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Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

I was in a relationship for 7 months with a girl I thought I could see myself being with for a while. We fell heavily in love with eachother. Feelings I felt for her I never felt for anyone else. Everything was good. We went out alot. We went on picnics, went to the lake, went star gazing, she even told me that I was a dream come true and that she loves that fact that she loves me. Even the first time she told she loved me she started crying. She was sending me Love Text messages. Showing me all kinds of affection. I met her family and all.

Then she went off to school which was only 35mins away...thats all!!! And she started being really distant with me, not calling and textin as much, stop sayin I love you, stopped all affection, but everytime I asked her what was wrong she would always say that she was good and everything was fine. But I knew she was lying bc her actions spoke different and bc I had that intuition that things had changed.

So I finally get her to open up to me about what was wrong and she said that she wasn't as excited about me as she was early in the relationship, and I kept asking her why and all she would ever say is "I DONT KNOW" everytime, IT DROVE ME NUTS!!! I ASKED HER DO SHE LOVE ME AND SHE DIDNT ANSWER...WEIRD SILENCE! Now we are broken up, and I dont have any closure on what really went on with her. Did she meet someone else? Did she get bored with me? Or whatever else it could have been? It would be so easy for to move on if I had that closure but its so hard. I have been doin the NO CONTACT thing and just moving on. But I still don't understand.

The same day she broke up with me. I agreed hoping that we would get back to the way things used to be. So a couple of days go by I went to see her at her school. She wasn't saying much. Acting very different. Her actions didn't line up to what she saying. So a week later I broke up with her bc she still "DIDNT KNOW HOW SHE FELT ABOUT ANYTHING AFTER ABOUT A ALMOST A MONTH. All she said was that I didn't give her enough time to try to make it work. Im confused...

WHY DO PEOPLE FALL IN LOVE SOOO HARD THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THEY CHANGE AND DON'T KNOW HOW THEY FEEL???

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Now that you have a little background... heres what happen recently. 2 weeks after I broke up with her. As time goes by Im fine... finally realizing that I need to accept the situation and move on. Well I didn't I kept believing in a "false hope" that things can work out. So I broke the "NO CONTACT" rule and messaged her telling her that "I miss her and that we can work things out and that there was so much more of me that I wanted her to get to know and that I care for her so much."

So 4 days go by. I text her to see how she was doing. Then I asked her "Is she still thinking about everything or is her mind made up about what she want to do" and she said she was still thinking. But then she changed the subject and said she has to go so I said OK. So this past Saturday I texted her and told that I had some things to do but after that I am free if she wanted to talk. Maybe we could go get a bite to eat and just talk. She didn't return a message saying anything. So later that day I texted her again letting her know that I was done with what I had to do. She texted me back and said "No Im trying to catch up on my homework." I felt that the tone in text was friendly at all. So I texted her back and said "I sorry to bother you then. Good luck with studying. take care."

She didn't text back so I felt that you know her mind is made up she is not thinking about the situation she just want me to just moved on without her having to tell me. So I texted her saying "I really like you but are you really thinking about the situation? I just want us to make a honest try." So she texts me back and says that "I don't want a second chance. I dont believe in that bc it will never be like it was at first so no" So when I read that I started to think that she had her mind made up a long time ago. SHE DOESN'T BELIEVE IN SECOND CHANCES BUT I GAVE HER A SECOND CHANCE! I felt like I was lead on. But if she would have never changed on me we would be all right. She is talking like it was my fault that the relationship went to way it did. It was all her doing.

Since the break up was fresh... During the past week on her Facebook status online. It read "I am confused about this one [guy]. Yet Im am so infactuate by him. And yes. It is you." Other times it said "I have high hopes in someone"...."What happen between then and now. Was all of that just talk?"..."Ima have to pass on that offer and leave the past in the past." AND SHE TOLD ME THAT ALL OF THAT WASN'T ABOUT ME. SO THAT TELLS ME THAT SHE MOVED ON VERY QUICKLY WHEN I BROKE UP WITH HER. SHE Wasn't THINKING ABOUT ANYTHING. SHE WAS LEADING ME ON... I NEED YOU GUYS ADVICE.

I notice a trend, and in the future I'd pay close attention to these situations where they become distant. Very strange that it happened when she moved and went to school? No, it's because there are all sorts of guys there. I think that she did find someone else, sadly. I really feel for you and understand, and wish some people weren't so selfish to just jump to the next best thing, and not even care what they put their so called lover through. How can you be with someone so long, and treat them so badly? What right do they have?

Tell her that you aren't going to be strung along anymore, to go to hell, and never speak to you again. Show her you aren't going to put up with this. For your own sanity you can't talk to her again. Believe me, I was a wreck too. But you just cant.

Ok... Get ready because I may hurt your feelings.

First, you broke the NC rule! We don't preach NC because it's good for our health, we preach it because when it is FOLLOWED correctly, it works! So hopefully now you are ticked off enough to do NC without trying to find dangled hopes through stupid social networking sites.

Second, delete her off your myspace, Facebook, bebo or tin can. However you get those stupid status updates get rid of it! They are there to provide confusion and you're sucking right in. I bet yours say sappy love things too. Just get rid of it, I stayed off myspace for 2 months after my break up and believe me it helped

Yea I finally deleted her off all my friendslist on myspace and Facebook. I hate that I broke the NO CONTACT rule! I kept thinking that I could fix the situation. But the crazy thing about it is that she doesn't feel as if she led me on or anything. She felt as she has done nothing wrong?

Who cares what she thinks, care about yourself and only yourself in this situation! You need to heal yourself, you can't control what people do, only what you allow people to do to you.

Don't beat yourself up.

you're only human.

It'll make good stories later when you find a news love.

And you will!

Look I do not think anyone has ever just gone cold turkey. I have made mistakes and probably everyone else who has gone NC. I looked at her myspace and guess what it did, it hurt me to read that she was so deeply in love with the guy she left me for. I mean I honestly thought we had love but I did she did not. So the advice is stop looking for crumbs of information about her.

As that conversation and messages have shown you she does not want to be with you. So let go stop holding on to false hope.

Does it matter what she thinks ? Hell no. I know its hard but its time you let go of this one. Sooner you accept that and start looking to the future and what it holds instead of clinging to the past the better you will be. `

Me and Sneezy went cold turkey, we used to joke because we started the NC and no myspace/facebook stuff at the same time. It's hard work, but stupid things like this or texts that make it really easy

I know it shouldn't matter what she thinks but she doesn't think she did anything wrong... and she moved on so quick. And because she thinks she has done nothing wrong it kind of makes me think that everything was my fault. Or maybe that's me just being weak.

Just you being weak, but don't worry you will become stronger. My ex moved on quickly too.. Hanging out with the guy a few days after we broke up, and the guy was someone we worked with. Imagine having to see that everyday you worked. And it was a guy "you don't have to worry about, I could never like him" so yep, know what you're going through

I mean I was a really good boyfriend to her. I hate that all that time was wasted. Do she even know how good of a guy I was. How could I just be so stupid.

First off your time was not waisted you have learnt lots of leassons

Like STOP texting someone when they seem about as intrested in you as the black death don't you get the hint she first ignores you in the text then says she has to do homework Ahhh. Its pain to read man.. this is what you have to stop. You will push girls away with that.

But Dude didn't we tell you to stay away from her? I can't feel sorry for you because this is your fault you do know that.

She is bad news and you getting played sucks but! I think most of us sayd she is not good for you.

So Now stop the pain Train and leave her in the dust!

Work on yourself get some PRIDE! And stop giving this person your heart to smash. Stop looking at her Facebook OK. You will not find anything in there to help you she will not give you any special messages you will just probable end up finding that she has moved on with some ugly mose head, and that will make you even more angry

Help yourself here bud please :) no one likes seeing someone hurting

Put this down to one set back and don't make the same mistake again
You sound young :) so take it from me it does not get any better, but we learn how to deal with things so much more. You have so much ahead of you. And if you can take the good things from this you will really have used your time wisely

Best of luck

Or if all else fails, Russian mail order brides.

Hey! Like no one else has thought about it!

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

First off your time was not waisted you have learnt lots of leassons

Like STOP texting someone when they seem about as intrested in you as the black death dont you get the hint she first ignores you in the text then says she has to do homework Ahhh. its pain to read man.. this is what you have to stop. you will push girls away with that.

but Dude didnt we tell you to stay away from her?? i can't feel sorry for you because this is your fault you do know that.

She is bad news and you getting played sucks but! i think most of us sayd she is not good for you.

So Now stop the pain Train and leave her in the dust!

Work on your self get some PRIDE! and stop giving this person your heart to smash. stop looking at her facebook ok. you will not find anything in there to help you she will not give you any special messages you will just probable end up finding that she has moved on with some ugly mose head, and that will make you even more angry

Help your self here bud please :) no one likes seing someone hurting

Put this down to one set back and dont make the same mistake again
You sound young :) so take it from me it does not get any better, but we learn how to deal with things so much more. you have so much ahead of you. and if you can take the good things from this you will really have used your time wisely

best of luck

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Yea she was ignoring me... I knew it... why she couldn't just be honest and tell me upfront a long time ago and all of this could have been avoided? You know? Now I made myself look like a weak fool! All because I was trying to fix the situation...

"There's no doubt about it - breakups suck. But in the first few hours or days or weeks that follow, there's one important truth you need to recognize: some things can't and shouldn't be fixed, especially that loser who dumped you or forced you to dump them. It's over for a reason, and deep down inside you probably know what that reason is."

It's my sig for a reason

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Just you being weak, but don't worry you will become stronger. My ex moved on quickly too..Hanging out with the guy a few days after we broke up, and the guy was someone we worked with. Imagine having to see that everyday you worked. And it was a guy "you don't have to worry about, I could never like him" so yep, know what you're going through

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Ha I was in the same boat I was feed those lies :D but it wasn't someone she worked with rather was a friend with from back in the day.

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Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Ha I was in the same boat I was feed those lies :D but it wasn't someone she worked with rather was friends with from back in the day.

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How was she able to move on so quickly? I couldn't have done that. That's the main why I thought those status was about me because breakup was still fresh it just now going on two weeks.

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Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

How was she able to move on so quickly? I couldn't have done that. Thats the main why I thought those status was about me bc breakup was still fresh it just now goin on two weeks.

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Ahh you want to know? Because they had made their minds up a long time ago. Accept it or not but it is how it works. Sooner you accept you will not be with her the sooner you'll start feeling better.

Also the reason you could not do this is because you had stronger feelings for her and had no doubts about it. She on the other hand did not feel the same as you and had her doubts.

So instead of wanting her back when she obviously does not feel the same about you as you do her you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get out and look for the one who will!

And for the forth edit sorry, stuff keeps popping up.
Honestly you'll realize in time that it was not meant to be and your better off not trying to make it work.

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

Just you being weak, but don't worry you will become stronger. My ex moved on quickly too..Hanging out with the guy a few days after we broke up, and the guy was someone we worked with. Imagine having to see that everyday you worked. And it was a guy "you don't have to worry about, I could never like him" so yep, know what you're going through

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I wonder who lies more. Men or women? I'd bet it's 50/50 in the end...

Oh yea, most likely 50/50, each sex lies but for different reasons I think. Guys lie many because they don't want to get caught, girls lie many because they don't want to hurt the person.

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Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Ahh you want to know? because they had made their minds up a long time ago. Accept it or not but it is how it works. Sooner you accept you will not be with her the sooner you'll start feeling better.

Also the reason you could not do this is because you had stronger feelings for her and had no doubts about it. She on the other hand did not feel the same as you and had her doubts.

So instead of wanting her back when she obviously does not feel the same about you as you do her you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get out and look for the one who will!

And for the forth edit sorry, stuff keeps popping up.
Honestly you'll realize in time that it was not meant to be and your better off not trying to make it work.

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Yea you know... I believe that she had her mind made up a long time ago. All she had to do was be honest with me instead she made a selfish choice and allowed the relationship to drag on. And yea I felt that my feelings were stronger than hers because it got to a point where I was doing everything in the relationship. I was putting out and putting out and not getting anything in return.

The last day I talked to her. I asked her "What did I do to you that was so bad?" and I asked her "Did you have your mind made up a long time ago?" And she couldn't even answer the question. All she said was that she don't want to talk about it right now.

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Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Ahh you want to know? because they had made their minds up a long time ago. Accept it or not but it is how it works. Sooner you accept you will not be with her the sooner you'll start feeling better.

Also the reason you could not do this is because you had stronger feelings for her and had no doubts about it. She on the other hand did not feel the same as you and had her doubts.

So instead of wanting her back when she obviously does not feel the same about you as you do her you need to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get out and look for the one who will!

And for the forth edit sorry, stuff keeps popping up.
Honestly you'll realize in time that it was not meant to be and your better off not trying to make it work.

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Yea you know... I believe that she had her mind made up a long time ago. All she had to do was be honest with me instead she made a selfish choice and allowed the relationship to drag on. And yea I felt that my feelings were stronger than hers because it got to a point where I was doing everything in the relationship. I was putting out and putting out and not getting anything in return.

The last day I talked to her. I asked her "What did I do to you that was so bad?" and I asked her "Did you have your mind made up a long time ago?" And she couldn't even answer the question. All she said was that she don't want to talk about it right now.

Be nice if we knew when they did that something had changed, but it seldom works that way. But when some one tells me "she don't want to talk about it right now.", I walk away and do my thing until she is. That's a sure sign of communication breakdown, and a sign to prepare yourself, as indeed, something has changed.

Unless you've been through it as I have a number of times, you can't know what's coming, or what to really do about it

So when I asked her "What did I do to her that was just so bad" and "You had your mind made up a long time ago didn't you" and she said "she doesn't want to talk about that right now". That tells me that she knows that I didn't do anything and that she really did had her mind made up a long time ago. Or maybe she done talking about it... and wants the comunication between me and her to cease? Maybe?

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Originally Posted by Sweet_Guy23

So when I asked her "What did I do to her that was just so bad" and "You had your mind made up a long time ago didn't you" and she said "she doesn't want to talk about that right now". That tells me that she knows that I didnt do anything and that she really did had her mind made up a long time ago. Or maybe she done talking about it...and wants the comunication between me and her to cease? Maybe?

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You need to stop worrying about it man :). Go NC and leave it at that

Sweet_Guy23 I perfectly understand how confused and boggling and decived this situation makes you feel like.

Trust me on that.
My advise to you would be to just come out of it because she really doesn't seem like the one who would care for your feelings. Just do away with the confusion and come out of it.
Dude PUT IT ALL BEHIND YOUR BACK.

Can you imagine a hell when there's a nc simply because you can't communicate because there's no PC at home nor no phone either? What do you call that? Welcome to my world.

But forget that, you come out of your sickness and get some life before this thing starts killing you.

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Originally Posted by snowalps

Sweet_Guy23 i perfectly understand how confused and boggling and decived this situation makes you feel like.

trust me on that.
my advise to you would be to just come out of it coz she really doesnt seem like the one who would care for your feelings. just do away with the confusion and come out of it.
Dude PUT IT ALL BEHIND YOUR BACK.

can you imagine a hell when theres a nc simply because you can't communicate coz theres no pc at home nor no phone either? what do u call that? welcome to my world.

but forget that, you come out of your sickness and get some life before this thing starts killing you.

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I am really trying to put it behind my back... its hard... bc we never had any real serious problem just little stuff that could have been worked through... it hard

I know... every second seems harrowing.
But do yourself a favor get stone hearted will you? Its urgent and it's the only thing to do.

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Originally Posted by snowalps

i know... every second seems harrowing.
but do yourself a favor get stone hearted will you? its urgent and its the only thing to do.

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Going stone heart may work for some but not all. Embrace the good times and learn from the bad times. Realize all of this a learning experience. One day you just wake and say "Damn, they were right. I am better without her, I will find the right one and she was not it". And when they day comes it will be a great day for you because not only will you have learned but you will have moved on to better things.

Yea. I know there is someone better out there. Its just hard to see that right now. I have learn a lot of things...

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Originally Posted by wikedjuggalo

Going stone heart may work for some but not all. Embrace the good times and learn from the bad times. Realize all of this a learning experience. one day you just wake and say "Damn, they were right. I am better without her, I will find the right one and she was not it". and when they day comes it will be a great day for you because not only will you have learned but you will have moved on to better things.

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Yeah but for extreme sentimentalists or emotional ones, this gnerally doesn't work... the stone heart comes in there...

I'm sort of proof here, after my ex broke it off with me, I felt so alone. 2 months later, I made a friend who quickly turned into a love interest and it's just continuing to grow each and everyday. We currently live together, with her 2 kids and are engaged and yes, I do think I found the one. But I wouldn't have admitted that there was someone else out there when me and my ex first parted.

Good things come from crappy situations

Just stop now

Stop asking why
It does not matter at the end of the day

What's done is done

Please listen to what these people have been saying
Start living your life

Even if you was the best boyfriend on earth that means nothing
Even if you did everything right. Again nothing

It is not YOU! It is HER!

She is the one that wants nothing more to do with you so leave it at that

From what I've learn NC can act only for your own good...

Believe me my friend...

Go with NC... ignoring her is the medicine, especially when you ignore a woman...

Only this will make you strong and its worth every second of it

I've been in your situation which is very difficult, I know my friend. But I do know that you, as everyone else, will become stronger, it is up to you in how much time you will. Believe me my friend these things pass away because they meant nothing since their beginning.

As an advice I would say to work out your body hard...
It will benefit your body and will calm your soul also...

You are strong inside, let it come out

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Originally Posted by TrueFaith

First off your time was not waisted you have learnt lots of leassons

Like STOP texting someone when they seem about as intrested in you as the black death dont you get the hint she first ignores you in the text then says she has to do homework Ahhh. its pain to read man.. this is what you have to stop. you will push girls away with that.

but Dude didnt we tell you to stay away from her?? i can't feel sorry for you because this is your fault you do know that.

She is bad news and you getting played sucks but! i think most of us sayd she is not good for you.

So Now stop the pain Train and leave her in the dust!

Work on your self get some PRIDE! and stop giving this person your heart to smash. stop looking at her facebook ok. you will not find anything in there to help you she will not give you any special messages you will just probable end up finding that she has moved on with some ugly mose head, and that will make you even more angry

Help your self here bud please :) no one likes seing someone hurting

Put this down to one set back and dont make the same mistake again
You sound young :) so take it from me it does not get any better, but we learn how to deal with things so much more. you have so much ahead of you. and if you can take the good things from this you will really have used your time wisely

best of luck

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Yeah I hear. But if she wasn't interested why she just didn't say so. I sat around waiting for the past week really thinking that she is actually thinking. All she ever said was that she was thinking about everything because she still didn't know what she wanted to do. So Saturday I figured that I would ask her do she wants to go get a bite to eat and talk. Instead of her saying "No Im trying to catch on my homework" She could have easily said "Well Im trying catch up on my homework right now, but later I can spare an hour for us to talk" but by her response I knew then she doesn't care. Her mind been made up...
But I hear you...

One word of advise forget about her man. Trust me I am experiencing the same thing. We dated for two years and it took her only a month to start dating another guy. So in fact I am actually in this with you. If she was the one that broke it up she won't give a rats about you and how you are feeling because they broke it off. The person that breaks it off is usually the selfish one who doesn't consider anyone but themselves. If you are texting her and her replies are short and choppy or no reply it means she's a and does not really care about you it's that simple. We've all made the mistake of replying and we all known that reply hurt us even more.

Sweetguy, I did the same what you did. I txt my ex a week after we broke up and said let talk about it. I try that a few times but all I got were blames that everything was my fault.

My advice is to do NC. I don't believe in it at first and I know it's hard. But it's better than keep contact with your ex and know that you won't get what you want to hear and it make you think more and create scenarios in your head that will drive you crazy. Curiosity killed the cat.

If she want you back she'll contact you. Try to move on and find another girl. When I think about my past, every time I get a new girlfriend I think about my ex and think in my head "thanks for dumping me because I found someone way better."

I have a post in "letter to our exes" where I thank all my exes for dumping me, so I could end up with my soul mate, and have children, grandchildren and a dog, and a good life.

You are sad now, but if you keep living, it gets better.

It's obvious, she's confuse because she has another guy in her life now. She chose the other guy, and just want you to move on. If you keep pressing, she would find talking to you no longer fun, and she had more fun talking to the other guy. There's nothing you can do. Just accept the fact and move on like everyone here once did.

So you think there's another guy?? That's the reason she is confused, she's into someone else?