Ask Me Help Desk - Is she a wife material?

Is she a wife material?

She Sleeps in the day and only wakes up in the afternoon,
Complaints about health,work and life,
Can't get a job because she is says she is overqualified,
Always knows everything and correct everyone,
Argue on every single point,
Always thinks she is so beautiful,
Made used of inside out time and again and still have an ego as big as Mars ,
Always wants to be right even when wrong,
Always blames others but never her self,
Always only wants but when she gives she will take it back,
Needs to be praised on every thing,
Hangs out till wee hours of the morning with her friends and it's only one sided,
Loves talking to other guys , but I can't let go as I love her ?

You have to ask, don't be niaive, this lady has serious issues. I know a lady with some of these traints, hasn't worked a day in her life now she has a child and doesn't look after it properly. Cut your losses and move on

An aside, this sounds like a song. I short answer is no.

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Originally Posted by Darkdemon

She Sleeps in the day and only wakes up in the afternoon,

Which could be a reason that she:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Complaints about health,work and life,

Does she just complain or does she actively do anything about it? IE exercise, change diet. Change friends. Change clothes.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Can't get a job because she is says she is overqualified,

Um... Which means that she things she should have a job that she's not qualifed for and won't lower herself to work jobs she is qualifed for.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Always knows everything and correct everyone,

And we all love a know it all, but is she always right?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Argue on every single point,

Which means she probably isn't always right and won't give up her vision of what is right even when she realizes that she's wrong.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Always thinks she is so beautiful,

Is she? Most people are beautiful, but if that is the corner stone of her personality then she has some serious self-esteem/self image issues.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Made used of inside out time and again and still have an ego as big as Mars ,

I don't understand. The ego the side of mars I do. Becareful because you'll forever be in her shadow.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Always wants to be right even when wrong,

See above. Arrogance and lack of humility.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Always blames others but never her self,

Again... She's can't do any wrong, and when she does it isn't her fault.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Always only wants but when she gives she will take it back,

Yes, Selfish that's what you want in a wife. What is hers is hers and what is yours is also hers.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Needs to be praised on every thing,

See self-esteem/self image issues.

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Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Hangs out till wee hours of the morning with her friends and it's only one sided,

Hence her staying asleep until the afternoon and the poor health/work/life.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Loves talking to other guys , but I can't let go as I love her ?

The harsh reality is that love isn't enough and there is so much more. I think you found someone that is compatible with you and stuck with her because she hasn't thrown you away yet. I think you should run. Fast. I don't think she's marriage and not even dating material. You can do so much better and I believe that she's more interested in having a Yes-Man than a boyfriend/husband.

Only one question: WHY do you love her?
I'll bet you have no idea, and don't even really know what love is.
I'll bet that you have a bad case of wanting HER to love YOU, and to show it, and you won't give up until you have 'conquered' her. There are many variations on the conquering theme that go back to the cave man.

There are many situations where we can't leave until we get what we need or want. A classic example is the unloved adult child who doesn't leave home until he finally gets the love he craves. Which of course he never gets.

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Is she a wife material?

Hell NO!!

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but I can't let go as I love her ?

Enjoy the ride while it last (not too much longer) because soon your fingers will get tired of holding on and the heart and brain will agree with your feet to let go, and run like hell!

Matter of time before sanity returns.

Thank you

Thank you you gave me an very good answer really appreciate it

Quote:

Originally Posted by CravenMorhead

An aside, this sounds like a song. I short answer is no.

Which could be a reason that she:

Does she just complain or does she actively do anything about it? IE exercise, change diet. Change friends. Change clothes.

Um... Which means that she things she should have a job that she's not qualifed for and won't lower herself to work jobs she is qualifed for.

And we all love a know it all, but is she always right?

Which means she probably isn't always right and won't give up her vision of what is right even when she realizes that she's wrong.

Is she? Most people are beautiful, but if that is the corner stone of her personality then she has some serious self-esteem/self image issues.

I don't understand. The ego the side of mars I do. Becareful because you'll forever be in her shadow.

See above. Arrogance and lack of humility.

Again... She's can't do any wrong, and when she does it isn't her fault.

Yes, Selfish that's what you want in a wife. What is hers is hers and what is yours is also hers.

See self-esteem/self image issues.

Hence her staying asleep until the afternoon and the poor health/work/life.

The harsh reality is that love isn't enough and there is so much more. I think you found someone that is compatible with you and stuck with her because she hasn't thrown you away yet. I think you should run. Fast. I don't think she's marriage and not even dating material. You can do so much better and I believe that she's more interested in having a Yes-Man than a boyfriend/husband.

There is nothing I want or control all I wanted was a happy family and she do love me but her character is horrible.
I even accepted her when she told me how manny boyfriend she had and how manny times she had sex with them even a one day boyfriend got to do her well for me that's her past and I don't blame her as she is that kind of material.
All I wanted was a happy family life with her as she is loving but when her friends are around her she changes .
I can get someone else anytime that's not the issue also only problem is she trust me so does her parents it's more like responsibility .
I can be a basterd and just walk out for good after 2 years but I still have a soft heart.

Quote:

Originally Posted by joypulv

Only one question: WHY do you love her?
I'll bet you have no idea, and don't even really know what love is.
I'll bet that you have a bad case of wanting HER to love YOU, and to show it, and you won't give up until you have 'conquered' her. There are many variations on the conquering theme that go back to the cave man.

There are many situations where we can't leave until we get what we need or want. A classic example is the unloved adult child who doesn't leave home until he finally gets the love he craves. Which of course he never gets.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

and she do love me.

She do love you?

If you want a life of misery, she's your girl. You aren't going to have a happy family with someone like this.

I just broke up today and really had to strip off her skin so there is no return well did not hurt me I think because I was just bottled up with taking the blame all the time.

WOW. Talk about turning on a dime. 'Strip off her skin -' is that a phrase used in some part of the world for being really brutal, verbally?

To be direct, wife material? I would highly doubt. Unless you want a lazy wife that does nothing but consume your resources without bringing anything to the table.

Javi

I totally agree with you. Yesterday when we broke up I ask her just for laughs sake " dear what do you want me to change " guess what she said you remain as you are and let me go leave my life like before socializing talking to guys and going out "
So I said sure and I will do the same let's not stop one another you know my guy friends and only friends I also will get back to my hobby of cars. And she said no I have to do as she wants. I was just laughing inside .
That's the end of my controlled relationship for the past 2 yrs now I can eat anything do anything sleep early and much more .

Hi joypulv its my own and you it's verbilly brutal . Well a man can take so much but there is a limit .

She is not only NOT wife material... I wouldn't even consider her girlfriend material... or even friend material. Sounds like the stereotypical Welfare Queen.

She isn't wife material for you. You may think you love her but you do not like her and do not respect her.

I know it's over but something has been bugging me , we had sex after 2 months and to my surprise her left nip was sore and her private part was very loose normally last time when we don't have sex for a week she will close up and I will feel the pain when inserting but this time it's was different, the feeling was different. Sorry guys it's just bugging me and needed to ask.

Pray like hell you didn't get her pregnant, because life as you know it will be over.

Having to live with someone like you described because you knocked her up would make a guy start having dark thoughts about rope and strong tree branches.

Why do I feel sad and when I think about how my ex treated me I feel happy that I left her.

After all this she still blames me why cant God show her that what was she doing to me was wrong ?

I also felt very sad for her parents as I promised them to take care of there daughter but I walk out saving myself I never wanted to do this .
This made me change my mind when just after I got a major heart attack she was fighting with me for stupid reasons and forced me to that point to throw her away and all this happened in the 2 weeks of my attack .
Should I message her parents or leave it and move on but I don't like the feeling

Focus on moving forward and not looking back with regrets. Let time heal the wounds, and teach you the lessons you need to learn.

Leave it and move on... Her parently already know all too well what a prima donna she is... you don't start acting like that overnight.

Thank you guys, well time will heal.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Why do I feel sad and when I think about how my ex treated me I feel happy that I left her.

After all this she still blames me why cant God show her that what was she doing to me was wrong ?

With all due respect God can't show her s**t.

You're grieving the relationship. This is why you feel said that the relationship is over even though you're happy that it is. Why do you care what she is saying. I know that you're still probably moving in the same circle of friends, but you have to trust your friends will come and ask you about it if they've got questions. If not, you're better off without them.

Cut off ALL connections with her, including her parents. Promises like that aren't meant to be kept if the relationship goes south. Just remember that you did the best that you could. Take a look at what went wrong and why. Then move on. Block her on Facebook, on your phone, and any form of communication between you two. You need severance. You need to grieve in peace.

Thank you craven

How long will it take to forget her and move on and why after all this it is so hard for the heart to change?

THe longer you dwell over it the longer its going to take. Forcus on your hobby, as long as that hobby isn't worshipping at an alter you made to her.

Go to the gym... rake some leaves, clean up the porn mag collection, read some books... take up mountain climbing. The less you think about her the faster you will get over her and move on.

Personally based on what you told us about her. It really shouldn't have taken more than a few hours. I just don't see any endearing things about her at all. In fact almost everything you told us about her would put me right off her. She was an arrogant, self centered waste of female flesh that thinks the world revolves around her.

You HAVE to be able to do a LOT better than that with all the other women out there.

Seriously....if you have ANY self esteem....and self respect.....take a look at your first post and tell us exactly WHY any one would want someone with all those bad qualities anyway?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

She Sleeps in the day and only wakes up in the afternoon,
Complaints about health,work and life,
Can't get a job because she is says she is overqualified,
Always knows everything and correct everyone,
Argue on every single point,
Always thinks she is so beautiful,
Made used of inside out time and again and still have an ego as big as Mars ,
Always wants to be right even when wrong,
Always blames others but never her self,
Always only wants but when she gives she will take it back,
Needs to be praised on every thing,
Hangs out till wee hours of the morning with her friends and it's only one sided,
Loves talking to other guys

Seriously there isn't ONE good thing about her in all of that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

How long will it take to forget her and move on and why after all this it is so hard for the heart to change?

You will never forget her, but you can move on by building a life that you enjoy without her in it. How long that takes is completely up to you. Start by mourning your loss and staying off the pity pot. These are your own feelings you are dealing with here, so that the focus is what you do about your own feelings and when you get tired of crying about it, maybe you will do better.

Why is it so hard? It's not at all but but since you don't want to change your heart, or maybe just not ready, it easier to dwell, and wallow in your own misery. Not uncommon in the very early stage of grief, so cry it out of your system and when YOU accept it's time to move on, YOU WILL!

It's really not supposed to be easy. Then you wouldn't learn a damn thing!

I didn't read all the other answers, but as a wife myself, this girl sounds very immature. As for sleeping all day, is there a reason for it? Do you work 3rd shift and she stays up with you at night? If not, there's not reason for an adult to sleep until the afternoon. If she needs to get a job, then she needs to get a job. Being overqualified doesn't mean you get to sit around waiting on the right job to fall in your lap. That doesn't happen. As far as her being right all the time? Nobody is right 100% of the time. She sounds full of herself and very conceited. She should own up to her mistakes and stop blaming everyone else for things. That itself is very immature and it will not make for a happy married life for you, trust me, my husband USED to be the same way. Also, once you're married, friends of the opposite sex need to be limited to friends of the marriage, not just friends of hers.

In my honest opinion, no this girl is not wife material. She sounds like she needs to grow up quite a bit before she is ready for even a serious relationship. She also sounds very narcissistic and it would be difficult to live with her. You should marry someone who thinks of your feelings and your well-being just as much as their own. I saw you say you can't let her go because you love her but I really think you'd be setting yourself up for heartbreak if you continue to pursue this woman. Start hanging out with your own friends, do your own thing for a while, focus on just you.

Good luck to you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kresaera

I didn't read all the other answers, but as a wife myself, this girl sounds very immature. As for sleeping all day, is there a reason for it? Do you work 3rd shift and she stays up with you at night? If not, there's not reason for an adult to sleep until the afternoon. If she needs to get a job, then she needs to get a job. Being overqualified doesn't mean you get to sit around waiting on the right job to fall in your lap. That doesn't happen. As far as her being right all the time? Nobody is right 100% of the time. She sounds full of herself and very conceited. She should own up to her mistakes and stop blaming everyone else for things. That itself is very immature and it will not make for a happy married life for you, trust me, my husband USED to be the same way. Also, once you're married, friends of the opposite sex need to be limited to friends of the marriage, not just friends of hers.

In my honest opinion, no this girl is not wife material. She sounds like she needs to grow up quite a bit before she is ready for even a serious relationship. She also sounds very narcissistic and it would be difficult to live with her. You should marry someone who thinks of your feelings and your well-being just as much as their own. I saw you say you can't let her go because you love her but I really think you'd be setting yourself up for heartbreak if you continue to pursue this woman. Start hanging out with your own friends, do your own thing for a while, focus on just you.

Good luck to you.

Thank you for your reply ,
By the way I work from 8am to 6pm and used to go to bed by10.30pm as I am always on the run the whole day. But after I may her she will keep me up till 2am or 3 am and then blame me why I did not ask her to hang up , and when I did her story will just go on.
When she said she is opening a blog on health and beauty I was relieved as at least she is doing something but the blog just stuck on main page and never moved on .
Well she will never be a wife material and a girlfriend the only thing she wants is to be praised and popular, just a show material that's all .

Why am a feeling very angry and feel that I have not told her off fully when I already stripped her off her skin.
The hate is getting into wanting to see her suffering and dying .
I even dream of her getting raped and I am happy about it ?
I don't like this feeling I use to be a forgiving person and never used to keep things to heart .

They are your own feelings so meet the challenge of self control. It's normal for anger and hate to be felt by you given the situation, but acting on it is totally inappropriate. Find a better way to vent, or express those feelings my friend, but always stay within the boundaries of good behavior. They will fade in time as you gain and maintain control over yourself.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Darkdemon

Why am a feeling very angry and feel that I have not told her off fully when I already stripped her off her skin.
The hate is getting into wanting to see her suffering and dying .
I even dream of her getting raped and I am happy about it ?
I don't like this feeling I use to be a forgiving person and never used to keep things to heart .

This is part of the grieving process. Much like the process one goes through when a loved one dies. There are seven steps one must go through in order to heal properly and you have to go through each one individually.

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Originally Posted by J_9

This is part of the grieving process. Much like the process one goes through when a loved one dies. There are seven steps one must go through in order to heal properly and you have to go through each one individually.

Seven steps oh dear and please explain what are the seven , and I hope I am at the last one.

The seven steps are:
1) Shock and denial;
2) Pain and guilt;
3) Anger and bargaining;
4) Depression, reflection, loneliness;
5) The upward turn;
6) Reconstruction and working through; and
7) Acceptance.

As if you lost a loved one to a death, the end of a relationship is very similar.

After all my research and asking around my ex has a Narcissistic personality disorder , and I am glad to find that out . If I would have married this woman my life would be worst then being in hell.

After 3weeks of not being in contact ex sends a mail saying I am a lier , was having an affair and so on , cursed me like mad to all the alters we prayed to and blame me for everything and my reply was :

I know who I am , may God bless you and may you have your happy life . And I too pray to God if I was wrong please punish me too.
No one would have loved you as how much I did .
Well you are happy without me and same goes here .
Life goes on and as I promised you , you are my first love and last .
God will be the judge.

I am just glad its over in this 3 weeks I am feeling happy I see my money and got back to my hobbies . I feel I can breathe.

Block her, or send her emails to spam.

Yes I did that .

The best response you can give her is no response at all.