax... For your own sanity.. just let it happen..
  • Feb 26, 2008, 12:07 PM
    ISneezeFunny
    Hm. I didn't think I was stressing too much about it...
  • Feb 26, 2008, 12:10 PM
    jolienoire
    Quote:

    Originally Posted by ISneezeFunny
    hm. i didn't think I was stressing too much about it...

    Oh okay... :D no need too because you're a great guy.

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