I just don't know where to start, il try and get the most important bits out. I went out with my ex boyfriend for a couple of months before he said that he couldn't give me the 100% that I deserved and that he still loved me etc etc. His friends warned me at the beginning of the relationship that he LIES LIES LIES but being blinded by love I thought he would change for me!! Big mistake I now no!!

This was 2 yrs ago, at the time he really hurt me and I did the NC for approx 9 months, he was texting me but I ignored him, then approx 15 months ago I started texting him back and to cut a long story short its been a barrel of lies on his part since then.

When we were together I lost a baby at 4 weeks and this is the " bond" he now uses me with, he says that he still loves me and has never forgotten me, here are some of the lies he has told

When we stated meeting each other he asked for me to get back with him and obviousley I was wary, he said that he hadn't had a relationship since me and was single, I then found out that he has a girlfriend who lives 200 miles away!!

I asked him if he had ever met other girls from Facebook with the intent of dating and he said no and then I found out the day before he had arranged to meet a girl that he had met 1 week earlier on Facebook!!

He told me that he loved me and that a friend (girl) of his was just a mate and that's all, then I find out he went and slept with her recently!!

Throughout all of the above he was texting and calling me saying that he loved me and wanted us to be together, every time I thought about going back il find something new out and it hurts sooo much. :(:(:(

It all cae to ahead approx 3 weeks ago when I text him and told him that I knew he was still seeing this girl, the one he slept with (he says they are just mates but I have proof that they are together) I told him that he is a liar and that he will never change, that they belong together and to never contact me ever again. He said some really nasty things to me and told me never to text him again. I think he was really pi$$ed off because I caught him out to be honest. We haven't spoke since.

I know that he will pop back up in my life in a few weeks like he always does, it just hurt me as he called me a freak and a wierdo?? I am neither of them, just a silly woman who put her trust in someone time and time again.

I asked him before our argument why he keeps getting in touch with me and he says its because he loves me and because of the "bond" we have with our passed baby. Its like he is using this as an excuse.

Im so lost right now, he just lies about everything, where he has been, who he has been with, I just can't trust him one little bit

When I found out about him sleeping with the other woman I tried to be calm and asked if he wanted to meet me ? He said yes so I said that I will come and meet him at his parents and we could go for a walk, he was insistant that we met at a pub. This made me wonder if his parents knew he had a girlfriend so that's the reason he didn't want me at his house.?

I was wondering what rights do I really have in terms of caring, I mean its not that we were together when he told these lies or slept with this woman, but he was asking for me to get back with him so I'm surely allowed to be annoyed??

Another thing is that he rings me up and always puts the phone down on me, every single time, when he has finished talking to me he don't say bye and just hangs up. He also only answers my texts as and when he feels like it. Somedays he won't answer my questions for days.

He likes playing mind games with me, he gets a kick out of it I'm sure

Apart from all the above,

All these issues beg the question: Why are do you allow him to play games with you? Why do you even still talk to him?

I'm just curious, what did you want to ask from us? Did you just want to come rant about how bad this guy is? Because it seems like you already realize that he's a liar and that you cannot trust him.

You already seem to know that you should leave him, and not contact him, and ignore him when he tries to call. So why are you here? Did you want us to agree with you? Did you not believe it yourself, and so you needed to type it out to help you cope?

I'm asking these questions to get you to focus on yourself right now (not to be a jerk ;) ). You seem so focused on how bad of a guy he is, but what about how good of a girl you are? Instead of constantly talking and thinking about how horrible he treated you, focus on how much happier you were (and will be) without him.

The loss of an unborn child is a tragedy, and it can cause unexpected emotions. Obviously, though, you do not feel like there is any kind of "bond" left. You need to make him realize that it is over, you aren't coming back, and that you both need to move on with your lives.

He will give up eventually, as long as you don't let him think he has a chance.

~ Tee

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Originally Posted by kctiger

All these issues beg the question: Why are do you allow him to play games with you? Why do you even still talk to him?

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I know KCTIGER, I know, I'm trying to turn my feelings off and walk away, I've not spoke to him in a week. I text him and told him to leave me alone.

Why does he play so many games, what does he get out of it??

The part of me wants to tell his girlfriend that he has been telling me that he loves me and not her, but I realise that it would make me look like the bitter ex and he would think that I care (when I do really but don't want to show it ). People have told the girlfriend what he is like but she is blinded by love, she says that she is a good judge of character??

He knows that I love him sooooo much and this is why he plays these games with my heart, I've done well with NC for a week but my heart is breaking the thought of them two together

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Originally Posted by Triysle

I'm just curious, what did you want to ask from us? Did you just want to come rant about how bad this guy is? Because it seems like you already realize that he's a liar and that you cannot trust him.

You already seem to know that you should leave him, and not contact him, and ignore him when he tries to call. So why are you here? Did you want us to agree with you? Did you not believe it yourself, and so you needed to type it out to help you cope?

I'm asking these questions to get you to focus on yourself right now (not to be a jerk ;) ). You seem so focused on how bad of a guy he is, but what about how good of a girl you are? Instead of constantly talking and thinking about how horrible he treated you, focus on how much happier you were (and will be) without him.

The loss of an unborn child is a tragedy, and it can cause unexpected emotions. Obviously, though, you do not feel like there is any kind of "bond" left. You need to make him realize that it is over, you aren't coming back, and that you both need to move on with your lives.

He will give up eventually, as long as you don't let him think he has a chance.

~ Tee

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Tee, thanks for the advice, I don't know what I wanted from you guys tbh, I'm a sensible girl and know that I need to walk away from his bull$hit. He uses the baby as "we will always have a bond" and that is his way of staying in my life, or should I say jumping in and out whenever he pleases.

I suppose I just want to know if others have been with a guy that lies about everything, why do they do it? Why does he want to hurt me when he says that he loves me?

About 1 month after he slept with this girl I asked why and he said that they were both drunk, he said that it didn't feel right them sleeping together when he woke up in the morning and told her that he just wanted to be friends with her, he told me that it felt right when we slept together 2 yrs ago. Then I find out that they are still together!! Why, just why does he have to lie.

I would have been find if he had turned round and said, look I have a girlfriend so I can't be with you but like the girlfriend he had a long distance relationship with last yr he just can't be honest with me

It sucks to see someone you love with another person, I know, believe me. In the end, you are doing the right thing for yourself, and that is all that matters. A few months from now you will look back on this and realize what a waste of time it was to cry tears for such a toxic man. Until then, we will be your crutch and help you get through this.

I wouldn't worry too much about why he plays the games, games only are effective if someone feeds into them. I like to say games are like birds at the beach, you feed one, you have a ton swarming around you the next time.

I think the main point I'm trying to make is that he comes in and out of my life as he pleases, he will disappear now for a few weeks then appear when he is ready.

Have I got a right to be angry with him?? We were not together but he was texting/phoning me 24/7 asking for me to be his girlfriend when he already had one. He split up with the long distance girlfriend in Jan (he asked me to sleep with him in dec by the way!! ) and I think because I wouldn't meet him due to his lying he got together with this latest piece of skirt in March, whilst being with her he was texting/phoning me begging for a 2nd chance.

I do love him but I know that he lies and cheats and I could never in a million years trust him after all the lies.

Have you ever loved someone so much but just know that you can't be with them as it would never work due to trust issues??

Holding anger at him really doesn't help your cause, it is a non point, so to speak. Do you have a right? I suppose. Does it do you any good? No. You are just as much to blame by letting him have this much control over your emotions. Stop ALLOWING him to play games with you.

While I haven't ever loved someone so much and not have it work out because of trust, I do know that without trust you can't have a relationship. Both of my long term exes tried to come back into my life, but they broke my trust and I couldn't give myself a reason to try it again.

You are all very wise, I think if I tried to understand why he plays these games then it would be easier for me to get over him?? But I don't think that il ever find that out and that is what he plays on I think.

I used to ask him what I have done wrong and he don't reply to my texts, I said that if I don't know what I've done wrong then how can I fix it?? Deep down I know that I haven't done anything wrong but love and trust him and look where that has got me??

Why do people play mind games with you, when they know that you love them

A quote about anger, holding onto anger is like clasping a hot coal with intention on throwing it, only you get burned.

Anger is natural, but let it go as it still gives him power over you.

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Originally Posted by whyalwaysmoi

you are all very wise, i think if i tried to understand why he plays these games then it would be easier for me to get over him ????? but i dont think that il ever find that out and that is what he plays on i think.

I used to ask him what i have done wrong and he dont reply to my texts, i said that if i dont know what ive done wrong then how can i fix it ??? deep down i know that i havnt done anything wrong but love and trust him and look where that has got me ????

Why do people play mind games with you, when they know that you love them

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Because you enable them to do so...

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Originally Posted by kctiger

Because you enable them to do so...

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I want to let go of this anger as its eating me up inside and making me ill, how do you walk away from someone who has treated you so badley?? I want to rid myself of the anger and move on but its just so raw at the moment. I know that if I keep this up then he has won so to speak (not that it's a game)

He knows how much I love him and he plays on that love, :(:(:(

It is time for you to change your number and be done with him for good. Keep him out of your life since you already know he is up to no good.

Don't allow him to play with your head any more. He is your ex so lets keep it that way.

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Originally Posted by whyalwaysmoi

He knows how much i love him and he plays on that love, :(:(:(

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Why do you love a liar and a cheater?

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Originally Posted by liz28

Why do you love a liar and a cheater?

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I fell in love with him and then found out he was a liar and a cheater, I would never have allowed myself to fall like this if I knew he lied and cheated

I dated a girl in high school who lied and cheated on me, it was young love but still love. While I knew it was happening, I was powerless to stop the love I felt. It took time and distance away from her for me to recover

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Originally Posted by Romefalls19

I dated a girl in high school who lied and cheated on me, it was young love but still love. While I knew it was happening, I was powerless to stop the love I felt. It took time and distance away from her for me to recover

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We are both 30, we have totally different lives, I've got my own house and he is still at home with parents.

It hurts when I think of them both together whilst I'm here alone and hurting, all because I trusted and believed in him when others didn't. I just feel like I've been stabbed in the back and I don't know how il recover right at this moment in time. I used to be a strong person before I met him, but he has just took all my confidence away with his lies