Originally Posted by
talaniman
I hope you realize you have boxed yourself into a corner, and wasted a lot of time on your own BS, rather than paying attention to her, and learning some real facts that blow your feelings out of the water.
First let me deal with your chemistry theory. You have none. I mean none, because if you did, your minds would flow together. You cannot have chemistry when you have goals, and objectives and differing conflicting styles that are strictly adhered to, for whatever reason. Your minds have not met, or you would have moved beyond this once a week thing and explored each other, not just with sex, but with yourselves. Its a tolerating expectation that you better catch up with, and adjust appropriately to.
I like this a lot...Your minds have not met, or you would have moved beyond this once a week thing and explored each other, not just with sex, but with yourselves. Its a tolerating expectation that you better catch up with, and adjust appropriately to.
I don't understand what you mean by this fully..its a tolerating expectation that I better catch up with, and adjust appropriately to? it sounds good but i really want to fully understand what you mean cause I am not sure...
Whats obvious as I said before, you have locked yourself into a course of action that limits your options and opportunities, while she has a whole world at her feet. She doesn't have the same reason to rush into something that you do. Why? because she takes her time and explores her whole world while you are already locked into one world, HERS!!
That goes against the whole premise of dating, and having fun getting to know each other. You are at a grave disadvantage, and are suffering from it and its shows with your impatience to move to a new level, that you obviously are not ready for.
I highly recommend that you move in with your friend and have more dates than just dinner on Friday, and maybe sex, with just this one person. Not saying have sex with a few others at the same time, but definitely see more people for fun, so you are NOT locked into this unequal partnership where she sets the pace, and the program, and you just follow. Thats the whole problem, you have no other options to explore other than her, and have lost ALL objectivity, and are so off track and distracted by your own thoughts and ideas, that you have not paid attention to the obvious, thats been pointed out by others.
You are far more into this than she is, and NO way do I knock her approach at all. I mean guy, after 4 months, and she is still a stranger to you? Unreal, as thats all you have concentrated on in 4 months??? So you are already exclusive to one person, and she is looking for otter options besides you.
what do you mean by Unreal, as thats all you have concentrated on in 4 months???
Take a page from her book, and get more options to explore, while this one unfolds, and spread the fun. I mean after 4 months you keep putting more eggs in her basket, and look for more to add to it.
Talaniman Rule - Date them all, short, fat, skinny, or tall. 18 to 80, blind cripple, or crazy!
In this way you weed the ones who can't handle your life, while not chasing someone elses life, and not be a slave to their BS! After 6 months or so, of having fun getting to know some one, you will have all the facts you need to decide to commit, or be exclusive, and not rush headlong into the unknown and confuse yourself with your own fears, and insecurities. I have left all options open to this point, i met a couple women who maybe I should have taken out, but I passed up because I am happy at the pace SHE has allowed me to take with her. In having made that decision I know that I can meet other women if this doesn't work out. I thought she was doing the same, I found out different, I'm okay with that because up to this point she has been accepting and moved forward when I have wanted so I have no reason to believe she won't want to continue moving forward. LOL If i can give it to her , Great! If not then the appropriate course of action will be taken
Thats how relationships develop, by getting to know each other well enough to get beyond the bodies, and explore the mind, souls, of another, and build understanding thru COMMUNICATIONS. Thats how you work together to build toward a common goal, and that a process that takes time, and honesty.
You don't have that, so you don't have chemistry, nor do you have a reasonable working relationship with a willing partner. You have a Friday date thats understood. So slow down, pay attention and find out who the freak you have that one day a week date with, and see whats going on, and NOT just what you want to have going on.
Its that simple as I see it, you are rushing into the unknown, with a stranger of 4 months. 16 dates by my count, and an attempt at sex. Sorry guy, thats not enough to be dedicated to, or loyal to. Do better, or explore other options. That's my advice.
