I dated my ex for almost 2 years. She was the one who initiated the break up after a huge fight. It was a nasty break up. She physically and verbally abused me such as slapping, choking, and said really nasty things in front of her housemate when I was trying to apologize over some text I sent her when I was so angry with her comments. I lost all my pride, she didn't even respect me at all. Somehow, I still pleaded her to stay because I loved her so much. Unexpectedly, she cut all ties with me and whenever she sees me, she will put on a not really pleasant face like I have just burnt down her house! I tried to live with it and be nice. It didn't help. She was full of resentment and completely ignored me. Obviously, she didn't feel bad on what she did to me and she said she no longer loves me. I dropped her an email two weeks ago after a month no contact wishing her all best and apologize for what happened in the past. I was thinking maybe we could be friends again. Unfortunately, she behaved even worse, telling her friends my email contents (I found out from another friend of mine) and finally I realized that she doesn't worth my time and she completely doesn't even respect me. Now I'm going full swing no contact and I deleted her contact on my mobile few days ago.
But there's one thing that makes me wonder so much, why does she need to carry such resentment? Why does she need to put on such expression on her face whenever she sees me?

You know,if someone treated me like that I would avoid them like the plague! And would not give them a second thought,thank your lucky stars you got out in one piece..

As for why she is so nasty when she sees you... its her problem,let her get a stomack ulser (sp) from all that venom.. look the other way and walk really fast in the other direction.

Saying thank you thank you thank you I'm not with that hound any more!

She does all this because she's obviously a huge b-i-t-c-h. You're lucky to be rid of her now that you've seen her true colours. Congratulations!

It's a thin line between love, and hate, and she crossed it. She doesn't sound like a great person any way.

When we were dating, she was a very nice girl. But it was out of my expectation that she could be this cruel to me. I thought we had good times too. No doubt I had done stupid mistakes after the break up like emailing, IMing but not excessively. I stopped as soon as she blocked me out, removed my contacts when I asked her not too. I was in terrible pain weeks back wondering how could she did this to me. She lost her love for me in a second! Like an idiot, I was trying to win her back, pleaded her to stay and of course my mission failed. I felt so betrayed, stupid when I got to know she was sharing whatever I sent her with her friends and it makes me look like I'm a plague or something. Doesn't she have some sense of privacy?

Obviously NOT!!

Try not to look back on this with fault or regret... See her for what she is now. Recall what you are feeling, for when she tries to contact you. Stay strong and in time you will find your ideal. This girl is not one.
Im sure anyone that she has shared info with, knows that this is wrong. And they probably think she can't be trusted with their information either.

Good thing you got out while you can. You obviously deserve much better than that!!

Sometimes it's best not to over analyze a situation or person.

You could go on asking why? Why? Why? And tie yourself up in knots.

There is NO way of knowing WHY - but her actions tell you that she's actually a horrible, nasty, vindictive person.

As hard as it is, try and put her out of your head - and thank the heavens and stars that such a revolting person is no longer in your life.

Don't waste your energy wondering why she does anything , its really not worth the grief. Stand tall and just ignore her and you'll gain your dignity back when people see your not worried by it.

Just be thankful you got rid of her before you spent more of your life with psycho woman.

Bad news! One of my friends just told me she forwarded the email I sent her around! This really makes me look really stupid! And I'm pretty sure her friends will be sharing with others too! How could she? What will she get by doing so? The more I apologize, the more she thinks hell great of herself. She slapped me in the past when her parents came over to her place and they saw everything after a heated argument and things I said. I've never laid my hands on a woman. I hope one day she will realize what she did to me. But somehow my gut feeling is telling me that she will never feel sorry for what she puts me through.

If she wants to do you harm, then so be it. I believe in Karma, so what goes around comes around. You shouldn't be shameful of anything, you need to move on and don't look back.

Because she despises you for whatever reason. Leave it go and move on before you make it worse on yourself.

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Originally Posted by tragedy

Bad news! One of my friends just told me she forwarded the email I sent her around! This really makes me look really stupid! And I'm pretty sure her friends will be sharing with others too! How could she? What will she get by doing so? The more I apologize, the more she thinks hell great of herself. She slapped me in the past when her parents came over to her place and they saw everything after a heated argument and things I said. I've never laid my hands on a woman. I hope one day she will realize what she did to me. But somehow my gut feeling is telling me that she will never feel sorry for what she puts me through.

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Oh for heavens sake! Why would you give any energy to this psycho woman any more? Stop apologizing, stop contact and stop worrying.

Who cares what her friends think?

You know what she's like - isn't that enough? She's poison.

A Shrink for Men

Read this and consider yourself lucky. You got away.

Hey my ex also threw things at me and cursed me out and yelled at me in public and when I would say lower your voice she would get more mad. I would say can you close your window of the car so that nobody hears but she kept yelling with the window down. She also would go out behind my back when she said she was sleeping. She scratched my face and made me bleed and yelled at me just because I wanted to be with my family and not her for an hour. Still if you read my thread everyone here made me the bad guy. I actually had to try and convince everyone that she was crazy... Now that I am getting stronger I can see things better. I just don't get the advice I was getting for the first 19 pages... pisses me off. Finally TMan got the message of how far she took things and in that post on page 20 I think, his post started my progress and I think he is the greatest for that!

I think there is probably a very good chance that you have not been the only one to have been at the mercy of her wrath. Most likely she treated everyone with little respect, unless she wanted something, then could be as sweet as pie. People that abusive toward the one they are supposed to love the most, no no bounds in self-control, and people are merely tools to get what they want.

Her friends are likely too scared to say anything, and agree with everything she says, although I'd bet money on them knowing better.

This may be the best possible thing that could have happened, not that I wish to see anybody physically abused, but it didn't sound like you were about to split with her, and you would have kept on taking it.

That she set you free has turned out to be an opportunity for you, not a loss. Use this time to think about what it is about you that could accept the behaviour you did, and why you chose to put your needs on the back burner to please her.

Take all the good of who you are, and the lesson's you will learn from this, into the next relationship. You only invested 2 years instead of 20 with babies in tow. That is a blessing. Let her go on to abuse the next fellow, and move on. As the others have said, you deserve much, much better.

You're lucky to be shot of her-she's a classic case of good riddence to bad rubbish.

You were right Jake2008. If she didn't initiate this break up, I guess I would just keep taking and taking all those craps from her. I know it sounds stupid but I guess I was too blinded by love at that time. Now all I want is to focus on myself. She took away my dignity and respect. The funny thing is one of her friends took me out of the friends list when I don't even speak to them. It's crazy! I'm not surprise if she bad mouth me to the fullest and shared with them all the messages I sent her. To my opinion, I think it's childish to share personal messages with friends. None of it was offensive but it makes me feel like an idiot because I looked like I was clingy, desperate in the messages. The more I think about it, the more I want to get her out of my head. The more I think about it, the more I wish I didn't meet her. As a result, I wouldn't need to go through such heart aches.

Emopunk7, I had that yelling too from her in the public and she will increase her volume when I ask her to tone down. What's the most intriguing part? She will say that I cause her to do so.

Thanks guys for your advice. I'm working towards NC and I've never felt better!

I think some of it with her might be maturity too. I can honestly say that during my dating years, no matter how nasty the breakups were, or the causes, I never, ever, badmouthed or shared information on the ex, just to make him look bad. It is a very hurtful, unnecessary thing to do to somebody.

SO good to hear you are feeling better, and working on the no contact. Be prepared for more drama (likely), but hold your head up, and your dignity intact and you'll be just fine.

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Originally Posted by tragedy

Bad news! One of my friends just told me she forwarded the email I sent her around! This really makes me look really stupid! And I'm pretty sure her friends will be sharing with others too! How could she? What will she get by doing so? The more I apologize, the more she thinks hell great of herself. She slapped me in the past when her parents came over to her place and they saw everything after a heated argument and things I said. I've never laid my hands on a woman. I hope one day she will realize what she did to me. But somehow my gut feeling is telling me that she will never feel sorry for what she puts me through.

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And the lesson you learned from this is... da tada! NO CONTACT!

Keep no contact,and these things won't happen... you can't trust this girl so don't give her any more ammunication against you.

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Originally Posted by talaniman https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/amhd_i...s/viewpost.gif For Emopunk.
Sure you can make a case for her faults, but there is also enough blame for you too, so the quicker you acknowledge your own faults, the quicker we can sympathize with your loss.

Bottom line, we don't care what she did, its what you did about it thats the real issue to all of us here. Its done, and we all want you to heal, and be better for the experience. It may take a while, but you will be okay for it.

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Thought I would share what I told Em, as it fits you as well. What you do about what life throws at you is what counts. That's what will define you in the end.

I'm working very hard on NC and all I want is to have her completely out of my mind. Wish me luck.

Well done, stick to NC and the very best of luck!
Keep us posted.

Not sure what she was trying to do. She gave a box of chocolates to my housemate and she knows for sure my housemate will share the chocolates with us. I believe that was a gift from someone, which I think it was from a man and she just passed it on to us. She could easily give it to someone else like her housemates or other college friends. Maybe she has distributed the rest but she does not need to keep one and give it to my housemate. Why she is doing this? She knows my housemate will definitely bring it back to the house. Is she trying to play some game? I told my housemate that I'm not going to eat it. Seriously, I have the urge to throw the chocolates away. It's been messing up with my head and I can't stop to think how bad she treated me and those words she used to put me down in public. Guys, what should I do? I'm still sticking to NC and really want her out of my head.

I'd say she's just taking a stab at you again.

I would eat the whole box of chocolates and not say a word.

Why does she need to do that since she was the one who cuts me off and makes me look bad in front of her friends by sharing the messages I sent her? Does it make her happier? I'm done with all the Facebook, Myspace, Twitter, Text and IM stalking and whatever Friend4u178 mentioned in the sticky. I just want to heal and get her out of my head. But I can't seem to stop think of how bad she treated me. It's like I'm beginning to hate her. Is this part of the healing process?

Agreed. It sounds as though she is trying to rub your nose in it for whatever reason. She knows the break-up has been especially hard on you and appears to be playing the classic post break-up game of "look-at-me-I'm-alright-being-a-hard###- that-doesn't-care" etc etc.

Hard as it sounds, never hate. It'll do you more harm than good.

Hate to say this but you will meet a lot of people in life who know what buttons to push, and when, and they do it because they can.

Your best defense, is ignore them, and don't react, because that's exactly what they want, YOUR REACTION, especially an emotional one, that makes you look bad.

They hate being ignored, and must always have the upper hand. She wants to live rent free in your head and the last thing she wants is for you to be happy and at peace with yourself.

She is who she is, you can't change that, but you can change yourself, and your attitude. You don't have to hate, she wins then.

But if you act like your truly glad she is gone, and be happy about that, she will go NUTS!!

Take that to the bank!

Some practical advice that might help you now.

Get yourself a notebook of some kind. Every day, take a good half hour to yourself in a quiet place with no distractions, and write out all the thoughts you've had about her that day. Think, thoughts, feelings, reactions. Write it all out without thought to grammar, spelling, neatness etc. just write it out, and remember to date each day.

When you have it all out on paper, and hopefully you will write a lot, close the book, and leave it all tucked nicely away in a safe place.

Each day, same thing. When you go through the day and you remember something about her, or think something about her, or wonder about her, tell yourself that you will save that for the book. Tuck it aside, and then when you sit to write, include everything again, thoughts, feelings, reactions.

There is something quite interesting that happens when you do this. Emotion can indeed be expressed and dispelled. Once you get the anger out on paper, you are no longer angry. Once you get the hurtful comment or deed out on paper, it is no longer hurtful. With all the questions you have as to why she does the things she does written down, you are actually dealing with them, processing them, and this practice will have a start, and a finish. (When you put the book away for the night)

I have a lot of such books. Over losses, conflicts, battles with myself, and keeping my head above emotional water. I actually splurged on a very good pen just for this purpose.

Try it and see if it works for you.

Tal and Glenboy123, you guys were right. She will win if I begin to hate her. Jake2008, I will try that out to see if it works :)

I don't know why... out of a sudden I think of her. But I've been telling myself that I need to be strong, let go and I will be fine. I hope that I can make it through.

Thinking about her is normal-try to do something to distract your mind. You will be strong and you will soon be able to leave this where it belongs-in the past.

You will make it through, don't worry.

Just do the right things. NC & self awareness.

Don't hang on to someone that has, is & will continue to disrespect you.

You can't care for someone like that.

I've found out that my ex has pretty much moved on and she's already on vacation with another guy. I think she met this guy shortly after we broke up or maybe when we were dating. Who knows? I don't know how to describe my feelings now...

Yes who knows? I wouldn't worry about it though,you have your life now and she has hers. Stay focused on you.

I don't know why it still affects me. I still think of her off and on and am trying very hard to focus on something else.

This will happen for a while. Accepth that and know it's okay and you will get over it soon enough. Just keep NC. That's the only way to move on and the fastest. Hang in there!

I hate to say this... but my friend just sent me a pic that I'm not supposed to see! It's her pic and the guy!! I think it's from her Facebook and it kind of crushes me into pieces again. It's a pic of her and the guy :(. My friend said he's doing this so that I will heal faster. Honestly, my heart still aches and I keep telling myself that I shouldn't panic so that I won't repeat the same old mistakes again. Does it mean that this reset my NC?

You could tell your friend,that his way of healing is not working for you...

This does not reset your nc,as you made no contact,and its natural to feel hurt...

Stay no contact,and ask your friend not to send you any more pictures..

That picture really brings me down to the memory lane, sweet and bitter. I still can recall the moment she told me that she doesn't want me anymore regardless how many times I said sorry for being mean when she refused to tell me who she went out with. And it still fresh on my mind the way she hits me. It just hurts.