hi I'm going out with a girl for seven months now. We get on the best but since the start of our relationship I have caught her out lying at least ten times. It started when her x was textting and ringing her and she was replying, but she told me she wasn't. Then little lies about her past and the boy she was with before me was just a friend, but she was seeing him for two years?

now she's away on a hen party for a week abroad and I don't know if she will cheat or not. I don't know if I can believe anything that she is telling me or not. Like she could have ten guys over there but she could tell me she didn't do anything you know? And I won't find out from her best mates who are with her. .

please help as my head is wrekd

been thinking what the best thing to do when she comes home is and unsure if she can be trusted period

any answers reatly appreciated thanks

Emotions can really confuse you when you care about someone but they don't show you the same respect you would show them. The truth of the matter is, she doesn't feel the same way about values in a relationship as you do.

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

i have caught her out lying at least ten times.

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Trust is just as important, if not more important that love in a relationship. If you can't trust her then what's the point? You can't be the only one bringing trust into a relationship, it's a two person game.

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

now shes away on a hen party for a week and i dont know if she will cheat or not.

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If you don't know if you can trust her, then why are you punishing yourself by staying.

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

please help as my head is wrekd

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If your head is wrecked then this probably isn't a good match for you. A relationship is about two people coming together, not one bringing the other down. If this is what she's doing to you, then why bother.

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

been thinkin wat the best thing to do wen she comes home is . . .

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I wouldn't ask her anything about the event that is accusitory. But if she lies to you again, tell her that you bring a lot more to the table then that and you have expectations of those who will be with you. If lying is going to continue then tell her your sorry but you'll have to end the relationship as it is not something you value from somebody.

But how do I know she didn't hook up with half of spain all week because she knew I wudnt find out?

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

but how do i know she didnt hook up with half of spain all week cos she knew i wudnt find out?

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Dude, I just smacked myself in the forehead. Did you get the point I made at all? Who cares what she did in Spain. If you can't trust in Spain, you can't trust her on a night out by herself. There is no trust in this relationship, so why do you keep punishing yourself?

But how can two people go through so much and I mean a lot in a short time, and she can lie like mad?

I mean if ilied I could understand but I neva have. Can you trust after being lied to 4 so long.

The thing about the lies is I always scaught her out othawise id neva have known. .

What should I do and sori if this sounds stupid

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

but how can two ppl go thru so much and i mean a lot in a short time, and she can lie like mad??

i mean if ilied i could understand but i neva have. can u trust after bein lied to 4 so long.

the thing about the lies is i alway scaught her out othawise id neva have known . .

wat shud i do and sori if this sounds stupid

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First thing you should do is spell correctly. That is very hard to read.

Second thing you should do is accept that she is not the person you made her out to be.

Third thing you should do is accept this is more like a fling, it's only been a few months. This was not a long standing relationship. You say you've gone through so much, you have not. You are giving way too much meaning for little things that don't mean anything or they don't mean the same things to her.

Fourth thing you should do is start accepting that you deserve better and lying is not something you should put up with.

We have been through a lot my dad died she was there through it all

I do love everything about her but can she eva be trusted or am I insecure?

I mean once a liar always a liar

Thank you for your help with this mate

Sori on top of all this I've been cheated on before, but am I wrong or right to feel like the bad guy here?

She's away all week in spain but is texting like mad, is she covering something up or am I just reading too much into all of this (even though she's lied a lot)

T or F,

Your spelling is pretty bad. I'm not trying to be the grammar police here, but I think people will have an easier time reading what you have to say, and also take it more seriously if you bother to spell correctly. Try:

Otherwise instead of 'othawise'
Never instead of 'neva'
Something instead of something'
etc.

Once again just constructive criticism, good spelling is your friend, and will get you further! (... Geesh now I feel like some old schoolmarm)

As stated in the first response, without trust you have nothing.

You have nothing. Move on or stay where you are. The choice is yours, but you will never be happy in this mode.

It's not her job to make you trust her.

It's not her job to alleviate your fears.

It's not her issue that you are going mind-cracked over "is she cheating" freakouts. This is all you. You, and no one else.

If you take your fears and turn them into action against another person, it's borderline evil. Stop yourself.

It takes courage to face life, and life is about facing fears, mastering them. You do that all on your own with these issues. They don't concern her in the least.

If you can't trust her what makes u think that u guys can have a serious relationship.

Sometimes you'll be with great people who treat you like crap.

You cannot trust her. So stop being with her.

Get a pair and stop being scared of being alone. If she throws lies around like its no big deal, you have no right to be alarmed when your worst fears are true.

Sure... she could be true and faithful... but a person who lies constantly just bring chaos into the relationship. Period.

Don't be so hard on yourself mate, if she's lied to you about such things before your mind might play games on you and you consciously OR unconsciously have a hell of a hard time trusting her because you KNOW from experience that she is capable of not telling the truth,
Which will always raise the question in your head, "Why should I trust her?"

I could be wrong, just my point of view.

Exactly my point burn notice, she could be teling the truth but she is more than likely lying. We had a big conversation over this a few weeks ago with it ending in me saying leave me to figure out what I want and I said if she lies again its over. The whole hen party thing abroad is wrecking me because I don't know if anything will have went on or not. .

Don't blame her, she is, who she is. The real question is why are you with this liar, if you don't trust her?

We all know her problem, so what's yours?

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Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't blame her, she is, who she is. The real question is why are you with this liar, if you don't trust her?

We all know her problem, so whats yours?

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How the fcuk do I have a problem except that she is a lying?

What advice I'm going with a liar but I HAVE A PROBLEM?

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

how the fcuk do i have a problem except that she is a lying ??

wat advice im goin with a liar but I HAVE A PROBLEM??

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Yes and a big one it seems, as your passing up your best solution, leave her alone, and end dealing with this liar.

What a you looking for, a way to change her? That's up to her.

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Originally Posted by trueorfalse

how the fcuk do i have a problem except that she is a lying ??

wat advice im goin with a liar but I HAVE A PROBLEM??

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You have a lot of problems. You are going out with a liar, but instead of deal with your own insecurities about losing her, you drive yourself nuts wondering if you can go on with out her. We know her problems, she's a liar. You won't even accept that you need to man up about the situation and stand up for yourself. So why?

Why is it his problem that she lies to him period and another thing mabye she's lying because she is uncomfortable about the relationship? Sit her down for a talk and mabye shell tell you why and you'll understand! :)