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Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread.

My ex broke up with me over three months ago after she had gone to uni for two weeks, she said that she was going to get busier and busier and have less time for me which is understandable, the thing is she is only half an hour away because she has a young son that stays with her parents and the plan was to come back every weekend to see him and when we talked about it she said her being so close would mean that its not a problem for us and I can go through and see her during week and see me when she is back at weekends. I got confused by this then after a month of breaking up she contacted me through msn( I deleted everything so that I couldn't get hold of her because I didn't want to say or do anything silly thought I would give her her space because of the reason we broke up) and after a bit of small talk said that she misses her son because she I staying there all weekend which confused me because she couldn't be away from him for one night when we we together. Then recently I found out she is in a relationship with a guy from her halls ad that tis could have been going on for some time. I'm stuck with questions like why after a year together there is going to be no time for me but there is with a new guy, and I want to move on but I think about her ever minute of every day, we had a good relationship why was I so easy to toss aside?

Sorry for your pain.
I don't think you'll ever get any answers to your questions though.

Sometimes people's feelings just change.

You do need to start moving on and get your life back again.

Keep busy and do things you enjoy.
Go out and meet new people -dont stay at home overthinking the past.

Take care.

Is there any chance I can get back with my ex after we have been broken up over three months? We were together a year and hd agood relationship never argued enjoyed each others company etc but she dumped me out of the blue hardly spoke to her since and she told me the reason why was because she wasn't going to have time for me, I'm still hurting after all this time because everythin seemed fine we were good together so I think it was worht the effort I don't know how to go about it? Is it still worth me trying after so long?

In need of help please, thanks

Her reason for breaking up with you may still seem valid to her so the only way you will know if things have changed is if you ask.
Send her an e-mail and be casual,just asking how she is doing and see if she responds,then go from there.

I would not bring up the past or anything controversial at first ,take it slow and see where it goes.

It's not worth it. Don't chase her. If she doesn't want you then forget about her. I know it's hard because I just went through the same situation. My ex and I were together for two and a half years and everything was perfect and last week he pretty much broke up with me for something that we could have easily fixed. He wanted to take a "break" and I guess he liked being single better than he liked a relationship with me. So it's over. I know how hard it is trust me, but we have to think of it as if they don't want us, well then they don't deserve us. It took me a lot of tears to actually even consider forgetting about it and moving on.

She probably broke up with you because her feelings changed and hard and painful as it is you need to start getting over her.

Get busy and do things rather than sitting at home thinking about the past.

Healing take time and patience but you'll get there.

Leave the past in the past and move forward.

If it didn't work the first time, I doubt it's going to the second time. The whole, not having time for you, speech doesn't stand with me. There had to be more things going on. That just doesn't sit right with me. Just leave it alone, cut all contact with her

Sounds like you really loved her and were hurt really bad. I wouldn't contact her at all unless you're up for a replay of what went on 3 months ago. She broke up with you and it is over.

Stop telling yourself that she’s “the only one”, that you're madly in love her, how terribly miserable you are without her, how wrong/sad/unfair it is that you can't be together, how you'll never get over her, and so on. By obsessing on those phrases and others like them, you're making yourself even more miserable. As long as you keep telling yourself you won't get over her, you will be trapped.

Give it a little more time, but if you can’t get over her on your own, you might consider talking to a counselor.


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I think it is time I let you go, and that is so hard to do because some part of me will be in love with you for the rest of my life, but the daydreaming, the running in place .. it's not healthy. So this is me, cutting the cord. This is me, doing what I should have done eight months ago ... saying goodbye. Dawsons Creek

I have tried getting over her but it feels like I'm going round in circles, I what to think that knowing I did my best for her then she doesn't deserve my effort but I miss everything abou her

Then you need to find something to break that circle.
Be it a new hobby,new friends etc.

You can't stay stuck mourning your relationship forever.

How do you spend your days-work,school?
Talk to people and find something else to think about.

It takes time to get over someone. This time is best spent hanging out with your buddies and having fun!

I think abou her all day at work its crap it affects everything I do, all I want to do is stay at home away from everything bu iknow it not healthy so I try get out and do things all the time went to prague other weekend last minute and had a great time but I can't do things like hat al the time with work etc

Prague's a lovely city and I'm glad you enjoyed it.
You need to keep doing things and being around people.
Go visit other places,even if it's not abroad.
Have you got friends to talk to? Family?

Yeah I do but its been so long that they don't really want to hear it anymore, I put everything into the relationship how am I supposed to move on when my best is never good enough

I think you should stop blaming yourself for the breakup-its never just the fault of one person when a relationship breaks down.

Nobody is perfect-we are all human and we all go through relationship failures and we all get over it-it takes time and patience.

I can't help but blame myself because I never wanted to lose her I don't know how people can move on so quickly wish I could

You start moving on when you make your mind up that enough is enough.
And then you move on by keeping busy and finding things to do.

Get out in the fresh air-go for walks-go to the gym-whatever exercise you prefer.

I already know enough is enough but you can't control what goes on in your mind

You can find other things to think about.
I don't know how old you are-guessing early twenties-and once you get over this you'll find somebody else.

We all do.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by amicon

You can find other things to think about.
I dont know how old you are-guessing early twenties-and once you get over this you'll find somebody else.

We all do.

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Can't rep you on this thread yet but I will.
Good job... nice connection :)

I just wish there was a way for me to get over it because I know in my head I need to move on but in my heart I want it to be the way it was

The way to get over it is listening to your head-not your heart.
Your head knows it's time to let go.

You are correct but u cannot just drop yor feelings at the drop of a hat can you? Especially when it meant so muchto me

No but you need to give yourself the chance to move on-so now would be a good time to drop the hat.

I'm signing off now-if you are in the Brid I think you might be-go out and enjoy Saturday night- come back tomorrow. :-)

I am out tonight and will enjoy myself just wish I could do it more often you know. Thanks for your help by the way speak soon :)

How come I get affected by every little thing that happens to do with my ex? I feel like this pain is never going to go, why can't it just be how it was when I was happy

You must allow yourself to let go of the pain-find something to occupy your mind.
You will only stay stuck in the past for as long as you allow yourself to.

I don't understand how I'm allowing myself to be stuck in the past I want to move on but things keep hurting me and I can't do anything about it

But you can,whenever something hurtful comes up you go and do something that will change you mindset.

But when I'm at work how can I go do something different to change my mindset? She meant everything to me

What's your job like? Doesn't concentrating on work take your mind off things?

I'm good at my job and haven't been doing it for very long but I do get a lot of time to think about stuff

Have you thought about seeing a councilor-actually talking to someone face to face might be a good idea.

I would't know where to start in finding one and can't talk face to face because I always endup breaking down

A therapist is trained to handle that kind of situation.
Try Relate they have offices in many towns on the coast.

But don't they cost a lot of money? Plus I shouldn't be like this over one person they won't want to waste there time

You wouldn't be wasting anybody's time-and don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you do.

Its OK to seek help you know.

I don't know how much they charge-sometimes these things are regulated according to your income.

I think they have an office where you live.

I know there is one in Scarborough.

Its been so long now though since it happened I feel trapped and like I should have forgot about her a long time ago if I ever was going to do it

A little over 3 months isn't all that long. People are different and heal in different ways.

It's a process which takes time and patience.
Keeping busy and setting goals help.

You'll get over it,it takes time,but you,too,will get through this.

U say it isn't that long but it didn't take her long to be with someone else and after all that I did for her