Im not sure where to put this, so I just picked relationships. Im wondering what exactly the feeling of attraction is without any other feeling attached. Ive been attracted to people but only with the other feelings.

My boyfriend just told me that he is starting to feel an attraction for other girls, just without the other feelings. This really scares me because he has never felt that before, he's the kind of person that has never looked at looks on another person. There is a girl that sits beside him in his french class and he's attracted to her. I just want to know what he's feeling. How can he just be attracted to her without feeling anything for her?

Please don't tell me that he's felt like this before, I know him and I know he hasn't because he would have told me. He really tells me everything no matter how I feel about it.

Now this attraction thing that he's starting to get hurts. The fact that he never had it before was one of my favorite things about him because it was so different from other guys.

Im the type of person who worries about something no matter how sure I am about it. I suck at history and I have a history class this semester... at the same time my boyfriend has french... with this girl. Now I don't know how Im going to be able to sit through history without wondering if he's talking to her, if he's thinking about her, if he's looking at her... and so on...

It just means that he finds her physically attractive, not that he wants to be with her. He obviously cares about you a lot to be honest with you about something like this.

How long have you two been dating?

I was wondering if you have considered just trusting your boyfriend?

Let me ask you this,have you ever looked or admired another man,just noticed his smile,or the walk he walked?

If you have,did you chase after him,or was that just it?

Its natural to notice beauty and be attracted to other people,however that does not mean your going to act on it.

I'm going to take the view,that if your boyfriend is been up front and his usual behaviour is to tell you what's going on,you have nothing to fear..

It seems he his the type of guy who would be up front about his feelings.

Trust him.

Other wise you will drive yourself crazy with jealousy,and eventually drive him away too.

We have been dating 3 years and 6 months. I know that he cares about me and that he doesn't want to be with anyone else, but I don't know how to calm my worry and me being paranoid.

Unless in the past your boyfriend has given you cause to worry,I would not be concerned here.

You need to look at your own insecurites.. would you find an insecure person attractive?

What is it about this girl that he likes.. is she confident,secure,happy?

Are you these things?

I do trust him. Before I met him, all I cared about was how people looked, but since being with him, I just don't think about that stuff anymore. I have thought one person was cute since then.. Jeff Hardy. Hes a favorite wrestler of both of us. I told my boyfriend this, he struggled with it at first, but now he realizes its not a problem for him.

The only way I can think to explain this is by saying I have a little voice in my head. Its not a real voice, just... worry I guess. Its like Im constantly arguing with myself. One minute Im telling myself he's going to want her more, then the next Im telling myself that's crazy.. Its so confusing...

I don't know what it is about her that he finds attractive about her, I didn't ask.

Being attracted to another girl does not mean anything. You are the one he comes home to. I am pretty sure there are a lot of guys out there who is attracted to other girls besides their girlfriend. You shouldn't worry about this but instead trust him until he has broken your trust.

Have you spoken to him about this?

Maybe if he has not already made you feel comfortable with the situation he could put your mind at rest.

Its natural to worry about losing the one we love,but only if they give us a reason.

Do what redhead 35 said. Think about when you find anopther man physically attractive.
You notice he's got perfect hair, a HOT body, and a gorgeous face.
But WAIT! You don't think of him tha way you think of your boyfriend right? You wouldn't go run off with this other guy just because he has looks that you find appealing. You are in love with your boyfriend and he's the only guy you want to be with.
I'm sure your boyfriend feels exactly the same way about you.
I was upset with my boyfriend once for briefly saying hello to a random girl that he knew. He explained to me that he and I could be walking through a mall of naked models, and he would still be holding on to MY hand. He loves ME. Get it?

I just got back from South Carolina a few weeks ago. When I got back, my boyfriend started feeling weird. He said nothing changed between us, he just felt like I was a different person and that he felt like he lost me. Finally that stopped, and just the other night he told me that he felt like he was changing and sometimes he felt disconnected from me... then the next day he tells me he's starting to feel attraction for other girls. It just scares me...

Spend time together to get to now each other again. People change, have fun with him and learn more about him. It will help.

Thanks. Im going to have to talk to him and ask him questions about her. If I don't my worry will never stop. But if I know, wouldn't I be comparing myself to her?

Justhisgirl,be confident! Know your own worth,he is with you.. YOU.

If he wants her let him go,if he says different and wants you,if have to trust that,have a little faith until you know different..

And as a sideline,when your having this conversation,make sure you look stunning!

Thanks.

Your both growing up, maturity wise, and wondering about those feelings you're realizing you have, and what to do about them. As you grow you learn to cope with them, but not always act on them.

Its okay to feel, its what you do about them, that will make, or break you.

Define the boundaries of good behavior for yourself, and the relationship, and don't cross the lines you set, no matter how tempting, or easy, it may seem. Thats how you cope with it.

You will be attracted to others in variety of ways, and for a variety of reasons, (if your human), but that doesn't mean you act on it. (for that matter you will dislike others for a variety of reasons too, its still your feelings to cope with) this will go own for the rest of your life. Enjoy it.

He told me this last night, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Im not sure why it hurts so bad but it doesn't. I just keep wanting to cry. I can't get it out of my head.

I have spent a little while going back over your previous posts and threads,you seem to have a lot of trust issues and a general hard time coping with stressful situations.

May I suggest to seek councilling of some discription,and reconsider your relationship with your boyfriend,as he seems to be a trigger for your low periods.

I know this contradicts my posts on this thread,however in my defense I did not have all the details.

I am happily married and I would never cheat on my wife but that doesn't mean I am not attracted to other women. Some I see in real life some I see on TV. I just don't act on those feelings there are many reasons I don't act on it but the main one is I love my wife more then I could love anyone else.

When it really comes down to it all humans are animals with instincts. The difference between us and an animal is we have self control where an animal does not. I know it is hard not to be upset but he hasn't done anything wrong. I mean do you really think he see's Jessica Alba on TV and doesn't think wow she is good looking. It is natural.

Do not worry so much. However, its good to be careful, and notice the changes as and if they come.
Plus one thing you SHOULD NOT do is prod him about that girl. The more you do that the more his curiousity and interest in that lady will go stronger. Just try to stay normal and have a regular life. Don't ask questions, but LISTEN to what he says. I am sure since he is very communicative you would not be in trouble all of a sudden.