What should I do?
Me and my ex have been together for a while now. We have been together for about 1 year but before that both of us have been secretly liking each other. I have known her for about 5 years now. Recently well not recently this situation happened a while back but a guy from her high school years came back into her life and confessed his love to her all of a sudden. She haven't talked to him much in high school although they were still friends but recently he has been around her a lot lately. I met her through and online game and we spent countless hours talking to each other every single day. We live very far away and we have been in a long distance relationship ever since the beginning. I would say about 5 hours away. The first time I met her in person was when she came to my city on a vacation with her family so I took the effort to go see her. This was before when we agreed to be together. We have seen each other a few times more after that although we can't see each other that frequently I would say maybe around 4 times more but each time was the whole weekend. I was her first boyfriend and she was mine but I told her she wasn't my first girlfriend the whole time and recently I told her I was and that was when she broke up with me. But at that time that guy had already confessed to her and she was telling me how she was unsure about who she wants to be with. Anyway when she told me that she was confused of who she wants to be with, that was when I told her she was my first girlfriend and told her the truth and that made her thought everything we've been through was a lie even though I told her I have not lied about anything else which is the truth. But I don't think that was the reason she broke up with me because as been in a long distance relationship I did all the typical things such as being too needy and not wanting her to hang out with her guy friends or I make her feel guilty that she would rather hang out with them instead of talking to me on the computer. I also kind of made her drive all the way here to see me even though she was new at driving and her sister and roommates told her it was really dangerous but she still did. I guess my reason was its because we've waited for so long to being able to be together but we can't do anything before but now we can. But yah she drove a few times and than she thought how ridiculous it was and it was too dangerous so she stopped. For christmas break I wanted her to come back with me to my home town but she couldn't because of her parents and how they are not suppose to know that she is dating. That was when that guy confessed to her. She started to hang out with her friends more and started to ignore me. I did the text message terrorism asking where she is all the time and who she is with. And a few days after she told me she was confused of who she wanted to be with and as time went by, she started to hang out with him more and more and talked to him more and hanged out with her friends now. I begged her to come back and promised I would change but its not working…

Anyway last time I talked to her she told me she was confused who she wanted to be with and she told me she would be the one that would make her happiest. Since he lives closer to her and they get to be with each other more I think she would end up choosing him. She told me that she would wait for me to be able to be with her before she makes her decision because right now it wouldn't be fair. Basically I think she is torn between both guys but she has never been his girlfriend before and not now yet at least I think. I haven't talked to her for 3 days now and it is so hard because I try to implement no contact but I told her that I needed some space to think. The truth is I love her so much and I am willing to do anything for her. So right now I'm not exactly sure what to do? Should I keep implementing no contact like what I'm doing now? I haven't sent her the second chance letter yet should I do that? What should I do after all of this? I'm afraid if I implement no contact I would lose her for good because that guy would just be there for her when I'm actually out of her life. I was her first boyfriend and we lost our virginity to each other I don't know if that means anything but she told me she didn't regret it because she knows she's going to be with me forever but this was all before this situation happened. She told me I would have to find myself right now and she's not sure whether me and her would be together and I could tell she really likes the other guy as well. She said she doesn’t think our personality matches and recently she’s been really close to the other guy. Should I fight for her or just learn to let it go. She means everything to me and I don’t want to let her go though. I want to end up with her. What should I do guys? T_T I haven’t talked to her for about a week now. I don’t know what's going in her life anymore and I'm using the no contact rule. Im confused about my feelings for her now because I want someone to love me and only me and appreciate me and be loyal to me but at the same time I want that girl to be that person. To me it seems like she’s already made her choice to be with that guy because she has been really close to him lately. Any advice?

Learn to use paragraphing and proper spacing you will get alot more answers.

You are inexperienced with managing a relationship and a long distance one is even harder for the most mature and experienced partners. She is your first, and guess what, she is also your first break up.

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I don't know what's going in her life anymore and I'm using the no contact rule.

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The lines of good honest communications are broken, because of distance, and she is not willing to work with you in this regard. That's a really big problem, and shows she does want what you do, at this time.

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I'm confused about my feelings for her now because I want someone to love me and only me and appreciate me and be loyal to me

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We all want that, that's natural and human.

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but at the same time I want that girl to be that person.

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There is the rub, you fail to see she doesn't want to be the one for you so back off, leave her alone, and give yourself some time for the emotional dust to settle, and let NC work to heal you, and see the reality of your situation.

The relationship is over, and its time to regroup, and let go.

Sorry for your loss.

She was your first serious girlfriend and you will always remember her, but it doesn't look good at this point. I think it's better to move on and find a girl who lives closer. Long distance is really tough.

Threads merged


Hey guys I have been in no contact with my ex for a week now. Last time we talked about a week ago was the situation that she doesn't know who she wants to be with. There are 2 guys me and the "other guy". She told me she wanted to give him a try because she's gave me one already.

She also said that she would wait for me. I don't know if she will ever. We're in a long distance relationship and he lives closer to her and she has been with him a lot lately and getting really close. I've become from everything to her to nothing to her now. Her priorities have shifted and now her "friends" and that "guy" is what her priority is focused on now.

I believe I still love her. At first no contact is really hard but it has gotten easier now. The thing is now I want someone who would want to be with me and love only me no one else. But the thing is I want her to be that person but I'm not sure if she will ever be. I still think of her some times and I could picture spending my life with her but I don't know if that's going to happen anymore...

How I see it is that she has already made a decision to be with him the day she broke up with me and I'm not going to be there for her as a friend since I'm not good enough to be her boyfriend anymore. I still want to be with her and I think its going to get harder again after a while because I've been with her for so long and she's my first love and the first girl I've "been" with intimately.

Right now I'm just waiting to see what happens but I believe that she is going to just end up with that guy. I don't get how he just confesses and after being with her for so long she just breaks up with me and forgot everything I did for her. I guess she never really love me. Anyway I'm not sure what to do right now. Should I just keep no contacting her?

I've did all the typical things that made me seem desperate already. I've begged, texted her a lot and called her a lot be4 I put no contact into place. Lots of people told me to move on but I'm afraid I won't be able to love anymore. The more time I've spent away from her the further I drift from her like I don't need her anymore but I don't think I won't be able to forget her completely ill always be wondering about the what ifs...

Anyway what do you guys/gals think? Any opinions or advice is appreciated. THANKS IN ADVANCE!

We all wonder for a while and then when we are far enough away we realize that everything happens for a reason, even if we don't know at the time what that reason is.

Maybe she will come back in time and you will find that with your perspective back in place that you don't want a women who walks away from a relationship so easily.

More than likely she won't come back but you will learn from you experience, you will heal and you will know yourself better for it and have learned more of what you are looking for in your next girlfriend. You will love again, but you aren't meant to love again right this second.

Either way NC is the best way to give yourself the time to heal and the perspective you need to make your decision without a clouded head.

Keep your head up, you will make it through this a stronger and more self confident person.

Yep I agree. I just thought we had more than that you know? I thought she was the one and we planned out our lives together and everything.

I just don't know what to do nowadays. I have so much extra time now that I don't talk to her anymore and I kind of feel scared for the future because I don't know what now.

Because before when me and her was together I actually had something to look forward to but life seems so unpredictable now and I don't know what to do. I guess it was always unpredictable. Lol I don't know if that makes sense its hard putting it in words.

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just thought we had more than that you know?

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Of course you did. As did everybody else who was experienced a painful breakup.

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I thought she was the one and we planned out our lives together and everything.

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That's the thing.. You were blueprinting your future, therefor, ignoring what was in front of you.

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I have so much extra time now that I don't talk to her anymore and I kind of feel scared for the future because I don't know what now.

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Learn from the past, live in the present, and don't fear the future.

Now that you have so much time, how about donating some of it to a good cause? Perhaps you can view the perspective of someone with substantial problems.

Yea when you break up, a lot of your plans get shifted away and it's like a fresh new start. You should be excited. But if you feel like you have a lot of free time, you should go out and do some activities, sports, etc.

As for the pain, it will get easier and easier as the days go on. You might still think about her here and there, but like you said, it's your first love she you will never really forget completely. Since you guys live so far, it will also be easier to get over her.

Threads merged.............again.

Okays so yah me and my ex broke up recently from a long distance relationship we've been in for 2 years and I've put no contact into place to try to find myself and heal and do some thinking. Its been just a little more than a week now. My ex has two guys in her life me and the "other guy" and when I was with her he confessed to her and now she's all confused and broke up with me.

They have been spending more time together since he lives closer together. And it hurts me a lot. I just did something really really stupid I went onto her profile on Facebook and I saw pics of him and her holding hands >_< my heart is starting to hurt again... the whole week of no contact seemed like it was a waste and now I'm back to feeling the heartaches again just when I thought I was getting better. I guess I'm not completely over her and I still love her.

Anyway, I'm thinking of going to see her this weekend and tell her that I still love her and want to be with her but there's no room for 2 guys in her life so if she decides to keep him I'm going to walk out of her life for good and forever because it hurts me too much to see them together. It seems like she is trying to hold onto 2 guys at the same time. Is that really a good move or should I keep on to the no contact?

Hey,

I really feel the way you are feeling right now, cause I found out some news about my ex and the new girl he likes and I felt like I was going to die. It is just too unreal that they are together, I totally don't understand how he can love someone else in such a short time. But we just have to face the fact that they don't love us anymore. I'm sure we all try to think that they must have some feelings left for us, or they'll still remember the whatever thing we did together... I guess we all just want to grasp on to something that will make us feel better.

But the truth always hurt right? That pic that you saw is more than real.. and as much as you don't want to accept the fact that she's moving on.. u'll just have to. It's really hard for me to accept this too... I still cry every night... and I miss him like crazy... and just the thought of him liking someone else or talking to someone else on the phone at night.. makes me go crazy. But, I'm still going to try to not contact him... I think this is for the best.

But if you must go find her for some closure... then go ahead... but set a limit for yourself so you don't keep going back!

Good luck~

NO! Stick to NC and continue to treat this as a break up and go out and enjoy your life. Forget about her relationship with you as you currently do not have one. I will tell you right now, you go visit her this weekend you will be back Monday saying "how stupid you were"

I fear you are trying to do some type of "Hollywood" love trick on her... this ain't Hollywood, and life ain't the movies. Do not go make a fool of yourself. Save your pride and start focusing on yourself. You are delusional if you think anything like this would work. I also don't know where you get off saying she is "holding on to two guys," as it seems you are the only one holding on to her... it appears she is moving on with her life. I know it sucks, but it's the truth.

And, get rid of her Facebook!! I have done similar things such as that, and curiosity kills that cat my friend.

A week?? You've been broken up for a week and she is already posting pictures with another guy on her Facebook? Yikes...

Facebook - as much as I love it - is the WORST thing for breakups. As KC said, get rid of it. Don't even check yours - the status feed will keep you "updated" on her life... and that will drive you nuts.

Hon, I know it hurts, but keep up with the NC. NC isn't a means to an end to get back the girl. It is a time-tested way to heal your own heart. Keep healing. Keep going.

You can make it.

None12345- Unfortunately man she has already moved on. Seeing a picture of her holding hands with this 'new guy' should be the closure you need to start letting go, NC, and healing. Like others said you going to see her will just tear into your own heart. Don't do it. Unfortunately when someone doesn't want you, they don't even want your actions or kind gestures either. If they ever miss you, or want you back.. then they will offer to listen, hear what you have to say, and give you that chance. Until then.. it's done.

Facebook? I'll tell you something funny.. I heard that my ex was looking at my "Status/away msgs" on facebook/myspace. Do you know every night I spent 1/2 hour changing my away messages hoping I could make it something that "impacted" her decision about us? Sad... - or just a broken heart. I thought for a split second that the talks with her in person, the huge letters, the talks with her family, etc would be over-run by a single away message on the computer. It's called denial, and its part of healing..
Delete Facebook, myspace, etc.. Until you have healed enough to where it doesn't hurt you when you look.

Thumper.

I am uncertain about deleting your Facebook account. People are suggesting this because you cannot control your emotions. But, had you deleted your account, you would not have known that she's very public about her new relationship. In other words, she is indirectly showing you that she has moved on. This is the type of closure that you need to move on with your life.

You don't need to delete her account, but you can delete her from your "friends" list. It won't do any good to constantly go on there and see updates of her moving on. Create your own closure, don't wait on it to happen from someone else.

Okay guys ill delete her from my friends list so I can stop checking. You're right I do need closure but I'm not sure if I have it yet. Do you guys know any way of finding closure? Maybe one last confrontation? A letter explaining how I completely feel? Its just I didn't have the lets never see each other again or I will never love you from her yet. Maybe that's what I need but thanks for helping me out.

Write your letter and post it on AMHD. You'd be amazed at how many people actually do it. It helps with the healing and letting go process, but also doesn't give in to your "one last contact" tendencies.

Or, if you don't feel like you can post it on here, write it out on a paper. I would even go so far as to say write it and then destroy it. Kind of like that Friends episode where they threw all of their old boyfriend's things in a pot and set it on fire. It's a liberating experience. I did it - not with fire, just threw it all away! :)

Clean breaks are the best. Believe me, I know.

Lol haha I saw that friends episode. Speaking of friends do you know how ross and rachel ended up together in the end?? In that case they had contact so I guess it really depends if you want your ex back or not to put no contact into place neh?

Actually, that episode was the single, solitary episode that I watched of that series. I was going through a rough break up and someone made me watch it.

I needed to hear that principle. That states "when it's over, you have to believe that it is over before you can really, truly heal." Then, once you get rid of the "ex stuff" hunky firemen will come ;)

Seriously though, the best way to move on is to truly move on. Not hold on to hopes and wishes that you'll get back together, because that is just a false sense of happiness.

Truly, completely, honestly move on. Start now - decide that you're really going to move on. It's a mental decision, every moment.

And, pretty soon, you'll realize that you really have moved on - and that you can look back on the relationship with a smile for the good times.

I wish you the best.

Hey guys appreciate everything you guys said and I can see where you are getting at and you guys are probably right that ill regret this but I think this weekend I'm going to go see her and ask her who she wants to be with and that there's no room for 2 guys in her life. And if she wants to be with the other guy ill just stay out of her life because it would hurt me to see them together.

I think I need closure so I can finally accept it and it would be easier to heal and move on after all she was my first love so its going to be really hard. I just don't think we can just end things like this without things being settled. Im still deciding whether my love for her is true and if I would fight for her to the end or not. What do you guys think?

Just wanted to update you guys... Thanks Again

I think I will regret it even more if I don't do whatever I can and maybe I can find my peace easier if things don't work out for me to know that I did everything I could.

Don't do anything for or to her anymore. Ive done it all, and it just makes you seem weak! Trust me on this I did everything wrong for 2 months. I texted, emailed, drunk dialed, showed up, letters blah blah etc etc. Do something to get your mind off her, like take a trip or visit an old friend. I broke NC 8 times!! And its been 2 months and all its done was put me in the same cycle of ups and downs. Id be great one day, then contacted her, then I feel like I'm back at square one. I did this for 2 months dude. Its not healthy, She's with someone else, she's moved on. Disappear and make her miss you, if she comes back that's up to you whether to take her back, I wouldn't especially if she's with someone else after a week and streaming it to the world on Facebook. That to me shows she has no respect for you, treat her the same way. If you show up and see her its only going to hurt you more. I had to pick up my stuff from her house, damn that hurt. Don't go and see her you will regret it!! I felt the same way you did, you would rather try and fail than not try at all, but ITS NOT WORTH IT!! I KNOW. I JUST DEALT WITH THE Same SITUATION! And your not going to get the outcome your looking for, otherwise she'd still be with you, you cannot change her mind. And trying will only make her angrier that you are trying to change her mind.

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Originally Posted by heartbroke

Dont do anything for or to her anymore. Ive done it all, and it just makes you seem weak! Trust me on this i did everything wrong for 2 months. I texted, emailed, drunk dialed, showed up, letters blah blah etc etc. Do something to get your mind off her, like take a trip or visit an old friend. I broke NC 8 times!!! and its been 2 months and all its done was put me in the same cycle of ups and downs. Id be great one day, then contacted her, then i feel like im back at square one. I did this for 2 months dude. Its not healthy, Shes with someone else, shes moved on. Dissapear and make her miss you, if she comes back thats up to you whether or not to take her back, i wouldnt especially if shes with someone else after a week and streaming it to the world on facebook. That to me shows she has no respect for you, treat her the same way. If you show up and see her its only going to hurt you more. I had to pick up my stuff from her house, damn that hurt. Dont go and see her you will regret it!!!!!! I felt the same exact way you did, u would rather try and fail than not try at all, but ITS NOT WORTH IT!!!!!I KNOW. I JUST DEALT WITH THE SAME EXACT SITUATION! and your not going to get the outcome your looking for, otherwise she'd still be with you, you cannot change her mind. And trying will only make her angrier that u are trying to change her mind.

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Yah dewd I know what you mean. Maybe if I fill you in with more details too see if it matters. Basically she wants me to tell her about how I really feel about her and I told her I rather do this in person than IM or on the phone. Originally I thought about just sending a letter because she is not worth going so far for anymore because of what she did. I feel betrayed but I still have feelings for her and I wish things with her would end up well. I've been in no contact for more than a week now and I starting to heal and feel like I don't need her in my life anymore. But I still feel a part of me is missing

But I still have feelings for her and I wish me and her would end up well together. I feel like things aren't settled yet and I need closure in order to move on and heal healthily. She said she would make time for me this weekend if I come. She said she needs to know how I feel and think and says it might make a difference. Notice the word "might" I just don't get it... how can she be with someone so fast after breaking up with her first love, Me. What about true love? If you love someone truly and deeply you would do anything for them? You would fight for them to the very end? I would do that but only if that guy is not in her life because it hurts me too much to see them together.

And I need some answers before I can make a decision to fight for her to the very end or its time to let go. I would rather do this in person. So basically what I'm saying is I'm looking for closure. And I talked to some of my friends and they say if you don't try your best right now then you might regret it for the rest of your life but if you tried your best and she doesn't end up with you at least you won't have any regrets because you tried your best? What do you think about this? Do you believe in it? Anyway so yah that's what's going on now.

I did that, and it did nothing but sink me in a deeper hole. Say you tried right? And things didn't go your way, then all of a sudden you're thinking, "i dont think that was my best, lemme try again". Then you get into the "what if's"... What if I said this instead of that.. and depending on how persistent you are it's a cycle that will have you bleeding out of your heart. She should know how you feel, but telling her will only give her the upper hand. You tell her you love her and that you want her to "choose" which guy she wants. If she chooses the other guy and it doesn't work out... are you going to be her new doormat? I was a few days to proposing to my ex. We were a few weeks from moving away to start our new life. She haunts me, everything from my clothes, my truck, my school was all a positive result of her. I cannot escape from her, and I love her but she doesn't want to be with me anymore. Says she "lost interest" in me, right after she was losing her house, we both lost our jobs and spent the last 2 weeks together at her place. You can't tell her, she just needs to realize. Plus you chase a girl, they run away, but if you let them be, surely but slowly they will come back. I still have feelings for my girl, I loved her. But she has no feelings for me which is sad and makes me depressed to the bone. She wants to see how high you will jump for her, save your dignity... do not see her

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Originally Posted by heartbroke

i did that, and it did nothing but sink me in a deeper hole. Say u tried right? and things didnt go your way, then all of a sudden youre thinking, "i dont think that was my best, lemme try again". Then you get into the "what if's"....What if i said this instead of that..., and depending on how persistent you are its a cycle that will have you bleeding out of your heart. She should know how you feel, but telling her will only give her the upper hand. You tell her you love her and that you want her to "choose" which guy she wants. If she chooses the other guy and it doesnt work out...are you going to be her new doormat? I was a few days to proposing to this girl. We were a few weeks from moving away to start our new life. This girl haunts me, everything from my clothes, my truck, my school was all a positive result of her. I cannot escape from her, and i love her but she doesnt want to be with me anymore. Says she "lost interest" in me, right after she was losing her house, we both lost our jobs and spent the last 2 weeks together at her place. You can't tell her, she just needs to realize. Plus you chase a girl, they run away, but if you let them be, surely but slowly they will come back. I still have feelings for my girl, i loved her. but she has no feelings for me which is sad and makes me depressed to the bone. She wants to see how high you will jump for her, save your dignity...do not see her

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Awww sorry to hear about that girl. You had it worse than me you guys were about to move away together. What happened after? How did you cope with it? How have you been ever since? Are you still thinking of her or have you found someone new?

Okay yea you are right it is just going to become a cycle with full of heartaches along with it. Ever I stopped contacting her the heartaches are gone now and I feel better but I still miss her here and there and I feeel like a part of me is missing without her in my life. She is kind of expecting me so do I blow her off and tell her I can't come? But this time when I do go and she decides to go with the other guy I will tell myself not to go back. But I don't know if I can follow through with it.

She does want to see how high I am willing to jump for her. She said who ever jumps for her the highest is the person she is going to be with. But that's the thing I'm not going to be compared to this other guy. Im going to tell her I'm walking out of her life forever if she picks him originally when I decided to go. I don't feel like I should be compared. She told the other guy that she wants to hear what I have to tell her first before she can make a decision of who she wants to be with when clearly she wants to be with him. So why is she doing this? Why can't she come out and tell me I'm not the one she wants to be with? That would be a lot easier for me to accept and for me to move on instead of just keeping me here saying there's a "chance" ill end up with her.

I just feel like I need some closure. If not a last confrontation is there any other way I can find one and leave things unsettled? Anyway what do you think about this?? Thanks for replying.

I am still not over my ex. When I lose someone like that so close to me, ill never get over it and I never will, I am still learning how to deal with it. She was everything I was looking for in a person, looks, wits and everything in between. I would do anything to be with her again.
I have not looked for anyone as I am not over her, its not healthy for me, not fair to the new person if I have not healed and moved on. I am still coping with it. There is a huge void that cannot be filled by anyone but her, or solely repaired by me. I went to the Caribbean to do volunteer work to make me feel good about myself. It was great until my thoughts caught up to me, and I cut my trip short 2 weeks.
Now your situation... I don't mean to be rude when I say this but you have both become her monkeys at the circus. Whoever does a trick gets the banana. You're letting her size which one of you she wants.I know my ex isn't with someone but she's gorgeous and I'm sure someone will come along soon and shell be swept away. You have closure buddy, she's with someone else and you've decided to give her a chance to choose which one of you she wants. Don't show her that you're willing to be picked out of a crowd. You are unique... one in six billion, and if she can't see that then its her loss. I say blow her off, honestly. She has no respect for you or the other guy if she's willing to choose between the 2 of you and let you both be aware of it. Don't give her that choice. Just walk away, say nothing to her, don't show up. Do not give her the satisfaction of crushing you or showing you that you are below her.

We are both here for the same reason. The ex broke up with us and we are searching for answers. I was in your position and I didn't get all the advice I needed until it was too late. I see you are taking the same destructive path I chose. It doesn't end well padre, seriously consider I was there, a month ago trying to reason with her and see that I try to show her, blah blah blah. It does nothing.

Dewd I know what you mean and how you feel because I feel exactly like how you feel this girl is the girl of my dreams cept that girl in my dreams loves me but if I could get her to than she would be that girl.

I was thinking of showing up and telling her it is time to pick me or him and if she picks him ima leave forever do you think that's a good idea? Its her last chance to be with me and I'm ready to move on even though ill still love her and want to be with her.

Dewd do you have msn maybe we can talk about it more there?

You cannot force someone to love you. It has to come naturally between 2 people. Again you are letting her pick, this is not a good idea. From my point of view it's a lose lose situation for you. So she picks the other guy? You walk home with your tail between your legs. So she picks you? You go home with her, on her leash. Could you be with someone who had already gotten together with someone else so quickly after 1 week. You have a LDR with this girl. Can you trust her now if your back together? Especially if now that she's done it once already to you? This guy is much closer than you are to her physically... what makes you say she'll only be with you and not him as well? I told my ex she's making a big mistake and that shell regret it. Women know what they are doing when they do something. She stuck to her decision... big mistake, and her loss. I do not have msn. Its 3 am where I live, I can't sleep because I'm not sleeping next to the woman of my dreams like I used to. She threw away the 2 years you guys had in 1 week. Is that someone with commitment? I am trying to help you, do not make the same mistakes I did.

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I was thinking of showing up and telling her it is time to pick me or him

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Don't make me laugh, she has already made her choice and told you about it.

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and if she picks him ima leave forever do you think that's a good idea?

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Great idea, she she has already picked him, sorry.

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its her last chance to be with me

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Her actions speak louder than words and if you think your going to scare her into changing her mind... your very wrong, so don't humiliate yourself.

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and I'm ready to move on even though ill still love her and want to be with her.

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Then do so, without the drama, than will bring you misery and pain, and humiliation.

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Is that really a good move or should I keep on to the no contact?I was

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This is a lousy idea borne in desperation and shock. She has been looking around for a long time, but never told you about it, so she is fine at this time with moving on.

Its only been a week, your emotions are still high and your hurt feelings are still raw. Let the dust settle before you act on emotion and impulse, as you don't need closure, you just want one more act of desperation to get what you had. Its like that Hail Mary pass at the end of the game for the winning touchdown. While I saw it work once, it usually fails.

All the closure you need is in disappearing from her life, and regrouping, and rebuilding. That's a big job, so leave her alone, and get started.

Why do you need to be rejected twice, before you get it??

I don't know everything just seems so hard everyone is telling me the same thing to stop contacting her and being her life and I know they are right its just I really don't know what to do anymore...

You are not her life anymore, its simple but you cannot see the picture because your mind is clouded by her and your thoughts of her. Dude you sound really young, you should really find a girl closer to you and have fun

Have fun, without finding the girl! Why complicate your life any more?? I swear, being single is more fun than you can imagine, just hard to see that right now.

Hehe I'm not that young I'm getting older I'm almost 20 its almost time to settle down with a girl now. Do you guys think I should just forget about her and move on? Try to find another girl that will love me? Or still fight for her if I believe it is true love?

Almost 20 isn't time to settle down. Shoot you can't even drink yet or bar hop, wait until you are about 27-28 yo to settle down! YOU HAVE PLENTY OF TIME.

Lol I guess I wanted to find the love of my life really fast and than spend the rest of my life with her I planned to get married at 24 lol but I guess that's not going to happen. I've learned its good to go outside it's a beautiful day today it just cheers up your mood. But whenever I think of her it just ruins my day... maybe there's another reason I should learn to let go on this one

Quote:

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maybe there's another reason I should learn to let go on this one

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Learn to make adjustments when a plan doesn't come together
Learn to cope with your feelings, all of them
Learn some self control
Learn more about yourself
Be responsible for your own happiness
Be more aware of what goes on around you
When life knocks you down... get back up... or drown in your own shat!


That will get you started. The list is very long. Oh, 20 is pretty young to me.

What's the rush, brother? Come on man. Life shouldn't be that stressful. You need to loosen up and learn to let go. It's not nearly as easy as I'm making it out to be. But, trust me when I say, we've all been through this, and we'll all survive. Hang in there.

Yup yup thanks for the advice guys. But how do you know when to let go or fight for it because people tell me when you really love someone you would fight for them to the very end? That's what's bothering me right now